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I'm kind of confused.

 

In a thread a little bit ago about breastfeeding there was this whole "breasts are NOT sexual, they serve a higher purpose, so if you see my breast while I am breastfeeding my child and think sexual thoughts that is YOUR problem and you need to get over it" sentiment.

 

And now we have a thread about how the slim space between a woman's breasts is too sexually seductive and we need to cover it up? I thought breasts were not sexual, they served a higher purpose? Or is it the nipple part is not sexual but the cleavage part is? Or they are not sexual while you are breastfeeding but any other time they are?

 

If it is acceptable/normal/beautiful for a woman to breastfeed in public and not worry about whether or not her breast is showing then I don't see why cleavage would be an issue either.

 

Just seems a little contradictory to me.

Here is my take on it: Showing cleavage and wearing clothes that are meant to make breasts seem sexually attractive is one of the things in our society that undermines breastfeeding.
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:iagree:

 

Personally, I don't care what every man thinks...just the one I'm married to, lol! As pointed out, there are men that find a well endowed woman in a gi distracting...and that is everything to do with THEM, not the woman in question.

 

Seriously, I'm a J cup. No, that's not a typo. There isn't a shirt made that I don't have cleavage/noticeable BooKs in. And I cannot STAND anything against my throat, I literally start to have a panic attack. Any tshirt, etc I own ends up stretched out at the neck from constant pulling on the front of the neckline so I feel like I can breathe.

 

Then there are the other times that I absolutely DO purposely wear low cut :drool: tops or dresses, because I'm going out with my husband, and he loves to see me wearing something that shows some cleavage, something a bit sexy...Wife Wear instead of Mom Wear, if that makes sense. No, not cut down to my navel, but at my size, cleavage is noticeable, especially when its a shirt or dress meant to show it!

 

 

 

Honey... with a J cup you'd be sporting cleavage in a parka! You go girl! Flaunt 'em if you've got 'em and be proud!

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I am aghast! Polynomials is a violation of tag rules.

 

to a few like me who purposely draw the (neck) line just before cleavage!
That's me. It is very difficult though. I have found out later that it shows while holding my child, or after my shirt has been tugged on, or if someone is taller than me.... but it looked fine in the mirror.:glare:
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We've had this discussion before.

 

I used to dress conservatively, matronly and blah. That's also how I felt about myself.

 

Today, my wardrobe includes some outfits that show cleavage. My husband likes it.

 

We don't hold the view point that men need to stop looking if they are married (or not married, or whatever).

 

I truly see the very conservative dress/help men not stumble on the same continuum as the Muslim view of women needing to cover *all* skin. I just don't buy it and I don't believe my Creator would play some cosmic joke by having men visually stimulated and women having to cover to keep men faithful.

 

I believe the modest dress verses are a function of the culture around women at Bible times.

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We've had this discussion before.

 

I used to dress conservatively, matronly and blah. That's also how I felt about myself.

 

Today, my wardrobe includes some outfits that show cleavage. My husband likes it.

 

We don't hold the view point that men need to stop looking if they are married (or not married, or whatever).

 

I truly see the very conservative dress/help men not stumble on the same continuum as the Muslim view of women needing to cover *all* skin. I just don't buy it and I don't believe my Creator would play some cosmic joke by having men visually stimulated and women having to cover to keep men faithful.

 

I believe the modest dress verses are a function of the culture around women at Bible times.

 

Excellent analogy! From what I have read, one of the primary justifications of the burqua is that it prevents men from having impure thoughts. I always felt it unfair to put the burden on women to control men's thoughts and actions - seems like that should be the men's job! In the same vein asking women to not show clevage, not wear short skirts - if it makes them feel good about themselves - seems unfair. It also seems a short leap to that horrible rape justification of "see how she was dressed."

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The opposite of covering all one's skin is not taking it all off. Otherwise the strip club culture would be the best place for women to be respected for one's intellect.

 

When women are socially expected to wear very revealing clothes in order to excite random men on the street and provide fodder for other women's catty comments, and to allow others to analysis of their body, I do not at all believe this is liberating.

 

I did raise my eyebrows a bit when the 90-something year old gal at church wore a blouse w/ a heart-shaped design cut on the chest [with just a bit buttoned at the throat], exposing quite a bit of cleavage
I don't think Peek A Boo (whose screen name and picture are remarkably appropriate for this thread...or not!) is alone in the view that it's fine and/or liberating for young girls to wear short skirts and tight pants and so on, but skanky or borderline so for old ladies.

