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Another Negative Homeschool Article


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Parents do not take into consideration the considerable injustice of placing their children in a failing school.

 

Some of the most significant disadvantages to public schooling are the high costs to our tax payers, the inefficient use of time, some teacher's inability to instruct, lack of contact with people of all ages (lack of socialization in greater society), interpersonal skills mostly learned from peers instead of adults, communication skills, and being taken out of the real world.

 

It has been my finding that a large number of teachers are not equipped to teach the subjects necessary. Many teachers spend most of their time managing classroom behavior and teaching to the test.

 

The biggest disadvantage to public schooling is that having a "one size fits all" classroom leaves the brightest often bored and the slowest relegated to special education.

 

There is research that the bullying and impersonality of a classroom has led some students to school violence.

 

*Yes - I know that these are gross generalizations about public schooling but then so is the article.

 

:iagree::iagree:

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I've seen a lot of people judging the "fitness" of other people to home school.

 

 

 

There has been debate in homeschooling circles for many, many years about the possible need for "internal" policing. A Pollyanna, we're-all-doing-it-better-than-the-schools approach doesn't cover the fact that it is simply not true. If you've only seen successful homeschooling families, consider yourself blessed. It is heartbreaking to watch children struggling because a homeschooling mother is failing, and it is gut-wrenching to try to figure out what the right approach is. We need to help these families (and acknowledging that they exist is the first step,) while maintaining our homeschooling freedom.

 

Not everyone is willing to speak about failing homeschoolers because we think we are better than them. Some of us just care an awful lot about their children.

 

There is a large difference between the uninformed rantings of the media and the sober thoughts of homeschoolers who are aware of the situtation.

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I am disturbed at the number of homeschoolers who are dissing this man's opinion simply because he is a fitness person and not an "expert" and thus not qualified to have an opinion. We as homeschoolers are always having to argue the fact that we are not "experts" and thus not qualifed to teach our children or have an opinion on the educational needs of our children. We need to be as respectful in our judgements of the other side as we feel we deserve and not rely on ad hominem attacks.

 

Elizabeth,

I agree that in most cases there is no need to judge other families, especially on things like length of school day, curriculum used, preferred teaching methods, religious beliefs, etc. There is no one size fits all homeschooling method. There is also no need to get in a big uproar over taking a few months off in a family crisis or having a "snow day" once in a while. However, when the crisis is going on years and the snow days are more frequent than the nonsnow days or a child who has no special needs is way behind in multiple subjects simply from the fact that the family didn't get around to it this year, that often signifies that there is a problem and maybe homeschooling is not the best thing for that family at this time. One of my biggest issues with the public school is they don't police their own. A horrible teacher stays in the system year after year. The other teachers know she is terrible, the administration knows she is terrible, etc but she keeps her job year after year destroying the lives of another classroom of kids each year. We have homeschoolers have to be better than that. We need to police our own because it is the homeschoolers that are failing miserably that are held up as examples more often than those that shine. This doesn't have to be done with judgement but with love. We should be helping those that struggle with certain areas. If a family is struggling financially, we can help them out by giving them our old curriculum, taking a meal over, etc. If a family has a child with socialization issues, we can help by making time to socialize with them a bit more and being understanding of special needs, etc. We can help a disorganized mother create a schedule that is workable or organize their house. We can also gently remind them when they are letting the ball drop and not judge those that just couldn't make homeschooling work and have to go back to traditional schooling. Now of course, I am preaching to the choir here because most of the women/men on this board go above and beyond what is necessary and are here to help fellow homeschoolers. I for one feel blessed by the homeschoolers on this board as well as the wonderful supportive homeschool group that I am involved with in real life because it is a true community unlike anything I experienced in our years in the public school. That is the side of homeschooling that I wish the public could see.

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Dear Angela,

 

There is a large difference between the uninformed rantings of the media and the sober thoughts of homeschoolers who are aware of the situation.

 

I wish I was as sure of that difference as you are. I've seen a lot more casual slander and prejudice than actual home-schooling parent negligence. I've heard a lot of criticism of different parents based on differences in homeschooling style. In only two cases have I witnessed actual failure to educate.

 

One was an "Un-schooling" family. Both parents were very intelligent and high functioning adults. They put their little dears in school after it became apparent to them that things weren't working out. Given how bright those kids were, I'm sure they took off like the shooting stars they were.

 

The other was an angry mother of an autistic teen. She was outraged because her son was not being educated properly in the public school. Her protests and pleas were met with silent derision and open contempt, depending on who she went to within the public school. She pulled him out of school as a last resort. She was given every resource possible by supportive members of the home schooling community, but she failed to follow through and teach her son. At the end of the year her son returned to public school. Although this woman has a lifelong history of failure to self-regulate, her ex-husband was somewhat more competent. He placed various types of legal and economic pressure on her, until she placed the boy back in school.

 

In neither of these real cases of educational neglect was gossip or rudeness within the home schooling community helpful in resolving the problem.

