Trying to have margin.. just can't

[choirfarm]

I've been trying to add margin to my life, but life keeps happening.. I resigned from children's choir for next year and didn't do VBS, so that I could have all of June to organize and file the previous year's work, go room by room and declutter and organize, and start planning next year's work that will start July 20th... Sigh.. my father died at the end of May. We didn't even finish the school year, really and all the work is stuffed in my closet where I put it to entertain all of the relatives for the funeral. I've spent the last month, going through dad's stuff, trying to figure out will/financial stuff, having a garage sale for his stuff and being out of the rental house by yesterday. Dh had surgery last week and it was a little tougher than we thought it would be, so there went some time..

 

So here I am, 3 weeks until school starts. I do have new books out, but the room isn't organized. I do have first quarter of TOG organized and have started unit 2. But my house is a disaster. Not only haven't I decluttered, but I've added to it with all of my dad's stuff.. I am just so tired.. and no I cannot delay starting. We are barely going to finish by the end of May anyway with trips that are planned including a 2 week trip to Alaska in September.

 

 

Just wanting to vent. I'm off to clean the kitchen. It is just frustrating that I keep trying to get organized and I cannot. I always feel like I am behind.

 

Christine

[ciyates]

:grouphug: I am suppose to be using this time (my ds is at Boy Scout camp) to plan for our school year (it starts July27th). Instead I am here.:D

[LBC]

:grouphug: That is so hard. In a way, you have created margins. Imagine if all of this was happening and you were trying to do VBS and children's choir. Your margins were there, but they got filled up.

 

I don't know what to say to encourage you. I was feeling very overwhelmed a couple of weeks ago, but last week I set a goal to thoroughly clean and declutter one of the kids' rooms each day (4 kids, each with their own room), and tackle the storage area under the stairs. I took out 2 - 3 bags of garbage, 3 large (leaf bag sized) bags of clothes they were no longer wearing, and several boxes of "stuff" we didn't need. If you feel overwhelmed with the clutter, maybe you could sit down and see where you can squeeze in some time to tackle it before you do your school planning. It lifted a huge burden from my shoulders, and freed up a lot of brain space for me to focus on planning my year.

 

I wish I could come over and help you.:crying: I feel your pain.

 

Lori

[Kimm in WA]

Well, you are in better shape. You're not doing those things you gave up. A death in the family is one of those things that you have to know will upset your life for a while. Don't lose heart, but don't feel like it has to be all or nothing. It's amazing what one can do in 3 weeks. Spend a specific amount of time cleaning/organizing per day and a certain amount planning for school. Eventually you'll chip away at it and things will improve. Sometimes we are our worst critics, so cut yourself some slack and schedule in some R&R, too!

 

Kimm

[angela in ohio]

:grouphug: That is so hard. In a way, you have created margins. Imagine if all of this was happening and you were trying to do VBS and children's choir. Your margins were there, but they got filled up.

 

 

I agree. You did get margin, and it did what it is supposed to do, it made it easier to get through a tough time, it allowed you to take care of family. I keep margin so that I can be available to help others, and it often gets filled up with them and then it feels like I have none. But I think that is the point. :001_smile:

 

:grouphug: Start school in a cluttered house, and the margin will slowly come back as you finish your dad's things, and you will have time to declutter. I think raising dc and homeschooling is a recipe to always feel behind. There is always more we could do. Enough is good, though, too. :001_smile:

[choirfarm]

I am just so tired of feeling completely behind all the time. I want to be done!

[Snickerdoodle]

I'm really sorry to hear about your father.

 

:grouphug:

[LaxMom]

You are not a failure. We are never "done"; if you keep working toward that, you are going to feel like a failure because there is always, ALWAYS something new to add to the list, and items that never completely go away (like cleaning, planning, etc.). "The best laid plans of mice and men" and all that.

 

Plan to take one task at a time, in order of importance and how conducive they are to multitasking - planning would be first on my list, then putting up the previous year. Decluttering can be planned into your school schedule and done in pieces during your school year... and so forth.

 

I'm so sorry for your loss.

[chiguirre]

:iagree: with Angela, you're never done.

 

I'd try to carve out 2 days of "do whatever you want" time for yourself. Recharge your batteries and forget the clutter and planning. When you come back to it, you'll have more energy and it won't seem so overwhelming.

 

I'm sorry about your father.

 

:grouphug:

[mom4him]

I've been trying to add margin to my life, but life keeps happening.. I resigned from children's choir for next year and didn't do VBS, so that I could have all of June to organize and file the previous year's work, go room by room and declutter and organize, and start planning next year's work that will start July 20th... Sigh.. my father died at the end of May. We didn't even finish the school year, really and all the work is stuffed in my closet where I put it to entertain all of the relatives for the funeral. I've spent the last month, going through dad's stuff, trying to figure out will/financial stuff, having a garage sale for his stuff and being out of the rental house by yesterday. Dh had surgery last week and it was a little tougher than we thought it would be, so there went some time..

