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Okay, no passing the bean dip on this one...


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I need real responses to respond to someone who thinks HS is absolutely ignorant. Do you have a great response to shut people up? The ones who think being in a PS 8 hours a day is VITAL for a child's development?

 

I haven't read all the responses on this, but...

 

This sounds exactly like my MIL. She is an elementary special ed teacher in a PS. Last year (and before that) she would go on and on about the importance of PS. We started talking up homeschool when Jared was 2 or 2 1/2. By the time he was 4, it was obvious to us that homeschool would be the best choice for him, at least for the first few years.

 

MIL told us every reason she could think of that this would be bad...we were going to ruin our children...they would become social outcasts...I couldn't possibly teach them properly without a degree...etc, etc, etc. Both she and my FIL were distraught over our choice, even with us telling them all the (valid) reasons for keeping the kids home.

 

Fast forward a year and you wouldn't know she felt this way last year. Now she brags on the kids to her teaching team, is impressed with their reading and math, and on and on. She has never come out and apologized for acting the way she did toward us, but now she has a different view of homeschooling.

 

So I guess in our situation, we just trudged along and dealt with the criticism until we had proved to her that the kids are not getting a "good enough" PS education, but an outstanding education from home.

 

She still brings me things from PS (old textbooks that the school is getting rid of, for example) or from the store, but now she does it in a positive way instead of trying to get us to follow what the government schools are teaching. I sort of like getting this stuff because it enables me to really compare what we are doing to the grade level of the local PS system.

 

I hope you have as much success with this as we have had. :)

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Guest Barb B
I noticed you are from Texas. To be a complete a** you could say "I have a higher standard of education than a state whose public schools rank 33rd in a Nation that ranks 15th in the world!". But that is if you want to be an a**.:blush:

:iagree:I am from Texas too. Except for some reason those in the public school system seem to think the schools here are wonderful:tongue_smilie:. I just don't get it!

 

My response would depend on who the guy is in my life: a close "friend", a neighbor, or what? Basically if he kept at it - I wouldn't see any reason to even talk to the guy. You know - He is no friend of yours, he is just rude and ignorant.

 

Also, even if he is a close friend - IT IS NONE OF HIS BUSINESS!

 

Barb

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ugh.

 

I had a male teacher treat me the same way when I pulled my oldest dd from school. He was her music teacher, and she was his favorite student. He was actually ANGRY that I was pulling her out. He told me in no uncertain terms that I was ruining her, and she would lose every chance she had at being a community leader...which only the public school environment could foster. :confused: He also had to guts to tell me that we'd give up on it and have her back in PS within a year, and she'd just be behind.

 

It shook me, especially since I was venturing into unknown territory. I knew NO ONE who homeschooled. I have to say I gracefully exited the conversation and room, but I was fuming!!

 

I would hate to have to encounter someone like that regularly....I would have a hard time keeping my grace! lol.

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Since snarky remarks probably aren't going to sway her, I'd turn it back around on her.

 

And your remarks are based on what research? When she stammers out the typical lame "the NEA says so", lol....I'd tell her that part of what I hope to teach my children is that just because someone else says that something is so, doesn't mean that they should agree with it. That my children would be expected to research the facts and many differing opinions to come up with their OWN opinion especially if they were going to spout that opinion to others.

 

And if that line of reasoning didn't work, I'd probably have to get snarky and tell her that part of the reason I DO homeschool is to keep my children away from uninformed ignorant people pretending to know more than they do, like her. Said with a sweet smile, lol.

 

Seriously......I tend to just let this type of discussion slide. And now that my kids are older I also tend to let them be my pudding as in "proof is in the pudding" by saying "Have you met MY children and can still have that misguided opinion?"

 

I like to think that I'm open minded enough to accept that not every family would benefit from homeschooling, and that public schools do serve a useful purpose to many. Not all teachers have that open mind though. Many teachers that I have met are open minded enough to realize that for many families homeschooling is a good thing, but of course there are other teachers who either are ignorant about what homeschooling really is, or more likely like this particular teacher, afraid that if enough parents homeschool she'll be out of a job! To be honest I think most of the NEA's argument are borne out of this fear, because I just cannot see their arguments when looking at my family or the other HS families with whom we have regular contact. I have yet to find anything significant that the NEA argues I'm not capable of doing at home just as well, though perhaps differently, than at public school. I do see a few families that are struggling, but then I look at some of the kids in public school and see year after year they are failing, or is it that the system is failing them? Our state recently reported the results of the AIMS test and are all excited because the scores are higher.....but they are still on the border of failing! This is something that I would NOT be proud of if they were MY children's results. I'd definitely be feeling like I had failed my child. Thankfully my children's test scores are well above the public schools so that bolsters my confidence that I'm doing good by them.

