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I don't mean right at this very second, situationally happy or not . . . the water heater just exploded or something and you are not happy OR you just won the lottery and you can't help but be happy. I mean, in general, are you happy? Whether or not this is where you *thought* you'd be, do you find satisfaction in your situation (Catholics: read vocation).

 

Overall, are you happy? Do you find it difficult to find joy in your everyday life?

 

Just curious/;)

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I'm in a good stage of life right now - happy marriage, children who are at really fun, entertaining states (21, 11, 11) and I like my job (homemaking) most days. I am at a stage where my health is good and I have sufficient time to myself to read and think.

 

 

Incidentally, protestants talk in terms of "vocation" too.

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I find joy in most days ..but I think it all has to do with my attitude.

 

Dh is deployed but safe. He provides and excellent income for our family.

DD 20 in Kuwait working...she's safe and saving her money. DD 19 is working at a job that's her passion. She happy and safe. DS 11 is doing great in homeschooling 6th grade. Our dog is healthy and a pleasure to have around. I feel abundantly blessed and happy most days...just wish I had a couple more hours in each day for more stuff. :001_smile:

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On the whole, yes, I think I am. Things are really busy and hectic for me, but for the most part, I am happy where I am. I am doing just what I wanted to do-homemaker and home educator. There are definitely days where I want to run screaming away from it all (see my siggy for the kids' ages), but I wouldn't have things any other way.

 

It wasn't always that way, though. I knew this was the life I had wanted/planned, but wasn't always happy with it or my marriage. I spent about two years on medication and therapy. After that, I worked and am working on my attitude and it has helped tremendously. :001_smile:

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In general, yes. I love my husband, my family, and what I do. I love where we live. We do have the small problem just now of not having had any income for several months, though, so that's getting pretty stressful. I'm mostly happy anyway, but I sure hope that changes soon. This week would be good.

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Yes, I am happy.

If I think about where my life was 15 years ago and how unfulfilled I was then this life that I have now is a dream come true. I like who I am and I love my family. There are always things that could be better, but I am very happy with who I am and my life.

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Mostly. Drives my hubby nuts - he is more of a morose worrier of what life is supposed to be like. I do not feel like wasting my time being miserable about stuff I can not alter.

:iagree:Same here. I'm happy, but my dh dwells on thinks he really can't change and thinks about them all. the. time. Drives me nuts! I wonder if men are wired up this way? This does cause me lots of stress. If something bad is going to happen-so be it. But I can't think about about what could happen all the time. I like to enjoy the time at hand.

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My husband is a very joyful, happy person. He works hard and I am not saying that is life is easy or without stresses, and he gets WAY more upset than i do about problems with our oldest child. But he is a much, much more positive, fun loving person than I am. He laughs more than anyone I know except for his mother who is the same as him and has laughed her way through some very very hard and sad circumstances.

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My husband is a very joyful, happy person. He works hard and I am not saying that is life is easy or without stresses, and he gets WAY more upset than i do about problems with our oldest child. But he is a much, much more positive, fun loving person than I am. He laughs more than anyone I know except for his mother who is the same as him and has laughed her way through some very very hard and sad circumstances.

Your very blessed.

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Interesting post, as I've just been contemplating this same thought. I have everything that matters most--wonderful husband, four terrific kids, a faith in God, freedom, a comfortable house, car & good enough 'fixins'...yet I am not as happy as I ought to be! I find myself down or grumpy way too often--and I want to be more joyful and happy. That's the kind of person I WANT to be...but I'm just too tired & worn out to be her!

 

I often wonder if I'm depressed & need to go on medication...but procrastinate the trip to the doctor. How do I know when it's bad enough for that? On the other hand, I think part of my problem is I am so lonely...a few long-distance friends, a few local "hi, how are you" friends, but lacking a close best kind of friend, ykwim? It seems it would make all the difference just to have someone who knows me well & with whom I can be myself with. Thank goodness for sweet hubby...

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:iagree:Same here. I'm happy, but my dh dwells on thinks he really can't change and thinks about them all. the. time. Drives me nuts! I wonder if men are wired up this way? This does cause me lots of stress. If something bad is going to happen-so be it. But I can't think about about what could happen all the time. I like to enjoy the time at hand.

