s/o teen boys and clothing

[elegantlion]

This thought stemmed from the teen finance thread, when do boys start taking an interest in clothing? Never? Once they notice girls are not alien creatures?

 

I like the idea of making my ds responsible for his clothing purchases. At 11 he likes only a certain style of clothing, nylon shorts and t-shirts. Fortunately we live in a warm climate with three seasons, chilly, nice, and blazing hot, so shorts can be worn almost year round. But as he grows the style he like is no longer available (yes he likes a certain brand) and thrift store selection in his size is usually worn out. He would wear the same shirts and shorts until they fell off and were super tight is he could.

 

 

So if you give money to your teen boy to include clothing do you require they make certain purchases? Do you make them still follow appearance guidelines at home or before leaving the house? Or do you pray the constant reminding you've done over the years will kick in at this point? Do you send them shopping with dh? (My dh buys most of his own clothes)

 

As with curriculum I'm planning ahead. Thanks for any advice, tips, BTDTs. :D

[Chris in VA]

A little peer pressure here can be a good thing--but it's a mighty fine line.

I think I'd still offer lots and lots of guidance for an 11 yo.

You mention he likes tight clothes--any sensory issues here? It might be hard for him to find something that is comfy. He might not be comfortable in what is usually thought of as comfortable, i.e., loose or baggy (which happens to still be the style). I think just going with him and finding a happy medium might work. There are skater-style skinny jeans and board shorts that have waists that can be tightened. The tightened waist may give him the feeling he's after, even if it's just around the waist.

Just some thoughts.

[Pamela H in Texas]

If there are certain things you just can't live without your kid having, you make those purchases for him. You only let him make all the decisions on the things you can give up control about. You don't want to require HE makes certain purchases.

 

So say you decided his monthly clothing allowance was $600 but you feel that good shoes and a jacket are necessities, you may decide to only give HIM $500 for the year, purchasing the shoes and jacket for him yourself.

 

The only requirement *I* have for my teen son is that the shirt doesn't have a hole in it when we leave the house and that for many trips he wears socks and shoes (which he regularly "argues" about). Well, and for Christian Meetings, he wears a suit, but that is a given ds wouldn't fuss about (though sometimes he's not thrilled with wearing a tie).

 

So we do make sure he has suits and shoes. Past that, he's capable of shopping for himself.

 

And NO, I would NEVER dream of sending hubby and son shopping together. I don't think either would survive THAT. LOL

[RoughCollie]

I don't just hand over money to my teens so they can buy clothing.

 

First, I continue to teach them how they determine what they need to buy. Current wardrobe - clothes that no longer fit = usable wardrobe.

 

Current total wardrobe needs - usable wardrobe = clothing which needs to be purchased.

 

Second, I teach them the about comparison shopping and sales.

 

Third, we look at the stores they like online, determine which clothes they like, and how much they cost.

 

Fourth, we make a budget based on our price research, which includes underwear, socks and outerwear for each pertinent season.

 

Fifth, I show them how to read the label regarding washing instructions. No dryclean-only clothing, no clothing that has to air dry or be handwashed. (So far that hasn't been a problem.)

 

The boys hate to try on clothes, but I insist they try on one shirt and a pair of pants for each brand they like. They don't mind trying on shoes.

 

Then I take them to the mall and they make their selections and call me on their cell phones so I can come inside to pay. At that time, I look at what they have selected, and it's all predictable. Their wardrobes are just like those of every other boy their age.

 

Eventually, they will be able to do this on their own, to my satisfaction, and I will cut them loose.

 

This is for the boys only. Handling my DD's wardrobe and shopping is an entirely different kettle of fish.

Edited June 30, 2009 by RoughCollie

[Danestress]

He knows what he likes - it just sounds like it's hard to find it.

 

My oldest son was always really interested in what he wore. He had strong opinions about it as a child and still does. He is 21 and buys his own clothes - sort of "The Gap" look. He usually looks nice but casual. Very casual. He also insisted on wearing jeans year round for many years because he didn't like his legs:)

 

My twins are 11. One is pretty oblivious to what he wears. The 0ther cares more. He has favorite clothes items so he wants me to do laundry frequently so that they are clean. Neither likes the process of clothes shopping. I do it with them - not their Dad. They definitely will wear their favorite items until they are too small or just in shreds. I was their same way.

[Peggy in Va]

This thought stemmed from the teen finance thread, when do boys start taking an interest in clothing? Never? Once they notice girls are not alien creatures?

 

I like the idea of making my ds responsible for his clothing purchases. At 11 he likes only a certain style of clothing, nylon shorts and t-shirts. Fortunately we live in a warm climate with three seasons, chilly, nice, and blazing hot, so shorts can be worn almost year round. But as he grows the style he like is no longer available (yes he likes a certain brand) and thrift store selection in his size is usually worn out. He would wear the same shirts and shorts until they fell off and were super tight is he could.

 

 

So if you give money to your teen boy to include clothing do you require they make certain purchases? Do you make them still follow appearance guidelines at home or before leaving the house? Or do you pray the constant reminding you've done over the years will kick in at this point? Do you send them shopping with dh? (My dh buys most of his own clothes)

 

As with curriculum I'm planning ahead. Thanks for any advice, tips, BTDTs. :D

 

My oldest ds actually wanted input when was about 5, middle ds only started caring last summer shortly before he turned 12 and it was over the color of sneakers, and youngest hasn't said anything yet.

 

When I was about 13 my mom set me up with a clothing allowance each month. At the beginning of the school year she would take me shopping and pay for school clothes, etc. but that was it. Anything else I wanted came out of the allowance. She set aside $15 a month, keep in mind we're taking about 35 years ago, so it bought more than it would today. But, it wasn't so much that I didn't have to save.

