Ottakee Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 A young (20 or so) mother from our church was killed tonight in a car accident. Her 20 month old daughter is in critical condition and her 6 week old daughter is not expected to live---she was ejected from the car when her car seat broke from the impact. The father/husband is in the military---still in basic training I believe. I was wondering what the military policy is in a situation like this. Will they give him time off now? Could he possibly be discharged if he wants? He has lost his wife, possibly his newborn daughter, and his other daughter is in critical condition. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mabeline Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 From what I understand they will discharge him if he has no one else to care for his children. How sad. I am so sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 How horrible. That poor family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyof4ks Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 He should at least get time off or at least military personnel in our area do for such a thing. How sad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SherryTX Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 I am so very sorry for that family! I believe the military will let him out of service due to something like this - especially if he just got started and is only in boot camp. Does he have any family that can help him? I hope his daughters make it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 They gave him a TON of time off during her last illness, and in fact gave him orders to a place where she could get some experimental treatments. He says a lot of these decisions are dependent on the person making the decision. He was lucky. When our twins were born and needed medical treatment, his boss let him take a day off almost every week to travel for treatments for one of our sons. Again, this was a personal decision. DH may not have even taken those days as leave (though honestly, every year he lost leave because he didn't take it) I don't know about a discharge. DH did not want to be discharged and continued as a single parent to his son for three years before he met and married me. It wasn't easy, but he wanted to continue. This young man may need the pay and medical benefits right now, so I wouldn't assume that he wants to quit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In The Great White North Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 Has anyone contacted the Red Cross so he can get emergency leave? We always had to request that the doctor or hospital do this. The Red Cross (local) will contact the Red Cross (where he is stationed), who will notify his commander. He can't get emergency leave without this notification. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenL Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 I have no idea what the military position is on this, but I am sorry to hear about this poor family. My prayers are with them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HollyDay Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 I recall reading somewhere about extended time off without pay. I cannot remember the circumstances around that though. Certainly, the ombudsman and/or chaplain should be able to guide this poor guy through the ends and outs of negotiating this trauma from a military stand point. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bairnmama Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 In my experience... he would get emergency leave as long as the Red Cross validated the situation. How much time depends on which branch he is in, if he's in boot camp - how long until he finishes, what his MOS is and other factors like that. Generally, the emergency leave is still paid with his basic pay and whatever other allowances he rates, but I'm not sure about the boot camp part. Different rules apply to servicemen still in boot camp and those that have completed it... at least in the Corps they do. I've been a Key Volunteer for many years with my husband's units in the Corps and sadly situations like these come up. I know the Navy/Marine Corps Relief Society will pay for his plane ticket home in such situations if he is far from where this happened and then give either a long, interest-free repayment plan or just consider it a grant and not require repayment at all. But I'm not sure what the Army does or what their agency that handles these things is called. My prayers go out to this serviceman and I wish the toddler a speedy recovery! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tree House Academy Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 Oh, this is heartbreaking! :( I don't know the military laws, but my heart just breaks for this young man. :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angela in GA Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 Oh my. Do you know where he is at Basic Training? My dh is a Drill Sgt., we're stationed on Ft. Knox. I would imagine someone has already put in a call to the Red Cross. If not, they need to do it ASAP. He will get time off. As to how much, I'm not sure. I would also guess he will be discharged if that's the route he wants to take. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 I agree with Angela. If he wants to be discharged he probably can. *Normally* if you have a spouse or child die you can receive a hardship discharge. Sadly, I've seen this happen. Where he's doing basic, his MOS, a lot of factors come into play if he decides to stay in the military. However, he may be able to procure a compassionate reassignment to be closer to his family if he decides to stay in. About hardship discharges: AR 635-200 (6 June 2005) 6-3. Criteria Soldiers on active duty may be discharged or released (see para 6-10) because of genuine dependency or hardship. a. Dependency. Dependency exists when death or disability of a member of a soldier's (or spouses) immediate family causes that member to rely upon the soldier for principal care or support. (See para 6-5 for definition of soldier's immediate family.) b. Hardship. Hardship exists when in circumstances not involving death or disability of a member of the soldiers (or spouses) immediate family, separation from the Service will materially affect the care or support of the family by alleviating undue and genuine hardship. (See para 6-5 for definition of soldier's immediate family.) (1) Parenthood of married soldiers. A married soldier who becomes a parent by birth, adoption, or marriage (stepparent) and whose child (or children) is less than 18 years of age and resides within the household, may apply for separation under hardship. The soldier must submit evidence (see para 6-7b(5)) that the roles of parent and soldier are incompatible and that the soldier cannot fulfill his/her military obligation without neglecting the child or children. (2) Sole parents. Soldiers who are sole parents and whose children are under 18 years of age and reside within the household, may apply for separation under hardship. A "sole parent" is defined as a parent who is single by reason of never having been married, or who is divorced or legally separated and has been awarded child custody by judicial decree or court order, or who is a widow/widower. (3) Intent. It is not the intent of the Armys policy regarding married soldiers who are parents or soldiers who become sole parents, to arbitrarily allow the separation of an enlisted woman who remained in the Service during her pregnancy and then requested release immediately after receiving the medical and monetary benefits related to prenatal and postnatal absence and delivery. (4) Supporting evidence. Supporting evidence will be provided as per paragraph 6-7b(5). Paragraph 6-7b(5) minimizes the supporting evidence for these two policies. However, soldiers must meet the application criteria in paragraph 6-4 in addition to the requirement that there be unexpected circumstances beyond the soldier's control justifying separation. An example of unexpected circumstances beyond the soldier's control is the birth of a child with a serious birth defect requiring constant care. Inability to obtain an approved dependent care plan does not qualify the soldier for separation under this provision. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anotherclassicmom Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 My heart is hurting for this family. I'm sure military will do the right thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ibbygirl Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 Oh, this is heartbreaking! :( I don't know the military laws, but my heart just breaks for this young man. :( My words exactly! :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missplacedalaskan Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 The first thing that needs to happen is the red cross needs to be contacted to take care of arrangements with the military. This is so very sad for this family. My heart is breaking for this young man and his young family. What a tragedy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michelle in MO Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 Oh wow. That is just absolutely tragic. I will pray for this young man and his family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted July 10, 2009 Author Share Posted July 10, 2009 I have heard that dad is on his way home. Hannah, the 6 week old, did not make it through the night. I don't think that dad ever got to see her. The other little gir, either just about 2 or just turned 2, is in critical condition. They were all properly buckled in, the crash was just that severe that the infant's car seat broke apart. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlsdMama Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 When our daughter died they gave him leave to bury her, be home with me... Honestly there is a set amount of time, but there is so much the CO is willing to do. The guys from his platoon paid for her headstone by handing him a huge wad of cash from passing the hat. The military... There's nothing like it in the world. They'll support him, you'll see. Our military helped us through family services. They paid for the funeral as well as she was too young for insurance to kick in and our plane tickets home to bury her. I'm still (8 years later) so grateful to the US Army and those soldiers. They made an unbelievably hard time survivable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 Walmart has the visa cards now as does Sam's and most of our local drug stores. :grouphug:Prayers for the little girl and her family. This is just so sad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BMW Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 As I fight tears over this, I am SO aware of my complainings over daily routine with my children and husband... I sit here stunned, corrected in the deepest part of my being that I take my family for granted and I will commit myself to smile, hug and appreciate these days... how terribly sad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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