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Is anybody else dreading starting school with just the remaining children?...


Nan in Mass
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I only have one left and I'm dreading doing school without his older brother, the middle one who is a freshman now. I know it is going to emphasize his absense. I've been procrastinating even thinking about it. And I thought I had gotten used to the oldest of the three being gone last year, at least I was by spring, but now after the closeness of packing him up and getting him settled, I find I hurt over him, too, all over again. Ug. I hate this.

 

-Nan

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just the remaining brother and me. This morning, he wandered around the house muttering how it just wasn't right starting school without the older one. Sigh. Add to that the fact that he's in 8th grade this year and having to do slightly harder work...

 

I think we are all missing the older one, but school starting just reminded us of his absence even more. I suppose we'll muddle through. Luckily, he saw his neighborhood friends outside (ps hasn't started yet), and he went out to blow off some steam this afternoon.

 

It will definitely take some time getting used to the new normal.

 

Brenda

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Dear Nan and Brenda,

 

Hugs to you both. I don't know what I'll do in a year's time when my one and only will be gone. Posts like yours have me weeping already.

 

Looks like I'll have no other option than a grand tour to visit my WTM sisters for commiseration!

 

:grouphug:

Jane

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Nan and Brenda,

 

My heart goes out to both of you. I remember how tough it was when my older child went off four Septembers ago. It felt like it left a big hole here for the rest of us.

 

Jane,

 

I'm not looking forward to next year when I lose my last one either! We'll definitely have to stick around here for moral support.

 

~Kathy

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Hello Nan,

 

I hope you and your one remaining have some special times this year. My one and only drove off this morning for his first day of classes at CC. He's living at home and will be commuting, but all the same I'm looking around wondering where to start on the list of projects I've been saving for this day. Since I can't decide maybe I'll dig out the mop bucket.

 

Hugs to you, and to Jane and Brenda too!

Martha

 

PS Should have said for his first day as a full-time student at the regular campus.

Edited by Martha in NM
clarity
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This week I am madly juggling visiting with my older two college kids while homeschooling my younger two. I am not doing any of their home-based subjects, but all of their "outsourced" classes have started.

 

Meshing the beginning of school with spending time with my older two (one of whom only arrived home from her summer internship last weekend) is a HUGE challenge. I'm not doing it well.

 

We drop the older two off at college on Sunday or Monday. Then we do school and wish the house were less empty.

 

I am ready for the school year to start in earnest, though.

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I can see how one gets split between children when some of them are off elsewhere periodically. I wonder when my youngest will get priority? When he was a baby, he did, obviously, but he needs that sort of continuous attention now (high school) and I can see myself dropping him to take care of the older ones who are needing me from afar or only here for a little bit. I've already messed up the first math class with a phone call from his brother. This is going to be interesting. I'm not looking forward to the school year for other reasons, as well, like worrying over whether I can teach this one (academics come more easily to him than to his brother), keep up with him, challenge him, make the right decisions about balancing academic learning and non-academic learning... And it is just plain hard work and I am feeling lazy, tired, and distracted. You seem to manage that well. Oh well. It will work out somehow, I suppose.

-Nan

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And it is just plain hard work and I am feeling lazy, tired, and distracted. You seem to manage that well. Oh well. It will work out somehow, I suppose.

-Nan

 

Nan,

 

I'm right there with you. My oldest is in his first week of classes and has called home A LOT looking for reassurance. He seems to be doing OK in general, but he's very stressed and anxious. I think he will eventually settle in, but his stresses are definitely my stresses at this point.

 

The younger one seems to be settling in to his work too, but as you said, I don't feel like I'm giving him my whole attention. I've also been distracted by a house painting project that we didn't finish over the summer.

 

So there -- encouragement from another muddler!

 

Brenda

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I don't think I will. I had only two at home for over 2 1/2 years and now my oldest is back home going to a local college. He will be gone either when we move again, or after he graduates, then we will have two for a short while , then my middle will leave and I will have one. Since she is the only one I have been mostly homeschooling for the last two years, it won't be a change in my homeschooling. It won't even be much quieter since she is my only extrovert. In fact, I bet it will be noisier since she will be feeling more free to have more friends over when her introverted and unsocial siblings leave. I have six years to go and am not minding the process. I have so much I want to do when they are gone. No, I am not trying to get rid of them but I do think that by thinking about future plans, I am able to succesfully transition into a new life.

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We're not there yet; this is my eldest's senior year. But, my younger is already in mourning over her sister's departure next year.

 

I am starting to be asked what's next for me. I'm asking that, too. I have 3 more years then I'm out of this job.

 

I keep reminding myself that change is natural and necessary.

 

~Moira

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I find myself REALLY missing him at times, but I'm dealing with it better than I did this time last year. You know, I've finally realized that what I've really been grieving for all along isn't the ER of today, but the ER of yesterday -- when he was a little boy who loved to jump on the trampoline and ride his bike and play with his trains... THAT'S what's so hard to let go of...

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Dear Nan and Brenda,

 

Hugs to you both. I don't know what I'll do in a year's time when my one and only will be gone. Posts like yours have me weeping already.

 

Looks like I'll have no other option than a grand tour to visit my WTM sisters for commiseration!

 

:grouphug:

Jane

 

You can come visit me and tell my dd about all the birds you help!

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My oldest graduated and is taking a gap year. He's now 6000 miles away and we won't see him until June 2010. My next one is a real go-getter, a senior this year, who is taking community college courses and works a lot. We rarely see her. That leaves my 13yo and me at home.

 

What we have done - started attending more of our old group's park days, signed him up for some classes with kids of similar ages, done more field trips and called friends to go with us. It will take time but we are adjusting.

 

But I miss the old days.

 

Ruth in NC

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