Young dc and chores. Help!

[Tabrett]

I never had chores growing up. I just pretty much took over the house work at age 14. Basically, because I was embarrassed at how bad it looked and I wanted it nice. I was raised an only child and never saw how a "family" worked together as far as house hold jobs.

 

I want to establish some sort of chores for my younger dc ages 5.5, 4 and 2yrs. I know the 2yo is very young. I tried a chore chart (for my 4 and 5yo) to be done in the morning. It basically had a picture check list of how to get dressed, brush teeth and straighten room. After the chart was complete we ate breakfast. My main goal for this chart was so I would have time to get dressed and make breakfast. My dc were unable to do this with out me standing over them. Doing the chart didn't last long.

Also, by the time my dc did their chores and ate breakfast (after me standing over them). I had lost their "energy" for school. KWIM? We had spend their most focused time on chores and when school stared, they were not focused anymore.

 

Is there any books or websites that tell how to introduce chores and what is appropriate at what age? How to implement starting chores?

 

Most things I have read about chores for younger dc, I can't apply. I don't "set" the table. Most of their clothes are hung up and not folded. They can't put up the dishes because the dishes are in the top cabinets. The vacuum is hard for ME to push and the list goes on. I really just don't know what they are capable to doing at what age or how much is appropriate and what time of day is best to do chores so school focus is not lost.

 

MOTH has a chore book and it says it teaches what to do with preschoolers and chore. Has anyone read this book? Would it help me?

[mommylawyer]

Since our children are of similar ages, I'll share what we do - albeit, there isn't much yet.

 

My two older children are responsible for cleaning up their rooms every night before bedtime. This includes picking up their things from around the house. My 2 year old has to help bring things to her bedroom, but she won't have room-cleaning duty until she's 3.

 

I know you said you don't set the table, and neither do we really, but here's what we do. My youngest takes the children's forks and spoons (if needed) to the table and puts one of each at each place. My 4 year old takes the children's drinks to table. The oldest takes each child's plate of food to the table.

 

After meals, each is responsible for clearing his or her own dishes and putting them on the kitchen counter.

 

With laundry, my older two have to put their clothes in the proper drawers - socks, undies, jammies, and folded clothes. I put the hanging clothes up. They can also help fold towels and washcloths, and help take them to the linen closet.

 

When the kids get home from an outing, they have to take their shoes to their rooms and put whatever needs to be put (coats, books, etc.) into their cubbies by the front door.

 

The children also help me put away clean dishes - the older two put away pots, pans, and some utensils (nothing sharp) and the youngest hands me clean bowls, plates, etc.

 

Hope this helps!

[flyingmommy]

What about having your littles do things like emptying the dryer? That's a great job for a little one. What about putting away things that go in lower cabinets when the dishwasher is emptied? Maybe baking pans or pots? Watering plants, dusting, and helping to sort laundry are all jobs that small children can do. My youngest learned to sort laundry when she was three. She does almost all the dusting now, but when she was small, she dusted only the things she could reach. She's 8 now, but very small for her age. About the size of a 5 or 6 year old, so it's been a challenge to find chores that she can do safely. Small children are also good at "fetching and carrying." You can have them return items to the rooms where they belong.

 

It can be a challenge to find age and size appropriate chores, but it can be done. Sometimes, the chores you give them could be more easily and quickly done by you. Also, many of the chores they can accomplish aren't really going to impact the cleanliness of your home that much. The important thing is to get them into the habit of doing chores and understanding that you are all a family and you take care of each other. Many of my friends have waited till their children were "big enough" to help and then have been unable to get those children to help without a battle. I'd rather spend 15 minutes on a 5 minute chore now so that my child canhelp than spend an hour fighting with her to do a 5 minute chore later. (I don't know if that sentence makes sense. LOL)

 

Good luck!

 

jeannie

[Eruditio_Academy]

The rule in our house is that as soon as you can walk you can do chores. But don't be scared, it's not as "bad" as it sounds. My sons started out by having to pick up their toys before bedtime--which I help them with and, as they become more proficient, they pick up more and more on their own. (They also aren't given a large amount of toys at any one time, so the cleaning up doesn't overwhelm them). The other job that they do is taking the dirty laundry from their room and putting it in the laundry hamper every morning after breakfast. After meals, my older son (3 yrs)takes care of dishes, washes the table, and both boys clean up the floor. I don't expect perfection, but they're getting a valuable learning experience and they have a good attitude (most of the time) about chores because they've been doing them from as long as they can remember. They are two very active, not perfectly behaved boys, but they do pretty well in this area and they feel that they are a vital part of the family unit.

 

Dr. John Rosemond has written MANY, MANY books about child-rearing and devotes very large portions to chores and why they are such an important part of a child's upbringing (RESPECT, RESPONSIBLITY, & RESOURCEFULNESS). Read "A Family of Value" by Rosemond for more information.

 

Hope this doesn't sound "preachy." It's hard to convey everything in a quick message.

