Moms complaining about back to school - do you have to bite your tongue?

[Hoggirl]

Do ya'll secretly laugh when your friends start complaining about back to school? About having three kids in three schools that start at different times? And then once school is really going, griping about teachers, schedules, homework, science projects, bad influences, etc.?

 

I wish I had more nerve so I could just say, "Well, you could always HOME SCHOOL them!" :D

[Carol in Cal.]

I always feel so badly when a mom says that she can't wait to get rid of her children. It's really very sad.

[Crissy]

What is worse is when they are so HAPPY about back to school

 

I'm happy about back-to-school.

Summer is so hectic around here (partly because or small business is incredibly busy in July and August) that I can't wait for mid-September.

This year my older son is off to high school and it will be just my 10 year old and me at home. I am really looking forward to the quiet days and our familiar routine.

I do still like the 15 year old. ;)

[adams101]

Someone did that to my SIL. She posted on her Facebook how frustrating it was trying to get clothes, etc. Someone told her she could homeschool. DH and I laughed because we know there is no way she could do that right now! (if ever)

[Georgiana Daniels]

I always feel so badly when a mom says that she can't wait to get rid of her children. It's really very sad.

 

One of the moms I know said that she was throwing a martini party the day her youngest started k (which was last week.) Then she must have seen the looks on our faces and added, "It's not like I don't love her."

 

:glare:

 

I understand that different families have different situations, but c'mon! What if the kids actually heard?

[DawnM]

Our local Moms group is having a "cry in your coffee day" to get together and feel bad that their little ones are off to school all day.

 

I feel like showing up WITH my school aged children.....;)

 

I did really like that commercial Stapes had on for several years with the Dad dancing down the isles buying school supplies while the kids mope and the song, "It's the most wonderful time of the year" playing in the background! :D

 

 

 

Dawn

[Brindee]

I'm happy about back-to-school.

Summer is so hectic around here (partly because or small business is incredibly busy in July and August) that I can't wait for mid-September.

This year my older son is off to high school and it will be just my 10 year old and me at home. I am really looking forward to the quiet days and our familiar routine.

I do still like the 15 year old. ;)

 

I always feel so badly when a mom says that she can't wait to get rid of her children. It's really very sad.

I agree with both of you! :001_smile: In the sense that Carol meant it---where they can hardly wait to get rid of their kids so they can do their own thing and be FREE, and jump up and down for joy when the kids climb on the bus the first day of school----that makes me sad! :glare:

 

But I feel the same way about how hectic our summer has been and all the planning for our two boys to head off to school. The oldest is 18 and heading to college. he's fine, and ready, I'll miss him, but I'm ready too! The younger boy is almost 16 and going to a GREAT Christian Boarding school Acadmy (highschool). He's excited to go. They have wonderful opportunities there that he wouldn't get here at home, and it's a beautiful Christian atmosphere. I'm happy to find such a great place, and excited getting ready. But he's a little less mature than some, and has never been away from home more than a couple of weeks before. I'll miss him a lot too! BUT, I will have dd here with me , I'll be able to focus my attention on her needs specifially, which I think she needs this year, especially with math, writing and grammar. She and I have a close relationship. I think this will be a fun year for us to do stuff together (we volunteer at the Humane Society, and have a project for helping other kids that we work on together), so I'm kind of looking forward to the girl time and quieter home, and lower grocery bills, etc.! :D

[dhudson]

I had this happen last week. I was in a group of parents from church and several of them were saying, " I just can't wait to get my kids off to school. It's been really hard to have them home so much. I need my 'me' time." (In the kids hearing no less.) One of them turned to me and asked if I was excited to have the kids back in school and I said, "As a matter of fact, we home school and I love starting school." The room got noticeably quiet so I excused myself to attend to one of my children. I actually thought it was great. I think parents need to think before saying those things in front of their children. If they do in fact feel that way then I think they should at least keep quiet in front of their children for heaven's sake!:confused:

[HRAAB]

What was I listening to the other day where they were playing that Christmas song... the hap, hap, happiest time of the year... can't think of the title right now. Anyway, I'm thinking what in the world - Christmas already, and guess what. It was a commercial about kids going back to school. My 12 yr old dd was quite offended by it!

