Kalypso Posted August 8, 2009 Share Posted August 8, 2009 My ds 10 played baseball this spring and my dh helped coach. DH got to know some of the families, and they would go out to eat after some of the games. He planned a party at our house today and invited the baseball team. He did all the shopping, most of the cleaning, and helped cook all the food. 5 families RSVP'd and said they were coming. One family came and another dropped their kids off and came back later to visit awhile. My dh is so disappointed. He really liked these families and was looking forward to visting with them all. I can't believe the ones who said they were coming didn't bother to let us know they weren't. In fact, we changed the date of the party for one of the families that didn't show. On the bright side, I probably won't have to cook for a few days! I don't think we will be planning a party with this group again.:glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TXMomof4 Posted August 8, 2009 Share Posted August 8, 2009 I am always amazed at how rude people are. For my dd's 8th b-day we had decided on a very small party. We only invited 4 other girls and 2 of those were sisters. All rsvped and said they'd be there. Only the two sisters showed up. Dd was devastated, I was so angry I couldn't hardly be nice the next day to the other two families. Argh! It makes me angry still! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lmrich Posted August 8, 2009 Share Posted August 8, 2009 I am so sorry. Actually, right now, a friend is having a party that had 46 people RSVP to come and maybe 20 showed up. (It is at the community pool, so my husband went with the kids while I stayed home to ice my sore foot) I would fall into that category of no shows, but then I couldnt' walk well and sent my apology. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnandtinagilbert Posted August 8, 2009 Share Posted August 8, 2009 People are so busy these days they just don't "have the time" for common courtesy. I miss slower times. When I was growing up a backyard cookout was an awaited pleasure for everyone. Sorry for dh, too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ibbygirl Posted August 8, 2009 Share Posted August 8, 2009 I am always amazed at how rude people are. For my dd's 8th b-day we had decided on a very small party. We only invited 4 other girls and 2 of those were sisters. All rsvped and said they'd be there. Only the two sisters showed up. Dd was devastated, I was so angry I couldn't hardly be nice the next day to the other two families. Argh! It makes me angry still! OH!! hugs! :grouphug: An identical situation happen with my dd's 9th birthday. We invited a bunch of kids to come to a barbecue/pool party. 15 RSVP'd. ONE showed!! My daughter kept asking when all the other kids were going to come. I felt so sick and angry over it! I called my sister and she came over with her kids and I invited my neighbors to come have barbecue. She wound up having a fun time anyway, but I just couldn't believe that not one of those other people called to say they couldn't come after RSVPing and my even calling the day before the party to confirm and they still said they were coming. Unreal! So sorry about your hubby OP, maybe reading this thread will make him feel better?? At least he will know it's nothing to do with him personally. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie in Austin Posted August 8, 2009 Share Posted August 8, 2009 You know what I like to do when this happens? Call them up and ask, somewhat breathlessly, if everything is OK? Was there an accident? No? Oh, I'm so glad to hear that. Since we were expecting you today and you weren't there, we were afraid something terrible had happened to you.;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plain jane Posted August 9, 2009 Share Posted August 9, 2009 You know what I like to do when this happens? Call them up and ask, somewhat breathlessly, if everything is OK? Was there an accident? No? Oh, I'm so glad to hear that. Since we were expecting you today and you weren't there, we were afraid something terrible had happened to you.;) :iagree::iagree: Heh heh heh. Yup!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katemary63 Posted August 9, 2009 Share Posted August 9, 2009 So sorry for your DH. It is very hard not to take this kind of thing personally, but actually it probably isn't. It is very rude though. Just because something came up, you're sick, or what ever doesn't mean you can't call. I would NEVER do this to some body. Who ARE these people?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted August 9, 2009 Share Posted August 9, 2009 My dad sends Get Well cards. LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pam Wilhelm Posted August 9, 2009 Share Posted August 9, 2009 We don't entertain anymore for just this reason......... we just can't afford to spend the money on the food, the time seriously cleaning the house, and the time waiting......... to have folks not show up. After having it happen many times...with friends and family........ we have raised the white flag...we give up. The last time we tried to entertain it cost us around $200.00 worth of food (of course, we ate it ourselves, but we never would have bought it in the first place)....... and we're talking family! When I said something to them about it they said that we could bring the food to their house if we wanted. Fat chance of that happening. I'm sorry this happened to you....... it sucks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted August 9, 2009 Share Posted August 9, 2009 I'm sorry, that just bites. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ibbygirl Posted August 9, 2009 Share Posted August 9, 2009 We don't entertain anymore for just this reason......... we just can't afford to spend the money on the food, the time seriously cleaning the house, and the time waiting......... to have folks not show up. After having it happen many times...with friends and family........ we have raised the white flag...we give up. The last time we tried to entertain it cost us around $200.00 worth of food (of course, we ate it ourselves, but we never would have bought it in the first place)....... and we're talking family! When I said something to them about it they said that we could bring the food to their house if we wanted. Fat chance of that happening. I'm sorry this happened to you....... it sucks. That's just awful!! How can they even have the GALL to suggest that you not only cook the food but deliver it to them?? Oh man, I would have had to bite my lips until they were spurting blood! :mad: My daughter can't have birthday parties anymore either for the same reason. Sigh. It just stinks that people act so poorly and can spoil so much in their wake for their utter lack of courtesy and manners. :( I agree with Kate... Who ARE these people?? :001_huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacia Posted August 9, 2009 Share Posted August 9, 2009 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tree House Academy Posted August 9, 2009 Share Posted August 9, 2009 Awww...what a bummer! Were you clear in the invitation that the party was not just for the kids, but for the families too? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kalypso Posted August 9, 2009 Author Share Posted August 9, 2009 Thanks everyone for your kind words. Dh is disappointed, but he was making jokes after we cleaned everything up and put as much food in the freezer as we could. And yes, it was clear that it was a party for the entire families - not just the kids. So, no more parties for me for awhile. I think we will stick to one family at a time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted August 9, 2009 Share Posted August 9, 2009 that's so sad for your dh, and it was probably harder on you to watch it! Bless the socks off him, and forget about how RUDE those people were. I can't even imagine being so rude!!! Very early on in our marriage I bought a TON of fancy food to have dh's sister and her family over for dinner. They had been after us to invite them so we finally did. I spent tons of money which we DIDN'T have only to get a phone call the morning of the dinner to tell us that skiing conditions were wonderful and they'd be going skiing instead. They never got another invite with us, and they cut themselves off from the entire family (mother/sister) for 17 years shortly after that. They now have a VERY limited relationship with their mother, whom almost died of a stroke and heart attack. I can't even imagine being so rude. I always feel AWFUL when we have to cancel due to sickness but we CERTAINLY call and I ALWAYS apologize profusely! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Rain Posted August 9, 2009 Share Posted August 9, 2009 :confused: People can be so inconsiderate. I feel bad for your dh. Hopefully it will be of some comfort to him to read on this board how common the problem really is. :001_huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer in MI Posted August 9, 2009 Share Posted August 9, 2009 What IS it with people!? I'm so sorry that happened to your dh. We have my husband's entire family in town visiting this week. They all grew up here (and now live out of town) and asked if I'd mind having a party and they could invite people here so they could see everyone at one time. Fine. I asked them to ask people to bring a dish to pass. I would provide the meat/buns/condiments/drinks/alcohol/soda/coffee/house, etc. A total of TWO people brought something. AND, I never knew how many were coming!!We ended up with 75 people at our house last night and all we had to eat was meat, a bag of chips and a small salad. Luckily I had 4 apple pies in my freezer so we had dessert. But, then dh's family hasn't offered to help pay for ANY of it. I spent SO much money! Only his mom helped dh and me clean afterward. Grrrrrr . . . :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kalypso Posted August 9, 2009 Author Share Posted August 9, 2009 What IS it with people!? I'm so sorry that happened to your dh. We have my husband's entire family in town visiting this week. They all grew up here (and now live out of town) and asked if I'd mind having a party and they could invite people here so they could see everyone at one time. Fine. I asked them to ask people to bring a dish to pass. I would provide the meat/buns/condiments/drinks/alcohol/soda/coffee/house, etc. A total of TWO people brought something. AND, I never knew how many were coming!!We ended up with 75 people at our house last night and all we had to eat was meat, a bag of chips and a small salad. Luckily I had 4 apple pies in my freezer so we had dessert. But, then dh's family hasn't offered to help pay for ANY of it. I spent SO much money! Only his mom helped dh and me clean afterward. Grrrrrr . . . :glare: Wow...and from family. (But then again, it seems from reading the general board that family is often the cause of many difficult situations.) I'm sorry this happened to you. It makes it very hard to volunteer to do something like that again. It is sad to see from the responses to this thread that rudeness abounds. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted August 9, 2009 Share Posted August 9, 2009 I have had this happen so often - with family, with friends, with church people and with our homeschooling group. . . I was starting to wonder if it was me! I do understand that things like illness can come suddenly. And I do understand that people tend to overschedule themselves. But - I was raised to think that an RSVP meant a social obligation. You put it on the calendar and you honored it. There are times when I will groan when I look at my calendar and think I do not have the energy to go to that party! But 9 times out of 10, when we actually get there, I am so glad that I've gone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
orangearrow Posted August 9, 2009 Share Posted August 9, 2009 I am always amazed at how rude people are. For my dd's 8th b-day we had decided on a very small party. We only invited 4 other girls and 2 of those were sisters. All rsvped and said they'd be there. Only the two sisters showed up. Dd was devastated, I was so angry I couldn't hardly be nice the next day to the other two families. Argh! It makes me angry still! OH!! hugs! :grouphug: An identical situation happen with my dd's 9th birthday. We invited a bunch of kids to come to a barbecue/pool party. 15 RSVP'd. ONE showed!! My daughter kept asking when all the other kids were going to come. I felt so sick and angry over it! I called my sister and she came over with her kids and I invited my neighbors to come have barbecue. She wound up having a fun time anyway, but I just couldn't believe that not one of those other people called to say they couldn't come after RSVPing and my even calling the day before the party to confirm and they still said they were coming. Unreal! So sorry about your hubby OP, maybe reading this thread will make him feel better?? At least he will know it's nothing to do with him personally. :) This happened to one of my dds for her birthday too. I swore off birthday parties for years - this was the first year in forever that they got to invite friends over. It was nerve wracking - wondering if the experience would repeat. Luckily, everyone who said they were coming came - (and a few who didn't rsvp showed up too! LOL) so it was all good. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Peregrine Posted August 9, 2009 Share Posted August 9, 2009 How sad for your DH. :grouphug: I once threw a shower for my sister. She had invited over 40 people. They all showed up. Only 12 had RSVP'd! My mom actually announced during the shower that she was surprised at all the people since only 12 had called. it was silent in the room for a moment.:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted August 9, 2009 Share Posted August 9, 2009 Here's another hand raised. For my DH's 40th b-day party I was expecting just under 100 people. 40 showed up. It was embarassing. The people who showed up must have wondered why I had homecooked ALL THOSE POTS of soup. And ordered the 150 sandwiches. And set and decorated the 10 tables. (only about 5 got used.) And made all those hotdogs for the kids. And got those 25 liters of soda. And aaaaall the other things I had to do to prepare. (desserts! how could I forget all the desserts I made??) It was a LOT of work. And none of the no-shows called. And when our Homeschool Co-op leader turned 40 her husband threw a (expensive) party at a local seafood restaurant. The food was prepaid. It was pricey. He spent hundreds and hundreds of dollars on seafood. Out of a room of 9 big round tables, only 2 were filled. Again, people just didn't bother showing. I just don't get it either. At least call, or admit you're not coming when you RSVP. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted August 9, 2009 Share Posted August 9, 2009 What IS it with people!? I'm so sorry that happened to your dh. We have my husband's entire family in town visiting this week. They all grew up here (and now live out of town) and asked if I'd mind having a party and they could invite people here so they could see everyone at one time. Fine. I asked them to ask people to bring a dish to pass. I would provide the meat/buns/condiments/drinks/alcohol/soda/coffee/house, etc. A total of TWO people brought something. AND, I never knew how many were coming!!We ended up with 75 people at our house last night and all we had to eat was meat, a bag of chips and a small salad. Luckily I had 4 apple pies in my freezer so we had dessert. But, then dh's family hasn't offered to help pay for ANY of it. I spent SO much money! Only his mom helped dh and me clean afterward. Grrrrrr . . . :glare: wow, I can't imagine having that much nerve! I never show up empty handed unless it's a direct order from our family or friends. That'd really rude! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom4him Posted August 9, 2009 Share Posted August 9, 2009 You know what I like to do when this happens? Call them up and ask, somewhat breathlessly, if everything is OK? Was there an accident? No? Oh, I'm so glad to hear that. Since we were expecting you today and you weren't there, we were afraid something terrible had happened to you.;) :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol: I have been know to call people and let them know that we are waiting for them. They normally get there bunns in gear and come.:glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loupelou Posted August 9, 2009 Share Posted August 9, 2009 My dad sends Get Well cards. LOL That's a keeper!:lol::lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ibbygirl Posted August 10, 2009 Share Posted August 10, 2009 This happened to one of my dds for her birthday too. I swore off birthday parties for years - this was the first year in forever that they got to invite friends over. It was nerve wracking - wondering if the experience would repeat. Luckily, everyone who said they were coming came - (and a few who didn't rsvp showed up too! LOL) so it was all good. :D Oh I'm so glad it worked out for her!! I dont' think I can ever convice my husband to have another party for my dd. I'm not sure I could even convince myself! heheehe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ibbygirl Posted August 10, 2009 Share Posted August 10, 2009 Here's another hand raised. For my DH's 40th b-day party I was expecting just under 100 people. 40 showed up. It was embarassing. The people who showed up must have wondered why I had homecooked ALL THOSE POTS of soup. And ordered the 150 sandwiches. And set and decorated the 10 tables. (only about 5 got used.) And made all those hotdogs for the kids. And got those 25 liters of soda. And aaaaall the other things I had to do to prepare. (desserts! how could I forget all the desserts I made??) It was a LOT of work. And none of the no-shows called. And when our Homeschool Co-op leader turned 40 her husband threw a (expensive) party at a local seafood restaurant. The food was prepaid. It was pricey. He spent hundreds and hundreds of dollars on seafood. Out of a room of 9 big round tables, only 2 were filled. Again, people just didn't bother showing. I just don't get it either. At least call, or admit you're not coming when you RSVP. Oh that's terrible!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dirtroad Posted August 10, 2009 Share Posted August 10, 2009 I hate team parties and avoid them like a plague.... HOWEVER, I do not RSVP and then blow it off. I hate it when people do so! Plus, I always feel so guilty if I did RSVP and mistakenly forget the event or have some conflict & don't get to call. I try to call them asap and send the gift asap. I can't stand it b/c I know what all they have gone through. I don't mind occassional gatherings of 1-2 families... but not big loosely connected groups (like teams, b'days & church gatherings). They are awkward & very stressful. I think many people (NOT OP) can't stand their calendars empty & try to fill it with all that we can. My DH works out of town & is only home on weekends. I prefer to stay home & be with him/kids.... get some yard/repair work done.... relax. Our time is so limited & parties are not relaxing to me. Again, I try to explain this to any hostess/host and do not RSVP with a smile (knowing I am not going). It is awful rude and MEAN to do so. The OPs poor husband did an incredible job... it is usually the mom's who want the parties (not husbands or coaches). I am very impressed and it is heartbreaking to see someone that nice so mistreated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted August 10, 2009 Share Posted August 10, 2009 Kelly, You are sound so sweet & so does your dh. It's too bad people are so rude. It's funny...around here team parties are very well attended, in all the sports my kids play (soccer, baseball & hockey.) This is for house & travel. The team party is an expected tradition. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.