Heather in Neverland Posted June 21, 2009 Share Posted June 21, 2009 (edited) UPDATE ON #25 OK, so here is the background... My husband and his sister are not close at all. Never have been. The only time we ever see or talk to her, her husband, and her kids is birthdays and holidays. We have polite conversation at these events but that is it. Dh and his sister never got along so polite conversation is a big step. Today, out of nowhere, her 16yo son (our nephew) called my dh and asked him if he is taking his golf clubs to Malaysia when we move. We have decided not to bring them for now (we have good reasons) but we may bring them later. Nephew wants to know if he can "borrow" the clubs while we are gone. My dh, who has issues with setting boundaries with people, says yes (he always says yes to everything). Right after he gets off the phone he starts to regret it. But he feels like he already said yes so he has to do it now. 1. Dh's clubs are a very nice, rather expensive set. 2. When you "borrow" something from someone for TWO YEARS (maybe longer) I think that is called owning it? 3. After using the clubs multiple times over a two year time span the clubs are not going to be in very good shape. This family is not known for taking good care of their belongings. Personally, I think it is rather presumptuous to call your relative that you only talk to a few times a year and barely know and ask to "borrow" and use a very expensive item for two years! I think dh should tell nephew he changed his mind. Dh feels guilty aboout saying yes then taking it back. What says the hive? Edited June 21, 2009 by Heather in NC Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snickerdoodle Posted June 21, 2009 Share Posted June 21, 2009 I'm sorry nephew. I had a lot of things on my mind at the time that we talked about the clubs. But now that I've had a minute to think about it, I've changed my mind. I'm sorry, but I'm sure you'll understand. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snickerdoodle Posted June 21, 2009 Share Posted June 21, 2009 It's honestly OK to change your mind. Not every decision is cast in stone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bkpan Posted June 21, 2009 Share Posted June 21, 2009 I would be proud of your dh. Golf clubs are things, and despite the rocky road with sister, they are his family. Perhaps this could be seen as a first step toward deepening that relationship a bit? Yes, it was bold of nephew to ask, but use this as an opportunity to show a welcoming spirit to family. Why let them just sit somewhere gathering dust when someone could be enjoying them? HTH! Kim Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
specialmama Posted June 21, 2009 Share Posted June 21, 2009 Flashback. I'm 16. I have uncles and aunts that I wish I were closer to. It's not my fault that the grown-ups don't get together enough for me to bond with them. I wonder if I called uncle Gerry and went out on a limb and asked for xyz? He'll probably say no. Mom says don't do it. She thinks he'll say no. But why wouldn't he want to do this for me? Doesn't he want to get to know me, have a relationship with me? Maybe it's time we have our own relationship apart from the other adults. Maybe he'll prove mom wrong. Maybe.... I mean, what's the worst that can happen? ********************** Don't know if that helped much, Heather. I don't know what I would do if I were in your or your husband's shoes. But I can certainly relate to the boy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatCyndiGirl Posted June 21, 2009 Share Posted June 21, 2009 "On second thought, Nephew, we hear that the golfing in Malaysia is AMAZING!! Takin' the clubs!!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corraleno Posted June 21, 2009 Share Posted June 21, 2009 As someone with presumptuous relatives who have frequently taken advantage of me and my family, I'm with the OP on this one. In fact, we were totally screwed not once but twice by one of my nephews. We have also been taken advantage of financially by other relatives. It seems like "borrowing" is code these days for taking something and never returning it or paying it back. Perhaps DH could call his nephew and say "I just wanted to double check that you understand how much these clubs are worth" and ask if his nephew (and his sister) are prepared to replace them if anything happened to them. Or he could say that he's decided to sell the clubs to help finance the move and offer to sell them to his nephew for a reasonable price. At least that would be better than "loaning" them and never getting them back! I fear the odds are very high that the clubs will end up lost or damaged, the sister/nephew will shrug and say "big deal," and the family relationships will be more strained than ever. :sad: Jackie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corraleno Posted June 21, 2009 Share Posted June 21, 2009 Flashback. I'm 16.I have uncles and aunts that I wish I were closer to. It's not my fault that the grown-ups don't get together enough for me to bond with them. I wonder if I called uncle Gerry and went out on a limb and asked for xyz? He'll probably say no. Mom says don't do it. She thinks he'll say no. But why wouldn't he want to do this for me? Doesn't he want to get to know me, have a relationship with me? Maybe it's time we have our own relationship apart from the other adults. Maybe he'll prove mom wrong. Maybe.... I mean, what's the worst that can happen? I think if the nephew really wanted to get to know his uncle, he'd propose a fishing trip or ask for golf lessons or suggest some other activity where they could get to know each other. It