 

Janet

[Homeschooling6]

Do ya'll secretly laugh when your friends start complaining about back to school? About having three kids in three schools that start at different times? And then once school is really going, griping about teachers, schedules, homework, science projects, bad influences, etc.?

 

I wish I had more nerve so I could just say, "Well, you could always HOME SCHOOL them!" :D

 

I don't say anything. I don't like making people feel uncomfortable.

[Word Nerd]

When I was picking up a few things from the big sales on school supplies, I was so glad that unlike the other moms shopping, I could buy the items that I wanted, not whatever is on the official school supply list!

[camibami]

You can bet that if the stars ever aligned enough for my kids to go to school away all day, I'd be jumping up and down, too!:lol: Imagine everything I could get DONE!! ANd we're in an exciting foreign country- so much to do and see!!!

 

But then I'd for sure be one of those complaining moms who is always crabbing about the teachers, rules, homework, influences, etc. Because school just wouldn't work out here, at all.

 

Still, its my dirty little fantasy- what I would DO with alllll that time alone. (((sigh)))

[SilverMoon]

Yes, I do snicker over it. This year I've been shrugging with a smile, "Huh. Nothing's changed in our world." It derails them long enough to discreetly get the bean dip out.

[Tutor]

I always feel so badly when a mom says that she can't wait to get rid of her children. It's really very sad.

 

This is what I seem to be hearing more often than not. It makes me so sad.

[Pink Fairy]

We've been back to school two days now, and it's really, really, hard work to homeschool 4 kids and take care of a 2yo. There is definitely a part of me that looks longingly out the window at my neighbor walking her 3 kids to the grade school around the corner. The temptation to suggest homeschooling when friends are venting isn't there for me, only because I'd be incredibly annoyed if my venting was met with "you could always put them in public school," kwim?

[Hsmomto4]

I find it very sad when Mom's say they cant wait to send their kids away to school and how they are counting down the days. I just cringe inside especially when it is Christian Moms doing it. I just tell them that I try to follow Deuteronomy 6 as closely as I can and if I sent them away to school I would feel like a failure as a Mom trying to serve Christ.

[i.love.lucy]

One of the moms I know said that she was throwing a martini party the day her youngest started k (which was last week.) Then she must have seen the looks on our faces and added, "It's not like I don't love her."

 

:glare:

 

I understand that different families have different situations, but c'mon! What if the kids actually heard?

 

A friend of mine hosts a Moms and Mimosas party the morning school starts. They all seem to LOVE getting rid of their kids.:confused:

[I talk to the trees]

I always feel so badly when a mom says that she can't wait to get rid of her children. It's really very sad.

 

Me, too! I feel so sorry for the kids who overhear parental conversations of that nature! And I *do* have to bite my tongue to keep from asking, "Well, why on earth did you HAVE the kids in the first place?" :glare: But I move mostly in hs-ing circles, so I don't hear much of this type of thing, thankfully!

 

-Robin

[ChristusG]

Yes, it's the moms who say "I cant wait to send my kids back to school" that make me cringe. My aunt talks about it all the time....she cannot wait for my cousins (who are 9 and 11) to get back to school. I always wonder why people have children if they cannot wait to get rid of them for majority of the day, five days a week?

[Heather in OK]

I always feel so badly when a mom says that she can't wait to get rid of her children. It's really very sad.

 

That. Exactly.

 

And I hate the Staples commercial with the "Most Wonderful Time of the Year" song.

 

.

[FO4UR]

How about ps teachers complaining about going back to school... Poor kids! Not wanted at home and dreaded by the teaher...:glare:

 

Lots of tongue biting here!

[NicksMama-Zack's Mama Too]

We've been back to school two days now, and it's really, really, hard work to homeschool 4 kids and take care of a 2yo. There is definitely a part of me that looks longingly out the window at my neighbor walking her 3 kids to the grade school around the corner. The temptation to suggest homeschooling when friends are venting isn't there for me, only because I'd be incredibly annoyed if my venting was met with "you could always put them in public school," kwim?

