we can't get past bed-wetting with our 4.5yo... any advice?

[Karen in SC]

Went through this with our now-teenagers, but that was soooo long ago. We have two (adopted) 4 and 4.5 year olds, and the girl (4) hasn't wet the bed for over a year. Our 4.5 yo was doing fine, but has back-slid and frequently wets the bed TWICE in one night! ARGH!

 

Please remind me that this is okay, and will end. I appreciate any advice. We limit drinks after 7:30pm, and take him to the potty before we go to bed around 11pm (at which point he's frequently already wet the bed!).

 

HELP!

[snickelfritz]

We tried 2 weeks in panties. Limited drinks, etc... She WANTS to wear panties. She was waking up soaked and upset. It was easier on all of us to just put her back in pull-ups. Every few months, we do a trial run to see if "her tummy is big enough." So, far....we always end up back in pull-ups.

 

ETA: Her ped last year at 4, was unconcerned. I'll mention it at 5, but I'm not sure that I want to try medication or anything. Maybe if it's bothering her.

[StacyWithFourRugrats]

but I just want to commiserate with you. We have a 6 yo ds who still wets his bed at night (and can not go #2 on his own) and a 4.5 yo dd who still wets her bed at night and has constant accidents during the day. I would *LOVE* to be out of this stage but figure it will come one day. Our dd really wants to be out of pull-ups at night but she is just not ready. Our 6 yo ds could care less (we tried recently to go to no pull-ups at night but he wet his bed almost every night).

 

I just keep telling myself "And this too shall pass...."

[WTMindy]

Our 9yo is still wet about half the time (which is a huge improvement since about 6 months ago, it was every night!). He chooses whether he wants to wear a pull-up or not, knowing that he has to wash the sheets if they are wet. I don't pay much attention to how often he is wearing a pull-up, but I have just decided not to worry about it at all. I know this is a developmental thing that he will outgrow at some point. He doesn't really spend the night anywhere other than grandma's house so it doesn't seem to bother him.

[8filltheheart]

I wouldn't worry about it at 4.5. I would simply purchase pull-ups for night.

 

We have had one child that was still having nightly accidents at 10. It is a hormonal issue. Not how much they drink, etc. Our ped said not to worry about it b/c eventually her body would start producing the hormone. We couldn't simply ignore it b/c it was impacting her self-image. We did have a prescription that if she took it she wouldn't wet (it was the hormone that her body wasn't naturally producing) so if she went somewhere she took it.

 

We ended up purchasing a bed-wetting alarm. Within 2 weeks all accidents stopped and she started waking up on her own to go to the bathroom. I wish we had gone that route when she was 5 or 6 instead of listening to our ped as long as we did. I'm not sure I would try it with a 4.5 yr old simply b/c I am not sure the maturity is there to really deal with the issue....it will end up being you.

[Mrs. H.]

We have a 7yr. old that still wets the bed frequently. I notice that he stops for about two weeks whenever he has a growth spurt, but then starts again. My mil told me once that she wet the bed until she was about 12, and my nephew (on dh's side) wet the bed until he was about 9, so I'm assuming that this is something ds will grow out of. He brings his sheets down every morning for washing, and we don't worry about it. We don't do pull-ups because ds doesn't want to, and he has younger brothers that don't wet the bed (5 & 4) so we don't want it to become an issue. We do have a waterproof mattress cover on the bed.

 

If pull-ups don't upset your dc, then I would go that route and not worry about the bed-wetting until he is much older. We also only put a fitted sheet and a fleece blanket on ds's bed, instead of extra sheets and comforters to deal with.

[Ellie]

when our dd became discouraged herself because she couldn't stay dry but a friend's 3yo dd could. Ten days on the first script, cut that in half and 10 more days, cut *that* in half and 10 more. She was never wet again.

[my2kidsmom]

We did all the behavior mod stuff and it just didn't work. DD was getting ready to turn 8 and I took her to the doc. I had asked at 5 and 6 and was told to just wait it out. My back was killing me from pulling her out of bed each night. She was a very heavy sleeper. We put her on DDAVP, the nasel spray, for about 3 months and she hasn't wet the bed since. We started with the one squirt per nostrel and then at two months cut back to one squirt and alternated nostrels each night.

 

I really would just wait it out for a while longer though. You child is still pretty young.

[Valerie in Chicago]

4.5 yo DD is still using pull-ups at night. She wakes up dry about half the time. I figure that when she wakes up dry 7 mornings in a row that we'll start trying to go without them. Our ped is unconcerned about it until about 6yo.

[Basketmaker Amy]

Look at http://www.hargitthousefoundation.com. The program was given to my son by my parents when he was 9 and still wetting. It requires a lot of discipline on the types of food the child can have, but after about 6 weeks, he was completely dry....and hasn't had a problem since! (Praise the Lord). I learned that bedwetting is really more of a sleeping disorder. My son REALLY sleeps hard and wasn't waking himself up to go. The food choices also factor into the equation. (Now he doesn't have to watch what he eats.)

[beansprouts]

I didn't know a 4 year old was expected to be dry at night. Right now ds4 is in pullups at night, and I have no plans to push it. He day-trained himself at 3, he knows what he is doing.

[Karen sn]

Finally - at 8.5 yo - my dd no longer needed "Goodnites" (pull ups). We eliminated peanut butter. JennifersLost (Good Witch of the West) told me about Dr. Doris Rapp and her theory on food allergens. We tried it and it worked immediately. She is now 10.5 and has only wet the bed 2 times...early on when she ate peanut butter crackers. Needless to say - now she will not even eat one Reese's Pieces.