[apmom]

I have my 3yo and 7yo pair socks, fold washcloths and towels, and dust the things they can reach. They are also responsible for helping to clean out the van (taking in their own things), clearing the table after a meal (taking their own dishes to the sink, plus getting one "extra thing" like ketchup, salt, etc.). They also are expected to clean up their own toys and rooms (as much as the 3yo can in her room) and pick up little stuff before I vacuum. It does take a lot of prompting, but it will be worth it...I see it like teaching any other thing, it takes time and effort to teach them how to be productive members of the family.

[hsmom3tn]

I agree with the other posts, but here are a few other things that my kids started doing when they were younger:

 

 

 

• restock paper products (paper plates and napkins go into the holders, bring toilet paper from the garage to the hall closet, etc.)
  
• empty the wastepaper baskets around the house
  
• restock sodas, pouch/box drinks in the fridge
  
• wipe the lower cabinet doors in the kitchen
  
• wash the kitchen floor (Wash, not mop, on hands and knees. They love doing this :001_smile:)
  
• refill the liquid soap in bathroom and kitchen
  

 

[The Governess]

I find that setting a timer with my 5 yo really helps. I don't think her concept of time is developed enough for her to understand how to get her things done in a timely manner yet, but the timer gives her an easy visual of how much time we have left, and it then becomes a game to beat the clock. It has been a very effective tool for us.

 

Right now her chores are: put silverware around the table, fold all of the dish and bath towels when I do the laundry, keep her room clean, and get ready in the morning. Every evening at 5 pm I set a timer and the girls have 15 minutes to clean up their rooms so they are neat when dh gets home.

 

In the morning she is supposed to make her bed, get dressed, and brush hair and teeth.

 

My 3 yo puts the napkins around the table for meals and is starting to learn to fold clothes. She dresses herself, can make her bed and sometimes does it without being asked! Wonder how long that's going to last......:D

 

Both girls are responsible for cleaning up toys, games, supplies after using them....although this usually won't happen unless I remind them. They also clear their dishes after meals and put them next to the sink for me to wash.

 

Maybe you could set a timer for 30 minutes in the morning, and if they finish their chores early then they can do a fun activity with their extra time before school starts? Would that be enough motivation for them?

[Tabrett]

Do you guys have a chart that shows them what to do? I'm afraid I need some sort of flow to keep ME on track so I don't end up letting it "not get done". I'm probably going to have to do a MOTH schedule to keep me going starting in the fall. I keep putting it off. My excuse is I don't know how to time school until we do a few days. Excuses, excuses! :glare:

[Lovedtodeath]

I never had chores growing up. I just pretty much took over the house work at age 14. Basically, because I was embarrassed at how bad it looked and I wanted it nice. I was raised an only child and never saw how a "family" worked together as far as house hold jobs.

 

I want to establish some sort of chores for my younger dc ages 5.5, 4 and 2yrs. I know the 2yo is very young. I tried a chore chart (for my 4 and 5yo) to be done in the morning. It basically had a picture check list of how to get dressed, brush teeth and straighten room. After the chart was complete we ate breakfast. My main goal for this chart was so I would have time to get dressed and make breakfast. My dc were unable to do this with out me standing over them. Doing the chart didn't last long.

Also, by the time my dc did their chores and ate breakfast (after me standing over them). I had lost their "energy" for school. KWIM? We had spend their most focused time on chores and when school stared, they were not focused anymore.

Children's Miracle Music

[LostSurprise]

I like after lunch (but before resting time) chores. That way they're snappy during school and if they're tired after chores and lunch they can nap.

 

Some smallish chores:

 

put away silverware

put dishes by/in sink after eating

fold washclothes/hand towels

put shoes away

put toys away

wash windows (lower half)

wipe out bathroom sink

bring small room garbage cans to kitchen on garbage day

put recycling away

water plants

feed pets

put dirty laundry in basket

push wet laundry in dryer (while you load)

sort dirty clothes by color

 

My 6 year old feeds/waters the dog, picks up own things, sets the table, clears the table, collects trash on trash day, brings trash cans back up.

 

My 4 year old wipes out sink and washes windows. He also helps others with their chores so he can learn.

[Radish4ever]

We just started a chore chart for my DD.... I put "chores" on there that are things she needs to be doing anyway. We started out with 5 and when she got all the marks for a whole week on that one, I added a chore. I put things that are "problem areas" on the chart.

She didn't seem interested in a long term reward, so our reward is daily. Some moms are going to cringe here, but at the end of the day, if my DD has done 5 things on her list, she gets one Hershey's kiss and if she does all 6, she gets 2. Then she knows it's time to drink some water, brush teeth, and go to bed. lol

 

Her "chores" are:

*Brush teeth in the AM (she used to put up a HUGE fight with this, so this was also a behavioral thing for her)

*Go to the bathroom without help all day (again, she would whine and insist that we wipe for her...she IS just 4, but come on!)