 

:iagree:

 

Check back on this board in February - you will see lots of posts about homeschooling moms looking longingly at the yellow school bus...

[Mesa]

Oh yes February... dreaded February.

 

I am feeling left out right now with my "friends". This is when the weird homeschool family starts getting ignored. My friend kept asking me if I'd send my kids this year.

 

I know my kids are missing out on some aspects of public schooling... but they are gaining so much more than they are losing.

 

Yes, the time alone during the day without having to "school" sounds appealing.. I'd love time to properly clean and arrange my house and garage without being interrupted a million times.

I'm sure it would get old quickly though, and I'd miss my kids terribly.

[keptwoman]

You can bet that if the stars ever aligned enough for my kids to go to school away all day, I'd be jumping up and down, too!:lol: Imagine everything I could get DONE!! ANd we're in an exciting foreign country- so much to do and see!!!

 

But then I'd for sure be one of those complaining moms who is always crabbing about the teachers, rules, homework, influences, etc. Because school just wouldn't work out here, at all.

 

Still, its my dirty little fantasy- what I would DO with alllll that time alone. (((sigh)))

Oh me too!! I could learn tennis and golf, drink coffee and do all those lovely crafts I never get time for. I could go to painting and drawing classes. I could go to UNIVERSITY. Oh the options I would have.

 

This is what I seem to be hearing more often than not. It makes me so sad.

It doesn't make me sad. I don't think there are many people who say that who don't love their kids and enjoy their company. They are just locked into a paradigm that that's what you do with your school aged children. And I don't have a problem with anyone enjoying their spare time, I sure wish I had more of it.

[living_2_learn]

I always feel so badly when a mom says that she can't wait to get rid of her children. It's really very sad.

Awww that is sad to me too. I'm happy to have these years with my kids. My dd is graduating this year, I'm super sad about that :(

[LoriM]

I'm a classroom teacher in a small classical Christian school now, and I have three grades' full of parents who are thrilled for the kids to come back to school. NOT AT ALL because they are ready to be rid of them, but because they delight in the routine of the days, the fact that the kids are busy and learning and producing good fruit, and no more cries of "I'm so bored" in the heat of a summer afternoon. :) I don't mind when one of my parents says that she can't wait for school to start, because we have over 90% parent involvement in volunteering in our school, and I know they are all going to be just about as busy as I am when school starts back, working in our library, and distributing papers from the office, and running our social clubs as parent coordinators, and chaperoning our field trips.

 

My older dd was in PS until 6th grade, and then hsed through high school. Never once did I look forward to the school year for any reason other than loving to meet her new teacher, watch her encounter new information at a new mature level, and make new friends and meet new challenges. School is ever so much better than "bored" summers with too much TV, excessive sleep, and lazy days. (My girls are champion readers, so they did enjoy the "free reading" of summer times, and yet, there are only so many hours a day that a 10 year old will read! LOL!)

 

Anyway, I love fall, and the new school year. I am sorry my summer flew by, but I am THRILLED my students are coming back to me next week. I cannot wait to spend my days with them again.

 

If only I could figure out some way for the math papers to magically grade themselves, and the science lab to get set up for experiments without me every day during my lunch, life would be perfect. :)

 

Lori

[Orthodox6]

No, I do not laugh privately at people with these very real problems. Homeschooling is not the "right fit" for every family, to begin with. Additionally, there are homeschooling families with very similar situations.

 

Currently, I have one homeschooled child, one in a private school (best "fit" for him), and one at community college who does not have any transportation other than what I can give him. This places me in the same boat as the families described in the original post. It is very difficult to manage the driving schedules every day, and to provide dd (the homeschooler) with a full day's work. I also cook three meals per day, because we cannot afford dining out, and because good nutrition is important to me. Time is very, very tight. I can grouse with the best of them.

[Jen in PA]

I'm sure it would get old quickly though, and I'd miss my kids terribly.

 

My cousin, whose kids attend ps, just confessed to me this week that each year she starts missing them dreadfully... around February:D

[OnTheBrink]

That. Exactly.

 

And I hate the Staples commercial with the "Most Wonderful Time of the Year" song.

