Would anyone be willing to read my daughter's biography of Newton?

[Heather in VA]

I had my dd (12 yr/7th grade) write this biography of Newton. It wasn't a research project or anything - just a 2 day assignment based on her history reading. The first day she wrote an outline and rough draft then did a final draft on the next day. We are just getting into more formal writing like this and I know we are behind but I'm trying to get a feel for how bad it really is. Would someone be willing to read this and give some feedback? Oh how I long for math - the answers are easy to check :-).

 

Isaac Newton was an influential thinker during the 1600s. He studied the world and discovered things that gave him a respected position in society. Even today people respect him and call him the greatest scientist ever. He was a prodigy and a thinker from a young age until the day he died.

The accomplishments of Newton continue to influence the world today. One of Newton’s greatest achievements was discovering his three laws of motion which are, as follows; If an object is at motion it will stay in motion unless an outside force acts upon it. The acceleration of an object of constant mass if proportional to the force acting upon it. For every action there is always an equal or opposite reaction. More examples of things he did include studying gravity and light. He is also the man responsible for creating calculus.

Isaac Newton was publicly famous even during his life. First, in 1669, he became a professor at Cambridge, were he studied as a child, after his professor retired. Later after retiring from teaching he became a warden at the royal mint and eventually headed the entire mint. He was loved so much that in 1705 Queen Anne knighted him and he became Sir Isaac Newton.

Even with all his achievements, Newton was a religious man and believed in the Jesus. His religion was the base of all his studies although many who respect and honor him will not admit it. One of his favorite pastimes was to analyze the Bible and to do what God said in it. He published a book called a Chronology of Ancient Kingdoms in which he looked to find connections to history in the Bible.

Newton laid the foundation for centuries of scientists after him. Isaac Newton was a man who could easily make friends with those around him and many loved him. He was so accomplished and so loved he was the first scientist to be buried in Westminster Abby. Newton was a great scientist and an even greater man.

[Michelle in MO]

I had my dd (12 yr/7th grade) write this biography of Newton. It wasn't a research project or anything - just a 2 day assignment based on her history reading. The first day she wrote an outline and rough draft then did a final draft on the next day. We are just getting into more formal writing like this and I know we are behind but I'm trying to get a feel for how bad it really is. Would someone be willing to read this and give some feedback? Oh how I long for math - the answers are easy to check :-).

 

Isaac Newton was an influential thinker during the 1600s. He studied the world and discovered things that gave him a respected position in society. Even today people respect him and call him the greatest scientist ever. He was a prodigy and a thinker from a young age until the day he died.

The accomplishments of Newton continue to influence the world today. One of Newton’s greatest achievements was discovering his three laws of motion which are, as follows; If an object is at motion it will stay in motion unless an outside force acts upon it. The acceleration of an object of constant mass if proportional to the force acting upon it. For every action there is always an equal or opposite reaction. More examples of things he did include studying gravity and light. He is also the man responsible for creating calculus.

Isaac Newton was publicly famous even during his life. First, in 1669, he became a professor at Cambridge, were he studied as a child, after his professor retired. Later after retiring from teaching he became a warden at the royal mint and eventually headed the entire mint. He was loved so much that in 1705 Queen Anne knighted him and he became Sir Isaac Newton.

Even with all his achievements, Newton was a religious man and believed in the Jesus. His religion was the base of all his studies although many who respect and honor him will not admit it. One of his favorite pastimes was to analyze the Bible and to do what God said in it. He published a book called a Chronology of Ancient Kingdoms in which he looked to find connections to history in the Bible.

Newton laid the foundation for centuries of scientists after him. Isaac Newton was a man who could easily make friends with those around him and many loved him. He was so accomplished and so loved he was the first scientist to be buried in Westminster Abby. Newton was a great scientist and an even greater man.

 

I think this is a very good essay for a 12-year-old! Aside from a few minor grammatical errors, she did a very good job. Isaac Newton was a genius, and her enthusiasm for the topic shines through what she wrote!

 

Thank you for sharing! This is a good idea---to share our children's writings with each other from time to time.

 

Blessings,

[Heather in VA]

I think this is a very good essay for a 12-year-old! Aside from a few minor grammatical errors, she did a very good job. Isaac Newton was a genius, and her enthusiasm for the topic shines through what she wrote!

 

Thank you for sharing! This is a good idea---to share our children's writings with each other from time to time.

 

Blessings,

 

Thanks - it's so hard to know what's appropriate for each age. We are working on the grammatical errors. She knows them but isn't that great at the editing part. Frankly, she's lazy about editing but she will be finding out soon that lazy editing is not a wise idea - at least not around me :-).

 

I would love to have people share their writings. I think it would be helpful for people to be able to not only judge the writing, but to keep the expectations age-appropriate. The later is very difficult for me.

[Michelle in MO]

is that I really have a hard time understanding what is age-appropriate, which goes back to the question I posed last week about the worthwhileness (word choice?) of a parent having a teaching degree for homeschooling. I feel I lack an understanding of what I should be expecting for writing. With my older two girls, I've started to farm out their writing, which helps quite a bit, but I still have a lot of uncertainty in this area.

 

Writing is so subjective, but it really takes quite a bit of skill for a child to 1) read the subject matter at hand; 2) process or "digest" that material; and 3) put it into words. Not easy!

 

Thanks for sharing your daughter's work!

[LisaNY]

I agree with Michelle. Your dd did a really nice job! :001_smile: