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How Can I Help DD?


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We're in the second week of home schooling, and she is taking FOREVER to get her work done. Honestly, she doesn't even have that much to do. Hasn't started Logic, Science (with lab), or enrichment yet.

 

Today she started at 10:30. It took her 4 hours to do her algebra. Honestly, it was a 10-problem quiz and 15 problems. She understood it fine, she just took that long to complete her work. Then it was another nearly 3 hours to finish a little bit of Social Studies and one poem analysis. She still has Spanish and Typing to complete.

 

I don't know how to help her....she just needs to learn how to focus herself and work faster. At this pace she's going to have 12 hour days when her curriculum is complete.

 

Help from any of you experienced homeschoolers would be greatly appreciated!!!

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My 15 year old is like this...only worse. I got the younger kids out of the house for 4 hours today so she could have quiet to work on her algebra.

 

She got 1 and 1/2 problems done. I wish that it was a matter of her just not trying, but she really is doing her best.

 

It turns out that she has a sleep disorder that makes her always excessively sleepy. You know how hard it is to concentrate when you are exhausted. Her medication helps, but she should probably have taken another 1/2 dose before she started working.

 

All of this is just to say I'm really glad that I didn't fuss at her or get mad before we found out what was wrong.

 

I think that a mother can tell if her child is just being lazy or if there might be a hidden problem why school work is taking so long.

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Were you in the room when she was working to make she wasn't daydreaming?

 

Are you sure she really understands the material? If its taking that long I would think she does not completely understand.

 

I would give her X amount of time and the rest she has to do as "homework".

 

If she is just coming out of public school there definitely is a learning curve and an adjustment period.

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Were you in the room when she was working to make she wasn't daydreaming?

 

Are you sure she really understands the material? If its taking that long I would think she does not completely understand.

 

I would give her X amount of time and the rest she has to do as "homework".

 

If she is just coming out of public school there definitely is a learning curve and an adjustment period.

 

I am in the room the whole time, but I'm also working so it's not like I'm watching her every second. When I did look, I saw that this was daydreaming, doodling, snoozing...anything but doing the work. I'm certain that she understands the work just fine, because, in Algebra for example, she got every problem correct and even showed her work.

 

I let her pick what time she wanted to start, and she selected 10:30 so that she can sleep until 10:00.

 

I thought about giving her a certain amount of time to get the work done, but then she'll never get it done, so I'm not sure how that would help. FWIW, we had a similar problem when she was in public school but with homework. She would take HOURS to finish anything, and I'm at a loss for how to help her. I can't do it for her.

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My 15 year old is like this...only worse. I got the younger kids out of the house for 4 hours today so she could have quiet to work on her algebra.

 

She got 1 and 1/2 problems done. I wish that it was a matter of her just not trying, but she really is doing her best.

 

It turns out that she has a sleep disorder that makes her always excessively sleepy. You know how hard it is to concentrate when you are exhausted. Her medication helps, but she should probably have taken another 1/2 dose before she started working.

 

All of this is just to say I'm really glad that I didn't fuss at her or get mad before we found out what was wrong.

 

I think that a mother can tell if her child is just being lazy or if there might be a hidden problem why school work is taking so long.

 

It's not that I think she's being lazy, per se, but...I don't know. She just doesn't really have any sense of urgency about it at all. Sigh.

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Could she possibly be bored? My 8 yo was like this with math - it was like pulling teeth. Then I gave him some harder work sheets and he breezed through them. He just wanted more of a challenge, so I bumped up his math level and he is much better now. Still dawdles a bit, but it's not nearly as bad, I think more of a normal 8 yo boy now :D

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Can she move quickly when she's motivated to do so?

 

If you're not sure, try some experiments - tell her you'll take her to do __________ (something she would really enjoy) "as soon as she finishes her math". See how long that takes. You might want to try it several times. If she is unable to speed up even for something she really wants to do, then you might consider having her evaluated.

 

If she can speed up for something she enjoys (don't comment on that fact right away!!), then you have a different problem. In that case, I would sit down with her at a neutral time and discuss schoolwork with her and help her come up with some ways to motivate herself - I'm sure she doesn't want to spend all day, every day, doing schoolwork either!!

 

Anne

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My 13 yo who appears to dawdle, daydream, and doodle has a slow processing speed. She has to think longer and harder to retrieve information from long term memory. Math and writing are particularly difficult for her.

 

Some recommendations from the EdPsych who evaluated her include:

shortened lessons,

extra time (1 1/2) for tests,

typing her written assignments,

using a calculator if significant efforts to automatize math facts are unsuccessful (she uses a multiplication chart instead),

teach every detail of a procedure explicitly then have her make a "recipe card" that she can refer to while doing her assignments,

work through sample problems with student calling out the steps,

consider Semple Math which uses mneumonics (we don't use this but we do use curriculum that fits her learning style),

keep worksheets visually uncluttered,

make sure she is regularly engaging in activities that provide enjoyment and a sense of accomplishment,

teach good study skills,

break long assignments into small, manageable parts,

help her understand her strengths and weaknesses and set appropriate expectations,

set adult expectations at an appropriate level,

have her engage in activities that have no winner or loser.

 

My dd will get every problem correct, because she is afraid of failure. But it can be a agonizingly slow process.