 

Funny you should say this. It's not a man thing. I think it just has to do with personality. I'm the crazy worrier here, and my DH is very carefree and happy all the time. It drives me nuts that he is this way sometimes (and I know I drive him nuts with my what ifs). :D

 

We fit together so well. It's pretty crazy though because we are polar opposites personality wise.

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Oh...and I'm very happy with life. I love my DH, my kiddos, and being a SAHM. I enjoy educating the kids as well. It's really a lot of fun for me (never thought I'd say this). I have days just like anyone else with 6 kids does. Sometimes I want to run for the hills, but overall I'm very happy.

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This is an interesting question. I am usually not a happy person. I was listening to Dennis Prager's happiness hour one day where he talked about some people needing excitement. They confuse excitement with happiness. I had such a light bulb moment listening to that show. I really am that type of person. I'm now trying to find happiness in my everyday life. Not an easy thing to do for me. Everything is always the same and I need to be happy with that.

 

My life is very boring but I should be thankful and joyful anyway because I am living the life that I want.

 

I hope some of this made sense :001_smile:

 

Kelly

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Thank you ! Every so much appreciate that !

 

But I don't want anybody thinking that I'm moping in the corner, weeping, glaring with my lower jaw stuck out, or any other such thing. We have horrendous debts which continue to mount up. There are many medical needs (not "wants") and house repairs (again, not "wants") which we do without, praying that we pull through. Hoping to pay for college is a unkind cosmic joke, with two trying to transition from CC to 4-year school, another in high school, and one more younger.

 

Infinitely much to be grateful for, as God is neverendingly generous ! But these worldly problems are real, and large. I'm not a good enough person to rejoice in all circumstances, as we [Christians, I mean] are called to do. Resignation to "that's just how things go" is so much better than being angry or depressed. I never have been either a quitter, or someone who rolls up into a little ball. I keep going. I never forget how my circumstances look like heavenly bliss, set next to problems faced by the rest of the world !

 

I haven't expressed this very well.

 

:grouphug:
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Interesting post, as I've just been contemplating this same thought. I have everything that matters most--wonderful husband, four terrific kids, a faith in God, freedom, a comfortable house, car & good enough 'fixins'...yet I am not as happy as I ought to be! I find myself down or grumpy way too often--and I want to be more joyful and happy. That's the kind of person I WANT to be...but I'm just too tired & worn out to be her!

 

I often wonder if I'm depressed & need to go on medication...but procrastinate the trip to the doctor. How do I know when it's bad enough for that? On the other hand, I think part of my problem is I am so lonely...a few long-distance friends, a few local "hi, how are you" friends, but lacking a close best kind of friend, ykwim? It seems it would make all the difference just to have someone who knows me well & with whom I can be myself with. Thank goodness for sweet hubby...

 

I can SO relate to this post (except there are 6 dc :001_smile:). I WANT to be joyful. I certainly SHOULD be joyful, as I am abundantly blessed! But, I also feel too stressed and worn-out most days to really relax and be happy. I do blame myself for that. It really is all about MY attitude!

 

Kim

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Happy. No.

 

I have nothing to be particularly unhappy about, but I am unhappy.

 

I feel very restless.

I feel defeated.

I feel overwhelmed.

I feel alone.

 

My kids have noticed that I don't laugh and smile as much as I used to.

 

I could go on and on, but I will just leave it at that.

 

I just wanted to post to let other unhappy people that they are not alone.

 

 

 

K

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Hmmmm.....I think I am.....DH might disagree! :tongue_smilie:

 

I LOVE my family and wouldn't want any other family. I have struggled the last few years as I have moved from the West Coast to the East Coast and miss the West a lot. I also went from working part time as a school counselor to staying at home all the time. Both of these were very hard for me.

 

I have so much to be thankful for and be happy about. But I still find room to complain....

 

Sigh.....something I need to work on.

 

Dawn

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This is how I am too....I am a goal setter and people used to often say, "You don't let the grass grow under your feet do you?"

 

Now I feel like the grass is overgrown and it is painful for me.

