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Moms & bikinis (slight rant, and a LITTLE tmi)


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Are you saying that we can't make assumptions etc. about others?

 

I should have said "You cannot make assumptions about values, taste, politics, perspective, etc based on one aspect of a person's identity such as motherhood. Sometimes the narrative in my brain gets ahead of my fingers.

 

Barb

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I'm just extremely surprised so many people are out in the sun with so little cover. I expected this thread to turn into a "I used to do the bikini thing, but now I try to limit my sun exposure" type of thing.

 

I actually don't sunbathe. At all. I'm in my bikini because I like it, it's comfortable, and it's the only kind of suit I can get to fit properly. But I'm wearing it in the shade! When I get in the water it's after blocking up, then it's back to the shade. :coolgleamA:

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I should have said "You cannot make assumptions about values, taste, politics, perspective, etc based on one aspect of a person's identity such as motherhood. Sometimes the narrative in my brain gets ahead of my fingers.

 

Barb

 

No thats fine. That makes sense. I just wanted you to clarify so I didn't assume you were saying something you....weren't saying. :tongue_smilie:

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So obese people deserve to be gawked at if they dare to go out into public?

 

Absolutely not, but when I am at the beach and pool, I hear the giggles and comments and it happens without fail. The young men make especially derogatory comments and it IS shallow and rude. I give all the credit to those who are comfortable enough with themselves to get out there and have fun, and not be bothered by shallow people. If your experience is different, I am glad! There is hope for humanity. Maybe it is a regional thing, also.

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Let me tell you what I've learned here:

 

1. Finally, after 30 pages someone answered my question....the thing to do these days is for people to act how they feel..not based on age, marital status, parenting status, culture, etc..... I'm not saying this is a good or bad thing. It's just something I truly didn't understand until today.

 

2. You can try to apologize and take responsibility for your own wrongdoing, and try to explain your position in a different way(while walking on eggshells as to not offend anyone) but some people will still want to crucify you for not conforming to their position.

 

3. A bully can not be reckoned with and will always need to have the last word.

 

Thank you. I'm finished.

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Let me tell you what I've learned here:

 

1. Finally, after 30 pages someone answered my question....the thing to do these days is for people to act how they feel..not based on age, marital status, parenting status, culture, etc..... I'm not saying this is a good or bad thing. It's just something I truly didn't understand until today.

 

2. You can try to apologize and take responsibility for your own wrongdoing, and try to explain your position in a different way(while walking on eggshells as to not offend anyone) but some people will still want to crucify you for not conforming to their position.

 

3. A bully can not be reckoned with and will always need to have the last word.

 

Thank you. I'm finished.

 

So, you accuse me of insulting "everyone," calling you "un-Christian" and when I ask you to point out where I did these things you call me a bully and leave?? :lol:

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I actually don't sunbathe. At all. I'm in my bikini because I like it, it's comfortable, and it's the only kind of suit I can get to fit properly. But I'm wearing it in the shade! When I get in the water it's after blocking up, then it's back to the shade. :coolgleamA:

 

I totally get that. I had a feeling there was a whole group of unheard from people that have no problem showing skin both indoors and at night, but not really wanting to put it out there in the sun!

 

The Japanese girls are actually a good example. Like I said, it's definately not a modesty thing for them in Okinawa. You ever want to see the definaition of, um, not modest, check out the local areas at night where off duty active duty can meet young local girls! LOL!

 

Actually I looked at the suits that Eliana linked. They look like rash guards with biker shorts with a cover-up over it. Similar to coverups I've had before. Truthfully, if I lived right at a beach, and had little kids I had to play at the beach with everyday, I could see doing that. It's probably comfy, and the coverup, well, covers the clinginess of the rashguard (which was one of the things I didn't like about it, It just didn't look as good as my suits that have that belly hiding swing panel in front).

 

I'd feel really funny actually swimming in it, like I was going in swimming in my clothes, but for playing in the sand and just in the surf up to your knees or so (like I'd do in shorts) it would be good.

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Overkill here. By several miles, at least.

