Am I screwing up my kids?

[Pamela H in Texas]

Lisa,

 

My original response wasn't very short (and it didn't go through; browser freaked). Guess this one isn't either!

 

Basically, I'm not against homeschooling at all; and seriously, I am EXTREMELY tolerant of learning differences, goal differences, style differences, focus differences. In fact, I have to be as they all fit MY FAMILY.

 

However, my experience in recent years has been that the great majority of homeschoolers, at least in this area (and a few others I'm aware of), are simply neglecting homeschooling altogether. It's not that they unschool or focus on spirituality instead. It isn't that they focus on extracurriculars or jobs over academics. It isn't that they are happy with what they are doing to their kids academically, discipline wise, etc. It just is and they don't fix it! "something" comes up every week why school can't get done. The kids end up years and years behind in ability. They refuse to do the work (sometimes moms do it for them) for 4-H, co-ops, private school classes. Getting out of mom's hair for a little while is more important than them actually learning Biology or Spanish or Writing...and unfortunately, these are teens, not littles! These parents are simply neglecting the whole child (mental, emotional, spiritual, academic, social), not educating any part of them.

 

Hey, I've known some great homeschoolers and NONE of them have homeschooled for academic reasons or had extreme academic results (in either direction, btw). They, like us, DO homeschool the whole child. They, like us, DO believe other aspects of life are much more important than academics. They have used a couple different styles between them. My family has used a couple styles (dependent on child, age, circumstances).

 

I don't know what it is but homeschooling just isn't happening here. Maybe the new group of homeschoolers here will do better, but the majority I have known here are definitely the bad apples of homeschooling. Sadly, there have been similar reports from other areas also.

Edited July 26, 2009 by 2J5M9K

[Joy at Home]

Oh, Pamela, thanks for your response. I was truly curious. I don't really belong to any homeschooling groups around here, and can't really gauge academically how they're doing on the whole. Reading some of these posts I was starting to wonder if I'M doing enough. Thanks for putting my mind at ease:D.

 

Honestly, I tend to be relaxed, especially in the early years. But there's a difference between having a certain philosophy and just not giving your kids tools to succeed as they get older.

 

Thanks so much for your input! By the way, I was on your site and your school looks awesome!! Good for you!

 

Blessings,

Lisa

[Pamela H in Texas]

Thanks Lisa. I wondered if I were clear. :)

 

And thanks about the school. I'm excited for next month! :)

[Debbie in OR]

Any chance he wants to give my 3rd grader a scholarship to save her from being homeschooled??;) She is heading to ps next year because I need a break for a year and I cant afford private. There isn't a classical school near-by though and that is too bad. Someday I will start one though! Maybe he can help with fundraising for a Classical Christian school in the state capitol!:D

 

:lol: If only you were a little closer, you, too, could join in the fun!

[Debbie in OR]

Why is this person interfering in your life????

 

And why is there this idea that if a kid doesn't get math in HIS classroom, that child can not and will not ever understand math anywhere else.

 

This just pisses me off!

 

At this point I would take a break from this person and politely decline to discuss school anymore.

 

Honestly, the more I think about it - especially that last email about how the "other family" took the money and will be saved by it.....this isn't about education and it's not about the kids...

 

This is about CONTROLLING YOU.

 

Back away from the computer and give this person a back seat in your life, pronto!

 

So, tell me how you REALLY feel! :lol:

 

I did wind up emailing him and telling him that I was choosing to interpret his email as sincere concern for his great-niece and nephew, and that we were actively working to not be part of those statistics. He wrote back that he was not at all concerned for our kids.

 

I can see now just how disappointed he was about our decision. But now that I've recovered, this has actually turned out to be a great tool for clarifying and reassessing our goals and methods. I am more determined than ever to pursue excellence.

 

Thanks again for all the input...I read carefully each post and greatly appreciate the wisdom and encouragement.

Edited July 26, 2009 by Debbie in OR
grammar thingy