Can I really meet high school requirements?

[C_l_e_0..Q_c]

I'm having major doubts about being able to meet proper high school requirements, that will allow my son - the heavily science minded, but totally lazy bum.

 

Right now, he's 10, so I have a few years ahead of us to correct what we're doing wrong, or not doing at all. He's done with pre-algebra from MUS, but couldn't pass the test for Singapore Math 6. So he'll be doing that next year. Part of his reason for failing the test were that the numbers were too hard to calculate. He could tell me how to solve the problems, but he couldn't crunch the numbers.

 

He's lazy, as I said, and I think I let him get away with too much. He has problems with the physical act of writing, it's barely legible. So he hates notebooking with a passion. He will write as little as possible. Mind you, he's pretty good at getting all his ideas into one short sentence with proper usage of adverbs and adjectives.

 

This is a boy with a definite future in sciences. Probably as an engineer, or in robotics, or computers like his dad and mom. Sciences are the hardest to get into at university level, and they don't allow for laziness.

 

On the other hand, I never know what's laziness, what's lack of fine motor skills, and what's a probable attention deficit, and what's a normal 10yo boy behaviour. Testing is out of the question because we're underground homeschoolers. And even if we weren't, homeschoolers here do not have access to any services at all.

[Tokyomarie]

First, I would say, to some degree, "relax." Your son will gain a lot of maturity over the next 3 to 4 years. It's hard to imagine at 10 that an unmotivated child who has difficulty writing may actually be ready for high school at 13, 14, 15. But my beyond extremely unmotivated 10 year old who couldn't complete the simplest task unless I sat with him has moved ever so slowly toward responsible self-control in the last 6 months or so. He is now a 13yo 7th grader and while he still doesn't have any passion that drives him, he is responding better to adult directive. He is getting to the point now where I can give him 1-3 clear, cut-and-dried assignments to do on his own when I have to go out for an appointment and expect that when I get home he will have made a valiant effort to complete the work. (My dh works at home, so he is not alone if I have to go out)

 

If your son has difficulty with handwriting, I might suggest that you read everything you can find about dysgraphia and consider what you can apply at home if you choose not to get an evaluation. Do you suspect any other learning challenges such as dyslexia or is his academic difficulty related to the writing? For difficulty related to the physical act of writing, you can choose to scribe for him and continue to do so until he either can use a keyboard efficiently or his endurance for handwriting improves. Also try to do as much orally as you can until his handwriting or keyboarding skills kick in. My son's endurance is improving finally to the point where he can complete about one page of writing for an assignment before taking a break. That's making a huge difference in what we can accomplish compared to when he was 10!

 

Take heart, and keep plugging away!

[Myrtle]

I'm having major doubts about being able to meet proper high school requirements, that will allow my son - the heavily science minded, but totally lazy bum.

 

Right now, he's 10, so I have a few years ahead of us to correct what we're doing wrong, or not doing at all. He's done with pre-algebra from MUS, but couldn't pass the test for Singapore Math 6. So he'll be doing that next year. Part of his reason for failing the test were that the numbers were too hard to calculate. He could tell me how to solve the problems, but he couldn't crunch the numbers.

 

He's lazy, as I said, and I think I let him get away with too much. He has problems with the physical act of writing, it's barely legible. So he hates notebooking with a passion. He will write as little as possible. Mind you, he's pretty good at getting all his ideas into one short sentence with proper usage of adverbs and adjectives.

 

This is a boy with a definite future in sciences. Probably as an engineer, or in robotics, or computers like his dad and mom. Sciences are the hardest to get into at university level, and they don't allow for laziness.

 

On the other hand, I never know what's laziness, what's lack of fine motor skills, and what's a probable attention deficit, and what's a normal 10yo boy behaviour. Testing is out of the question because we're underground homeschoolers. And even if we weren't, homeschoolers here do not have access to any services at all.

 

Apparently we are raising twins separated at birth.

 

If I knew a way to motivate a kid, get him to pay attention to details, and make him an independent and responsible learner, I'd sell it to the school districts and become a billionaire.

 

A motivated and responsible student can compensate for lack of academic preparation by taking remedial courses at community college or the unversity, but there is no cure for a student who, for whatever reason, doesn't want to do the work, no matter how well-prepared they are. I don't think I ever had a student who dropped out or flunked my college class due to low IQ--every one of them were intelligent but had other priorities at the time other than studying for my class.

 

I have told my son that almost every boy out there wants to be a scientist, engineer, or astronaut, but that very few are willing to put in the work it takes to achieve those goals. It's all about delay of gratification. If he wants it bad enough he'll do it. Otherwise, he'll be like many other men I know and end up with a happy and well paid job as a plumber or electrician fulfilling their passion for science by reading Isaac Asimov and Popular Mechanics on the weekends.

[C_l_e_0..Q_c]

Otherwise, he'll be like many other men I know and end up with a happy and well paid job as a plumber or electrician fulfilling their passion for science by reading Isaac Asimov and Popular Mechanics on the weekends.

 

In our household, this would be considered a failure. Everyone else (cousins, aunts, uncles, etc..) attend demanding high schools, and get into difficult university programs.

 

While I understand that these criteria differ from families to families, for us, we need to match the most demanding high school. Cause that's where he would have gone had we not homeschool. And that's still where he might go... where someone else would push him to his limits and where peer pressure will work in a positive way. (no, I'm not talking public high school...)

