5KidzRUs Posted August 5, 2009 Share Posted August 5, 2009 Re Etiquette - As a guest - is it bad manners to use an antique napkin that is set out next to your dinner plate? I recently ate at my aunts house and she and my mom were slack jawed when I whipped the napkin out of the napkin ring and wiped my mouth with it - I felt like a horses behind - I probably ruined her antique napkin. I never heard of such a thing though - decorative napkins? Sheesh! :001_huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kimm in WA Posted August 5, 2009 Share Posted August 5, 2009 I wonder why she would put it on the table in a napkin ring if she didn't want it used? Strange to me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luanne Posted August 5, 2009 Share Posted August 5, 2009 but then again, I don't even own a cloth napkin. I've also never heard of BYON (bring your own napkin) which I guess is what you would have had to do to be able to wipe your mouth. I always thought it was bad manners to sit there with food on your face. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted August 5, 2009 Share Posted August 5, 2009 Re Etiquette - As a guest - is it bad manners to use an antique napkin that is set out next to your dinner plate? I recently ate at my aunts house and she and my mom were slack jawed when I whipped the napkin out of the napkin ring and wiped my mouth with it - I felt like a horses behind - I probably ruined her antique napkin. I never heard of such a thing though - decorative napkins? Sheesh! :001_huh: Hello...if someone puts a NAPKIN next to your plate, she should expect that you should use it!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HayesW Posted August 5, 2009 Share Posted August 5, 2009 Um, I would think a napkin in a ring would be a napkin to be used. I would have taken it out at the beginning of my meal and placed it in my lap. How silly to NOT use a napkin! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susu Posted August 5, 2009 Share Posted August 5, 2009 I was thinking the same thing...why put them out if they are not for use? If she just wanted them as a "place setting" then she should have removed them and put out paper napkins before eating! Susu Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted August 5, 2009 Share Posted August 5, 2009 I was thinking the same thing...why put them out if they are not for use? If she just wanted them as a "place setting" then she should have removed them and put out paper napkins before eating! Susu :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnTheBrink Posted August 5, 2009 Share Posted August 5, 2009 What did she want you to wipe your mouth on, your sleeve? I'd assume a napkin set by my place would be for wiping my mouth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5KidzRUs Posted August 5, 2009 Author Share Posted August 5, 2009 I think there were paper napkins on the center of the table that I should have intuitively known were for my personal use. Maybe she should have set the table with the tablecloth and antique napkins and put a glass covering over the table so I could SEE, but not destroy her heirlooms ... LOL! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nicole M Posted August 5, 2009 Share Posted August 5, 2009 This makes me giggle. I can just see the looks of horror. But. On the other hand, this is something I've wondered about. I recently got out my great grandmother's embroidered placemats and napkins, thinking my boys are old enough and civilized enough to not completely ruin them. But then I realized that it sure seemed like they'd never been used. Then that got me to wondering how, back in the olden days, people cleaned white napkins, before all the super duper cleaning products we have. We only use cloth, but I buy dark colors that don't show stains. How did / do people clean the nice white ones? Did they just not use them? This is a great mystery. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beezus Posted August 5, 2009 Share Posted August 5, 2009 One might think the extra napkins were to have something handy in case of bigger accidental spills. It seems kinda strange to me to put something that looks like a napkin in a place where people are accustomed for napkins to be, and then expect them not to use it as a napkin! I think there were paper napkins on the center of the table that I should have intuitively known were for my personal use. Maybe she should have set the table with the tablecloth and antique napkins and put a glass covering over the table so I could SEE, but not destroy her heirlooms ... LOL! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snickelfritz Posted August 5, 2009 Share Posted August 5, 2009 A pretty centerpiece display, yes... Used to decorate the table and then picked up when the plates are set out, yes.... Even if there were paper napkins in the middle, I would have assumed that a napkin sitting beside my plate in a napkin ring was meant for me to use. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crl Posted August 5, 2009 Share Posted August 5, 2009 I would have assumed that a napkin by my plate was for me to use. So it seems like you're not alone. This makes me giggle. I can just see the looks of horror. But. On the other hand, this is something I've wondered about. I recently got out my great grandmother's embroidered placemats and napkins, thinking my boys are old enough and civilized enough to not completely ruin them. But then I realized that it sure seemed like they'd never been used. Then that got me to wondering how, back in the olden days, people cleaned white napkins, before all the super duper cleaning products we have. We only use cloth, but I buy dark colors that don't show stains. How did / do people clean the nice white ones? Did they just not use them? This is a great mystery. Back in the old days they used to line dry their wash. By doing this, the sun is a natural bleacher. It will take dingy, used cloth diapers and turn them a nice white again. (I've done this many times.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melissel Posted August 5, 2009 Share Posted August 5, 2009 A pretty centerpiece display, yes... Used to decorate the table and then picked up when the plates are set out, yes.... Even if there were paper napkins in the middle, I would have assumed that a napkin sitting beside my plate in a napkin ring was meant for me to use. :iagree: That is completely bizarre! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted August 5, 2009 Share Posted August 5, 2009 I think there were paper napkins on the center of the table that I should have intuitively known were for my personal use. Maybe she should have set the table with the tablecloth and antique napkins and put a glass covering over the table so I could SEE, but not destroy her heirlooms ... LOL! Then we could have the discussion about using paper napkins at all.:D Methinks *her* etiquette could use some spiffing up! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted August 5, 2009 Share Posted August 5, 2009 Maybe ask them what they think napkins are for? What they think the proper etiquette for wiping your face is? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hornblower Posted August 5, 2009 Share Posted August 5, 2009 this is very bizarre. Napkins are meant to be used in my world. Paper ones are sometimes provided for extra messy things as an additional back up so you don't mess up the one on your lap. But. On the other hand, this is something I've wondered about. I recently got out my great grandmother's embroidered placemats and napkins, thinking my boys are old enough and civilized enough to not completely ruin them. But then I realized that it sure seemed like they'd never been used. Then that got me to wondering how, back in the olden days, people cleaned white napkins, before all the super duper cleaning products we have. 1. Esp if they're linen (as opposed to cotton) you boil them. You need a trivet or a metal screen at the bottom of the pot so they don't lay right on the bottom and possibly scorch, then you pile them in & boil the suckers. This works with good cotton too but you'll get shrinkage. Of course if they're old & were used, they've probably already been boiled :D 1. Dry in the sun. 3. Starch them - the starch works a bit like a protective coating. Of course a bit of bleach or borax also helps. If it's on a napkin with colored embroidery, you dab dilute bleach on with a q-tip on the stain. My mom uses a lot of antique linens. Key word - 'uses'. They're on the table & meant to be used :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyof4ks Posted August 5, 2009 Share Posted August 5, 2009 but then again, I don't even own a cloth napkin. I've also never heard of BYON (bring your own napkin) which I guess is what you would have had to do to be able to wipe your mouth. I always thought it was bad manners to sit there with food on your face. :lol: :iagree: That's a new one for me too! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nicole M Posted August 5, 2009 Share Posted August 5, 2009 this is very bizarre. Napkins are meant to be used in my world. Paper ones are sometimes provided for extra messy things as an additional back up so you don't mess up the one on your lap. 1. Esp if they're linen (as opposed to cotton) you boil them. You need a trivet or a metal screen at the bottom of the pot so they don't lay right on the bottom and possibly scorch, then you pile them in & boil the suckers. This works with good cotton too but you'll get shrinkage. Of course if they're old & were used, they've probably already been boiled :D 1. Dry in the sun. 3. Starch them - the starch works a bit like a protective coating. Of course a bit of bleach or borax also helps. If it's on a napkin with colored embroidery, you dab dilute bleach on with a q-tip on the stain. My mom uses a lot of antique linens. Key word - 'uses'. They're on the table & meant to be used :-) Ah-ha! Yes, the ones I have are linen. I have always dried my wash on the line, so knew about sun bleaching, but did not know about the boiling, starch and q-tip secrets. Thanks. Now I can use white napkins for greasy holiday dinners and not worry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacia Posted August 5, 2009 Share Posted August 5, 2009 I always thought it was bad manners to sit there with food on your face. :lol: I thought that's what the tablecloth is for.... ;) :lol: (And, I agree w/ the others. If it was beside your plate, I would have assumed it was for your use. I've never actually heard of napkins being 'off-limits'.