*Finish schoolwork (on weekends, I count anything educational that she's done...she asks to do school daily so this is easy)

*Clean up toys in bedroom before bed

*Clean up toys from living room and dining room before bed

*Eat dinner like mom and dad tell her to (she has a big issue with this as well.... seems that her "chores" and "behaviors" on the chart have SIGNIFICANTLY improved with the chocolate chore chart. lol)

 

 

Her little brother is 2 1/2 and too young for a chore chart. If he cleans up his room (He knows which shelves to put his toys on) and cleans up the living and dining room with his sister, she gets whatever chocolate she's earned. ;)

 

It has been working well for us! I plan on changing some of the "chores" to actual chores in a few weeks... I wanted her to have the sense of accomplishment the first few weeks by doing things that she could easily do... we'll move on the "harder" stuff soon!

 

 

 

She does other chores that aren't listed daily and doesn't think of them as chores - such as dressing herself and putting dirty clothes in the hamper, helping me with laundry, cleaning up after herself when it comes to eating or school stuff, etc. If she's happily doing it, I'm not putting it on the list right now! LOL

[Radish4ever]

Oh and adding... I'm like you - NEVER EVER had chores growing up! It makes me sad to think of the filth I let myself live in and my parents weren't the best at cleaning either.

 

I realize my hosue will NEVER be spotless, but I am trying to instill a sense of order and cleanliness in my kids that my parents never taught me.... They also love sweeping up the floor, vacuuming with me, and spraying cleaners and wiping them up. They also know where microfiber towels are located so when they spill something, they can clean up after themselves.

 

I wish my parents had done the same! Cleaning is PAINFUL for me! LOL

[Tabrett]

Children's Miracle Music

 

Huh?:confused:

[Tabrett]

I like after lunch (but before resting time) chores. That way they're snappy during school and if they're tired after chores and lunch they can nap.

 

Some smallish chores:

 

put away silverware

put dishes by/in sink after eating

fold washclothes/hand towels

put shoes away

put toys away

wash windows (lower half)

wipe out bathroom sink

bring small room garbage cans to kitchen on garbage day

put recycling away

water plants

feed pets

put dirty laundry in basket

push wet laundry in dryer (while you load)

sort dirty clothes by color

 

My 6 year old feeds/waters the dog, picks up own things, sets the table, clears the table, collects trash on trash day, brings trash cans back up.

 

My 4 year old wipes out sink and washes windows. He also helps others with their chores so he can learn.

 

That sounds like a good idea-after lunch before a rest time. My 4 and 5 yo don't nap, but I would love to incorporate a rest time. I need a time that is quite. I get very irritable when it is always loud.

[myfunnybunch]

I looked at the little tasks that I kept finding myself wishing I had time for but was often without that extra 5-10 minutes to complete. I kept a list for about a week then divvied the chores up between the kids.

 

With young ones you may need to stand over them for quite a time until they get into the routine of things. (And you might have to do it again when they're teens, lol...sigh.) We do chores after breakfast as a part of getting ready for the day. I give the kids a set amount of time between the end of breakfast and the beginning of school--the more quickly you do your chores, the more playtime you get before school. We're into the routine of things now, so the kids read or ask what is the daily chore every morning.

 

My youngest guys' chores:

 

Daily: Brush teeth, make bed, pick up floor, help clear table after meals

 

6 y.o.

Daily: Take out compost, hamper to washer, sweep under dining table after dinner

M-Wipe kitchen door frames

Tu-Wipe the bathroom sinks downstairs (Anything he can do with a spray bottle is a hit.)

W-Wipe door handles downstairs

Th-Help clean play room

F- Wipe light switches

 

4 y.o.

Daily: Take dishtowels to the washer after dinner

M-Clean upstairs door handles

Tu-Wipe dishwasher and oven fronts

W-Clean stair handrails

Th-Help clean play room

F-Wipe dishwasher and oven fronts

 

What do they say? Something like "A two-year-old with a broom is a two-year-old with a broom. A twelve -year-old with a broom is a blessing." :)

 

Cat

[Lovedtodeath]

Huh?:confused:

Chores Done... Kids On Time... House Clean... And No Nagging. Guaranteed. CDs of upbeat music with a friendly voice guides the kids to get chores done. http://www.childrensmiraclemusic.com/

 

Morning:

1. Make bed

2. use bathroom

3. act of kindness (chore)

4. get dressed and put pajamas away

5. fix hair

6. eat breakfast

7. rinse dish

8. brush teeth

 

The evening has another act of kindness and steps to get ready for bed. There is a chart and a reward system. (I made my own chart, one date after only 10 days is way too often) We are moving the steps around as well, as we need b-fast first.

[hsmom3tn]

Have you all seen this website?

http://www.handipoints.com/

 

You make chore charts online for each child and they get points for doing their chores. They can use the points to buy things in Handi Land (a virtual world sort of like Club Penguin, Build-a-Bearville, etc.) You can also set up your own rewards (money, stay up later, no school, going someplace special, etc.), choosing how many points they have to build up to earn it.

 

My kids seem to have outgrown it, but for a while it was a great incentive for them. It's also FREE :001_smile:

 

From their site:

In addition to powerful parenting tools for creating Chore, Behavior, and Study Charts, Handipoints features HandiLand, a safe virtual world where kids adopt their own cartoon cat, play games and watch movies. Free members can upgrade to the Cool Cats Club to unlock special clothes, furniture, and games. Great for kids from 5 to 13, Handipoints helps teach kids how to work and save for fun virtual rewards.