seems suspicious to me that the only time this kid has called his uncle is when he wants free access to some very expensive golf clubs. Jackie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OhM Posted June 21, 2009 Share Posted June 21, 2009 I'm sorry nephew. I had a lot of things on my mind at the time that we talked about the clubs. But now that I've had a minute to think about it, I've changed my mind. I'm sorry, but I'm sure you'll understand. :iagree: I have a similar relationship w/my brother - maybe a bit worse - grit-teeth kind of cordial; limited contact. He talked me into selling him my motorcycle (for his step-son) on an installment plan. Rec'd a down payment (of 10% of total), hear nothing from him for 2 months, he has a fight with stepson, who takes off on the bike and wrecks it. The bike is impounded when he's picked up for driving w/o a license (my brother called the cops on him after he ran away.) My brother calls to tell me they don't want the bike anymore. He's "willing" to get it out of impound for me, but he needs me to drive the title to him (he lives 1 1/2 hours away) for him to do this. So I have my damaged bike back. Has he ever offered to fix it for me? Nope. He just avoids me now even more than he did in the past (which at this point it really fine w/me.) Dumb-a$$. :cursing: Long story short: family harmony and closeness will be better preserved by not loaning the clubs! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WTMCassandra Posted June 21, 2009 Share Posted June 21, 2009 I think he should suck it up and call back and tell them he changed his mind, unless he is 100% willing to completely kiss those clubs good-bye. Seriously. There can be a little bit of awkwardness now, or a HUGE amount of awkwardness later when the clubs are lost/damaged/stolen/otherwise not returned. But if he changes his mind now, then at least the awkwardness will not be accompanied by a large amount of pain and resentment at having his clubs gone later. And, he might worry the whole time in Malaysia what's happening to them. I say it's not worth it. If DH really thinks he wants to build a relationship with this young person, why not buy him a starter set of clubs and take him out once or twice before you guys leave? I would say it would be cheaper and emotionally healthier all around. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amyco Posted June 21, 2009 Share Posted June 21, 2009 Unless he is prepared to think of the clubs as a gift to his nephew, he shouldn't loan them. That's what my mama always said about loaning stuff...don't loan it unless you are prepared to lose it--including money, books, tools, carpet cleaners...and golf clubs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeatherInWI Posted June 21, 2009 Share Posted June 21, 2009 Is he a man of his word, or not? I would say that he shouldn't have agreed to the loan, but now that he has, he should go through with it. Otherwise, nephew will know, always, that uncle is not to be trusted because he doesn't keep his promises. It would be sad to lose the clubs, but a lot sadder to be known for not following through. I would think that backing out would also be proof to the nephew of anything negative that his mom has ever said about your dh. That doesn't rule out having a loan contract or something for replacement or repair of damaged clubs, etc., though! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted June 21, 2009 Share Posted June 21, 2009 Unless he is prepared to think of the clubs as a gift to his nephew, he shouldn't loan them. That's what my mama always said about loaning stuff...don't loan it unless you are prepared to lose it--including money, books, tools, carpet cleaners...and golf clubs. Yep, this is how I feel too. Pack them away deep, and tell nephew that "sorry, you can't get to them right now. " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted June 21, 2009 Share Posted June 21, 2009 I agree, don't lend them unless you're prepared to consider them gone. Just a simple, "I'm sorry, I changed my mind and we're taking them with us." will do...or simply, "I'm sorry, I've decided not to loan them out." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eternalknot Posted June 21, 2009 Share Posted June 21, 2009 What is your attachment? Are you more attached to the idea of preserving the clubs so that you maintain the option of bringing them to Malaysia at a later date? If so, then there are ways to gracefully re-neg on the original agreement. There is even honesty :) "I answered prematurely without thinking it through; while I'd love to lend you my clubs, I don't think I'll be able to follow through at this time. When/if I decide they won't make the trip to malaysia, I'll keep you in mind." Are you more attached to the idea of family, however strained the relationship? If so, then realize that however expensive the clubs are ... they are "things" (and replaceable at that). Move stress-free knowing that even if it is a one-sided feeling, your emphasis on family over possessions is a right way to live. I say 'right' in the Buddhist sense, maybe the Christian way is to say "Christ-like" way to live? I don't know, sorry. I suppose the question is really: what is your HUSBAND's attachment ... No right or wrong answer, btw, just differing perspectives so you can feel confident in whichever decision you make. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SonshineLearner Posted June 21, 2009 Share Posted June 21, 2009 I'd say that you decided you need the $$$ and you really need to sell them at the garage sale...And do it:-) Of course, I have no idea how much you spent on them...and how much you could get. Carrie:-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KJB Posted June 21, 2009 Share Posted June 21, 2009 As someone who has moved a million times, and regretfully has possessions in various storage places literally all over the US, I'd give them to the nephew. I wouldn't lend them, I'd *give* them. From my perspective, and it's taken years to get to this point, they are just things. Right now, you sound like you're hanging on to things for some security (referencing the post about "all my stuff's on a boat"). That's what happens when you move. Also, you mistakenly think that the things you own that are worth something to you today will be just as important to you in a few years. That's often not the case. Golf clubs are replaceable (even expensive ones), nephews are not. No question your nephew has overstepped, but what a terrific uncle dh would be to just give him the clubs. Somewhere down the line, when dh wants to golf again, *you* could gift him with a new set of even nicer clubs. This even gives you time to plan and save if that's what it takes. Nothing wrong at all to be the bigger man when it comes to his relationship with his sister, it just makes him cool. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LostSurprise Posted June 21, 2009 Share Posted June 21, 2009 First of all, nephew is not SIL. Nor is any particular behavior (irresponsible, etc) a given. Second, this is your husband's family and if he's agreed, even if he wishes he hadn't and grouses about it to no end, the likelihood is that he won't do anything to change this. From your words it sounds like this is part of his generous (and sometimes passive) character. Personally, I think the best response is to buy a cheap set (garage sale/craigslist) and have dh call nephew and offer to take him out golfing before you go. "I was excited to hear you were taking up golf and thought you might prefer your own set. Since you've called I've thought about taking these with me. Let's get together when we get back so I can watch you beat me." A cheaper solution than the worry and bad blood within the family, not to mention replacing the expensive clubs if something does happen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LoriM Posted June 21, 2009 Share Posted June 21, 2009 As someone who has moved a million times, and regretfully has possessions in various storage places literally all over the US, I'd give them to the nephew. I wouldn't lend them, I'd *give* them. From my perspective, and it's taken years to get to this point, they are just things. Right now, you sound like you're hanging on to things for some security (referencing the post about "all my stuff's on a boat"). That's what happens when you move. Also, you mistakenly think that the things you own that are worth something to you today will be just as important to you in a few years. That's often not the case. Golf clubs are replaceable (even expensive ones), nephews are not. No question your nephew has overstepped, but what a terrific uncle dh would be to just give him the clubs. Somewhere down the line, when dh wants to golf again, *you* could gift him with a new set of even nicer clubs. This even gives you time to plan and save if that's what it takes. Nothing wrong at all to be the bigger man when it comes to his relationship with his sister, it just makes him cool. :iagree: After moving for 23 years with the USAF, and storing things for the three years we were in AK, I can honestly say I have never missed ANYTHING we left behind, sold in a yard sale, or gave away. And when I did store things and "got them back" I couldn't believe the junk I held onto. Give him the clubs. Encourage him to apply for golf scholarships to college. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RegGuheert Posted June 21, 2009 Share Posted June 21, 2009 Your post could have been written by MomsintheGarden. I have *always* given more of my time and our possessions to others in my family (and outside the family) than she felt was reasonable. Simply put, I feel I have the spiritual gift of "helps" and she does not. Early in our marriage, this was a major cause of stress in our relationship, but now she understands that this is who I am and she honors that. This benefits both of us, since I am now free to be myself and she does not spend energy and time that she doesn't have trying to repress that part of me. There is also a lot less stress in our relationship than there used to be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keptwoman Posted June 21, 2009 Share Posted June 21, 2009 :iagree: After moving for 23 years with the USAF, and storing things for the three years we were in AK, I can honestly say I have never missed ANYTHING we left behind, sold in a yard sale, or gave away. And when I did store things and "got them back" I couldn't believe the junk I held onto. Give him the clubs. Encourage him to apply for golf scholarships to college. :) Yes. Really, likely you will never take them to Malaysia with you unless you take them upfront. I'd either take them upfront and tell nephew sorry but you changed your mind, or let nephew have them. It wasn't very gracious of nephew but perhaps it can be the beginning of a relationship, blokes bond over golf.... or so I'm told. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SquirrellyMama Posted June 21, 2009 Share Posted June 21, 2009 Is it possible that you could buy nephew a cheaper set of clubs? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted June 21, 2009 Share Posted June 21, 2009 I'd vote with telling nephew, I changed my mind. And I asked if he did not have his own set of clubs. If nephew did not have a set, I'd assist in purchasing a cheap set, obtaining a used set through craigs list, or freecycle (my own son's are freecycle). After a set was obtained, I'd play a round with nephew before going to Malaysia. While posters suggest you have to go through with the giving because this will just drive another wedge between the sister and dh, I think the wedge is already there, so changing your mind won't hurt or help. It sounds like coming back to poorly cared for clubs would also be a problem for the relationship. If your plan was actually to sell some of your belongings as well as store some and you had not put the clubs on the sell list, you should sell them if you aren't taking them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted June 21, 2009 Share Posted June 21, 2009 I'd vote with telling nephew, I changed my mind. And I asked if he did not have his own set of clubs. If nephew did not have a set, I'd assist in purchasing a cheap set, obtaining a used set through craigs list, or freecycle (my own son's are freecycle). After a set was obtained, I'd play a round with nephew before going to Malaysia. While posters suggest you have to go through with the giving because this will just drive another wedge between the sister and dh, I think the wedge is already there, so changing your mind won't hurt or help. It sounds like coming back to poorly cared for clubs would also be a problem for the relationship. If your plan was actually to sell some of your belongings as well as store some and you had not put the clubs on the sell list, you should sell them if you aren't taking them. Huh? Why on earth *should* they sell them? Just because nephew is interested in 'borrowing' uncle's quite expensive set of golf clubs? I see nothing at all wrong with telling nephew 'No' and sticking them in storage. Family is not obligated to loan things to family. There's no such thing as 'DNA Dibs!' on your stuff. Totally not understanding why you'd be telling the OP to sell an expensive set of golf clubs when that's never been mentioned as a possibility for her dh. :confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in Neverland Posted June 21, 2009 Author Share Posted June 21, 2009 (edited) Thank you all for your advice. Here is the deal....a lot of this has to do with me if I am being truthful. I come from a very generous, close-knit family. They will do anything for you, give you the shirt off their back even if it is the last one they have. When we were adopting our youngest from Korea, the day came to "pay up" and we were short. My brother, who is not rich by any means, gave us a present of $2000 so we could pay for the adoption. He has never mentioned it since. My husband's family OTOH is the CHEAPEST, STINGIEST, most non-generous people I have ever met. They won't do anything for anyone. When we first married we bought the house dh grew up in from dh's dad at a really good price. I thought wow, what a great guy. BUT HE NEVER LET US FORGET IT. I have listened for 13 years about it. :glare: When we first married and were struggling we asked his dad for a loan of $3000 that we needed for many reasons. He said NO. He has LOTS of money, over a million in the bank. My mom gave us the money even though she only makes $12 an hour. And we paid her back within the year even though she refused to take it back (I called the loan place for her car and put it all toward her balance...you have to be sneaky with that woman :D). Anyways, my point is I reacted strongly about the clubs because these are not people down on their luck. They are just cheap people who always want something for nothing and have no problem asking it of people they barely know, family or not. This is not about building relationships. I can guess that my nephew probably asked his mom for clubs and she told him to call his uncle and ask to borrow them instead. Even though she can't stand her brother she has no problems asking this of him. BUT We talked last night and after prayer and time to cool off....as a father's day gift to my husband who wants to be the bigger person in this, I told him to give the clubs to his nephew and I will buy him a new set for father's day. I need to be more gracious to those who are unkind to me so I could learn a lot from my husband in this. :blushing: Edited June 21, 2009 by Heather in NC Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted June 21, 2009 Share Posted June 21, 2009 Huh? Why on earth *should* they sell them? Just because nephew is interested in 'borrowing' uncle's quite expensive set of golf clubs? I see nothing at all wrong with telling nephew 'No' and sticking them in storage. Family is not obligated to loan things to family. There's no such thing as 'DNA Dibs!' on your stuff. Totally not understanding why you'd be telling the OP to sell an expensive set of golf clubs when that's never been mentioned as a possibility for her dh. :confused: selling has nothing to do with the nephew. it has to do with decisions about storage costs. Often people sell things before a move--I made a jump that the OP did not put there. If the clubs aren't going to be used for 3 years it makes more sense to sell them. If her dh is into golf enough that his clubs are "very expensive" , but not brand new now the technology in golfing equipment will be enough different that it would likely be time for newer clubs anyway. If he's considering storing them, he may not be as into golf as he really thought. It's just a practical logical analysis of what to do with "stuff" when you move and the nephew should not come into the analysis. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted June 21, 2009 Share Posted June 21, 2009 I'm glad you found a solution that works for your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alicia64 Posted June 21, 2009 Share Posted June 21, 2009 A couple of days ago a friend of mine planned to meet at a community pool w/ the kids and get pizza after. She invited another friend to join us later for pizza at her house (oh, no biggie) and then stayed at the pool for 5 mins. before asking me to watch her son while she went to pick up the pizza. Her son is not the strongest swimmer so I felt like I needed to eyeball him the entire time. She was gone well over an hour. We'd never agreed to my watching her son (and my two) at the pool alone. My two are strong swimmers, but I want to keep my eye on them, not on someone else's child. Her baby was in daycare at the club and she handed me a sticker that said my name in case the workers came out to find the person responsible for the baby. This won't happen again. I know you get my point -- in your dh's case, he knows who/what he's dealing with (people who've taught their kids not to care for things) and he needs to speak up and "edit" his first comment: sorry, no-can-do, these babies are coming with me! I love how Oprah says "listen to people when they tell you who they are." Alicia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greta Posted June 21, 2009 Share Posted June 21, 2009 We talked last night and after prayer and time to cool off....as a father's day gift to my husband who wants to be the bigger person in this, I told him to give the clubs to his nephew and I will buy him a new set for father's day. I need to be more gracious to those who are unkind to me so I could learn a lot from my husband in this. :blushing: Wow. I am really impressed, Heather. It's hard to be generous with people who you know don't even appreciate it. Kudos to you and your dh. I wish I could say that I would be that gracious, but I'm not sure. But you've given me a good example to reflect on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammy Posted June 21, 2009 Share Posted June 21, 2009 Heather....you seem like a wonderful person! I am glad you got it all worked out....You can certainly hold your head high and reap the benefits (in your heart) of your generosity! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AuntieM Posted June 21, 2009 Share Posted June 21, 2009 I admit my knee-jerk reaction was to say your dh should tell the kid he changed his mind. But what a gracious bunch of replies showed up, coming down on the other side of the fence. I am glad to have read this thread and to see the kind hearts - and your wonderful family's decision, Heather - that urged you to choose a different course than I would have been tempted to decide. I have a feeling that this is only the first of many "sacrifices" and challenging day-to-day decisions you will face as you embark on a new life experience in Malaysia. Remember this event as a reminder that erring on the side of grace is almost always certain to produce a better outcome than erring on the side of the law (hope you follow my logic there... am I making sense?). My husband has a theory about the opportunities we have in life to share money and possessions with others. In a nutshell, he says that it is our responsibility before God to be generous with what He has given us. The outcome - how responsible the recipient is with the gift - is not our responsibility. That person is then responsible to God for how he values the gift. When I keep that point of view in mind, it is much easier to be generous and resist any resentment that might otherwise spring up. (Wow, this paragraph is a grammar teacher's nightmare...) Don't let this bog you down, you have lots more exciting things to be thinking of! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in Neverland Posted June 21, 2009 Author Share Posted June 21, 2009 So we show up at my FIL's for a barbecue today and of course the first thing nephew wanted to know was where the golf clubs are. We told him they are in the back of the van. He went outside, took them out of our van, put them in his van and never said a word. No "thank you" ...nothing. :glare: I felt that same resentful spirit rearing its ugly head in me but I beat it back down, bit my tongue and did my best to let it go. God is still working on me. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammy Posted June 21, 2009 Share Posted June 21, 2009 I would have had to 'force' a thank you from him, LOL. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaT Posted June 21, 2009 Share Posted June 21, 2009 Your in-laws sound like mine. You were the bigger person. Good for you. Don't let the resentment eat at you though. It will only hurt you, not them. Ask me how I know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama Anna Posted June 22, 2009 Share Posted June 22, 2009 Haven't read the whole thread, but here's what I did once: When dh and I went overseas, we were planning to be there for about 5 years. We didn't have space to take my very nice high-end student-level tenor sax with us. I had a friend whose husband played sax really well and would be able to use the sax to good purpose while we were gone. (Note: I knew I could trust this couple to take good care of an instrument.) We wrote up an agreement stipulating how long the loan would be, who would be responsible for any repairs/replacement needed during or at the end of the time. We also included who would be responsible for paying shipping in order to return the sax at the end of the loan. Then we both signed and dated the document and the loan began. It was a good experience for us, even though the loan ended up lasting an extra year because we weren't in a place to receive the sax at the end of the designated period. Just an idea! Mama Anna Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