 

As far as guidelines, she trusted my style sense. The only item I ever remember her telling me to return was a pair of shoes that really were inappropriate for a 14 yog (think really high platform shoes from early '70s). As she said, "If you wear those you might as well be standing on a street corner." She was correct, and the shoes were returned.

 

The idea behind my mom giving me the money was more of learning how to handle it and save. Although we haven't started giving ds money, I have started asking his opinion on items and trying to point out items that are considered a bit more trendy. That's the look he's trying for but simply has no style sense. In the trendy dept. I think it's definitely easier with boys than girls. I can't even imagine having to dress a girl in this day and age.

[elegantlion]

Thanks everyone, I'm reading through these replies as I suck down my second cup of coffee. I appreciate the input.

[FunnyFarmMom]

If there are certain things you just can't live without your kid having, you make those purchases for him. You only let him make all the decisions on the things you can give up control about. You don't want to require HE makes certain purchases.

 

So say you decided his monthly clothing allowance was $600 but you feel that good shoes and a jacket are necessities, you may decide to only give HIM $500 for the year, purchasing the shoes and jacket for him yourself.

 

The only requirement *I* have for my teen son is that the shirt doesn't have a hole in it when we leave the house and that for many trips he wears socks and shoes (which he regularly "argues" about). Well, and for Christian Meetings, he wears a suit, but that is a given ds wouldn't fuss about (though sometimes he's not thrilled with wearing a tie).

 

So we do make sure he has suits and shoes. Past that, he's capable of shopping for himself.

 

And NO, I would NEVER dream of sending hubby and son shopping together. I don't think either would survive THAT. LOL

 

We do give our almost 13yo ds a clothing allowance, but my philosophy is a little different than Pamela's. I think it is part of the learning to require that certain clothing be maintained out of his budget. Part of our agreement is that he must have a pair of khaki pants that fit and, while he can wear jeans to church, he must wear them with a collared shirt. I think that is just real life. There are always clothes that life requires that I would prefer not to spend money on, but that is just reality. He also has to budget for his football cleats, winter jackets, and barn boots for work. Since he is still very much in the beginning learner phase with this, I still work with him on the planning, but I foresee getting out of his way on that within the next year. He has made some mistakes - but that's where he will learn (hopefully!) to make better choices next time. BTW, he gets $50 per month.

[LibraryLover]

My 15 yr old only cares about clothing enough to not want to look like a dork. ;) So, yk, it's difficult to buy him clothing...because one pair of old navy or Gap jeans look like every other pair of jeans to me. But apparently, they are all not the same.

 

If I stick to buying the same things over and over, he's fine. He does not like great variety. He does not like to shop, not one little bit. H's pretty easy to please, as long, as I said, buy the same style over and over.

 

Currently, it's loose khaki shorts or madras-ish plaid ones with basic ts. Easy.

 

He does look like he is wearing the same outfits over and over, which he isn't.

[swimmermom3]

This thought stemmed from the teen finance thread, when do boys start taking an interest in clothing? Never? Once they notice girls are not alien creatures?

 

I like the idea of making my ds responsible for his clothing purchases. At 11 he likes only a certain style of clothing, nylon shorts and t-shirts. Fortunately we live in a warm climate with three seasons, chilly, nice, and blazing hot, so shorts can be worn almost year round. But as he grows the style he like is no longer available (yes he likes a certain brand) and thrift store selection in his size is usually worn out. He would wear the same shirts and shorts until they fell off and were super tight is he could.

 

 

So if you give money to your teen boy to include clothing do you require they make certain purchases? Do you make them still follow appearance guidelines at home or before leaving the house? Or do you pray the constant reminding you've done over the years will kick in at this point? Do you send them shopping with dh? (My dh buys most of his own clothes)

 

As with curriculum I'm planning ahead. Thanks for any advice, tips, BTDTs. :D

 

In our house, children old enough to have clothing allowances are responsible for all purchases. They receive their allowance in biweekly payments that correspond to dh's paycheck. When a child starts receiving an allowance (around 7th-8th grade depending on maturity level) we sit down and go over all possible purchases: underwear, socks, coats-the things that aren't glamorous to buy. They each have a checkbook register where they keep track of their money and purchases.

 

Attire has to follow certain rules. Occasionally, they will test and step outside the rules. That's fine. I just remind them that they may choose that item of clothing and I may choose not to take them to a particular function where the clothing is inappropriate. The older two usually decide that their budgets aren't big enough to support that luxury of expression.:D

 

My middle (ds-14) has been interested in clothes since he was 12. His older sister takes him shopping, much to my relief.

 

We do pay for Civil Air Patrol uniforms, swim gear, and running shoes unless, someone loses an item. Then they pay.

[elegantlion]

 

He does look like he is wearing the same outfits over and over, which he isn't.

 

That's where my ds is right now. I laughingly call it his uniform. Nylon shorts in every color and a tee with one stripe on the chest. I think we have every color combination available.

 

Again thanks to everyone for their info, I'm absorbing it all.

[Cedarmom]

We pay for my sons clothing. He usually only wants stuff he needs. He is a t-shirt and jeans guy. If he wants something that is ore expensive than the budget allows he can pay the difference. Or I tell him he can pay the difference and he opts for the cheaper item because he wants to spend the money on computer games. The only time he dresses up is for debate and then he is picky about what he wears.

 

Once we went to a family reunion across the country. I told him to bring a nice outfit. He brought jeans and a "nice" t-shirt :001_smile:Obviously he and I differ on what is considered dressy attire!