 

.

 

I like that commercial, because I LOVE buying school supplies and it IS the most wonderful time of the year! I could be that man dancing down the aisles! However, dd would be having just as much fun as I. New pencils, new pens, fresh clean paper!

[Tutor]

They are just locked into a paradigm that that's what you do with your school aged children.

 

I think this is *why* it makes me sad. Many of the people I know send their kids off to school because it is what is expected... get married, have kids, send them to school. There is no conviction or desire behind it. It's just what is done. They do the next thing but never ask why. I would be less sad if the parents I am talking to were excited for their kids' first days of school because they were so passionate about what they were providing for their kids. (And also getting some alone time themselves - which I make no secret of needing often myself.)

 

I guess it is the lack of purposefulness that makes me sad. Maybe you are experiencing different types of parents than I am (if so I am glad), but I can only speak of my experiences here.

[hillfarm]

Yesterday my little homeschooled darling 10yo got to experience a thrill she had long wanted - she got to ride a yellow school bus! We were on our way to a fantastic whitewater rafting trip where she got to study geological formations and basic hydrology.

 

What really got her were the occupant limits posted at the front of the bus. I think it allowed 45 K - 3rd graders, 36 4th - 8th graders, and only maybe 28 9th - 12th graders, with ony 18 available seats and 4 of them having limited leg room due to the wheel wells. She couldn't believe how crowded it would be on a bus with that many kids! She also noticed that there were no seat belts. And asked how a driver could watch the kids in the back seats. Pretty basic issues if noticed so quickly by a 10yo.

 

So anyway, we had a great time, she got to paddle some great whitewater, we had a wonderful family trip, and she got that bus ride she has been wanting (and found it not to be so much to her liking - thank God!) A good day all around!

 

Count me in with those who LOVE when school starts back up. I love getting to resume our regular routine and to teach my child again! I just respond that we homeschool and I too love it when school starts again. Then I usually hear about how they could never stand to be with their children that much. Hmmm, sounds to me like they have bigger problems than educational choices.

[Moni]

Do ya'll secretly laugh when your friends start complaining about back to school?

 

Naw, they seem to be serious enough issues to them. :glare:

 

, "Well, you could always HOME SCHOOL them!" :D

 

They already know that. The stuff they are complaining about is [obviously] worth the trouble. The alternative [homeschooling] isn't worth it.

:seeya:

[Plucky]

That. Exactly.

 

And I hate the Staples commercial with the "Most Wonderful Time of the Year" song.

 

.

 

Really? I think that commercial is hysterical.

[LibraryLover]

I don't because my friends who do send their kids to school listen to my own particular hsing thoughts patiently without saying, "Send them to school!"

 

Everyone has their own concerns, even if we do not share them.

Edited August 20, 2009 by LibraryLover

[Georgiana Daniels]

I completely agree that everyone has their own concerns when choosing how to educate their children. In fact, that's why my oldest is in ps :)

 

I think what bothers me is the level of glee that some parents show in front of their children. That's the part that makes me sad.

[ciyates]

I just got a call from my dear friend (it is almost midnight) who asked me to come over and explain GCF to their 9th grader. She was so excited about ps. My dear 13yr has been in bed for a few hours. By the way it is only the second day of PS and the kids have had 4 hours of homework each night. I am like the penguins in Madagascar. "Just smile and wave boys, smile and wave!"

[KidsHappen]

You can bet that if the stars ever aligned enough for my kids to go to school away all day, I'd be jumping up and down, too!:lol: Imagine everything I could get DONE!! ANd we're in an exciting foreign country- so much to do and see!!!

 

But then I'd for sure be one of those Because school just wouldn't work out here, at all.