 

Relatedly, I was rather surprised what suggestions Google had for searches beginning with "old ladies."

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I truly see the very conservative dress/help men not stumble on the same continuum as the Muslim view of women needing to cover *all* skin. I just don't buy it and I don't believe my Creator would play some cosmic joke by having men visually stimulated and women having to cover to keep men faithful.

 

 

AMEN, sister!

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Maybe I'm a fool for jumping into a thread of this sort, but it seems to me that a primary reason for wearing low necklines is that they're slimming. The downward plunge of the v or the scoop or the unbuttoned top button or two draws the eye downward, visually lengthening the silhouette.

 

Also, covering the breasts entirely makes them look bigger than they are, because their line is unbroken. For busty women, that's not a desirable thing.

 

As to the OP's implied question, though, there are always going to be people who dress or behave inappropriately for the context in which they find themselves. They are socially inept and/or their goals differ from yours.

 

Nealy

mama to Thales, 6; Lydia, 3; and Odin, 9 months

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I am not a big fan of my ummmm endowments, I could do with about half LOL. I do not like showing off my cleavage at all. My main problem is that I am a small person besides that, I am 5' 2" and unless pregnant weigh about 125lbs. Most clothing that fits me do NOT fit my bustline. I often look like i am showing when that is not my intention, I have some beautiful shirts my sister gave me that I am so in love with and would look so good on me if I was half of what I am but it looks inappropriate on me. Sometimes I resort to mens shirts but I feel frumpy (hey I have #5 on the way and sometimes I need to look nice....it helps me feel good about myself) and sometimes I just get so frustrated with nothing fitting right that I wear a shirt that shows more than I would like. Most of the time I make do with clothes that look appropriate but I don't really love or love wearing.

 

I don't feel that I am respected at all when the attention I'm getting is below my neck :-(

 

I do agree with a pp that sadly some women do it for attention and it works, I know people who this applies to and know they have much better qualities that people don't notice because of their dress.

 

Sara

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I don't think Peek A Boo (whose screen name and picture are remarkably appropriate for this thread...or not!) is alone in the view that it's fine and/or liberating for young girls to wear short skirts and tight pants and so on, but skanky or borderline so for old ladies.

 

I never said it was "fine" or "liberating" -- i only mentioned what i did and why I did it. Obviously motives and the heart are an indispensable part of the equation. That I have my own personal tastes in what looks attractive and what doesn't does not imply a judgment of heart or character.

 

I also raise my eyebrows at unconventional piercings and hair styles, but that doesn't color my perception of a person's abilities or character. Just their choice in fashion. ;)

 

yes....."Peek a Boo" was more in a playful child's game, but I do get the euphemism, lol. And yeah, Catwoman's non-cleavage-showing suit would still not be considered modest by most definitions.....

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I truly see the very conservative dress/help men not stumble on the same continuum as the Muslim view of women needing to cover *all* skin. I just don't buy it and I don't believe my Creator would play some cosmic joke by having men visually stimulated and women having to cover to keep men faithful.

 

I don't think it is any joke At. All. that God leads some women to feel personally convicted to cover up as a way to help another NOT stumble. Different people have different gifts and weaknesses. God places the people that are complementary together. That's NOT a joke. That men are naturally visually stimulated by the female form does not mean that it is good right or salutary that they pursue such stimulation in a wanton manner.

I believe the modest dress verses are a function of the culture around women at Bible times.

 

 

Scripture says there is nothing new under the sun and that ALL scripture is "profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness." Even the ones that may be dismissed as "culturally irrelevant."

 

I do think there are many people who express their humility and modesty of the heart in their dress, in their relationships with other people, and in their actions. The combination of those expressions will differ from one Christian to another though.

 

-------------

and i don't necessarily say this to argue w/ Joanne, but to give an opposing view of what she posted for others.

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J? There is a J cup? Is that cantilevered with pillars for support?

 

Seriously, I am sorry. Most my friends with anything over a D with they could get reductions because their backs hurt so bad. Not to mention life is kinda hard when you have watermelons blocking your way. My MIL is the biggest woman I've ever seen and I don't think she's a J.

Ha. Ha. Ha. Cantilevered pillars. Ha. Ha. Ha. :glare:

 

I was going for reduction surgery, but now I have RSD, and am terrified of what surgery might do. RSD is known to spread through the body, and I'm afraid that surgery would cause RSD to begin at the site.