 

My current goal is to stay home and homeschool.......blah.....any mom can do that.....horrible for me to say, but that is how I often feel.

 

When I finished high school my goal was to get through college. When I finished college it was grad school. When I finished grad school it was another grad school degree.....if it didn't have to do with school, it was about my career. You get the picture.

 

It is hard, hard, hard for me to stay home and homeschool.

 

Dawn

 

This is an interesting question. I am usually not a happy person. I was listening to Dennis Prager's happiness hour one day where he talked about some people needing excitement. They confuse excitement with happiness. I had such a light bulb moment listening to that show. I really am that type of person. I'm now trying to find happiness in my everyday life. Not an easy thing to do for me. Everything is always the same and I need to be happy with that.

 

My life is very boring but I should be thankful and joyful anyway because I am living the life that I want.

 

I hope some of this made sense :001_smile:

 

Kelly

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So much happier than I was about 20 mos. ago when my dh had lost his job and my mother was getting ready to move in with us. Dh has been in a great job for more than a year and my mother just moved out! Life is good.

 

Aside from that, even when life is difficult I try for gratitude. Life is what you make it.

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I've been thinking a lot about this too and was contemplating posting about it. In general, I am sort of happy and sort of not, but the last few years have been worse than ever. I'm definitely a more pessimistic person (both sides of my extended family are generally the same--hard to fight the upbringing!), and my DH is a very positive, fun-loving guy. Lately I've been extremely unhappy because I'm very unhappy in my job and want to be home with the girls and caring for my home and husband, but we just can't quite seem to get there.

 

I know there's so much to find joy in in our lives, and on paper it all looks great, but there's this huge cloud hanging over us. It's not healthy to live this way, and I know that people in much, much worse circumstances still find joy in their lives. What's their secret??? I wish I knew *sigh* I think I'm going to make a spin-off post.

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What a wonderful attitude!

 

You are so right!

 

Dawn

 

Yes! I am happy. I take each day as a gift from God, knowing I came into this world with nothing and I'll leave with nothing. I can hardly believe all the ways that the Lord has blessed me.
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Overall, are you happy?
I am as happy as I make up my mind to be.

 

Do you find it difficult to find joy in your everyday life?
It is ridiculously easy to find joy in my everyday life if I simply choose to do so. Joy is a water faucet away.
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I think overall I am happy with what God has given me, a wonderful dh that does his best to provide yet still spend time with his family, 5 (almost 6) beautiful children that drive me crazy most days, and the sense of peace, knowing that even when things aren't so good there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I think where I'm not happy is the fact that we have been living in "limbo" for several years now and it is starting to take it's toll on me. We hurriedly bought our 1st house 1 1/2 years ago because the opportunity presented itself (I guess we were so tired of renting that we bought the first thing available). This has it's up side and it's down side. We live out of town on a dead end road, but the house needs a lot of work and we are getting tired of working on it already. Also, our church is 70 miles away, so we only get to go on Sunday mornings. This is a very hard one for me because we cannot get involved in church activities very often. Dh and I are trying to decide whether to move closer to church, and a town we like very much (which would mean trying to sell our house in this tough time, and also finding a new job for dh), or just staying put and trying to make this home/location work for our family. Sorry, now it sounds like I'm complaining. Life is good overall, just a few rough spots right now that I know will work out in God's time.

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I find joy in my everyday life.

 

BUT, I think joy is in finding contentment. And I think contentment is a choice.

 

It is a fool's paradise to believe joy without contentment exists. It is also in that same paradise that the lie exists that your discontent lies in your situation and that if the situation would change then you could be joyful.

 

 

I think if I focused on my worn out couches, or the fact that I have to scrub my kitchen floor DAILY, or that we haven't owned new clothing in about six years with the exception of underwear, or that we have $40K in school debt after having the military pay for almost $100K of it, I could be discontent and therefore unhappy. I could focus on that we are potentially preparing to bury our second child in the coming months..... And therefore lose all joy.

