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...for my teen dd. I don't allow spaghetti strap, halter top or tube top shirts. She doesn't like wearing a shirt under a shirt because we live in a very hot coastal area. We went into a store yesterday to buy her some flip flops and I could see the longing in her eyes for the cute clothes.

 

WHY CAN'T THEY MAKE CUTE CLOTHES THAT ARE MODEST!!!!!!!!!!!

 

I know my dd is not the only teen girl out there that feels this way. I feel this way. She was almost in tears when we went shopping for an Easter dress. NOTHING she liked was descent for church. She finally told me to just pick a dress. She was embarrassed at the store we bought the dress from (Steinmart). She said it was a store for my age (her mom) women, not teens. But all the teen store's clothes were inappropriate.

 

She has since started wearing tee shirts all the time. The unisex kind that you get at an event. It doesn't look very feminine and I know she want to look better! We are on a budget, so what I do buy has to be on the lower end of pricing.

 

I just don't know how to help her.

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I know what you mean. My girls are only 12 and 13 but developing which limits what is acceptable. I don't like bra straps showing and have the other rules like you have about tight stuff, etc.

 

You might try checking some thrift stores/upscale resale shops in your area. They might have some really cute stuff that is cheaper.

 

We have horses and other animals so my girls are fine in jeans and your basic t-shirts most of the time as they get really dirty helping with chores, etc.

 

It is hard though to find cute tops for them that cover the bra straps, cover the belly, aren't skin tight, etc. I often end up going up 1-2 sizes to get a better fit for them but that doesn't work for all styles.

 

I was looking at sale ads the other day and noticed the guys shorts were almost to the knee while the girls had almost NO inseam at all. Short are another rant of mine---they must have an inseam that is decent when they sit down, they must not be skin tights, have to come up high enough to avoid the crack look, etc.

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:iagree:

 

I know what you mean. My daughters are only 9 and I'm already having this problem. It's really hard to find clothes that are decent. All of the shorts and skirts are too short, and the shirts are all tight. I can't imagine how bad it's going to be when mine are teens. I guess I'm going to have to learn to sew!

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Tight!!!! I forgot to mention tight! My dd has to buy size large to make shirts look descent. Then the shirt is too low in the front because we have gone up in size so it isn't tight. She is short which makes the shirt even lower in the front. It really is a battle.

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I feel for you! Yesterday, our just turned 14 year old came back from her mom's (we have her 1/2 time). I couldn't even wait to tell her not to wear her shirt at our house. EVER! It was showing the top half of her little developing body. Wow...she's getting curves...and such! Her dad noticed too, and she said...this is all I have..... He told her that she could wear a big t-shirt if that's the case!

I'm ok with shirts that show some curves...but not the ones where you imagine it only on say..a Prom dress.... I told her...I could imagine being ok with what showed in a formal. I mean, if you look at some of the dresses for dances...a long time ago.... "Br**sts" were shown.... but not on my 14 year olds every day wear.

AND, she's skinny, and so her shorts seems like they are saving on material...I mean...They aren't quite Daisy Duke's ...but they aren't what I'd call modest.

Old Navy...gotta love it! (or hate it!!!!) Anyway, what happened to having shorts that aren't short shorts...and aren't ankle length....???

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What about shopping online? You can google for "modest clothing".

 

Some sites that I know are popular, and are promoted as modest:

http://www.shadeclothing.com/

http://www.modbeclothing.com/

http://www.diviinemodestee.com/?gclid=CNjtyMvm_ZoCFR0Sagod-CTleA

http://www.layersclothing.com/?gclid=CIq45dPm_ZoCFRlcagodRB0Meg

 

 

Also, Etsy is a great site for find fun clothes - especially skirts!

http://www.etsy.com/

 

I also find Boden, a British company to be more modest:

http://www.bodenusa.com/en-US/Default.aspx

 

And finally Hanna Andersson makes great women's clothes which may appeal to a teen:

http://www.hannaandersson.com/home.asp

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Has she tried a tank top under a shirt? I get the ones from Walmart or Old Navy and they are thin, too thin to wear alone, but are great for layering. We're in a hot humid climate as well.

