Danestress Posted June 26, 2009 Share Posted June 26, 2009 (edited) Nevermind! Edited June 26, 2009 by Danestress Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthwestMom Posted June 26, 2009 Share Posted June 26, 2009 My mother had Alzheimer's. I have been in your shoes. I think you need to gently and firmly persist about this if there is a risk of falling or being unable to walk. Not only would that be terrible for your father, but it will make caring for him much more difficult. Falling would be terrible for him, and your mother might end up injured as well. Falling is a real concern - my mother died of pneumonia one week after falling and breaking a hip. Keep up the work of advocacy. I think that generation is not only very respectful of doctors, they are also afraid that is they openly question their doctor it will be perceived as hostile or rude, and then they might not get taken care of as well. At one point in my caregiving life I was the "bad cop" to my mother's "good cop" - I got to say what needed to be said, she got to act embarrassed and apologetic, but the doctor had to respond to my questions and concerns. It worked for us. Good luck to you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted June 26, 2009 Share Posted June 26, 2009 :grouphug: I'm sorry this is so hard, truly. Could you give your mom your concerns in writing? An email perhaps? She might be so tired and so overwhelmed (even if she appears to be handling things with grace) that she is not processing it well. In black-and-white she can read it a few times and have a little more time/cushion to think it through and deal with it. Or if writing it will not work, can you say, outright, all that you have said in your post? Be persistent. This is important. Also, would you feel comfortable calling the dr yourself? He cannot discuss the case with you, but he CAN legally listen to your concerns. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LizzyBee Posted June 26, 2009 Share Posted June 26, 2009 (edited) If you ever need to talk or vent to someone who's been there, feel free to PM me and I'll send you my phone number. Edited June 27, 2009 by LizzyBee Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama Bear Posted June 26, 2009 Share Posted June 26, 2009 Having not read your OP, I'm just going to throw out a book title that my mom found helfpul when dealing with her FIL, my grandfather. :) The Thirty-six Hour Day, by Peter Rabins. It's addressed to caregivers for people with Alzheimers. Hugs to you. I'm sorry things are hard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LizzyBee Posted June 27, 2009 Share Posted June 27, 2009 Having not read your OP, I'm just going to throw out a book title that my mom found helfpul when dealing with her FIL, my grandfather. :) The Thirty-six Hour Day, by Peter Rabins. It's addressed to caregivers for people with Alzheimers. Hugs to you. I'm sorry things are hard. My mom really liked that book, too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted June 27, 2009 Author Share Posted June 27, 2009 I deleted the post because I just didn't feel good about typing out complaints about family members on a basically public forum (though the typing was therapy itself!). I appreciate the responses. I do own a well thumbed copy of The 36 Hour Day. Love Dana Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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