Beth Moore nailed this one in her study of Esther (which I'm in the midst of):

 

"Keep your breasts to yourselves!" was my favorite line from that portion of her talk on modesty, insecurity, and trying to get other women's husbands to look at you.

 

She also said there are two kinds of women (besides the rest of us): those who want everyone to think they're beautiful and those who want men to think they're beautiful--the second type she called "dangerous."

 

I don't how any woman who calls herself a Christian and has read Every Man's Battle can dress in revealing or tight clothing in good conscience--that book was a wake-up call to me and lifechanging for my husband.

 

Dressing in revealing or body hugging clothing is in total violation of what the Bible says about not causing others to stumble (not blaming women for men's lust, but as sisters in Christ, we have a responsibility to our brothers) as well as the Biblical teaching for women to be modest.

 

The bottom line, though, that Beth pointed out is that women who dress to get men to look at them are not understanding their worth/value in God's eyes. So, like everything else, it's a heart issue, but it manifests on the outside.

 

I talked to SpecialMama about this a bit ago. I keep going back to I please my husband, period. There are men that will lust after me because of my waist length hair. Or full lips. Or unusual eyes. Should I shave my head and wear a Bozo mask? I'm sick of being responsible for other people's thoughts. If my husband finds me attractive in a dress, should I never wear it outside the house for fear of provoking a stranger? Or never wear perfume, because the scent reminds them of something arousing? Seriously, where's the line drawn?

 

And why, because I'm way over developed, naturally, not by surgery, should I be forced to wear shirts that I literally feel like I'm strangling in, yet anything other than that shows cleavage? I can't wear blouses, I can't do up the buttons 1 handed. So now what??

Honey... with a J cup you'd be sporting cleavage in a parka! You go girl! Flaunt 'em if you've got 'em and be proud!

I hate winter. I live in Canada. I'm hooped. I have to buy coats several sizes too big for the rest of me so I can do up the zipper. My hands can't be seen at the end of the sleeves...and if they are, there's so much material bunched in the arms that bending at the elbow is a challenge. My dh hates me wearing his coats cause he claims I 'stretch them out' or leave 'nipple prints' in them. Turkey.:tongue_smilie:

 

I have stretched out some of his/my favourite shirts though :o

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Let's not forget the vertical wrinkles I get in the morning: Faux Cleavage. Let's call it Fleavage.

 

I flaunt my fleavage. If my fleavage is lacking, I can always walk around trying to touch my elbows together at my bellybutton, thus creating Temporary Cleavage. Teavage.

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Ha. Ha. Ha. Cantilevered pillars. Ha. Ha. Ha. :glare:

 

I was going for reduction surgery, but now I have RSD, and am terrified of what surgery might do. RSD is known to spread through the body, and I'm afraid that surgery would cause RSD to begin at the site.

 

I talked to SpecialMama about this a bit ago. I keep going back to I please my husband, period. There are men that will lust after me because of my waist length hair. Or full lips. Or unusual eyes. Should I shave my head and wear a Bozo mask? I'm sick of being responsible for other people's thoughts. If my husband finds me attractive in a dress, should I never wear it outside the house for fear of provoking a stranger? Or never wear perfume, because the scent reminds them of something arousing? Seriously, where's the line drawn?

 

And why, because I'm way over developed, naturally, not by surgery, should I be forced to wear shirts that I literally feel like I'm strangling in, yet anything other than that shows cleavage? I can't wear blouses, I can't do up the buttons 1 handed. So now what??

 

I hate winter. I live in Canada. I'm hooped. I have to buy coats several sizes too big for the rest of me so I can do up the zipper. My hands can't be seen at the end of the sleeves...and if they are, there's so much material bunched in the arms that bending at the elbow is a challenge. My dh hates me wearing his coats cause he claims I 'stretch them out' or leave 'nipple prints' in them. Turkey.:tongue_smilie:

 

I have stretched out some of his/my favourite shirts though :o

What is it with men's shirts fitting better than women's shirts? You really should take your coats to a tailor. I mean, you could probably only buy 2 every 4 years or so (I go about 7 years, usually). It would be so worth it for them to fit properly.
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Let's not forget the vertical wrinkles I get in the morning: Faux Cleavage. Let's call it Fleavage.

 

I flaunt my fleavage. If my fleavage is lacking, I can always walk around trying to touch my elbows together at my bellybutton, thus creating Temporary Cleavage. Teavage.