 

"Mrs. Frankweiler" used the word "you" in the loose way that everybody does these days. When I was in elementary school, millions of years ago when grammar was taught and enforced with military rigidity, the word "one" would have been used.

 

For example, her second bullet point would have started off as, "One can try to apologize and take responsibility for ones own wrongdoing. . ."

 

This is the sense in which the woman used the word "you". She addressed no individual in particular.

 

 

So, you accuse me of insulting "everyone," calling you "un-Christian" and when I ask you to point out where I did these things you call me a bully and leave?? :lol:
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I'm sorry you feel that relaying my experiences and first-hand observations is insensitive. Would it be better if I lied or revised what I have seen and heard? I never said that I condoned this attitude, nor would I. It is merely what I see and hear on a weekly basis as a frequent beach/pool goer. It seems that you are choosing to be offended and taking exception to me for your own reasons, which are known only to you.

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Overkill here. By several miles, at least.

 

"Mrs. Frankweiler" used the word "you" in the loose way that everybody does these days. When I was in elementary school, millions of years ago when grammar was taught and enforced with military rigidity, the word "one" would have been used.

 

For example, her second bullet point would have started off as, "One can try to apologize and take responsibility for ones own wrongdoing. . ."

 

This is the sense in which the woman used the word "you". She addressed no individual in particular.

 

I was assuming she was addressing everyone who disagreed with her. If I'm wrong, I apologize.

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Not to pick on you, Stripe, but why is it ok for this to be said, but I can't say that bikinis and moms don't mix? You're obviously being silly, but a Speedo-wearing grandpa might take offense. Aren't you

 

judging them and trying to keep them in the box *you* would like them in.

Obviously the grandpas in Speedos like their bathing attire just fine, and if there are any on this board reading this I'm sure they'd have "their speedos in a knot" (to quote another hiver.)

 

I have to say....I'm a little bothered by the double standard.

?

 

I don't know what the double standard is on my part, since I never gave my opinion on bikini-clad females, nor did I (frankly) remember that it was you who started this thread by the time, so I was just trying to be silly, and not to dictate behavior or make judgments.

 

So here is my position: I think the sight of pubic hair poking out of one's skin-tight underpants/swim gear is a sight best reserved for one's loving spouse, who will no doubt find it endearing. There is no double standard on my part! :)

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It *is* hard sometimes. I understand the challenges - we're observant Jews (here's one site with women's suits that would acceptable for our family and in keeping with what my children (and I!) would be comfortable seeing) and since we live in Seattle rather than Meah Sharim, we are exposed to many things which are very uncomfortable for us... especially this time of year!

 

But is has given dh and I many opportunities to teach (and try to model) some very important values - our kids are really amazing in their ability to respect other lifestyles and value systems while holding strongly to our own. ...and they have a clear sense of our family's boundaries about privacy - and know how to avert their eyes (or just their focus/attention if averting the eyes could be noticed or feel hurtful) when activities or areas of the body which our family holds are private are visible to us in public.

 

...and for us, that means looking away if a couple (regardless of the genders) is kissing in public, if a person (regardless of gender or fitness) is wearing shorts or a tiny top or no top at all, or if someone is having a public outburst (unless it appears that someone needs help).

 

That same sense of boundaries is why we give to any individual asking for help without judging his/her clothing, habits, or life situation.... unless s/he wishes to discuss it, we feel it is wrong to use a request for help as an opening to judge or to pry... and we hold that turning away from a request for help, when one has anything at all which could help, is wrong.

 

For us, tznius (modesty) has several aspects. The most obvious, the most measurable, aspect is how we dress - and I believe that dressing in accordance with our faith and values has a positive impact on our characters and behaviour... and has the potential to elevate and even sanctify our lives.

 

Tznius is also about modesty in speech and action and this includes speaking kindly and... with refinement, but it is also about being as concerned for the privacy and dignity of others as for our own.

 

But, perhaps most importantly, tznius is a spiritual quality - in encompasses humilty and self-restraint, and a deep consideration for others.