 

I have two relatives who are career teachers....both fully support our decision to homeschool and while sometimes they voice concerns in particular areas, which I'm grateful for the "outside" perspective, they feel that I've done better for my children than the public schools ever could. And when I was first homeschooling and the rhetoric was about how parents haven't been trained as teachers and I was concerned about my abilities to even know if I wasn't doing a good enough job, they both, separately, had lengthy discussions with me about the types of courses they took to earn their teaching degree. It had a lot to do with educational theory and mostly to do with classroom management than it did with day to day lessons. They both separately expressed to me that a teaching degree would be mostly wasted in a home environment. One specifically said that if I had children who struggled or had special needs, then at that point some of their training in understanding different theory and methods of teaching might be useful, but that there is so much literature available to help me understand the specifics of the child in question (and mind you this was many years ago there is more now!). And every special needs parent I know has spend hundreds of hours researching their child's needs and how best to serve them, so I certainly haven't seen any evidence of any special needs kids being failed by homeschooling. If anything, I've seen many success stories because the parent can take the time and effort to cater to that child specifically, whereas expecting that from a public school with however many other children in the classroom is simply not realistic. But that's also not to say that all special needs kids would do better at home....it depends on the kid.

 

I'm sorry that this teacher's comments got to you. Confidence in your own abilities is something that does take time, but when in doubt, I found that going to family and friends for a fresh perspective was very helpful, but only if they were willing to give me details and suggestions rather than simply calling my methods ignorant. That is worthless. And as I said, I didn't always get all glowing reports when I asked for evaluations.....but what I did receive was always helpful to me to see where improvement was possible. I can't honestly say that I've been able to make all the improvements, but then tell me what school has a perfect program either.

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I don't get challenged generally on the boys' education. They're both going to be in middle school this year, and the school we're zoned for has a less than stellar :glare: reputation in the community. So when asked why we HS them, we simply say "we're zoned for XYZ middle school; middle school in general is awful, and well...."

 

It's Dot that we are challenged on constantly it seems. SIL is convinced that she needs to be in a classroom because she tends to have tantrums and refuse to cooperate when challenged. Teachers tend to insist that YES, our school CAN teach her, that "reading level isn't everything" and "she can't possibly understand what she's reading at that level." :glare:

 

While our local middle school is horrid, the elementary school is very good. If she were not academically accelerated two years beyond her chronological grade level, we would have sent her there. But we would have to enroll her as a first grader to have a chance of her core subjects not being a waste of time for a year, despite the fact she's still five and that darn asynchronous development means she's not mature enough for a fist grade classroom in a public school. (I tend to believe that in the younger grades the schools blatently ignore known facts of child development and have unreasonable expectations, but that's another soapbox altogether.) Oh, and our county doesn't have anything in place for gifted children until third grade. So for three years she would be in a standard classroom.

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I need real responses to respond to someone who thinks HS is absolutely ignorant. Do you have a great response to shut people up? The ones who think being in a PS 8 hours a day is VITAL for a child's development?

 

OP, can you elaborate on what exactly the person's concern with HS is? What is ignorant? You? All of us? The isolation? I need to know what he considers ignorant before I can answer.

 

Also, I am curious, like others, who this person is to you that you feel you must defend yourself to him. I mean is he someone influential in your children's life? Because if he's just someone you sat next to at a dinner party, well, really, who cares?

 

We've had posts on this board where a homeschool mom was upset because the cashier at Walmart made a snide comment about homeschooling. I have received almost no negative feedback in my five years of homeschooling, but once I did get a little sass from a guy who took my order at a pizza place. I mean, seriously, who cares?

 

So, if you can tell us a little more...

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I am betting this person is very young, unmarried, and has no kids. I'd be surprised if he's an older gent with kids.

 

Just got married last month...rather young, 25

 

 

OP, can you elaborate on what exactly the person's concern with HS is? What is ignorant? You? All of us? The isolation? I need to know what he considers ignorant before I can answer.

 

Also, I am curious, like others, who this person is to you that you feel you must defend yourself to him. I mean is he someone influential in your children's life? Because if he's just someone you sat next to at a dinner party, well, really, who cares?