[Plucky]

Yes, used pullupps. My youngest boy wet the bed until somewhere around 7. Eventually, he was just able to wake up and go. It took that long and was well within the normal range for this.

[momo4]

2 of our ds were not dry until after 7yo. Another was dry all night at 2. We tried the book Dry All Night around 6 or 7 yrs and that helped a little. I say use pull ups and great bed pads until they are dry. It just happens later for some. I asked here many years back and everyone said not to worry until about 9yrs. That was good advice.

[Plucky]

Yes, I remember worrying, too. I only had one bedwetter so it didn't seem normal, but it is.

[frogpond1]

Mindy, my 9 year old is still wetting the bed. Do you ever panic? My other 3 don't have this problem. I feel a lot of anquish over all the wet sheets every night.

[WTMindy]

Mindy, my 9 year old is still wetting the bed. Do you ever panic? My other 3 don't have this problem. I feel a lot of anquish over all the wet sheets every night.

You know, I am not panicking about it. I figure it will happen at some point. And, I've tried a couple food things and it doesn't seem to make a difference. I really don't want to do an alarm or meds and besides the expense of pull-ups, there doesn't seem to be a big dis-advantage to waiting. It doesn't seem to bother him. He re-uses the pull-ups if they are dry. He seems to be doing better this year.

[Jenstet]

I saw someone mention it but my friend had this problem with one of her children and she bought a bed wetting alarm too and it worked.

[Storm Bay]

Oh, gosh, that's fine! Wetting at night vs being dry is usually simply developmental. I had an aunt who did this until 14. My mother, who heard the fights between her and my grandmother swore she'd never make a big deal out of it. None of us were like that. But my ds was 7 when he stopped, and I have a brother who was 10 (adopted, so not connected genetically to my aunt, fwiw). Plus I had a friend who wore diapers in Kindergarten (before pull ups).

 

That said, I'd avoid drinks too close to bedtime, eating before bed. Also, my parents used to get all of us up right before they went to bed (we usually slept right through it.)

[Michelle T]

We used Good Nites. Pediatrician was not concerned because DH had wet the bed until he was almost ELEVEN! I guess it can run in families.

 

Anyway, neither of them wet the bed now, so it did get better on its own. If DS had continued until ten, I would have probably tried some sort of treatment though.

 

But no way would I be worried at four. Heck, DS was 100% still wearing diapers at four! :eek:

Michelle T

[Lorna in the boonies]

My youngest will be 7 in July and we just bought another package of Pull-Ups this afternoon. She wets the bed probably about 90% of the time.

 

She's the only bedwetter I've ever had, so it's kind of strange to me. I just keep buying the Pull-Ups and figure she'll outgrow it eventually.

 

It's just now starting to bother and embarrass her.

[Laura Corin]

I'd relax and use pull ups. One of mine didn't stop wetting the bed until he was six - it runs in our family, so maybe it does in your child's too.

 

Best wishes

 

Laura

[HiddenJewel]

For dh it was a developmental thing that was cured with time.

 

One thing that I have heard to can cause nighttime wetting is milk.

[Amy in Orlando]

Maybe try eliminating peanut butter and milk. Beyond that, 4.5 is really, really young. Cover the matress, get the pull ups and relax for at least another year. At least.

[Emmy]

What is the connection between peanut butter & milk and bed wetting? Just curious...

[Donna]

They told me the number of children who wet the bed at night and that it decreases year by year without any intervention...not very helpful to my child who still does it at 10yo. The things that have been suggested to us over the years, though 4 is still young and I wouldn't worry about it at this point (Pull-Ups work well)...

 

1. Limit fluid intake 2 hours prior to bedtime as well as food intake.

2. Exercise

3. Drink more during the day and void every 2 hours during the day.

4. Make sure bladder is emptied every time they void.

5. Kegel exercises.

6. Send child to bed then wake right before they have fallen asleep to void again so they go twice before they fall asleep.

 

 

My son is an extremely heavy sleeper and we have been setting an alarm and waking him every night at 2am to go. It has been working to keep him dry for the last month but he still is not independent in keeping dry or waking himself. The other suggestion was the alarm that goes off when he is voiding in his bed. We had limited success with this though it is what the MD said works best though it takes a very long time and for the first 2-3 months does not wake the child but wakes the parents who must then wake the child.

 

Good Luck.

[Storm Bay]

When it comes to foods, there are others besides peanut butter and milk. I once did a temp job for some Canadian fellow whose computer had crashed. I met one mother with a son who only wet the bed when he ate tomatoes whether cooked or raw.

 

But honestly, it's so challenging to start going on a restricted diet route that I would not try all this with a 4.5 yo. Bedwetting does not have one hard and fast cause. As some mentioned, it takes time for that hormone to kick in, and that varies. I wouldn't worry about foods, etc before about age 6 or 7. If it runs in your family for later, I'd wait longer unless there's a real need for you child to sleep somewhere else and you don't have medication or something.

 

As for those machines, my parents used some kind of machine with my brother when he was 10. Apparently it took exactly one night. But it was different than the ones they have now because this was in the mid 1970s.

[jail warden]

We would take him potty for every hour after supper, but before bed. And that's when it finally stopped. He could hold so much pee that it didn't seem like he should need to pee at night. But I think he held it forever because he didn't want to take the time to go potty, so when he finally went, the bladder didn't completely empty because of how full it was.

 

Part of the problem may be that you are waking him and he's not completely awake when you take him. In his grogginess he thinks he's still sleeping, therefore he's going potty in his sleep and doesn't differentiate between bed and bathroom. Does that make sense?