 

So, for me, this time of year brings with it many opportunities for spiritual growth, many chances to try to convert my discomfort or even judgementalism into respect, compassion, and an awareness of how much work I have to do on my own observance of tznius if I am reacting in certain ways.

 

Side note: I think that opinions about which body types are better suited to partial nudity are driven by cultural... programming might be too strong a word. The cultures in which we live create a lot of our sense of what is "attractive" and what is aesthetically displeasing... beauty and attractiveness are not absolutes, and I feel that treating them as if they are does nothing constructive for anyone.

 

This is a beautiful post and very insightful. Thank you so much.

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Eliana,

 

I'm still trying to picture swimming laps in your swimsuit or the ones in the other link. If you were doing breast stroke, wouldn't the top creep up with each glide? The more I contemplate this, the more my admiration grows. Those suits would provide a lot of drag, right? Which means, you must be a fairly strong swimmer if you swim in one of those suits every day. Am I doing the math right? Does the material shifting around bother you or are you used to it?

 

I hope it's okay to ask these questions.:001_huh:

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Mrs. F - You repeatedly mention that some people think they can wear whatever they want where ever they want. I have no idea why because I haven't seen a single person here say that yet and certainly not me.

 

It is a public pool! You are the one making the "family pool" designation and presuming all families should model you. (At any given time it's probably just as likely that a bunch of college students or singles are there.) We aren't talking about everywhere and where ever - we're talking swimming in a pool. Good grief, it's not like they are going to work or to church in a bikini.

 

As for asthetics - it's just an opinion. Some men actually are attracted to big bottom girls you know. You might see muffin top. Another sees more to love.

 

I might think, "wow, that hairy fella is not attractive like that!"

The woman next to me might be thinking she loves teddy-bear guys.

 

Now if anyone should care to know, The peeve in OUR house is the junior high and high school girls in bikini's standing on the corner at the gas station offerring car washes to make money for whatever camp/band or whatnot. Um. No. Call me old-fashioned but heck is gonna freeze before my daughter stands on a corner in a bikini asking for money.

 

Oh and my daughters aren't allowed bikini's. I wouldn't say it is neccessarily for moral reasons. I don't let them have short hair either. To me, I want them to look their age and those things tend to add years to their appearance. I want my little girls to look like little girls, not mini adults. Yet I can bet some other moms would be offended at the notion that I paint their nails and we get their ears pierced at about a month old, because to them that is adult stuff. Whereas to me, it's just generic female stuff.

 

Side note, I don't even know what a rashguard is. I haven't been swimming anywhere that gives me rashes... :001_huh:

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In my family we do not wear any reveling clothes including our swim wear. We do this because we believe through our scriptual teachings that God wants women to be modest. With that said each person has a right to their opinions and how they dress, that is why we live in America where you are free to choose. If we go to a public area it is a sure thing that we will see things that we do not agree with but it is that persons choice and this is what i try to teach my children. I allow my girls to wear shorts (at a reasonable length) some people believe that showing of any flesh is against God. I think if you are going to go to a public place then you have to be willing to deal with what you will see. If you go to Walmart you are sure to see some man or women dressed in a way you may not agree with. Use this to teach your children what you feel is right and wrong and why. When they become adults they will make thier own informative decisions. God Bless!!!!

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I guess I would be the gal who makes the majority of you lose your lunch. I'm a big woman who loves to swim when I have the time. Oh, and those varicose veins-bring 'em on baby.

 

I go to the pool, shove my bookends and all into a size 16 polyester swimsuit (no bikini, or little skirty thing), put on cap and the goggles whose marks won't leave my face for four hours (I'm over 40, are you all green yet?) and I get in the water and lap swim. Now I do have to "parade" past the 16-21 year-old male lifeguards, most of whom I know from swim team and as friends of my older kids. They must have terrible mothers because instead of averting their eyes, I usually hear, "Hey Mrs. B., good to see (he doesn't really mean that, right?) you, you missed the last two days." Rats.