 

:: giving due attention to SwimmyKids' Fleavage and Teavage. ::

 

:w00t::drool5::001_wub::drool::001_tt1::blink: :thumbup1:

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Let's not forget the vertical wrinkles I get in the morning: Faux Cleavage. Let's call it Fleavage.

 

I flaunt my fleavage. If my fleavage is lacking, I can always walk around trying to touch my elbows together at my bellybutton, thus creating Temporary Cleavage. Teavage.

 

:: giving due attention to SwimmyKids' Fleavage and Teavage. ::

 

:w00t::drool5::drool::001_tt1::blink: :thumbup1:

:lol::lol:
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I just have a few thoughts:

 

 

  • Luckily (or unluckily) it seems like the rules of clothing have become way relaxed in the last 50 years. It used to be that women didn't leave the house without the "proper attire." Times have changed, which is good because I would have hated having to get my corset and girdle for a quick trip for a gallon of milk. On the other hand, some have taken this "relaxed rules" idea way overboard and like to wear whatever they want. I'm not just talking about immodest dress (such as too much cleavage or bikinis at the grocery store) but also things such as bra straps under tank tops, low riders with boxers showing (or worse....low riders with cracks showing,) people wearing pajama pants as regular clothes, etc.... Just visit any Walmart and you'll quickly realize that society seems to have lost the concept of "proper attire." I'm not endorsing a return to corsets and girdles, although I do sometimes wish people would rethink their wardrobe choices. I know I sound like an old fuddy-duddy, but I just can't appreciate these new trends. I'm all for comfortable clothes, I'm not for public viewing of cracks or underwear. (They're called undergarments for a reason.)

 

 

  • I think most people can tell the difference when a well-endowed women is flaunting it, and when she's trying to wear something modest or even flattering, but seems to have had a wardrobe malfunction.

 

 

  • To a certain point, I think a little bit of cleavage showing is feminine. It can show that I'm a mom, but I didn't leave my womanhood at the maternity ward. I still want to look like a woman and not like I just threw a trash bag over my head and walked out the door. BUT, v-neck t-shirts with a supportive bra are one thing, snug tank tops smothering large, loose, pendulous breasts are another thing alltogether. I don't think anyone wants to see true womanhood THAT much. (although who knows...maybe someone does...I'm learning new things everyday!)

 

 

  • Again, some people take it way overboard and just want the attention. Well, they've got it. My only problem is when people choose to wear overly-revealing clothing with the philosophy of "I like this so I'll wear it and if you have an issue with it, that's your problem." Then, when the onlookers DO make disparaging or lewd comments these same over-revealers get all bent out of shape and say "How dare you talk about me?" They can't have it both ways. They can't wear revealing clothing and expect to blend in and go unnoticed. If they truly don't mind being talked about, then more power to them. I certainly envy their self-confidence.

 

 

  • I am NOT NOT NOT saying that a women who wears revealing clothes and then gets raped is "asking for it." That crime is never the victim's fault, no matter what they are wearing (or not wearing.)

 

 

  • I do think that it is very hard to take a woman seriously (for her mind) if she is working so hard for everyone to notice her "other" assets. I think it's even more difficult if she's working around men. For example, my husband attends a once a month work-related meeting at which several of the women like to push the envelope when it comes to appropriate work attire. (think Naughty Secretary) Dh, jokingly, has started calling the meetings the "Monthly Jugfest." Do you really think those women are taken seriously? Do you think the men are really paying attention to what great wisdom is coming out of her mouth when her other assets are coming out of her shirt? I'm not so sure, although I do know she get's a lot of attention.

 

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I just have a few thoughts:

 

 

  • Luckily (or unluckily) it seems like the rules of clothing have become way relaxed in the last 50 years. It used to be that women didn't leave the house without the "proper attire." Times have changed, which is good because I would have hated having to get my corset and girdle for a quick trip for a gallon of milk. On the other hand, some have taken this "relaxed rules" idea way overboard and like to wear whatever they want. I'm not just talking about immodest dress (such as too much cleavage or bikinis at the grocery store) but also things such as bra straps under tank tops, low riders with boxers showing (or worse....low riders with cracks showing,) people wearing pajama pants as regular clothes, etc.... Just visit any Walmart and you'll quickly realize that society seems to have lost the concept of "proper attire." I'm not endorsing a return to corsets and girdles, although I do sometimes wish people would rethink their wardrobe choices. I know I sound like an old fuddy-duddy, but I just can't appreciate these new trends. I'm all for comfortable clothes, I'm not for public viewing of cracks or underwear. (They're called undergarments for a reason.)