 

We've had posts on this board where a homeschool mom was upset because the cashier at Walmart made a snide comment about homeschooling. I have received almost no negative feedback in my five years of homeschooling, but once I did get a little sass from a guy who took my order at a pizza place. I mean, seriously, who cares?

 

So, if you can tell us a little more...

 

This is a member of DH family, whom DH insists on having around. DH won't defend HS, he just says "well, I guess there are pros and cons to everything". Then, this guy waits to corner me. LOL

 

It is all okay now. I don't really care what he says. I imagine he has seen some homeschooling gone bad situation and is judging on those. He is truly ignorant to the truth and nothing I am going to say can change that. So, if he brings it up again I will just laugh, change the subject, and move on.

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Just got married last month...rather young, 25

 

 

 

 

This is a member of DH family, whom DH insists on having around. DH won't defend HS, he just says "well, I guess there are pros and cons to everything". Then, this guy waits to corner me. LOL

 

It is all okay now. I don't really care what he says. I imagine he has seen some homeschooling gone bad situation and is judging on those. He is truly ignorant to the truth and nothing I am going to say can change that. So, if he brings it up again I will just laugh, change the subject, and move on.

I have to admit to some self-pleasure. Keeping the smiles on, ask what he means. Then say, "Well that hasn't been my experience at all. I have seen....list the positive." Everything he comes up with, do the same. Or, you could say (since he's Dh desired attendant), "You should take that up with dh. He agrees we should be home schooling" and disappear into the kitchen!

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I haven't read any of the other responses, but I like to tell rude people that my children are statistically smarter than theirs.....and I have the test scores to prove it. Here is a link to an article at HSLDA that states this as well...only in a nicer way.

 

Sorry if this is rude, but I just can't stand people saying this about homeschooling. It annoys me that the average parent spends more time watching tv per week than they do with their child and I get to be lectured about how I'm doing my children a disservice by providing them the best education possible and keeping them from "hanging with children at school". I've worked in public schools and students spend maybe 30 minutes a day actively playing with other children. The rest is spent in the classroom and children can learn cooperation at home by being part of a family unit just as well as in school.

 

It also baffles me that people who ask me how I could possibly want to be around my chlidren all the time get to tell me that homeschooling is wrong. Just because it's wrong for them because they dislike their children.....doesn't make it wrong for me.

 

Okay....I'm rambling. Can you tell this is a touchy subject for me? I'm going to take some Midol and eat some chocolate right now.

 

Blessings,

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I use the 'Flying Monkeys' response, personally. But since its a family member, that probably won't work :lol:

 

I'd stick with refusing to discuss it, and in my head stash it under the same file that advice from unmarried non parents give about pregnancy, childbirth, parenting, and marriage...File 13 :D

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Just got married last month...rather young, 25

 

This is a member of DH family, whom DH insists on having around. DH won't defend HS, he just says "well, I guess there are pros and cons to everything". Then, this guy waits to corner me. LOL

 

It is all okay now. I don't really care what he says. I imagine he has seen some homeschooling gone bad situation and is judging on those. He is truly ignorant to the truth and nothing I am going to say can change that. So, if he brings it up again I will just laugh, change the subject, and move on.

 

i'd still hit him w/ both barrels. ;)

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I did everything I could to praise public school and emphasize that this is what *we* feel is best.

I just think there is no changing his opinion. Since he is a PS teacher, he definitely feels it is a personal attack to HS my children.

 

This was your first mistake. When I run across this type I make them defend public school. I make them defend drugs, premarital sex, gangs, rude students, failing standards, teachers who are functional illiterates. they cannot stand up to this argument because it is true.

Yes it is a personal assault on PS teachers when we homeschool, but this is because they are part of a failing system and rather than fight against it they defend it.

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This was your first mistake. When I run across this type I make them defend public school. I make them defend drugs, premarital sex, gangs, rude students, failing standards, teachers who are functional illiterates. they cannot stand up to this argument because it is true.

Yes it is a personal assault on PS teachers when we homeschool, but this is because they are part of a failing system and rather than fight against it they defend it.

 

I'm not the OP, but I'm too chicken to do this. To me, it would be rude. But, OTOH, types like this seem to feel no shame in being rude to me!

 

You are brave to do this. I wish I could do this with skill and grace. It's something I should work on.

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I would be dumbfounded if a PS teacher said that to me. My first reaction would be, "And why then is there so much emphasis on testing in the public schools?"

 

Testing is such a huge deal in my state, at least, that I do not think a PS teacher would say that.