 

Those old men in Speedos? Every summer, my dh and I make sure we are available to run electronic timing for the Masters meets. I love, positivly love watching those "old" men and women in Speedos race. I'm not looking at their suits thinking "suitable" Christian thoughts like, "How obscene and immoral." I'm thinking that for that 65-year-old man to have a 6-pack it takes incredible self-discipline and hard work. The 50-year-old woman with the suit up her backside who just broke a world record- I am in tears at her beauty and strength. These "old", "ugly", "less-than-perfect" people are amazing. They come in all shapes and sizes and they wear swimsuits in public.

 

I'm sorry if I offend you morally and asthetically. I am still going to the pool today. Only instead of making a quick, embarrassed, entrance and exit into the pool I am going to hold my head high. I am going to swim as I always do, for my health, for my family, for my sense of connection and peace, and because today, I'm really pi**ed off.

 

You rock! :D

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Bikini-wearing mom here! I'm 30, I have one child and I still look good (although if we're being honest, I'd kill to look like I did before DD was born, lol). I don't have stretchmarks, I'm thin (5'0" and 100 lbs) and in shape. I don't hang out anywhere, my swimsuit's not up my butt and my boobs aren't popping out of my top. I personally would not be comfortable in a bikini if I didn't still look decent in one, but I really don't care what someone else wants to wear. I might not find exposed stretchmarks attractive, but I love the attitude behind them. Besides, some people get stretchmarks on their thighs and stuff, where no swimsuit will cover them anyway.

 

I have a sister who's overweight, all of it being on the bottom half, and covered in cellulite. She still wears a bikini, whereas I'd avoid situations where I had to take off my knee-length shorts if I looked like her. However, I think her comfort with her own body is AWESOME and I LOVE that about her. :D

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Mrs. F - You repeatedly mention that some people think they can wear whatever they want where ever they want. I have no idea why because I haven't seen a single person here say that yet and certainly not me.

 

It is a public pool! You are the one making the "family pool" designation and presuming all families should model you. (At any given time it's probably just as likely that a bunch of college students or singles are there.) We aren't talking about everywhere and where ever - we're talking swimming in a pool. Good grief, it's not like they are going to work or to church in a bikini.

 

As for asthetics - it's just an opinion. Some men actually are attracted to big bottom girls you know. You might see muffin top. Another sees more to love.

 

I might think, "wow, that hairy fella is not attractive like that!"

The woman next to me might be thinking she loves teddy-bear guys.

 

Now if anyone should care to know, The peeve in OUR house is the junior high and high school girls in bikini's standing on the corner at the gas station offerring car washes to make money for whatever camp/band or whatnot. Um. No. Call me old-fashioned but heck is gonna freeze before my daughter stands on a corner in a bikini asking for money.

 

Oh and my daughters aren't allowed bikini's. I wouldn't say it is neccessarily for moral reasons. I don't let them have short hair either. To me, I want them to look their age and those things tend to add years to their appearance. I want my little girls to look like little girls, not mini adults. Yet I can bet some other moms would be offended at the notion that I paint their nails and we get their ears pierced at about a month old, because to them that is adult stuff. Whereas to me, it's just generic female stuff.

 

Side note, I don't even know what a rashguard is. I haven't been swimming anywhere that gives me rashes... :001_huh:

 

Wow, ITA with everything you said-- right down to the rash guard! ( I'm still trying to figure what the heck that is.... :confused1:)

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Bikini-wearing mom here! I'm 30, I have one child and I still look good (although if we're being honest, I'd kill to look like I did before DD was born, lol). I don't have stretchmarks, I'm thin (5'0" and 100 lbs) and in shape. I don't hang out anywhere, my swimsuit's not up my butt and my boobs aren't popping out of my top. I personally would not be comfortable in a bikini if I didn't still look decent in one, but I really don't care what someone else wants to wear. I might not find exposed stretchmarks attractive, but I love the attitude behind them. Besides, some people get stretchmarks on their thighs and stuff, where no swimsuit will cover them anyway.