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted August 5, 2009 Share Posted August 5, 2009 I have heard that the first level of defense was to wash them by scrubbing them with homemade soap, and then boiling them, and then if the stains still did not come out, putting lemon juice on the stains and putting the napkins outside flat toward the sun, like on tops of bushes instead of on a clothes line. Another trick was to pour boiling water straight out of the tea kettle through the cloth, from the underside. This was to hopefully wash the stain off before it permeated through the fabric. It would be done with the material stretched tautly over a bowl to catch the boiling water. If a napkin is part of a place setting, it is ridiculous to expect it not to be used. In fact, it should be removed from the ring and placed on the guest's lap in advance of starting the meal. However, it's also true that in general, good manners calls for pretty much avoiding getting food onto one's mouth or hands, so the use of napkins for wiping is minimal at a proper meal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pajama Mama Posted August 5, 2009 Share Posted August 5, 2009 Re Etiquette - As a guest - is it bad manners to use an antique napkin that is set out next to your dinner plate? I recently ate at my aunts house and she and my mom were slack jawed when I whipped the napkin out of the napkin ring and wiped my mouth with it - I felt like a horses behind - I probably ruined her antique napkin. I never heard of such a thing though - decorative napkins? Sheesh! :001_huh: I've never heard of such a thing either. Maybe it's like the rose-shaped soaps or the "good towels" in my grandma's bathroom that you never use. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5KidzRUs Posted August 5, 2009 Author Share Posted August 5, 2009 I've never heard of such a thing either. Maybe it's like the rose-shaped soaps or the "good towels" in my grandma's bathroom that you never use. I think that you are right - MAYBE it is a generational thing. I can not even imagine having soap on my bathroom counter that they are not allowed to touch - it would be half used and muddy in no time! :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxMom Posted August 5, 2009 Share Posted August 5, 2009 This makes me giggle. I can just see the looks of horror. But. On the other hand, this is something I've wondered about. I recently got out my great grandmother's embroidered placemats and napkins, thinking my boys are old enough and civilized enough to not completely ruin them. But then I realized that it sure seemed like they'd never been used. Then that got me to wondering how, back in the olden days, people cleaned white napkins, before all the super duper cleaning products we have. We only use cloth, but I buy dark colors that don't show stains. How did / do people clean the nice white ones? Did they just not use them? This is a great mystery. They had bleach, dried things in the sun, used bluing to keep them from looking dingy... they also had a much different menu, no red sauce or barbecue. Our "everyday" napkins are either dark, nifty quilting fabrics (made by me) or white "hotel" napkins that are sturdy and come clean pretty readily. My vintage napkins are for special occasions but, when I put them out, I fully intend that they will be used. I am certainly no Letitia Baldridge (I own a 1970's version of her Amy Vanderbilt book, though) but I'm pretty certain that it would be considered bad etiquette to place items on a dining table that were not intended for use by the diners. :001_huh: (We will overlook the part where your napkin was still in the ring when you had a need for its use. ;)) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jayne J Posted August 6, 2009 Share Posted August 6, 2009 My goodness, how rude of you! What did you do next-- eat the food on the plate??!!! Some people have no manners...;):D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginevra Posted August 6, 2009 Share Posted August 6, 2009 I've never heard of such a thing either. Maybe it's like the rose-shaped soaps or the "good towels" in my grandma's bathroom that you never use. __________________ Meh. I have no use for such things. If they are too good to use, there is no purpose in having them. I have run into that oddity with the "fancy" handtowels that are the only handtowels available. What else are you supposed to dry your hands on? I just use the towels and figure if my host is offended, we're even. They gave me something to "use" that was not actually to use, so they are the horse's behind for being so vain. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.