 

Still, its my dirty little fantasy- what I would DO with alllll that time alone. (((sigh)))

 

 

That's what I used to think to. Sure I would complain but there would be so much time to get everything done. NONSENSE! Sending them to school takes more time. We get up at 5:30 to get everyone fed, and showered, and teeth brushed, and dressed and hair done and lunches packed, and backpacks packed and shoes and coats found and on and out the door to get to the school bus on time. And then yes, a few quiet hours before they are home and you start with the homework rountine (which seems to take almost as much time as homeschooling did before) and the reading of rules, and signing of papers, and checking agendas, and gathering supplies and books for assignements and activities and experiements, and then dinner, and reading, and picking the clothes for the next day and so on. It takes so much time and energy and it all has to be done on someone else's schedule. And then there is still all the complaining about the teachers, rules, homework, influences, etc.All I have done is shift the few peaceful hours to a different time of the day and bought a bunch new headaches.

 

So yeah, I get the complaining. Maybe some of the women do it because they don't know there are options, or they don't think that they can do it, or there is a reason why they can't homeschool but in some cases it really is the best thing for their child As I mentioned it was the best thing for my 7th grader and so even though I hate the hassles I put up with them because I know it is the best for her and that makes it easier. Now the youngest is a totally different story and it is still very much a struggle as I work through it. And yes, I want to vent and work through my feelings and most PS mom's don;t really understand where I am coming from and what exactly it is I have issues with. I am kind of caught between two worlds right now. So I really appreciate the women that listen and sympathize and yes, bite their tongues. So I just want to say thanks to them. :)

[Annabelle's Mom]

When I was picking up a few things from the big sales on school supplies, I was so glad that unlike the other moms shopping, I could buy the items that I wanted, not whatever is on the official school supply list!

I was in Walmart yesterday looking for our own items and was hysterical listening to others in the aisle. One mom was becoming frustrated that her school list required a 48pack of crayons and there were none to be seen. I found myself looking for them for her. Then another lady in the aisle was on her cell phone with a somewhat raised voice complaining that she had been to 3 stores already looking for certain colored pencils, and finally conceding that she would just have to take the red pencil out of a pack of pencils apparently to meet a need for colored pencils sans red pencils. My eyes just cross that the classroom teachers can dictate what materials the student must use. There's a whole aisle in Walmart with the schools' class lists of the supplies needed. Moms were going down the aisle with carts full of supplies. All I can think of is what a terrible expense. We got supplies too (at Staples, not Walmart), but only reasonable ones like glue, pencil leads, binders, etc. And they were the ones WE liked, not from a list. I SO could not parent public schooled kids now!

[Nicole M]

I'm happy about back-to-school.

Summer is so hectic around here (partly because or small business is incredibly busy in July and August) that I can't wait for mid-September.

This year my older son is off to high school and it will be just my 10 year old and me at home. I am really looking forward to the quiet days and our familiar routine.

I do still like the 15 year old. ;)

 

Same here. I still like my oldest, but am looking forward to my quiet mornings and simpler routine.

 

I don't have to hold my tongue when I hear other moms complaining, though, because my oldest did attend public school until the end of 5th grade. It was a nightmare. I genuinely feel sorry for those moms.

[Debbie in IL]

Carol, I feel the same way. It breaks my heart.

[Danestress]

just about different things - the babies and toddlers, the unexpected interruptions, the curriculum that isn't want they expected, the difficulty of getting the housework done.

 

I'm not really tempted to tell my working friends to quit when they complain about work or to tell friends to send kids to school when they complain about homeschool. It just seems like some women really complain a lot and probably would complain about something different if their life circumstances changed.

[ezrabean2005]

We've been back to school two days now, and it's really, really, hard work to homeschool 4 kids and take care of a 2yo. There is definitely a part of me that looks longingly out the window at my neighbor walking her 3 kids to the grade school around the corner. The temptation to suggest homeschooling when friends are venting isn't there for me, only because I'd be incredibly annoyed if my venting was met with "you could always put them in public school," kwim?

 

:iagree:

My family's choices are our choices. Someone elses' choices are none of my business and is not my place to judge. I would hate if someone did that to me especially a family member or "friend".

[Tammyla]

I think complaining is often used to connect with people and open up a conversation around here. It's kind of like the weather is so...fill in the blank.

 

I for one am not ready to give up summer just yet. Fall is wonderful but then comes winter and I just don't want to go there. I'm a February...when is this going to end so we can get outside without the threat of hypothermia and frostbite kind of mom? Aka transplant who hasn't quite embraced the winter wonderland we now call home.