 

If that is too much there are some cute sports bras that could be worn under a low cut shirt. Something like this with a higher cut in the front.

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Guest Katia

I just bought my teen dds some really cute tops at Kohl's. Some were peasant style with short, puffy sleeves and a drawstring neckline (which is nice because you can draw it up to suit!), and some were just shirts and shaped Tees...but none were short or low-cut. As a matter of fact, my dd skipped some of the tees because they were so long they covered her bottom....and she likes them at her mid-hip.

 

Honestly, lately I haven't had any problem finding cute tops that are modest. Even Wal-Mart has had really nice styles.

 

Both of my dds have skipped the shorts this year (too low on the hips and too short on the legs) and have gone to cute skirts instead. They said they are cooler than the shorts, and with elastic tops and ruffles (not too long, but just below the knees) very comfy....and they look terrific with the cute tops! I found these at Kohl's, too.

 

Oh, and capri's are still out there. We also do these instead of shorts.

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Tight!!!! I forgot to mention tight! My dd has to buy size large to make shirts look descent. Then the shirt is too low in the front because we have gone up in size so it isn't tight. She is short which makes the shirt even lower in the front. It really is a battle.

 

Now I understand. I hope you can find something that works for both of you.. My baby girl is only 3.5 and I think she leans more towards being "sporty" as her daddy puts it and will start off in her cute pretty clothes I love and that she helped me pick out but by the end of the day she is in denim shorts and t-shirt.....sigh..... my only baby girl but maybe it's not such a bad thing if she choose to be more sporty than trendy then it won't be a battle on the modesty front as much.

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Target has some cute juniors tops that aren't spaghetti straps, tube tops or halter tops:

 

http://www.target.com/Lic-Gypsy-Girl-Graphic-Tee/dp/B0020EZPI6/qid=1244571047/ref=br_1_5/192-9015248-5440336?ie=UTF8&node=400560011&frombrowse=1&pricerange=&index=tgt-mf-mv&field-browse=400560011&rank=-product%5Fsite%5Flaunch%5Fdate&rh=&page=3

 

http://www.target.com/Tracy-Feith-Target-Hibiscus-Print/dp/B002513U86/qid=1244571047/ref=br_1_6/192-9015248-5440336?ie=UTF8&node=400560011&frombrowse=1&pricerange=&index=tgt-mf-mv&field-browse=400560011&rank=-product%5Fsite%5Flaunch%5Fdate&rh=&page=3

 

http://www.target.com/Juniors-Mossimo-Supply-Co-Flutter/dp/B001OLY2UI/qid=1244571198/ref=br_1_11/192-9015248-5440336?ie=UTF8&node=400560011&frombrowse=1&pricerange=&index=tgt-mf-mv&field-browse=400560011&rank=-product%5Fsite%5Flaunch%5Fdate&rh=&page=9

 

http://www.target.com/Jrs-MS-Scp-Drawstring-Cupcake-Grn/dp/B001KGN3UM/qid=1244571322/ref=br_1_15/192-9015248-5440336?ie=UTF8&node=400560011&frombrowse=1&pricerange=&index=tgt-mf-mv&field-browse=400560011&rank=-product%5Fsite%5Flaunch%5Fdate&rh=&page=15

 

Tee shirts also seem to be "in" and they don't have to be boyish:

 

http://www.target.com/Mossimo-Tee-Sporty-Blue/dp/B001QV8IQ0/qid=1244571322/ref=br_1_7/192-9015248-5440336?ie=UTF8&node=400560011&frombrowse=1&pricerange=&index=tgt-mf-mv&field-browse=400560011&rank=-product%5Fsite%5Flaunch%5Fdate&rh=&page=15

I looked at the tops and the ones she would like would be too low. Not because the shirt is too low its self, but because she is short and a little heavy, which would cause her to have to buy a large so it wouldn't be tight, then the front would be way too low and would show cleavage!!! Her problem is not just the clothing styles, but also her proportions. She really needs to wear petite tops, but teen clothing doesn't come in "petite".