 

I have a sister who's overweight, all of it being on the bottom half, and covered in cellulite. She still wears a bikini, whereas I'd avoid situations where I had to take off my knee-length shorts if I looked like her. However, I think her comfort with her own body is AWESOME and I LOVE that about her. :D

 

Then you haven't seen previous threads with swimwear links showing what is actually available ;) There are plenty of suits that cover anywear from the rear end to the thigh, to the knee, to the calf, to the ankle. And I do mean SWIM suits, not surfing or diving gear.

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Firefly my dear, if our swim instructors didn't wear rashguards in our outdoor pools, their lips would turn blue and their extremities would fall off. (Oregon)

 

Actually, lots of people use them for different reasons: sun protection, warmth, they look cool. Although now that I think of it I'm not sure why they're called rashguards. Maybe some of our surfers know.

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I really didn't want to come back to this thread, but when a pp directly address me, I feel the need to respond. I'm being tarred and feathered here, only for giving MY OPINION. I've seen many, many others do the same on this board (even on this thread!), yet I have seen few receive the backlash I've received. I've explained myself, defended myself, (admittedly) pushed the envelope on a few occasions, and apologized over and over, and I'm still being attacked. For the record, I have never once said there should be a law banning bikinis for moms, children, obese people, skinny people. People have the right to wear whatever they want. My husband fights for this country defending that right. He also fights for my right to say that I don't like it, just like he fights for your right to say that you do. I shouldn't be attacked or beaten down for stating my opinion, and you shouldn't for yours.

 

Anyway, my reason for this post. Martha, you wrote this:

 

Mrs. F - You repeatedly mention that some people think they can wear whatever they want where ever they want. I have no idea why because I haven't seen a single person here say that yet and certainly not me.

 

 

In yet ANOTHER (likely futile) attempt to defend myself, let me direct you to the following quotes taken from only the first 10 pages of this thread which imply this philosophy. Now, I admit most (BUT NOT ALL) of these refer to pool/beach settings. But these are public places where people are wearing whatever they want. I just need to point out that I did not get the "wherever/whenever" idea on my own. It was pointed out to me....repeatedly.

 

In fact, I have to admit to having admiration for those women with enough self-confidence to wear whatever they wish

 

I also feel that the women at our church wear clothes that are too tight, and show too much leg, cleavage, form, etc.

 

I almost admire all the women out there who will put one on regardless of what they look like.

 

I am happy for women who feel comfortable in their skin and whatever they want to wear to our neighborhood pool is their business.

 

 

I say if they have the body for it, and they enjoy showing it off, they should

 

 

I think people should be more modest in their beach-ware, but totally think that it's up to them to decide what they are comfortable in. I just look away!

 

 

I really don't care what others wear at the beach.

 

If a woman feels confident enough to walk around in a two-pieces I say "good for her."

 

 

I don't see why the teenagers should hog all the fun. If you can and you are comfortable with it, then I see nothing wrong.

 

 

Unless someone is wearing a bikini that is beyond the bounds of social modesty (thong) or the person looks like a half-opened can of biscuits, I don't get overly offended when I see them in a bikini. I figure it's their business

 

A woman that chooses to wear a bikini needs nobody's approval but her own, and obviously has it if she's appearing poolside in it.

 

 

However, I have no problem with people wearing whatever they want to at the pool (or anywhere else for that matter). I really wish more people would feel comfortable with their bodies and feel free to wear what makes them happy (I'm including myself in that).

 

Martha, you also wrote this:

 

It is a public pool! You are the one making the "family pool" designation and presuming all families should model you.

 

The pool my children and I frequent is located in a military base family housing area. Single service members may go there, but it is my guess that 95% of the patrons are families. (this is not a hard and fast fact...please don't expect me to provide the documentation.) And, one more time....I never said, "People should wear a tankini like me." I did infer that I didn't like what I had been seeing, and wondered if I missed a memo because bikinis (for all kinds of people) seems to be a growing trend.