 

 

  • I think most people can tell the difference when a well-endowed women is flaunting it, and when she's trying to wear something modest or even flattering, but seems to have had a wardrobe malfunction.

 

 

  • To a certain point, I think a little bit of cleavage showing is feminine. It can show that I'm a mom, but I didn't leave my womanhood at the maternity ward. I still want to look like a woman and not like I just threw a trash bag over my head and walked out the door. BUT, v-neck t-shirts with a supportive bra are one thing, snug tank tops smothering large, loose, pendulous breasts are another thing alltogether. I don't think anyone wants to see true womanhood THAT much. (although who knows...maybe someone does...I'm learning new things everyday!)

 

 

  • Again, some people take it way overboard and just want the attention. Well, they've got it. My only problem is when people choose to wear overly-revealing clothing with the philosophy of "I like this so I'll wear it and if you have an issue with it, that's your problem." Then, when the onlookers DO make disparaging or lewd comments these same over-revealers get all bent out of shape and say "How dare you talk about me?" They can't have it both ways. They can't wear revealing clothing and expect to blend in and go unnoticed. If they truly don't mind being talked about, then more power to them. I certainly envy their self-confidence.

 

 

  • I am NOT NOT NOT saying that a women who wears revealing clothes and then gets raped is "asking for it." That crime is never the victim's fault, no matter what they are wearing (or not wearing.)

 

 

  • I do think that it is very hard to take a woman seriously (for her mind) if she is working so hard for everyone to notice her "other" assets. I think it's even more difficult if she's working around men. For example, my husband attends a once a month work-related meeting at which several of the women like to push the envelope when it comes to appropriate work attire. (think Naughty Secretary) Dh, jokingly, has started calling the meetings the "Monthly Jugfest." Do you really think those women are taken seriously? Do you think the men are really paying attention to what great wisdom is coming out of her mouth when her other assets are coming out of her shirt? I'm not so sure, although I do know she get's a lot of attention.

 

 

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree:

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Nipple prints in your husband's coats?! Are his coats made of Play Doh? I love that. Husbands can be so very supportive and loving.

Normally, he's great. He doesn't like me stealing his clothes though, because there are some of his shirts that have...errr...stretched.

What is it with men's shirts fitting better than women's shirts? You really should take your coats to a tailor. I mean, you could probably only buy 2 every 4 years or so (I go about 7 years, usually). It would be so worth it for them to fit properly.

I have no idea. Apparently Manmaries are ok, and expected. Womens clothing seems to be made by people who insist a woman wearing a size 16 shirt should have a prepubescent male's chest. Seriously, if I'm wearing a size 16, 18 top, chances are, I HAVE BOOBS.

 

I've told my dh and friends, I'm a freakish Barbie doll. My bottom size is a minimum of 2 sizes smaller than my top. I wear a 14 jean, and an 18-20 top, just to fit in Ye Olde Mountain Range.

 

I could spend a small fortune at a tailors...alas, I don't have a fortune, small or otherwise.

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I just have a few thoughts:

 

 

  • Luckily (or unluckily) it seems like the rules of clothing have become way relaxed in the last 50 years. It used to be that women didn't leave the house without the "proper attire." Times have changed, which is good because I would have hated having to get my corset and girdle for a quick trip for a gallon of milk. On the other hand, some have taken this "relaxed rules" idea way overboard and like to wear whatever they want. I'm not just talking about immodest dress (such as too much cleavage or bikinis at the grocery store) but also things such as bra straps under tank tops, low riders with boxers showing (or worse....low riders with cracks showing,) people wearing pajama pants as regular clothes, etc.... Just visit any Walmart and you'll quickly realize that society seems to have lost the concept of "proper attire." I'm not endorsing a return to corsets and girdles, although I do sometimes wish people would rethink their wardrobe choices. I know I sound like an old fuddy-duddy, but I just can't appreciate these new trends. I'm all for comfortable clothes, I'm not for public viewing of cracks or underwear. (They're called undergarments for a reason.)

 

 

  • I think most people can tell the difference when a well-endowed women is flaunting it, and when she's trying to wear something modest or even flattering, but seems to have had a wardrobe malfunction.