 

If I WERE asked, I would say that I know my children are learning because (1) they are able to narrate, write summaries, and analyze material we are studying, (2) that I regularly see them apply that knowledge outside of "school time," and (3) achievement testing shows regular snapshots of skills learned and areas needing improvement.

 

I have always tested, and I would test even if it were not required. I believe that tests like Iowa/CAT/etc. provide valuable information to the teacher. I pore over my children's tests before I send them off and make extensive notes on areas missed, as well as noting areas of excellence.

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Ditto here. Even school teachers that have met my children have been impressed. My eldest was offered the possibility of assisting in an elementary science class.

 

Funny thing, he had the idea that homeschoolers are taught to the test or to take tests and that the public schools actually "teach". He has it backwards.

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If it is a stranger I do the silent treatment thing. I have done it before to people who made comments to me in the store after hearing we homeschool.

 

To be a complete a** you could say ...

 

For this, when I'm feeling like an a**, I put a really confused look on my face and ask "I'm sorry, who are you and why do I care what you think?"

 

What fun ... not.

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This is a member of DH family, whom DH insists on having around. DH won't defend HS, he just says "well, I guess there are pros and cons to everything". Then, this guy waits to corner me. LOL

 

 

 

It sounds to me like your dh has the perfect answer. I would just say "well, I guess there are pros and cons to everything" and wait for him to corner someone else.

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By the way, this is a public school teacher.

 

Oh well in that case... whatever it is you do say, make sure you use little words and talk slowly. Something along the lines of "which part of 'get your nose out of my business' do you need me to explain to you?"

Edited by Audrey
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Very good suggestions. I did everything I could to praise public school and emphasize that this is what *we* feel is best. He (yes, a male) continued to spout off about Rhodes Scholars not being homeschooled and this stuff about homeschoolers being social mis-fits and so on. He said he think *I* have great children, but they are the exception, not the rule.

 

I just think there is no changing his opinion. Since he is a PS teacher, he definitely feels it is a personal attack to HS my children. He claims he has read Gatto's work (I offered to let him borrow mine) but I absolutely don't believe him.

 

 

Oh! It's a male teacher. In that case use even smaller words and talk even more slowly. (just kidding male persons!)

 

I admit I get extra snarky when people dare to challenge my choice to homeschool. I did once have a male co-worker who challenged me, my response was "Well, I'll tell you what... I'll whip out my Ph.D. and you can whip out whatever little ol' thing you've got. Then we can see who's short of qualifications. 'Kay?" ;)

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Ummmm, many Americans, including our founding fathers, various Presidents and other high level executives were homeschooled, even up through the first half of the 20th century. Homeschooling is still widely accepted for the rich and famous. Why should everyone from the middle class downward be tied to public education?

 

Public schools were formed to train the masses to be compliant for factory level jobs. Is that what this person wants for their child? If so, then public school is fine and dandy. I'm perfectly happy that they should sacrifice their own flesh and blood on this alter. I just don't expect them to require that I do the same.

 

If, however, this person hopes for an education that might teach his child to think, then public schooling is not the ticket - in most places (there are always some exceptions).

 

As for socialization, there could be no more artificial sort of environment than being warehoused for 7 hours, 5 days per week with 30 other kids of all the same age, with only one or two adults to herd them around. Where else in the world does one find this sort of environment? Not even in the factory of today, I contend....

 

Certainly those who homeschool and never allow their children to interact with others are doing them a disservice. However, this is not the case for the vast majority of homeschoolers, who often complain that they're never "home" long enough to get all their written work done - this because they seek out so many social activities with other homeschoolers.

 

And homeschool group activities tend to generally include a wide range of ages and abilities, as well as a wide mixture of adult age ranges and backgrounds. This sort of socialization is much, MUCH more like what most people will find in most places where they might live, work, play, etc. as adults.

 

It shouldn't take anything more than blatent common sense (although many today do not possess a whit of this) to be able to see that this last scenario is the one that will prove more serviceable to anyone once they enter the real world, as it is an actual accurate representation of the real world.....

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Wow, some folks are just really hard to deal with...I'd say something along the lines of "I appreciate your opinion, but I'm afraid we're going to have to agree to disagree."

 

As far traditional school versus homeschooling goes I think there are obviously some really awful public schools out there. However, I also think that there are some folks homeschooling out there who, although I'm sure they have the best interests of their children at heart, I don't believe have rigorous enough standards (in other words, are providing their own children with a poor quality education). In both cases, any one bad can egg tarnish the reputation of the whole bunch.

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