Bonnie in VA Posted March 11, 2008 Posted March 11, 2008 DD7 has been invited to be a flower girl (the original flower girl has become unavailable). The bride's family says they would like to pay for her dress; it will be a special order item with fittings and perhaps alterations.) Should we offer to pay for all or part of the dress? the alterations, if needed? What is the right / polite thing to do? Bonnie Quote
Guest Lorna Posted March 11, 2008 Posted March 11, 2008 We paid for all the bridesmaid's dresses and the flower girl. It is quite normal I think. We even bought the pairs of tights etc. Dh actually bought them. He bought two pairs of medium and one pair of extra large. You should have seen the look on the cashier's face! Our flower girl's dress was specially made and she was lovely. She is now all grown up and studying fashion. Quote
gandpsmommy Posted March 11, 2008 Posted March 11, 2008 We paid for all the dresses for the attendants and flower girls in our wedding. We even paid for their shoes and accessories. I would graciously accept their offer. Quote
Guest Virginia Dawn Posted March 11, 2008 Posted March 11, 2008 A different perspective: We would have paid for the flower girl's (my niece) dress and paraphenalia for my dd's wedding, but my brother insisted on paying for it all himself. Frankly, it was a great relief. If it was me, I would consider the family's circumstances. Are they a one income family? Do they appear financially conservative? (i.e. careful with money out of necessity) Is it a small wedding? Those would be signs to me that it would be very helpful to offer to pay for the dress myself. Quote
Bonnie in VA Posted March 11, 2008 Author Posted March 11, 2008 It is a big wedding, and no I don't think money is an issue for them (it's probably more of an issue for us, to be honest). Based on all of the responses, I think we will graciously accept their offer. Thanks everyone! Bonnie Quote
Aubrey Posted March 11, 2008 Posted March 11, 2008 It is a big wedding, and no I don't think money is an issue for them (it's probably more of an issue for us, to be honest). Based on all of the responses, I think we will graciously accept their offer. Thanks everyone! Bonnie One more thing--the kind of dress the bride has chosen seems to me to play into the decision. I assume she chose the special-order-lots-of-alterations dress? I think all the advice given here is still completely valid & good, but as a bride, I would *never* have chosen a dress like that, because we *couldn't* afford it--how could we ask another family to pay for it? (Not that I think there's anything at all wrong w/ her choice, just that I think that, if nothing else, justifies her offer & your acceptance.) Have fun and take lots of pics! I made dd4's dress (2 at the time) for my sister's wedding & took her & ds to a park to get even better pics than the ones from the wedding. (They're on my blog WAY at the bottom, if you're interested--like one of the first posts.) Quote
Nestof3 Posted March 11, 2008 Posted March 11, 2008 I would say if you love the dress and think your daughter will wear it again, offer to pay some, but really overall, they invited your daughter and traditionally they should pay for it. Quote
lynn Posted March 11, 2008 Posted March 11, 2008 Oh, man, I had to pay for all my own bridesmaid dresses and accessories to be in friends weddings:cool: I didn't know the bride was to pay for these. My sister did pay for my sons tuxedos at $140 each because she wanted the $140 ones instead of the $90 ones and really wanted the boys in the wedding. Quote
Ellie Posted March 11, 2008 Posted March 11, 2008 The right thing to do is let the bride's family pay for the whole shootin' match. Quote
Aubrey Posted March 11, 2008 Posted March 11, 2008 Oh, man, I had to pay for all my own bridesmaid dresses and accessories to be in friends weddings:cool: I didn't know the bride was to pay for these. My sister did pay for my sons tuxedos at $140 each because she wanted the $140 ones instead of the $90 ones and really wanted the boys in the wedding. I think flower girl dresses are different. I've heard that bridesmaids are supposed to pay for their own dresses. Of course, I think there are exceptions to any rule. Two of my bridesmaids were on their way to the mission field when I got married. My mom made the dresses anyway. Quote
Brenda in FL Posted March 11, 2008 Posted March 11, 2008 Oh, man, I had to pay for all my own bridesmaid dresses and accessories to be in friends weddings:cool: I didn't know the bride was to pay for these. My sister did pay for my sons tuxedos at $140 each because she wanted the $140 ones instead of the $90 ones and really wanted the boys in the wedding. Yes, this has been my experience as well and a quick google search shows that this is still the proper ettiquite - even for flower girl dresses. However, I think it is absolutley the bride's choice to pay for any of those expenses if she wishes. (I did for some of my bridesmaids that I knew it would be a burden to have to pay certain expenses). I would say to the original poster, absolutely accept their offer, especially if it causes a hardship for you, and you know that it isn't for them. Quote
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