 

Now, I'm tired. I'm going back to my cave, and I hope not to come out for quite a while. But when I return, please know that I GET THE POINT. People are going to wear what they wish, and they have the right to do so. I still have the right not to like it.

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Sometimes we all need them. It's funny how contentious things can get on a message board, and how quickly I can find myself feeling very prickly and put upon and actually sort of hurt. Take some time off. This one obviously got under your skin, and I haven't read things the way you have (I don't see the bullies or the attempt to crucify you, for example) BUT I will be the first to admit that I have gotten awfully defensive about posts directed at me in the past too.

 

(((((Mrs. F)))))

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A rash guard

is worn under a wetsuit to avoid chafing. My kids wear them over their suits for sun protection:)

 

Firefly my dear, if our swim instructors didn't wear rashguards in our outdoor pools, their lips would turn blue and their extremities would fall off. (Oregon)

 

Actually, lots of people use them for different reasons: sun protection, warmth, they look cool. Although now that I think of it I'm not sure why they're called rashguards. Maybe some of our surfers know.

 

Oh my, let's just say what I was picturing was way, WAY different! :lol: Thanks, Ladies. (My daughter actually has one of these; I just had no idea that that's what it was!)

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I really didn't want to come back to this thread, but when a pp directly address me, I feel the need to respond. I'm being tarred and feathered here, only for giving MY OPINION. I've seen many, many others do the same on this board (even on this thread!), yet I have seen few receive the backlash I've received. I've explained myself, defended myself, (admittedly) pushed the envelope on a few occasions, and apologized over and over, and I'm still being attacked.

 

okay, from my side here - I am not attacking you. Sure you can have your opinion. sure you can vent. but as you noted about obese people in bikinis - if you put it out there - people are likely to comment. I'm actually not upset with you in the least. Just pointing out my own opinion.

 

In yet ANOTHER (likely futile) attempt to defend myself, let me direct you to the following quotes taken from only the first 10 pages of this thread which imply this philosophy. Now, I admit most (BUT NOT ALL) of these refer to pool/beach settings. But these are public places where people are wearing whatever they want. I just need to point out that I did not get the "wherever/whenever" idea on my own. It was pointed out to me....repeatedly.

 

I don't think anyone here disagrees that you can have an opinion on what constitutes modest swimwear or even an opinion on what you think is appealing.

 

My only issue is that whether it is modest or not, whether it is moral or not, has nothing to do with how fat or pretty or maternal a person is. :confused:

 

Sorry if my inability to comprehend saying a younger woman in a bikini is okay but if you've had kids (or look like you've had kids) it's not is insulting or beats you down because it honestly is not intended to do so. It's nothing more than my personal confusion in trying to find logic and understanding for your opinion.:grouphug:

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Oh my, let's just say what I was picturing was way, WAY different! :lol: Thanks, Ladies. (My daughter actually has one of these; I just had no idea that that's what it was!)

 

ME too! I have those for some of the boys and didn't even know it! :lol:

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Firefly my dear, if our swim instructors didn't wear rashguards in our outdoor pools, their lips would turn blue and their extremities would fall off. (Oregon)

 

Actually, lots of people use them for different reasons: sun protection, warmth, they look cool. Although now that I think of it I'm not sure why they're called rashguards. Maybe some of our surfers know.

 

I love rash guards for my kids! I don't have to slather their whole bodies up with sunscreen or help the olders with their backs. They can put protection on their own arms & face. We've almost eliminated sunburns here. They dry fast, too.

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I'm sorry, Mrs. F. about your frustrations. I only skimmed the thread because it's one of the many topics that arises here repeatedly, only to have opposing sides take offense at other opinions. You of course don't know that, if you're new to the board. For those who have been around the block, the responses are so predictable as to be mundane. I would just encourage you not to take it personally and keep it all in perspective.