 

 

  • To a certain point, I think a little bit of cleavage showing is feminine. It can show that I'm a mom, but I didn't leave my womanhood at the maternity ward. I still want to look like a woman and not like I just threw a trash bag over my head and walked out the door. BUT, v-neck t-shirts with a supportive bra are one thing, snug tank tops smothering large, loose, pendulous breasts are another thing alltogether. I don't think anyone wants to see true womanhood THAT much. (although who knows...maybe someone does...I'm learning new things everyday!)

 

 

 

 

Very well stated! It was hard not to just quote your entire post because I agreed with all of it 100%.

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Put this on the "what I hate about clothing manufacturers" list:

 

I hate that they think that if a woman is large chested that she wants to show it off. I cannot for the life of me find a cotton top in large sizes that don't also have extremely low necklines! I CANNOT wear low necklines. As much as others cannot stand necklines near their clavicle, I need my necklines higher...especially since I have spiderwoman veins.

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:w00t:

 

At the grocery store, at church ... and not just a little!!

 

 

:001_huh:

 

I have no idea, but I can tell anyone who does that I am not nearly as impressed with their booKs as they seem to be. If people are showing them because they think they're so wonderful and they just want to share with the whole world, please take note: we really don't want to see them. They're private body parts; please keep them that way :)

 

Now, I have a daughter who is well-endowed. My sister was also VERY well-endowed. They both manage to find shirts that cover what needs to be covered -- and none of their shirts are wrapped around their necks.

 

Let the flames begin....I'm just trying to keep it real and honest.

Edited by DB in NJ
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I have no idea, but I can tell anyone who does that I am not nearly as impressed with your booKs as they seem to be. If people are showing them because they think they're so wonderful and they just want to share with the whole world, please take note: we really don't want to see them. They're private body parts; please keep them that way :)

 

Now, I have a daughter who is well-endowed. My sister was also VERY well-endowed. They both manage to find shirts that cover what needs to be covered -- and none of their shirts are wrapped around their necks.

 

Let the flames begin....I'm just trying to keep it real and honest.

Thank you!

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I have no idea, but I can tell anyone who does that I am not nearly as impressed with your booKs as they seem to be. If people are showing them because they think they're so wonderful and they just want to share with the whole world, please take note: we really don't want to see them. They're private body parts; please keep them that way :)

 

Now, I have a daughter who is well-endowed. My sister was also VERY well-endowed. They both manage to find shirts that cover what needs to be covered -- and none of their shirts are wrapped around their necks.

 

Let the flames begin....I'm just trying to keep it real and honest.

I too have shirts like that, never claimed otherwise. HOWEVER, they are a hard find. When you're the size *I* am, a simple v neck that wouldn't show anything often shows a hint (or a touch more) of cleavage.

 

It also depends on your clothing budget too, I find. Frankly, I can't often afford to be picky, I need a shirt in my budget to replace the one that's developed a hole or stain and desperately needs to be turned into a rag.

 

I rarely clothes shop because of my BooKs. I feel like a fat pig, frankly. I can't wear dresses (with an extremely RARE exception) and guess what? Out of the THREE dresses I own, TWO show cleavage. Not on purpose, as in it wasn't something I set out to find, but do you have any idea how EXCITING it is for me to find a dress that FITS?!

 

Probably not.

 

I won't even get into the $150 price tag on bras to fit me because I have to go to a custom shop. Thank heavens for ebay is all I can say. I often get the wrong band size, simply because the cup is right, and well, I can always tighten the band. There simply isn't a lot of women who have my cup size, yet have the relatively small band size I do.

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I just have a few thoughts:

 

 

  • Luckily (or unluckily) it seems like the rules of clothing have become way relaxed in the last 50 years. It used to be that women didn't leave the house without the "proper attire." Times have changed, which is good because I would have hated having to get my corset and girdle for a quick trip for a gallon of milk. On the other hand, some have taken this "relaxed rules" idea way overboard and like to wear whatever they want. I'm not just talking about immodest dress (such as too much cleavage or bikinis at the grocery store) but also things such as bra straps under tank tops, low riders with boxers showing (or worse....low riders with cracks showing,) people wearing pajama pants as regular clothes, etc.... Just visit any Walmart and you'll quickly realize that society seems to have lost the concept of "proper attire." I'm not endorsing a return to corsets and girdles, although I do sometimes wish people would rethink their wardrobe choices. I know I sound like an old fuddy-duddy, but I just can't appreciate these new trends. I'm all for comfortable clothes, I'm not for public viewing of cracks or underwear. (They're called undergarments for a reason.)