 

I think the fact that I focus on the fact that we HAVE a couch, or I HAVE a kitchen, or that we HAVE clothing, and that DH HAS an education to fall back on.... Or simply that I focus on the fact that I HAVE children, and I've been blessed with this baby, no matter how long, and I'm ALLOWED the blessing of homeschooling them, and that God's opinion is that they are a blessing and not a burden and I need to see with His eyes... Well, then that keeps me focused on being content and therefore capable of finding joy.

 

Sometimes a ministry (Catholic version - vocation/calling) isn't what you go out and seek. Sometimes it's what God lays before your feet. And you pick up that daily and carry it to the cross, and/or as your cross. And you serve others and in that servant's heart, you serve Him. And there awaits joy.

 

I can guarantee that if you cannot find joy it is because you cannot find contentment. And if you should seek contentment and pray for contentment (instead of a change of circumstance) you can find it and joy with it.

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Funny you should say this. It's not a man thing. I think it just has to do with personality. I'm the crazy worrier here, and my DH is very carefree and happy all the time. It drives me nuts that he is this way sometimes (and I know I drive him nuts with my what ifs). :D

 

We fit together so well. It's pretty crazy though because we are polar opposites personality wise.

 

Same here. My dh worries about NOTHING and is a free spirit. Drives ME nuts! It's hard carrying the weight of it all on my shoulders. He says I should just stop worrying and go with the flow, but in the next breath says if I wasn't the way I am we'd be living in the gutter!:lol: Probably would to.

 

No, I am not happy. I want to be. I want to find joy in where God has put me, but I am not there. I want to be joyful in being a housewife and mother, but on top of regular life with 7 dc and homeschooling, I have to work as well. I don't have peace that this is what God intended for me and my dc, but I don't know what would be His will for us.

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I find joy in my everyday life.

 

BUT, I think joy is in finding contentment. And I think contentment is a choice.

 

It is a fool's paradise to believe joy without contentment exists. It is also in that same paradise that the lie exists that your discontent lies in your situation and that if the situation would change then you could be joyful.

 

 

I think if I focused on my worn out couches, or the fact that I have to scrub my kitchen floor DAILY, or that we haven't owned new clothing in about six years with the exception of underwear, or that we have $40K in school debt after having the military pay for almost $100K of it, I could be discontent and therefore unhappy. I could focus on that we are potentially preparing to bury our second child in the coming months..... And therefore lose all joy.

 

I think the fact that I focus on the fact that we HAVE a couch, or I HAVE a kitchen, or that we HAVE clothing, and that DH HAS an education to fall back on.... Or simply that I focus on the fact that I HAVE children, and I've been blessed with this baby, no matter how long, and I'm ALLOWED the blessing of homeschooling them, and that God's opinion is that they are a blessing and not a burden and I need to see with His eyes... Well, then that keeps me focused on being content and therefore capable of finding joy.

 

Sometimes a ministry (Catholic version - vocation/calling) isn't what you go out and seek. Sometimes it's what God lays before your feet. And you pick up that daily and carry it to the cross, and/or as your cross. And you serve others and in that servant's heart, you serve Him. And there awaits joy.

 

I can guarantee that if you cannot find joy it is because you cannot find contentment. And if you should seek contentment and pray for contentment (instead of a change of circumstance) you can find it and joy with it.

 

Beautifully said, thank you.

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I am in the yes and no category as well...probably leaning more toward no. I guess I would put it that I am thankful and grateful, but not terribly happy.

 

My DH is quite unhappy in his current job and really hasn't had a ton of joy since we started having kids. I think the responsibility of it all weighs heavily on him. I try to make things easier, but at the end of the day I am tired as well...feeling like DH doesn't need me bothering him or complaining, but not really having the friends I need to vent to either. So, in a sense I feel sort of trapped and alone.

 

But I remind myself how much God has blessed me with and my beautiful children and that gives me peace.

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I can guarantee that if you cannot find joy it is because you cannot find contentment. And if you should seek contentment and pray for contentment (instead of a change of circumstance) you can find it and joy with it.

 

This is the crux of it. I don't have contentment and I am constantly praying for a change in circumstances rather than contentment where I am. I will make a concious effort to pray for contentment and release from worry.

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I find joy in my everyday life.

 

BUT, I think joy is in finding contentment. And I think contentment is a choice.

 

It is a fool's paradise to believe joy without contentment exists. It is also in that same paradise that the lie exists that your discontent lies in your situation and that if the situation would change then you could be joyful.

 

I think if I focused on my worn out couches, or the fact that I have to scrub my kitchen floor DAILY, or that we haven't owned new clothing in about six years with the exception of underwear, or that we have $40K in school debt after having the military pay for almost $100K of it, I could be discontent and therefore unhappy. I could focus on that we are potentially preparing to bury our second child in the coming months..... And therefore lose all joy.

 

I think the fact that I focus on the fact that we HAVE a couch, or I HAVE a kitchen, or that we HAVE clothing, and that DH HAS an education to fall back on.... Or simply that I focus on the fact that I HAVE children...

Right. This is what I conveyed above ~ albeit in minimalist fashion.;)
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(Cool song linked).

No. Although I was once the happiest person I knew for years.

I was grateful for small things, I could always see the silver lining, and more importantly - I had hope.

 

Some really bad things happened to me and I lost myself. But....

I am reclaiming the old me. I am moving home to my family, my friends, and my beach. I am getting rid of stuff (even sentimental crap that I have held onto for years and years). I am going to work with old people (either for money or voluntarily) because they need me and love me and I need them. I need to hear their stories and look into their old wise faces.

 

I am trying desperately to find the old me who was soooooooo happy.

The older I get, the harder it is to be hopeful and naive. But I can not let the past hurts and injustices keep my soul chained. As Tracy Chapman sings, "All that you have is your soul. Don't be tempted by the shiny apple; don't you eat of the bitter fruit...."

 

 

 

or Emmylou Harris

 

Edited by Karen sn
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Yes, I'm happy. When I have down times I see it as a reminder to count my blessings and the joy returns.

I too, have went through some very down times and wondered if I needed medication. But, by the help and grace of God, I figured out that I can control my feelings.

think positive= happy feelings

think negative= blue feelings

This formula has successfully brought me through some very trying stressful times with my joy full.

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I'm very happy in my life, despite the circumstances and worries that happen daily, I find joy in the little things. A beautiful evening sunset in all it's glory, the early morning sun rays on my living room floor as I open the shades, my four little ones climbing in bed with me in the morning for a quick snuggle, daily letters from my oldest daughter who is away at camp, picking fresh veggies and fruit from our gardens and orchards, cooking/baking new recipes, homeschooling lots of little ones. These are the daily moments in my life when I am just overcome with joy to The Lord for all the blessings I have in my life. I praise HIM and thank HIM constantly throughout my day, for all the wonderful things in my life !

 

Last year, was a very hard summer, this is my summer of immense joy ! We live on very modest income from just my husband's job, have a large family, lots of work on our farm and tons of bills. Last summer our water pipe broke causing us a $1,200 dollar water bill and another $ 2,000 in cost to fix it. Last summer our barn was damaged from storms and needed to be taken down and that was another $ 5,000 dollars plus long hours of labor by my husband. Last summer my sweet 19 year old daughter was diagnosed with ovarian cancer, it hit us so hard ! One thing after another came at us like waves from the ocean hitting the shoreline, one thing after another trying to knock us down and destroy our willpower. Each time we were knocked down, we stood back up stronger, ready to fight again.

 

We learned so much from that time last summer, we huddled together and we worked as a team to overcome anything set against us. We hit our knees in prayer, in fact, I spent most of my summer last year on my knees. My daughter struggled through two long surgeries and lots of recovery time throughout the summer to fight the cancer, to save her reproduction system, to save her life, she made it through and is now much stronger for it. Even though she has years of constant check up's and medical interventions ahead of her, she is so full of joy ! She is a fighter, just like we raised her, she won't let anything get her down. She is now living at summer camp working as a camp counselor and conquering all her fears and inhibitions.