Edited by LizzyBee
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Can she move quickly when she's motivated to do so?

 

If you're not sure, try some experiments - tell her you'll take her to do __________ (something she would really enjoy) "as soon as she finishes her math". See how long that takes. You might want to try it several times. If she is unable to speed up even for something she really wants to do, then you might consider having her evaluated.

 

If she can speed up for something she enjoys (don't comment on that fact right away!!), then you have a different problem. In that case, I would sit down with her at a neutral time and discuss schoolwork with her and help her come up with some ways to motivate herself - I'm sure she doesn't want to spend all day, every day, doing schoolwork either!!

 

Anne

 

I agree with trying this, but keep in mind that even kids who have learning disabilities can improve their performance for a day at a time when they are particularly motivated, but it requires tremendous effort that they can't maintain over time. When a kid tries really hard and needs a high five, and is instead asked, "Now why can't you do this every day?", their motivation and confidence will be decreased.

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My dd takes forever to complete work too. She can do it quickly if there's something she's really itching to do after the work is done, but otherwise she dawdles like crazy. She daydreams and gets distracted very easily. I wouldn't be surprised if she has ADD because she has such a hard time focusing sometimes. I know that I'm like that sometimes too though; especially with putting things off that I don't particularly want to do.

 

This past school year was a bit rough because I wouldn't start schoolwork early enough in the morning with the kids and so I felt like I was regularly rushing dd. Also, I felt like we didn't get done all we could have because of her dawdling. We were both guilty of holding things up that could have been done quicker, more efficiently, and more pleasantly.

 

This year my game plan is to have set time blocks (give or take a bit, but nothing crazy like taking 2 hrs. for math that should take 45 mins.). Whatever isn't completed at the end of that timeblock becomes homework. When her friends come calling at 3 or 4pm, I'll have to be tough and tell them she's doing homework. Hopefully this will get the point across to dd that I won't be held hostage to her dawdling and that we aren't going to slack on the work because of the dawdling either. I am also going to make a VERY concerted effort to be up early and have everything prepared for the school day to start at 9am at the latest.

 

I find that dd needs more quiet than ds does to get work done and I also find that the more I try to rush her, the slower she goes and the more stressed out we both get. By having a set schedule and trying to minimize distractions (phone, me drifting off to the internet forums), and starting earlier, I'm really hoping to make schooltime more pleasant for dd and myself this year and instill better values and priorities in both of us :)

 

ETA: Ds is more of a whiner about schoolwork and that causes things to take longer than they should. Last year it wasn't as much of an issue because I still require very little from him for schoolwork. However, this year he will be in Gr. 2 and have a little more work, though I'm still going pretty light with the schoolwork for him. My gameplan is to not only expect stuff he doesn't complete to be homework, but I'm seriously considering "charging" him for any time of mine he wastes. If he whines for 5 mins. about writing two words down, then he will owe me 5 mins. of time later for something, whether that is more schoolwork or chores or whatever I decide. I might consider doing the same thing with dd if she is stalling just to put off doing the work, however if she is slow at doing the work because of her distractability, I don't really want to penalize her for that with owing me time because I'm not 100% sure she can really help her lack of focus sometimes.

Edited by emmsmama
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Can she move quickly when she's motivated to do so?

 

If you're not sure, try some experiments - tell her you'll take her to do __________ (something she would really enjoy) "as soon as she finishes her math". See how long that takes. You might want to try it several times. If she is unable to speed up even for something she really wants to do, then you might consider having her evaluated.

 

If she can speed up for something she enjoys (don't comment on that fact right away!!), then you have a different problem. In that case, I would sit down with her at a neutral time and discuss schoolwork with her and help her come up with some ways to motivate herself - I'm sure she doesn't want to spend all day, every day, doing schoolwork either!!

 

Anne

 

:iagree:

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My 13 yo who appears to dawdle, daydream, and doodle has a slow processing speed. She has to think longer and harder to retrieve information from long term memory. Math and writing are particularly difficult for her.

 

Some recommendations from the EdPsych who evaluated her include:

 

using a calculator if significant efforts to automatize math facts are unsuccessful (she uses a multiplication chart instead) This would help her a lot,I think, but I struggle with it. She seems to take way too much time trying to figure out basic math that I think she should already know, but that she struggles with anyway. She has no problems with higher level math concepts, but can't remember the easiest of multiplication tables sometimes, and she gets "frozen" by it. Maybe I should allow it. After all, we can all use a calculator in the "real world...."

 

make sure she is regularly engaging in activities that provide enjoyment and a sense of accomplishment, Unfortunately, she has yet to find one of these.:confused:

 

help her understand her strengths and weaknesses and set appropriate expectations, I would, but I don't know what the appropriate expectations are. My expectation is that she does what needs to be done, and that she does it faster than what she's currently doing! Seems pretty ambiguous, but I don't know how to get around it....

set adult expectations at an appropriate level, Not sure I know what that means...

have her engage in activities that have no winner or loser. Such as? And, what is the purpose?

 

My dd will get every problem correct, because she is afraid of failure. Mine, too! But it can be a agonizingly slow process.

 

Thanks so much for this! I do have a few questions, though, that I've put in blue, above. If you have the time to respond, I'd really appreciate it.

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