 

I hate people who are wearing pajamas in the store unless it's the middle of the night and they are clearly sick or something (I really, really, really hate this). I hate bra straps showing under tank tops (they make strapless bras, ladies!). I also hate women who insist on wearing white bras under white tops instead of flesh colored bras. My grandmother taught me this was *wrong* She also showed a modest amount of cleavage and even had fake booKs. Oh, yes, she did.

 

BUT, I am also aware that it's *my* problem, not *their* problem. Not a symptom of all the ills of society, just a difference in how I was taught to dress.

 

Now, there are lines I think should not be crossed. For example, an African-American female (both facts are important in this story) solider who worked for my husband once showed up for a ball in a white, *unlined* dress with ZERO underwear. It was obvious, *really* obvious. Umm...yeah...when I can see *everything*, that is a problem, especially in a formal setting.

 

The real trouble with these sorts of legalistic, judgy threads is that we're never on the same page. Cleavage and bikinis and such have a *wide* range of coverage (or lack thereof). After my mom visited and I told her about the discussion here, she insisted my swimsuit didn't even show enough to count as a bikini, especially given some of the swimsuits we regularly see on the beach. ;)

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I hate people who are wearing pajamas in the store unless it's the middle of the night and they are clearly sick or something (I really, really, really hate this). I hate bra straps showing under tank tops (they make strapless bras, ladies!). I also hate women who insist on wearing white bras under white tops instead of flesh colored bras. My grandmother taught me this was *wrong* She also showed a modest amount of cleavage and even had fake booKs. Oh, yes, she did.

 

BUT, I am also aware that it's *my* problem, not *their* problem. Not a symptom of all the ills of society, just a difference in how I was taught to dress.

 

Now, there are lines I think should not be crossed. For example, an African-American female (both facts are important in this story) solider who worked for my husband once showed up for a ball in a white, *unlined* dress with ZERO underwear. It was obvious, *really* obvious. Umm...yeah...when I can see *everything*, that is a problem, especially in a formal setting.

 

The real trouble with these sorts of legalistic, judgy threads is that we're never on the same page. Cleavage and bikinis and such have a *wide* range of coverage (or lack thereof). After my mom visited and I told her about the discussion here, she insisted my swimsuit didn't even show enough to count as a bikini, especially given some of the swimsuits we regularly see on the beach. ;)

Heck, I don't even have a white bra right now. Flesh toned?

 

I was criticized before because my bustier (sorry, but there are NOT any strapless bras in my size...I've looked!) made my BooKs look pointy. *sigh*

 

Yeah, time to start looking to ebay again.

 

Its interesting, to me, the differences in how people perceive things. I've honestly never heard about not wearing a white bra with a white shirt! :lol:

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Heck, I don't even have a white bra right now. Flesh toned?

 

I was criticized before because my bustier (sorry, but there are NOT any strapless bras in my size...I've looked!) made my BooKs look pointy. *sigh*

 

Yeah, time to start looking to ebay again.

 

Its interesting, to me, the differences in how people perceive things. I've honestly never heard about not wearing a white bra with a white shirt! :lol:

 

But even if you have to go with a long-lined bra, I would do that before I showed my bra straps. BUT, again, I admit that it is *my* problem, it's not your problem. Heck, the woman sitting in front of me at church this morning was wearing a flesh colored bra but the strap was hanging down her arm the entire service. She came in late and was sitting 2 rows ahead of me or I would have alerted her. It set of my pet peeve meter but I'm not sitting here thinking she's immodest, wasn't raised right or is a shameless hussy or something, I think that's the difference in how some of the posts come across, kwim?

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:w00t:

 

At the grocery store, at church ... and not just a little!!

 

 

:001_huh:

 

Ummmmmmm. W/o reading 15 pages of replies, I have to quickly say.....attention??? Look at me???

 

To me, it says, I have books and that is what makes me..well, me. My worth depends on my bosoms. I am not intelligent enough to get your attention through conversation so just look at my boobs.

 

How sad.

 

Am I off base?

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BUT, I am also aware that it's *my* problem, not *their* problem. Not a symptom of all the ills of society, just a difference in how I was taught to dress.

 

Now, there are lines I think should not be crossed. For example, an African-American female (both facts are important in this story) solider who worked for my husband once showed up for a ball in a white, *unlined* dress with ZERO underwear. It was obvious, *really* obvious. Umm...yeah...when I can see *everything*, that is a problem, especially in a formal setting.