 

She was once terribly afraid of heights and very shy, but signed up to be the high ropes course instructor and rock climbing wall instructor. She did it to challenge herself, to knock out her fears, to overcome anything that stood in her way. Her motto "Mountain Get Out of My Way" is her rally call now. She writes me daily through emails telling me about each new challenge she conquered and crossed off her list. She loves the high ropes course and rock climbing wall now, she feels empowered teaching and training her young charges about the ropes course and climbing wall. She learned that she absoultely loves teaching and working with children and her shyness totally disappeared since she moved into a leadership position. She is rid of that fear of heights, she conquered that foe, destroyed those doubts and demons. Daily she makes new goals for herself, challenging herself further, pushing herself harder. She is living her dreams and achieving everything she always wanted to do. She will return to college in the fall stronger and better for it with even more determination to make all her dreams come true, no matter what future may lay ahead of her.

 

I am so very proud of her, each day she strives to be more, do better and challenge herself further. I live in her shadows, covering her in constant prayer, pressing her on, supporting her and always, always, there for her in case she falls. Where once again, I will help her get back up and back on that path again.

 

Happy ? You bet I am, I am on top of the world !

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Yes. I am generally happy.

 

But, my hormones fight me on this constantly. So, though I am generally happy, I have frequent bouts of hormone-induced intrusive thoughts that invade my blue skies.

 

Many changes in life-as-I-knew-it (perimenopause, the empty nest looming ahead, and just getting older) make me unsettled at times. But I have a loving Savior, a happy marriage, great kids, and plenty to keep me busy most of the time, so I'd say I'm generally happy.

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Yes yes yes!!!

 

I was actually thinking about this the other day. Our lives were topsy turvy for several years and since I started homeschooling (just starting year 3) life has been so much better. It was a combination of homeschooling and other planets being aligned that just put us in a good place.

 

Of course all that being said I am on my way to the pediatric orthopedist to see if my daughter broke her clavicle.

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So many people said things I wanted to quote...great thoughts here.

 

For me, the answer lies in this verse:

 

Psalm 40:

I waited patiently for the LORD;

he turned to me and heard my cry.

 

2 He lifted me out of the slimy pit,

out of the mud and mire;

he set my feet on a rock

and gave me a firm place to stand. 3 He put a new song in my mouth,

a hymn of praise to our God.

Many will see and fear

and put their trust in the LORD.

 

I am so completely and eternaly grateful for what God has done to me, for how he has saved me from a slimy pit, saved my very life, that a cloud of joy has followed and covered me ever since. I have a NEW song to sing, a song of JOY. I have a NEW place to stand, on the very Rock that is Christ, my Lord.

 

In my daily life, the everyday circumstances, I feel all things, sometimes happy and joyful, sometimes depressed and frustrated. But the constant, overall sense of joy has never left me no matter what I am going through. And I have been through plenty. The attitude of gratitude causes me to see the cup half full, not half empty. It causes me to compare myself to those who have less, not those who have more. It causes me to take nothing for granted and to praise God each and every day for his many, many blessings. It also gives me the desire to help those less fortunate then and I and to share myself and my joy with others when ever I can.

 

I have a tiny house that I detest. But I smile and thank the Lord every time I walk into it. Others have no house at all.

 

We have very little money compared to what we used to have. But I have a hard working DH and we always pay our bills and always have what we need. Others are hungry and cold.

 

I needed an artificial hip at the age of 39, caused by congenital hip dispaysia. I spent 10 years before the surgery limping in pain. At one point, I could only walk backwards. But there are some that can not walk at all and some whose surgeries are not successfull or for whom there is no cure for thier pain.

 

I have tourette's syndrome. I tic so bad in my shoulder, arm and back that I am in constant pain from it. But there are others who's tics make a normal life impossible. Mine do not.

 

I could go on and on of course. Life is full of "Pits" and we ALL have had our share. But lastly I will share that I was sexually, emotionally and spiritually abused by my biological father for 20 years. At age 25, I was an emotional disaster and thought that I would rather just die then go through the pain I was feeling. But I have healed completely with the help of Christ who found me down there in that pit. He lifted me OUT and put my feet on a ROCK! There are some who are still tormented by what happened to them and some who did not live through it. So when I think about my past, gratitude is all I feel! The past has no hold on me. I have a NEW life in Christ! And that life brings me JOY and HAPPINESS!

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