 

Misses petite clothing fit her very well, but don't come in the styles she likes. She doesn't want to look and dress like ME! I understand that.

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The discussion might morph into culture wars. Hope it won't do that.

 

We have managed so far because dd (10 yrs) has dressed modestly from birth.

 

The "dangling bosom" clothing phenomenon affects adult women as much as it does children. Both dd and I have a rough time buying clothes.

 

DD is perfectly happy wearing a colour-coordinated t-shirt underneath a sleeveless top or dress. She also routinely wears a shirt under low-cut dresses. Sleeveless, high crew-neck tees are useful for this purpose.

 

Happily, bermuda shorts are available, which are long enough AND stylish.

 

Already dd wears size 14/16 dresses, to have them long enough. After this year, we'll be forced into buying more expensive, online-ordered garments. (Currently we get by from Target and Walmart.)

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I feel your pain. :grouphug: My 15 yo dd struggles to find cute clothing that meets our standards. We don't do sleeveless either. Skirts and shorts must be to the knee. I know you said she doesn't like the shirt over a shirt thing but we have found that layering is the only way to go. Camis under too low cut shirts, tanks under too short shirts and thin layering t-shirts under spaghetti straps & halter tops. We have even added modesty slips under too short skirts. A modesty slip is a slip that is designed to show a couple of inches below the skirt. As for the skin tight issue we have found some very cute things with empire waists or flowing bohemian styles that look fun and "hip" (did I just say "hip?") My dd has had some of the girls at church who used to dress in what we call "hootchie" style start to copy her look. She has even had one of the seniors thank her for wearing modest clothes because it makes it possible for him to sit next to her during Sunday School or ask her to dance at a party and not have to look at his feet the entire time to avoid seeing something he shouldn't. What a nice boy, huh? It takes some looking but it is possible to find & combine things to get a youthful and modest look.

 

Amber in SJ

 

Don't even get me started on the current trend of halter tops and dresses that have padded chests. :glare:

We had to add "No tops with boobs of thier own." to our other phrases of "tights are not pants." and "leggings do not make an immodest skirt modest." but that is just us, and we know we are weird. :tongue_smilie:

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...for my teen dd. I don't allow spaghetti strap, halter top or tube top shirts. She doesn't like wearing a shirt under a shirt because we live in a very hot coastal area. We went into a store yesterday to buy her some flip flops and I could see the longing in her eyes for the cute clothes.

 

WHY CAN'T THEY MAKE CUTE CLOTHES THAT ARE MODEST!!!!!!!!!!!

 

I know my dd is not the only teen girl out there that feels this way. I feel this way. She was almost in tears when we went shopping for an Easter dress. NOTHING she liked was descent for church. She finally told me to just pick a dress. She was embarrassed at the store we bought the dress from (Steinmart). She said it was a store for my age (her mom) women, not teens. But all the teen store's clothes were inappropriate.

 

She has since started wearing tee shirts all the time. The unisex kind that you get at an event. It doesn't look very feminine and I know she want to look better! We are on a budget, so what I do buy has to be on the lower end of pricing.

 

I just don't know how to help her.

 

A few thoughts. How adament are you about halters and spaghetti straps? Is it because cleav*** shows, they look like they're about to fall off or because you don't want any shoulder showing? If it's the first 2, there are ways around the problem.

 

First, how well endowed is she? If she's modestly endowed like I was, *some* of these tops can be modest on your dd. My favorite halter as a teen came up higher on my neck than my t-shirts. There are bras that will support and cover under spagehtti straps or halters. Then there's always Ann Landers suggestion of bandaids to avoid showing parts of the chest. A gauzy shirt worn over some of these tops is also fashionable and modest. OTOH, if she's built like my sister, she could wear a sack with a hole cut out for her head and not be modestly dressed.

 

The second thought is that your dd could buy plain t-shirts and decorate them to make them more feminine. She could add lace, applica, paint flowers, add buttons or do other things to personalize them. Michaels has a lot of things to help the novice clothing decorator.