 

Btw, what interested me about your original post was the fact that you spoke specifically of mothers. I, on the other hand, just plain dislike bikinis. I think they're tacky, regardless of whether they're worn by little girls, teens, grown women no children, mothers of many. Whatever. Bikinis just happen to fall into my "tacky" zone and I do consider them immodest. But some people no doubt would consider my running shorts & tanks immodest, so there ya go.:)

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I wear a tankini w/ a skirted bottom to cover everything I don't want the world to see- but if I thought I could get away with it, I would definitely wear a bikini. My husband especially would love to see me in one, but I am sure he is blinded by love:tongue_smilie:

 

:D The reason I wear a tankini with a skirted bottom is so I don't ever again have to shave the nether regions muhahaha.. ;)

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Side note, I don't even know what a rashguard is. I haven't been swimming anywhere that gives me rashes... :001_huh:

 

A rash-guard is also worn for surfing so that you don't chafe from the surfboard. For example, mine is short-sleeved but I sometimes still get chafing on the inside of my arms if I'm on a wide surfboard from paddling. Other people apparently wear them for more coverage/sun-blocking purposes.

 

 

I really didn't want to come back to this thread, but when a pp directly address me, I feel the need to respond. I'm being tarred and feathered here, only for giving MY OPINION.

 

Nobody is tarring and feathering you here. They are disagreeing with you. That's not the same thing.

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Firefly my dear, if our swim instructors didn't wear rashguards in our outdoor pools, their lips would turn blue and their extremities would fall off. (Oregon)

 

Actually, lots of people use them for different reasons: sun protection, warmth, they look cool. Although now that I think of it I'm not sure why they're called rashguards. Maybe some of our surfers know.

 

I think it depends on where you live. They are basically UV shirts. If you live somewhere where you can surf, they might be called rash guards. I understood it to mean it helped keep surfers from getting a 'rugburn' type of rash when sliding on a board that wasn't waxed enough.

 

Basically they are shirts made of bathing suit material. Most little boy swim suits come with matching shirts now and those would basically be rash guards.

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Then you haven't seen previous threads with swimwear links showing what is actually available ;) There are plenty of suits that cover anywear from the rear end to the thigh, to the knee, to the calf, to the ankle. And I do mean SWIM suits, not surfing or diving gear.

 

Actually, I know all about those things. I'm from an old, old United Pentecostal Church family. ;) If anyone in my family did/does dare swim in mixed company (most of them didn't/don't at all, no matter what they're wearing) they wore things like what you're referring to. I'm talking about swimsuits that your average, non-religious person is going to go find at the mall. The things you're referring to are generally specialty items sold by, for and to people who dress conservatively for religious reasons. I've never seen a knee or ankle-length swimsuit anywhere but shops/catalogs/websites dedicated to modest dress, which essentially always goes along with conservative religions. The closest I've seen are skirt suits or short suits that go to mid-thigh, and that won't cover all of the stretchmarks or cellulite on some people. Maybe modest suits are sold elsewhere, but the majority of Americans don't even know about them, much less where to get them.

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Actually, I know all about those things. I'm from an old, old United Pentecostal Church family. ;) If anyone in my family did/does dare swim in mixed company (most of them didn't/don't at all, no matter what they're wearing) they wore things like what you're referring to. I'm talking about swimsuits that your average, non-religious person is going to go find at the mall. The things you're referring to are generally specialty items sold by, for and to people who dress conservatively for religious reasons. I've never seen a knee or ankle-length swimsuit anywhere but shops/catalogs/websites dedicated to modest dress, which essentially always goes along with conservative religions. The closest I've seen are skirt suits or short suits that go to mid-thigh, and that won't cover all of the stretchmarks or cellulite on some people. Maybe modest suits are sold elsewhere, but the majority of Americans don't even know about them, much less where to get them.