 

In cases where no educational neglect exists, but home schoolers are prejudiced against other home schoolers, or simply disagree about style, I've seen a lot of bad behavior and heard slander as well. I don't see that as productive. The people who engage in this behavior take themselves very seriously. They think they're qualified to judge. Based on their atrocious misbehavior, they are perfectly willing to sentence as well. I wish they'd start behaving themselves.

 

When the woman with the autistic teenage son pulled him out of school, the home schooling community was very supportive. Well qualified experts in the home-schooling community assessed his needs and gave them curriculum at little or no cost. (There was considerable financial hardship in this family unit.) I thought that these actions were appropriate. Offering other home schooling families help always makes sense.

 

With the exception of these two cases, in each instance where I've helped out a home schooling family coping with challenges, I've been delighted to learn how competent and diligent the family proved to be. Bad mouthing them would not have been a good choice. Directing snide remarks at them at home schooling social events wouldn't have been productive either. I think the home schooling community would be better off behaving in a supportive manner, rather than trying to regulate one another.

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Elizabeth,

 

I'm sorry that you are bringing a lot of negative local experiences to this conversation. I have seen no one here in this conversation slander another family or disagree about homeschooling styles. We are just admitting that not all homeschoolers are doing a great job, which is the usual defense when an article like this appears.

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Dear Angela,

 

Thanks for apologizing for me. If you're going to speak for me, there's no need for me to contribute further. You can just continue to carry on my part of the conversation.

 

Apparently you'll be happier that way, so I'll simply recuse myself. Have an nice conversation without me. I wouldn't dream of imposing further.

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(Ignoring whatever else is going on in this thread...)

 

 

There is a large difference between the uninformed rantings of the media and the sober thoughts of homeschoolers who are aware of the situtation.

 

For sure. But, c'mon. That is a conversation that has/should/will take place.

 

But this article? Its just...terrible. I honestly think spending any time in intelligent conversation over it is time totally wasted.

 

My favorite line is "...There is research that states that the self-esteem and confidence of children who have been home schooled is sometimes lower than those in public school."

 

That is simply classic.

 

What is "sometimes", exactly?

 

Children "sometimes" grow up to be homicidal maniacs, circus performers, rocket scientists and Senators. They "sometimes" do all kinds of things. "Sometimes" does not usually denote scholarly research, IMO.

 

My opinion (not that anyone cares) is that making fun of those with opinions we don't like is usually bad. But in this particular case, with this particular article, well....gosh, it's just too easy. I mean, this is a really bad article.

 

And since I just can't resist: I'll bet he got his mad logic skillz in public school.:lol:

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Dear Angela,

 

Thanks for apologizing for me. If you're going to speak for me, there's no need for me to contribute further. You can just continue to carry on my part of the conversation.

 

Apparently you'll be happier that way, so I'll simply recuse myself. Have an nice conversation without me. I wouldn't dream of imposing further.

 

I think you misunderstand. I am truly sorry that you have had these experiences with parents locally. It sounds like a rough situation, and I can understand why you are upset about them. I am simply asking that you respond based on what has actually been said in this conversation by ladies on this board and not infer based on other homeschoolers you know personally. You can take that or leave it, obviously. :)

 

I will bow out now, but I did want to apologize, as I wrote a comment that could indeed be taken two ways.

Edited by angela in ohio
extra comma
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Not everyone is willing to speak about failing homeschoolers because we think we are better than them. Some of us just care an awful lot about their children..

 

I am not concerned b/c it is the parents choice. And... we do not have a CLUE why they are failing. The problems are numerous. We only observe from the outside. It is the families decision. PLUS... there are too many approaches to homeschool & I am not about to worry over all of them & try to help decide if they are right or wrong.

 

Another issue... they would be failing in the Public schools too. Parents who do not suppor their children will not support them in homework and other needs in classroom schools. The students burden the teachers & often distract the other students.

 

We have laws already in place for truly negligent families. It is up to those agencies to handle such things. I assure you... if the parents are neglecting homeschooling... they are neglecting many other things as well.

 

You start POLICING homeschooling & it will also be a big, fat messy beauracracy. Laws are in place for neglect.... we don't need more busy body moms looking over our shoulder.

 

I have a friend who has a 9 year old who can't read. Should she be policed? She doesn't use my plan of study... does that make her negligent? NO! But from the outside looking in... perhaps I would assume I know more than she.

 

Don't go throwing rocks in GLASS HOUSES!

Edited by Dirtroad
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There have been so many of these articles hitting the press lately, that my conspiracy-minded self is starting to wonder if it isn't a coordinated effort by some group.

 

 

a

 

Or if newspapers and other sources have just figured out that a negative article about homeschooling will drastically increase the traffic to their site.

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You start POLICING homeschooling & it will also be a big, fat messy beauracracy. Laws are in place for neglect.... we don't need more busy body moms looking over our shoulder.

 

 

When I say we need to police our own. I don't mean we need to stick our nose in and be judgemental. I don't mean we need more laws and regulations. I don't mean we need to be calling CPS because someone's child doesn't know Latin and we feel Latin is important.