 

Can your dd learn to sew? If she can, she can adapt some of the popular styles so that they are more modest and look good on her. Spaghetti strap tops can be cut higher so no cleav*** shows and have a built-in bra. (or get strapless bras.) Halter tops can have high necklines and cover a fair amount of the back. Here a halter bra might be needed. She might even be able to design a tube top that is relatively modest, but I haven't seen one yet.

 

A final thought. Low cost clothing has ALWAYS skimped on fabric. Some say it's to be fashionable, but more expensive clothing has always been more generously cut for the same style. Try a thrift shop to see if you can find more generously cut clothing.

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I looked at the tops and the ones she would like would be too low. Not because the shirt is too low its self, but because she is short and a little heavy, which would cause her to have to buy a large so it wouldn't be tight, then the front would be way too low and would show cleavage!!!

 

Could you buy the shirts then modify then by perhaps sewing in a piece of cloth to act as a false cami?

 

Another though might be yoga or exercise wear. There are new materials that cover well but let the body breath. They're tight but might give her a base to wear some looser but otherwise immodest clothing over.

 

It might help to take her shopping at a second hand store and take stuff home for some creative reworking. It would give her a chance to learn (or polish) sewing skills and let her get creative.

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Simplicity.

 

Get her a machine, some patterns, lots of support and let her design her own clothes.

 

Had to do that with dd. I'm not horribly concerned a lot of clothes, but she is, now she modifies or just throws her own stuff together.

 

Impower her, by teaching her how to do it herself.

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Simplicity.

 

Get her a machine, some patterns, lots of support and let her design her own clothes.

 

Had to do that with dd. I'm not horribly concerned a lot of clothes, but she is, now she modifies or just throws her own stuff together.

 

Impower her, by teaching her how to do it herself.

Where did you find material? I can't seem to find anything but material made for quilting! I have an awesome machine, but have been so discouraged by fabric choices that I quit! Off the rack clothes are made of fabrics that are much more "wash and wear" than fabric I have found in stores. The only place near me that sells material is Walmart.

 

Any good on-line fabric stores?

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Not sure about the juniors, but I noticed that Target had a fair number of bermuda-shorts styles for girls (size 6-14 or so) this year.

 

DD got the polo in girls' sizes, but they have them in juniors too- it's cut a bit on the slim side, but if you go up a size, you could just button an extra button.

 

I know what you mean about the scoop-neck tops- I'm pretty conservative about the clothes I buy, but I've still wound up with some tops that show more than I meant for them to.

Edited by kah
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Where did you find material? I can't seem to find anything but material made for quilting! I have an awesome machine, but have been so discouraged by fabric choices that I quit! Off the rack clothes are made of fabrics that are much more "wash and wear" than fabric I have found in stores. The only place near me that sells material is Walmart.

 

Any good on-line fabric stores?

Walmart, Joan's Fabrics, Micheals, really, most craft stores have TONS of really nice fabric. Also, we go to the Goodwill and get really large cloths that have colors or patterns dd likes and chop them to pieces. Also, if you Ebay, you can find tons of fabric there too.

 

Again, craft stores do better for fabric than Walmart, but in a pinch.... Walmarts are everywhere, lol.

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Not sure about the juniors, but I noticed that Target had a fair number of bermuda-shorts styles for girls (size 6-14 or so) this year.

Actually, we are ok on the bottoms. She mainly wears capri's or jeans. I don't think she likes how shorts feel. But, thanks! Oh, she has outgrown all children's size clothing. She is, um.... curvy?

Edited by Tabrett
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A lot of shirts are cut low right now anyway. Our solution was just to buy a lot of cute camisoles to wear underneath. The layered look is in. My dd can wear a lot more stylish clothes now and look modest. She's much happier.

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Try fabric.com for fabrics.

 

Also look at Burda patterns. They are FAR more trendy than most.