 

So here I am, 3 weeks until school starts. I do have new books out, but the room isn't organized. I do have first quarter of TOG organized and have started unit 2. But my house is a disaster. Not only haven't I decluttered, but I've added to it with all of my dad's stuff.. I am just so tired.. and no I cannot delay starting. We are barely going to finish by the end of May anyway with trips that are planned including a 2 week trip to Alaska in September.

 

 

Just wanting to vent. I'm off to clean the kitchen. It is just frustrating that I keep trying to get organized and I cannot. I always feel like I am behind.

 

Christine

:grouphug: I am so sorry for your lose and the difficult month you have had. You have had a lot on your plate.

I so understand the clutter thing. For me I know it is one of the most draining things in my life and still here it is. For me to get over the mountain of clutter I have to make a list of areas and tackle them one at a time, marking them off as they are finished. If I were you and had the deadline of school staring in 18 days I would make the list and schedule it out for each day along with time in each of those days to work a little bit on the curr. for next year. I would also try to schedule one or two days in there that were just for fun with my family. When I have had a day to enjoy it seems like I can get much more done in the following days.

:grouphug: again. Praying the peace that passes all understanding to rule in your heart.

[choirfarm]

I do all the things you said. So far today I have had quiet time, surfed a little, finished planning the first two units of TOG rhetoric: worksheets, timelines, maps, syllabus, etc. I started on the 2nd quarter of dialectic (I'm already through with 1st). I've picked a TON of peas I'll have to put up later, squash, tomatoes, peppers and watered a ton (spent an hour and a half doing that) Now I'm on here for a break. (In case you are wondering, I get up at 4 every day.)

 

Still on my list:

Write 10 thank you's for gifts, donations, etc for my dad

Find and organize 2 of dad's poems

Supervise kids cleaning out, organizing the car (Our Friday job)

Start decluttering my bathroom

Put up the tons of bell peppers and jalepanoes while kids shell the peas while we watch Benji

Do our typical 30 to 45 minute go through the house and clean, surface declutter

I would really like to finish the dialectic 2nd quarter worksheets and stuff (I have to redo them, leave spaces, etc.)

Oh.. and the repairman is coming to fix the dryer which is still under warranty and has been broken for 3 weeks and the dishwasher which hasn't worked for about a month. The kids and I are tired of washing everything by hand...

 

Well, break is over.

 

Christine

[Garga]

Is there a friend/grandparent/dh who will take your kids for the WHOLE day for a couple of days?

 

Like, if DH could take them out on a field trip to a museum or something, and then the park or McD's play area so you could have 6 uninterrupted hours to devote just to getting ready for school?

 

And then is there a g'parent or friend who would do the same thing on another day? Maybe the kids could have a playdate at a friend's house for a few hours another day? If it's a close enough friend you could swap child-watching times.

 

Don't know the ages or amount of your kids, so that might not work. What made me think of it is that right now, my dh is taking both sons on a hike and I'll get about 4 hours by myself to get a dent in some projects I need to do. (After I take a breather here after running around the house to get them out the door.) Those 4 hours can make a BIG difference if there are no interruptions from kids.

[mom4him]

I do all the things you said. So far today I have had quiet time, surfed a little, finished planning the first two units of TOG rhetoric: worksheets, timelines, maps, syllabus, etc. I started on the 2nd quarter of dialectic (I'm already through with 1st). I've picked a TON of peas I'll have to put up later, squash, tomatoes, peppers and watered a ton (spent an hour and a half doing that) Now I'm on here for a break. (In case you are wondering, I get up at 4 every day.)

 

Still on my list:

Write 10 thank you's for gifts, donations, etc for my dad

Find and organize 2 of dad's poems

Supervise kids cleaning out, organizing the car (Our Friday job)

Start decluttering my bathroom

Put up the tons of bell peppers and jalepanoes while kids shell the peas while we watch Benji

Do our typical 30 to 45 minute go through the house and clean, surface declutter

I would really like to finish the dialectic 2nd quarter worksheets and stuff (I have to redo them, leave spaces, etc.)

Oh.. and the repairman is coming to fix the dryer which is still under warranty and has been broken for 3 weeks and the dishwasher which hasn't worked for about a month. The kids and I are tired of washing everything by hand...

 

Well, break is over.

 

Christine

Sounds to me like you are doing GREAT! You have already accomplished much today! Just keep up the good work and don't forget to give yourself those breaks. I love that you had the 'Find and organize 2 of dad's poems'. Giving yourself time to grieve the loss of your father is very important in the midst of it all.

[gr8tcook]

I am sorry your dad is gone. You are doing Great!!!! Just keep chipping away. We who are at home don't have an office to leave our work at. It surrounds us all the time. Do you have a friend you trust who will come and sit and talk to you while you declutter so you don't feel alone...or even someone who is born organized that can help you. Sometimes we feel overwhelmed because we feel alone.