 

The real trouble with these sorts of legalistic, judgy threads is that we're never on the same page. Cleavage and bikinis and such have a *wide* range of coverage (or lack thereof). After my mom visited and I told her about the discussion here, she insisted my swimsuit didn't even show enough to count as a bikini, especially given some of the swimsuits we regularly see on the beach. ;)

 

I think we're on the same page with this. My opinion won't change what anyone is wearing. Besides, I'm usually several seasons behind the trends so I'm sure lots of people have plenty to say about what I'm wearing.

 

My point was, does the purposefully "offensive wearer" (for lack of a better term) mind that other people might be commenting on their attire? For example, the woman in the white dress at the ball...I'm sure you weren't the only one who noticed that she forgot an important foundational piece. I think there's certainly a difference between "I don't like pajamas as daily wear" and no panties under a white dress. Usually it's fairly obvious when a line has been crossed because many people seem to notice. Did she mind that many were talking about her? (and possibly judging her?) If not, well...then ok. Good for her--her self-esteem must be pretty high. BUT, if she had a fit because everyone was commenting on her wardrobe...well, that's too bad. She should have worn some panties!

 

(This always seems to happen at Balls, by the way....there's always that one spouse who seem to go a little too low or too tight or too high cut.)

 

I also had no idea about the flesh colored bra under white shirt rule. Have I been immodest this whole time! (gasp!) ;):lol: I'm off to buy some flesh colored bras before I become the talk of the town.

 

(see...I learn new things all the time!)

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Ummmmmmm. W/o reading 15 pages of replies, I have to quickly say.....attention??? Look at me???

 

To me, it says, I have books and that is what makes me..well, me. My worth depends on my bosoms. I am not intelligent enough to get your attention through conversation so just look at my boobs.

 

How sad.

 

Am I off base?

 

For me, yes, you would be.

 

The problem (one of them) with this thread is that it assumes each woman who does not agree with a particular style of conservative feels, acts and is motivated by the same situations.

 

More than one posters assumes that not only do I show it to be noticed, I get upset when I *am* noticed.

 

More than one poster, like the quote, assumes I do not think of myself as worthy beyond my books and that I do not have a vocabulary.

 

Where is the logic and critical thinking? Truly, you can't make character, intelligent, spiritual or esteem assumptions about women who show cleavage OR those who post against it.

 

I am clearly well spoken, have worth that goes beyond my boobs. I don't mind a glance from another man or a comment on my looks.

 

Are we really going to reduce moms here (or elsewhere) to stupid, vain, vapid whores simply because they dress provocatively and you don't? Really?

Edited by Joanne
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For me, yes, you would be.

 

The problem (one of them) with this thread is that it assumes each woman who does not agree with a particular style of conservative feels, acts and is motivated by the same situations.

 

More than one posters assumes that not only do I show it to be noticed, I get upset when I *am* noticed.

 

More than one poster, like the quote, assumes I do not think of myself as worthy beyond my books and that I do not have a vocabulary.

 

Where is the logic and critical thinking? Truly, you can't make character, intelligent, spiritual or esteem assumptions about women who show cleavage OR those who post against it.

 

I am clearly well spoken, have worth that goes beyond my boobs. I don't mind a glance from another man or a comment on my looks.

 

Are we really going to reduce moms here (or elsewhere) to stupid, vain, vapid whores simply because they dress provocatively and you don't? Really?

 

:iagree:Awesomely said! My cleavage thanks you ;)

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I beg you to give me one reason why showing cleavage would be a positive? Yes, Really.

 

There is no point. I don't hold as a value *not* showing cleavage. I'm not asking you to agree. I'm asking you to consider suspending inaccurate assumptions and judgements as to intelligence and character of the women who don't share your perspective on the issue.

 

Different does not equal wrong.

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You could try reading the 15 pages of posts. Lots of people (myself included) answered this question.

 

Well,

 

I guess if I had no life and an extra 20 minutes I could, but at the moment my kids are more important so I guess I will choose to go take care of them instead of reading 15 pages of nonsense about cleavage.

 

To me, showing 1/2 your boobs means that attention is wanted and not for the right reasons.

 

Or am I missing some liberal womens rights lib crap in all of this?

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Many women have breasts that look even larger in a turtleneck. Some have sizes of breasts that show cleavage in a normal v neck shirt that would not show on the majority of women. Some look fine in the mirror before they leave the house and are shocked to notice when their shirts have lost buttons or shifted while they are out. I hope that helps.

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