 

ETA: Lands' End goes up to size 20 for teens. I don't know how the girls sizing is, but it's all I buy for my 15 yo ds (who wears a 20 slim--and won't wear jeans or sweats). Too bad their teen catalog never took off...

Edited by darlasowders
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Hancock Fabrics

Hobby Lobby

JoAnne Fabrics

 

All these have fabric for garments, as well as quilts.

I live near none of these stores. If only I did....sigh:glare:

I even have to go the the farther away Walmart to buy cloth. The closer one stopped selling cloth about a year ago!

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I'm a very tall woman and find it hard to find clothes that even fit, let alone are something I want to wear. I find sewing immensely satisfying!! Picking out a pattern, the fabric, putting it all together with my own creative twists, it's so much fun! You can go to Goodwill and find a fun funky shirt, say XXL, and tailor it to fit (not skin tight mind you! But feminine and structured), add embellishments, and viola! You've got something special and unique! The options for skirts are simple and endless if you know how to sew.

 

I'd really recommend sewing. It's a very worthwhile hobby.

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I feel for you - our dd 18 is long legged and long bodied. Her problem is everything is always to short and lets her belly show which is not allowed - also I never have allowed speg. straps. Unless she is using them under a shirt to prevent a too low V or to short length. Which I would say she only owns 1. The rest are sleeveless undershirts that are thin and long which she wears underneath shirts. (we have even bought the boys/sm men’s white 3 pkg to use better $) Also I have bought shirts and sewn in a piece to cover the low V or sowed up the V. And shorts forget it unless she will wear sports shorts. My dd wore boys sport shorts b/c they were longer. And we also went to skorts and skirts. Right now she is having a problem getting jeans they are all cut so low in the waist. Which are crude when you bend over -yuck. We spend a lot of time at the store trying on clothes and only buying a few. She may take in 20 shirts and come out with only 2 that fit properly. Good luck :) It is a shame this day and age you just have to be very creative.

Lisa

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If things are cut too low due to her body shape, have you considered an alteration shop. They can add material at the bust that look like "a layer" or shirt underneath.... but it can be just a strip of fabric appropriately added.

 

Might be an alternative. I would get advice from the alteration shop first & then know exactly how to proceed.

 

I have found cute stuff for DD on Ebay before... but she is younger. WE do allow sun dresses with spaghetti straps, but she has to wear a light weight white jacket or summer sweater over the shoulders.

 

I dread her hitting 14!

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I also live beyond easy reach of shopping but do travel every month or two with dh. Unfortunately shopping for appropriate but "stylin" clothing takes time. "Curvy" girls shouldn't bother with juniors. When you are out of town try to spend time trying on clothing. We do well at TJ Max , Marshalls, and the Gap outlet. We finally found a dress for her to wear to a wedding that didn't have spaghetti straps but fit her cuteness criteria. :) Sometimes I splurge for something that fits well. It's hard and often nothing is right. Be brave. We can do this. :tongue_smilie:

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I was in Walmart with my oldest dd a few weeks ago and she was upset because I wouldn't let her get a tank top that was cut wide and low. (I do let her wear normal tank tops.) However, we found some cute t-shirts that are cut to be feminine rather than straight up and down, so she bought a couple of those and likes them. Sometimes we have to weed through a lot of junk, but I've never been unable to find modest clothes. I remember one summer Target had nothing but short shorts, but we found long ones elsewhere.

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Also, I'd like my daughter to wear basically "body tanks" if they had them. Like a leotard, with snaps below. It'd take care of "Plumber's Butt" that so many teens have. And the funny thing is...it's sooooo unattractive!

Carrie:-)

 

 

I was in auditorium seating last night, and a darling young girl was in front of me, chatting with what looked to be her grandmother or other elderly friend. She was so adorable. She had to stand up at one point and her jeans were down so far, I though her bum was going to pop out. I looked away, and I have two daughters! I simply don't understand this fashion. She looked embarassed and pulled them up quickly.

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Guest Katia
Also, I'd like my daughter to wear basically "body tanks" if they had them. Like a leotard, with snaps below. It'd take care of "Plumber's Butt" that so many teens have. And the funny thing is...it's sooooo unattractive!