 

I mean overall we need to help each other. If a homeschooling buddy struggles with one area, we step in and offer help (not force it) or gently and lovingly prod.

 

There is a fine line between different educational philosophies and outright neglect. I am all for every parent deciding what is important enough to pursue and what is not. On the other hand, I don't want my homeschooling rights taken away or legislated into having to jump a gazillion hoops because of those that use homeschooling as an excuse to unparent and neglect their kids.

 

However, where is the line? A child that can't read at 9? That would depend on several factors. What do you mean by can't read? Can't read at grade level? Can't read chapter books? Doesn't even know ABC's? Is the child thriving in other areas? Does child have special needs? Are parents pursuing the waldorf method of better late than early? Is it the parent actually trying? Are they unschoolers and waiting for child to have interest? If so, what would they do when child is 12 and can't read? 15? 17?

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Agree completely.

 

We have good schools and we have bad ones. There are homeschooling families doing a thorough job, and there are some that are prob doing more damage than good to their kids. There are kids who probably would benefit greatly from a homeschool environment. And there are kids who, because of their home environment (millions of situations come to mind), are prob better off in the PS system.

 

I did fine in public school growing up and made very good grades. I went on to college and had a high GPA in Computer Sci and a minor in History.

 

However, when I compare my education with my husband's, I'd say his school prob did a much more thorough job than mine did (elementary/HS). He simply knows more vocabulary and math, etc, and is much more "well-rounded" than I am, by far. (We went to the same college.)

 

He had a real advantage going into college. I had to work harder in college.

 

My point is, there are HUGE differences between the schools out there. You can't lump all PSs in the same pile and say they're all alike.

 

You can't lump all homeschooling families together, either.

 

So, most of these types of articles are so myopic that they're simply valueless, IMHO. That's why I usually don't read them and have no interest in reading them.

 

Kim

 

In the past few weeks I've read posts on this board that link to articles which are hostile to homeschooling. All the articles linked have a reactionary tone and clearly do not demonstrate the author's ability to substantiate his or her argument with verifiable fact, rather the writers rely on anecdotal evidence for support. It seems these writers feel threatened by the power of parents to choose. It is so much easier to sling mud than to unearth facts. While it maybe true some home school students would benefit from a public school education, the same could be said that many public school student would benefit from home schooling. What is left unsaid is why parents~ rich, poor, of all ethnic and religious backgrounds are rejecting American public education. If American public education worked, then people might not feel the need to home school or send their children to private school.
Edited by titianmom
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When I say we need to police our own. I don't mean we need to stick our nose in and be judgemental. I don't mean we need more laws and regulations. I don't mean we need to be calling CPS because someone's child doesn't know Latin and we feel Latin is important.

 

That gentle hand of support did not seem to be the message that several have posted. It seems to be about protecting ourselves in the homeschooling community from these bad homeschoolers. They are giving us a bad name or will bring us down.... protectionism seemed to prevail as I read many comments.

 

Regardless of the fact that there are people dropping the ball... what can you do? Most of these folks don't mingle & don't want input. It makes the other Moms seem nosey & arrogant. The children will be lost in school also..... because the parents are not doing their job. The school wants $$ and isnt' likely to do anything either.

 

It takes all I can do to handle my own homeschooling issues. I can't imagine trying to guide & advise & help another mom who obviously isn't trying to hard already. It would be overwhelming.

 

We can't do it. We can be a community & lead by example... but that is as far as it can go.

 

As for my friend, she has legitimate reasons & he has issues... but I know that from my relationship. I can't help her. She has to pursue other resources. My POINT was that if you are on the outside looking in... you have no clue & you can't approach her with "advice & warm hearted guidance".

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I mean overall we need to help each other. If a homeschooling buddy struggles with one area, we step in and offer help (not force it) or gently and lovingly prod.

 

 

I concur.

 

I don't want my homeschooling rights taken away or legislated into having to jump a gazillion hoops because of those that use homeschooling as an excuse to unparent and neglect their kids.

 

 

The people who fall into this category are in the minority. Laws currently in place police these issues. HSLDA does an excellent job of protecting us from knee jerk reactions by legislators attempting to respond to the problems posed by this minority. I think we should support HSLDA and similar lobby groups.

 

However, where is the line? A child that can't read at 9? That would depend on several factors. What do you mean by can't read? Can't read at grade level? Can't read chapter books? Doesn't even know ABC's? Is the child thriving in other areas? Does child have special needs? Are parents pursuing the waldorf method of better late than early? Is it the parent actually trying? Are they unschoolers and waiting for child to have interest? If so, what would they do when child is 12 and can't read? 15? 17?

 

You and I are not entitled to the answers to those questions. If we show a legitimate desire to help, and win the parents' trust, perhaps we'll become privy to those answers. If we do, we should treat the information as privileged.

 

When we slander one another, act as if we're entitled to judge one another, and marginalize home schoolers whom we don't understand, we force anxious home schoolers to live in isolation from the rest of the home school community. That creates more problems than it solves.

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