specialmama Posted June 22, 2009 Share Posted June 22, 2009 I admit my knee-jerk reaction was to say your dh should tell the kid he changed his mind. But what a gracious bunch of replies showed up, coming down on the other side of the fence. I am glad to have read this thread and to see the kind hearts - and your wonderful family's decision, Heather - that urged you to choose a different course than I would have been tempted to decide. I have a feeling that this is only the first of many "sacrifices" and challenging day-to-day decisions you will face as you embark on a new life experience in Malaysia. Remember this event as a reminder that erring on the side of grace is almost always certain to produce a better outcome than erring on the side of the law (hope you follow my logic there... am I making sense?). My husband has a theory about the opportunities we have in life to share money and possessions with others. In a nutshell, he says that it is our responsibility before God to be generous with what He has given us. The outcome - how responsible the recipient is with the gift - is not our responsibility. That person is then responsible to God for how he values the gift. When I keep that point of view in mind, it is much easier to be generous and resist any resentment that might otherwise spring up. (Wow, this paragraph is a grammar teacher's nightmare...) Don't let this bog you down, you have lots more exciting things to be thinking of! Knowledge can be attained by anyone, but wisdom comes from God. AuntieM, you are very wise :001_smile: Heather, I'm very happy for you! That was a wonderful outcome, I mean, apart from the lack of a thank-you LOL. I agree with MamaT though, don't let it create resentment... rise above that. Thank you for letting us catch a glimpse of your journey, I mean not just this episode, but your whole God-working-in-you journey. It's inspiring and real! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nakia Posted June 22, 2009 Share Posted June 22, 2009 Heather, You and your husband are some of the most awesome people in the world! God is smiling!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in Neverland Posted June 22, 2009 Author Share Posted June 22, 2009 Heather,You and your husband are some of the most awesome people in the world! God is smiling!!! You are so sweet! Hey, I know you are flat on your back right now but we are going to be in NC from June 27-July 5....hint, hint. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted June 22, 2009 Share Posted June 22, 2009 Heather, My in laws are similar.....unfortunately. It is tough. They don't know the Lord though and I try to remember that. What we have learned in our years with Crown Financial ministries at church is that when these things happen, God often blesses us with something far greater than what we let go of. Where will you be in NC? We are leaving for Chicago on July 1st. Dawn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in Neverland Posted June 22, 2009 Author Share Posted June 22, 2009 Heather, My in laws are similar.....unfortunately. It is tough. They don't know the Lord though and I try to remember that. What we have learned in our years with Crown Financial ministries at church is that when these things happen, God often blesses us with something far greater than what we let go of. Where will you be in NC? We are leaving for Chicago on July 1st. Dawn We will be in the Asheville area (sort of...between Marion and Morganton off of I-40). It's interesting...today I feel like "oh well, no big deal"...after I made such a fuss about the clubs at first. I'm kind of embarrassed now. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nakia Posted June 22, 2009 Share Posted June 22, 2009 You are so sweet! Hey, I know you are flat on your back right now but we are going to be in NC from June 27-July 5....hint, hint. I will surely be better by then!! Keep in touch with me about it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgehogs4 Posted June 22, 2009 Share Posted June 22, 2009 "it's all gonna burn" is the motto i try to live my life by when i find that i get annoyed over stuff...oh yeah, and money's just paper. of course there are deeper spiritual principles that could be applied here, such as "laying up treasures in heaven," etc, but i'm sure you know all those...think on them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted June 22, 2009 Share Posted June 22, 2009 We will be in the Asheville area (sort of...between Marion and Morganton off of I-40). It's interesting...today I feel like "oh well, no big deal"...after I made such a fuss about the clubs at first. I'm kind of embarrassed now. :tongue_smilie: I wouldn't feel embarrassed, I believe it's part of the transition. I read your blog about all of your rubbermaid containers and this is part of the letting go that you don't always read about. We create identities for ourselves with our "stuff", I'm have no doubt those golf clubs were special to your dh. Congratulations, you have made it past one more obstacle on your way to serve Him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ereks mom Posted June 22, 2009 Share Posted June 22, 2009 I fear the odds are very high that the clubs will end up lost or damaged, the sister/nephew will shrug and say "big deal," and the family relationships will be more strained than ever. :sad: :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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