Carrie:-)

 

They have several styles of these at Chadwicks....some are tanks, some are short sleeve and some are long sleeve (dressy or turtlenecks). My dd LOVES them!

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Guest Katia
I was in Walmart with my oldest dd a few weeks ago and she was upset because I wouldn't let her get a tank top that was cut wide and low. (I do let her wear normal tank tops.) However, we found some cute t-shirts that are cut to be feminine rather than straight up and down, so she bought a couple of those and likes them. Sometimes we have to weed through a lot of junk, but I've never been unable to find modest clothes. I remember one summer Target had nothing but short shorts, but we found long ones elsewhere.

 

:iagree: Yes, you do have to wade through a ton of junk, but there is usually always something nice that you can find.

 

My just-turned 17yo dd found some adorable polo Tees at Wal-Mart that have a button-up front placket (which she buttons up all the way) and they were fitted, not tight but not boxy, and had adorable puffed sleeves! It added a very feminine touch which she loved! And having a rather large chest herself, she appreciated finding that they came up to a size 20 and in a large range of colors....and the price didn't break our budget....so we bought her all the colors they had!

 

After years and years of finding next to nothing in the stores I would put on my dds, I am finding it rather refreshing that there are now some cute choices out there. Keep digging. They *are* there!

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I completely understand this problem. My oldest daughters are 11 & 13. They want to dress in nice, cute clothes, but it's almost impossible to find! We live in a small town with very limited shopping. It seems like when the girls find something they like, it's wither to tight, low cut, short or something else. I am very thankful that my girls choose not to wear these types of things on their own, but it's very frustrating not being able to find more that a t shirt and mabye jeans that are modest.

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I had to laugh at this one! That was me as a teen! It was so unfair that other girls could wear the exact same dress and I would get nasty comments.

My dd is having this problem now (I did too). We both developed WAY early and were not in the least interested in behaving like the adults we appeared to be.

 

Thankfully, dd layers. She ends up looking pretty chunky, but she said she'd rather be fat than... well... you know...

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Gap, Eddie Bauer, J. Crew, etc... While they have a lot of halter and spaghetti strap tops, they also have regular t-shirt type tops, and some really cute shirts. JCPennies has a brand called A.N.A that is more trendy, and they had some nice shirts as well. We've also found some nice things at Kohls.

 

Sometimes you just have to look a little harder, but I've still been able to find decent clothes for my girls. Often the halter tops are the first thing you see, but often there are other options if you keep looking.

 

There has been one trend that I like, the shirts are not short anymore, but longer so your middle doesn't hang out. :001_smile:

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My dd is 13 and really has a skill for being modest and putting stuff together. We really don't run against too many problems. We do buy the spaghetti straps but put them over the smaller Ts or over wide-strapped tank tops. There are lots of little vests and things right now that are very cute. She puts those with cute shirts and plaid shorts or her denim shorts. We allow shorts that are mid-leg or longer. Dd does lots with jewelry, shoes, and handbags...LOTS!! We go to Rue 21 and Sam Moon for most of it. Charming Charlies is good too. I'm amazed at how put together and cool my dd can look when she is wearing a cute head band and jewelry that go well together with her outfit, and she stays in our rules for modesty. We are on a budget, so this is really inexpensive but cute stuff. Rue 21, particularly has so much inexpensive jewelry.

 

I have laid quite a bit out as far as ground rules on won't be allowed. Spaghetti straps, tube tops, clingy shirts (we do buy those, just in a much larger size), short shorts, bikinis, mini-skirts. After laying that out for dd, I made it a goal to take extra steps to let her have fun within those bounds, and she does and does well with it. She has learned that she can dress cool/hip and still be modest. She gets comments from other girls about how fashionable she is. I'm just saying that it can be done. Do you know any teens that dress cute while still dressing appropriately that could go shopping with you both? That might help. Also, don't pay as much attention to what you CAN'T purchase as to all of the choices that you can purchase, if you kwim.

Edited by Texas T
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