[Laura K (NC)]

Disclaimer: this is my own opinion, based on what has worked with my own three boys and with most of the boys I know in real life. The exceptions, I think, are very few:

 

I hear so many times that a boy is good in math, but doesn't show his work, or that a boy is good with math concepts, but makes many careless mistakes. Science is an exacting discipline, and math is the perfect discipline to prepare for science. Any parent can prepare their kid for higher science, but it takes discipline in the younger years when math just feels like pointless drudgery. You can do this, but if your son wants to go further he might need to go backward in math to be able to calculate arithmetic as well as he will need to in later years. This is the true pre-algebra. If basic arithmetic isn't learned before algebra, it will have to be learned concurrently with algebra, or geometry, or trig, or chemistry, or physics. A child in chemistry will learn to hate it if weak math skills are crippling him.

 

My 11yo son sounds similar to yours. He's bright with problem solving, but weak in self-discipline and he is very weak in language arts (I did have him tested). The self-discipline is really the only thing holding him back, and I think it's just typical of the age... those boys who can get through their workbooks easily are rare. If college is important to you, success is at once very simple and very difficult: work with him every day for perfection. Don't worry about getting a boy that young too far ahead in math. If he's only a year ahead, on track to do algebra in 8th grade, he will be perfectly situated to do very well in college. You can certainly take him the whole way if you do it slowly and methodically with him. If he gets too far ahead you both will give up. It's easy, because it's just one small new concept at a time. It's difficult because it's a daily chore.

 

Give him logic puzzles, chess, geometry on the side, computer programming, models to build, engines to take apart, and let him grow his natural problem-solving skills that way. Look at math as a discipline... a set of tools he needs to acquire as a second nature in order to go forward. The more time he spends perfecting those tools, the more thoroughly they will be ingrained in him and the more successful he will be. With math, it isn't how fast you go, but how perfectly you go.

[Gwen in VA]

I totally agree -- RELAX!!!!! As a mother to two boys who had NO focus up intil 8th grade but who now have it in spades, I can honestly say that some boys bloom later than others!

 

I also totally agree about the math. Yes, some kids do pre-algebra in 6th grade, but....in 7th they do algebra, 8th is geometry, 9th is algebra 2, 10th is precalculus, so 11th and 12 is calculus 1, 2, 3, & 4? There is NO rush! Algebra in 8th will get him through the beginning semester or two of calculus, which is good for a future engineer but not required.

 

Kids seem to go through a hormone rush sometime in middle school and then all of a sudden you are dealing with a child who really approximates an adult in many ways. But that transformation often happens in later middle school / early high school. Your son is a long way from that!

 

I totally second the suggestions of logic puzzles, chess, etc. Find out what he delights in and pursue that -- even if he is lazy wrt schoolwork, if he has a passion for something that is good!

[C_l_e_0..Q_c]

I think one of the reasons I'm having a hard time relaxing is that DS is done with grade 6 work (based on the local curriculum). And over here, "high school" starts in grade 7 and ends in grade 11. There is no grade 12.

 

So if I go with local books next year, they will bear the dreaded words "high school" on them! :eek:

[Tokyomarie]

I think one of the reasons I'm having a hard time relaxing is that DS is done with grade 6 work (based on the local curriculum). And over here, "high school" starts in grade 7 and ends in grade 11. There is no grade 12.

 

So if I go with local books next year, they will bear the dreaded words "high school" on them! :eek:

 

So your area functions like our Aussie friends? I can't say that I understand the system, but I'm venturing a guess that even though the words "high school" will appear for you next year that it doesn't mean students study the same subjects as the typical 9th grade/high school curriculum in the USA or even that they are expected to have the same maturity level we would expect in a 14yo.

 

I would not allow the words "high school" to scare you. Just keep doing the next thing and look for gradual, but progressive growth.

 

As I sit here, my 13yo son who *could NOT* sustain his attention to a task for more than 15 seconds without me focusing all MY attention on him when he was 7-10yo is actually concentrating carefully on his cursive copywork (Is that alliteration or what?) and spelling assignment.

 

Remember that sometimes students who go through extremely demanding private school programs burn out by the time they get to college. They are exhausted from the effort of trying to do ever larger volumes of work. There are those who absolutely thrive in that environment. But I suspect that those boys who are not highly driven academics at a young age burn out. Slow and steady often wins the race.

[8filltheheart]

I haven;t read the other responses, so someone may have already written this. I think you have several different issues going on simultaneously.

 

First.....intelligence and maturity do not necessarily meet at the same time. Frustrating, but reality. Simply b/c your ds has the intelligence, does not mean he is ready, to do high school level work. There is a reason that many educational programs simply seem to tread water during 7th and 8th grade......reviewing what seems material obviously already covered.

 

Secondly.......performing for mom. That is another issue. Can't help you there. My boys didn't start that at 10, but by 16 we were at complete odds. Outsourcing (or as with my current 16 yos----enrolling in school) has been the only source to relieve the conflict. Have you considered highly academic sources for your ds? Regina Coeli and Angelicum Academy are both online sources that come to mind. YOu might try experimenting with a class or two and see if he is as "lazy" for them as he is for you. For some totally unknown magical reason, my boys will work extremely hard for teachers whom they do not refer to as "mom."

 

Thirdly.....maybe he is burnt out. Burn out in young kids is a real phenomenon. My oldest experienced it in 5th grade when he was 10. Perhaps his laziness is simply due to a lack of excitement and tiredness. Progressing through a totally unique approach to academics or slowing down and making things very easy for a while might help.