 

Tammy, Chanting quietly to myself..."It is still warm outside...It is still warm outside."

[Jackie in AR]

It just seems like some women really complain a lot and probably would complain about something different if their life circumstances changed.

 

I think this is it. Some people are complainers, pure and simple. Whatever their situation is, in their minds it is much more difficult than anyone else's.

 

I usually just smile at them and try to change the subject, unless they just keep talking and try to pointedly make comparisons with my life.

[MIch elle]

I'm happy about back-to-school.

Summer is so hectic around here (partly because or small business is incredibly busy in July and August) that I can't wait for mid-September.

This year my older son is off to high school and it will be just my 10 year old and me at home. I am really looking forward to the quiet days and our familiar routine.

I do still like the 15 year old. ;)

 

One that is going back to his private high school and the other to continue homeschooling. We all love summer but we also like the routine of school.

[Pretty in Pink]

Do ya'll secretly laugh when your friends start complaining about back to school? About having three kids in three schools that start at different times? And then once school is really going, griping about teachers, schedules, homework, science projects, bad influences, etc.?

 

I wish I had more nerve so I could just say, "Well, you could always HOME SCHOOL them!" :D

 

Nope. My friends are free to choose whichever schooling option they feel best fits their family and circumstances. It isn't my place to judge their decision. If I am that concerned about it then I try to see things from their perspective.

[chaik76]

I find it very sad when Mom's say they cant wait to send their kids away to school and how they are counting down the days. I just cringe inside especially when it is Christian Moms doing it. I just tell them that I try to follow Deuteronomy 6 as closely as I can and if I sent them away to school I would feel like a failure as a Mom trying to serve Christ.

Don't you think that's a little judgmental?

No, I do not laugh privately at people with these very real problems. Homeschooling is not the "right fit" for every family, to begin with. Additionally, there are homeschooling families with very similar situations.

 

 

Yes.

 

Nope. My friends are free to choose whichever schooling option they feel best fits their family and circumstances. It isn't my place to judge their decision. If I am that concerned about it then I try to see things from their perspective.

Yes.

 

We've used both options. I homeschool my oldest because it's the best option for him. You know what? I liked having him in school...it was fun for me...I did have more time, I did get me time, I was able to get things done. There is no law that says people are bad parents if their children go off to school, or if they enjoy having time without their kids around. Different school situations work best for different people. It does not annoy me when people say they are glad school is starting, and I don't have to bite my tongue.

 

It does often annoy me when I see this yearly thread on every homeschooling board I am on and hear the same mantra from most of the homeschooling parents I know in real life. We are not "better" because we homeschool...we are just doing things differently, and I would never suppose that my way, or homeschooling, was best for everyone.

[Surlygirlie]

We've been back to school two days now, and it's really, really, hard work to homeschool 4 kids and take care of a 2yo. There is definitely a part of me that looks longingly out the window at my neighbor walking her 3 kids to the grade school around the corner. The temptation to suggest homeschooling when friends are venting isn't there for me, only because I'd be incredibly annoyed if my venting was met with "you could always put them in public school," kwim?

 

This is spot on what I think as well. In fact, I try NOT to complain to my friends/neighbors because I irrationally think that's what they would suggest.

 

I think there is a difference between listening to a mom complaining about all the work/homework/time invested in having kids attending traditional school and listening to a mom being over the moon that she doesn't have to be around her kids all day. One is understandable, the other eh, not so much.

[LibraryLover]

One of mine is going to high school, and I am perfectly OK with that. The days absolutely fly by and before I can start to miss, he's home. I don't mind him going to school at all. He's a percussionist & the summers are loud! ;) When I think of how quiet it will be, I start to feel like that Dad in the Staples commercial. I'm already going to hell, so I can say this.

Edited August 20, 2009 by LibraryLover

[coralloyd]

I have a friend that on the first day of Pre-K she foung out that there was an all day option, instead of just half day. Without thinking twice she left him there from 8-3 that same day. When she got to our Mom Time group she was so excited that she could leave her 4 yr. old all day long :confused:. I can understand others wanting school to start back, but this was just too much for me. I cried when I got home.