 

I was responding to "absolute" type statement you made ;) Also, word about these websites are getting out. More mamas are making them. And it's not JUST religious people, granted it may be the majority. The point is, there is a shift and it's not exclusive anymore :)

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Only if someone reposts Church Pat's Adventures in Waxing story :lol:

 

 

Barb

 

Oh, that is CLASSIC! (Not to be confused with CLASSICAL in any way :lol:)

 

ETA: I found it! In the interest of ending this thread on a lighthearted note, here is Church Pat's waxing story (warning, possibly TMI for some, but you should read it anyway :lol:)

 

http://www.welltrainedmind.com/forums/showthread.php?p=76511#poststop

Edited by melissel
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Oh, that is CLASSIC! (Not to be confused with CLASSICAL in any way :lol:)

 

ETA: I found it! In the interest of ending this thread on a lighthearted note, here is Church Pat's waxing story (warning, possibly TMI for some, but you should read it anyway :lol:)

 

http://www.welltrainedmind.com/forums/showthread.php?p=76511#poststop

 

 

:lol::lol::lol::lol:

 

Oh, thank you! That was hysterical! I really appreciate your posting this, to end this on a funny note!

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I have read that several times and it STILL makes me laugh so hard I cry. I made DH pause his show so I could TRY to read it to him. But I could barely speak. Something a penguin praying they don't have to poop just kills me!!!!!!!

 

:smilielol5::smilielol5::smilielol5::smilielol5:

 

 

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Guest lahmeh

My dd who is 7 thinks it's very strange that women WANT to show off thieir bodies! When I was 5'6" and 110 lbs I still covered up. Even as a child I was very modest. My dd was born the same way. She pulls my shirt up even at home when I have a tiny bit of cleavage showing! lol

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:iagree::iagree::iagree:

 

We don't visit public pools for this very reason. I have a 14 year old son whose mind I'd like to keep pure...not fill it with half-dressed women.

 

We have never allowed our girls (nor would I) to wear bikinis. They wear a one piece with swim shorts over it. They are too special and precious to share their bodies with every Tom, Dick, and Harry that slinks along.

 

My husband would have a stroke if I dressed like that. Not only would I die of embarrassment myself to be seen like that, but as he says, "That's mine!" I don't want to share my body with others and I want my daughters to only share with their husbands (and my son to be the only one who has looked on his wife).

 

As for dressing skimpy at church, we have had a couple of young ladies come in some pretty low-cut tops. My sister and her husband are the youth leaders and they've got a pretty fail-proof plan for this. While the boys and girls are seperated and don't have class together, they do have a worship service together on Wednesday nights before going to their seperate studies. Every girl that comes is given a modesty check-list and if she shows up with a shirt that is too low, my sister has an over-sized t-shirt that she simply gives them to slip on over their top. We haven't had anyone to show up in a skirt or shorts that were too short, but she has over-sized scrub pants to handle that scenario!

 

Let's just say, it only takes once for the girls to get the message - and she's only had to do it twice. The other girls learned pretty fast by example what is and isn't acceptable ;)

 

Some people think that women who dress like that have more respect for themselves - that they somehow have more confidence in themselves. I see it exactly the opposite. Women who dress like that generally lack self-confidnece and they have little to no respect for themselves. If they did, they wouldn't have to dress like that to get attention.

 

I want people to see my heart, who *I* am, not have their eyes stuck to my cleavage. I really don't believe that you can be any sort of example for Christ while dressing like that either. The Bible commands us to be modest.

 

Again, what are they teaching their children? They are teaching their daughters that they only time they are worth something is when they are a sex object. They are teaching their sons that women aren't to be respected and are to be treated like trash.

 

I want more for my kids.

 

 

:iagree::hurray: It's nice to know I'm not the only one who feels this way!:D

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Absolutely not, but when I am at the beach and pool, I hear the giggles and comments and it happens without fail. The young men make especially derogatory comments and it IS shallow and rude. I give all the credit to those who are comfortable enough with themselves to get out there and have fun, and not be bothered by shallow people. If your experience is different, I am glad! There is hope for humanity. Maybe it is a regional thing, also.

 

Yes, this is a far bigger issue to me than what people do or do not wear at the beach. I've been on beaches in Spain where women go topless and both genders occasionally go au natural, and I've been on a beach in Tunisia, where some of the women are wearing burkhas. Neither of these bother me, so long as the person is comfortable with who they are.

 

But people who make rude comments about other people's bodies? And to their faces? No. Unacceptable.

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