Locking up computers/videogames for the night?

[Faithr]

Okay, here's the situation. Oldest dd is going off to college in the fall. My almost 17yo son has been sharing his bedroom with my almost 8 yo dd since she moved out of our bed at about 18 months. It is time they each get their own room. So my almost 8 yo dd is moving into 18 yo dd's room. My 17 yo wants to move downstairs to the guestroom in the basement. He has made this his room practically anyway, because that is where he practices his electric guitar, mandolin, etc. So it is de facto already his room, except he doesn't sleep there. So we are planning to move almost 8 yo into another room and 17 yo into another room and make the now empty bedroom the guestroom. My two other boys (14 and 10) like sharing a room so they don't want to move in there. We like having a guest bedroom because sometimes granddad or uncle Steve come and stay the night or we have other visitors etc. The guestroom gets used more than several times a year. This will be 18 dd's rooms when she comes home on break and during the summers.

 

The problem with the 17 yo being down in the basement at night is that he will not go to bed! He is a typical teen age boy who wants to stay up until 2 a.m. and then sleep until noon. My plan is to decrease access to distracting things that might keep him awake. I want to be able to lock up the videogame/tv and the computer down there. I also plan to take his guitar away from him at 11:00 p.m. He can have his record player and iphone. He doesn't really use his cellphone the way my oldest dd does. He doesn't text much at all or anything. If that changes we'll deal with it.

 

Sorry this is long!!!! So how can I lock the videogames/tv/computer? There must be a way to do this, right?

 

Thanks.

[lionfamily1999]

Look at Impish's post first. This is only a recommendation for AFTER you've followed Imp's advice.

 

 

If you could get them all on one breaker, you could shut it off at the box. Otherwise............. Moving them to a common area, where you would notice them coming on, is the only thing I can think of :)

Edited June 8, 2009 by lionfamily1999

[MIch elle]

Have 17 yo give up his room when you have guests.

[Impish]

Has he had issues with breaking trust before? The reason I ask is it seems a bit of a strong move to lock things up on the assumption that he will break your trust and use these things after he's been asked not to.

 

If you haven't had issues with trust with him before, I'd sit down and talk with him...explain that if he does break trust and is on the video games or guitar til early am, you will lock them up and remove the guitar...until then, I'd trust him.

[lionfamily1999]

Has he had issues with breaking trust before? The reason I ask is it seems a bit of a strong move to lock things up on the assumption that he will break your trust and use these things after he's been asked not to.

 

If you haven't had issues with trust with him before, I'd sit down and talk with him...explain that if he does break trust and is on the video games or guitar til early am, you will lock them up and remove the guitar...until then, I'd trust him.

 

Feel like a block head. Impish is SO right, if you have no reason to not trust him (other than he's a teen, and you can't use that one, no matter how much you want to), then trust him.

[Remudamom]

I can't get past having your youngest dd share a room with her brother instead of her sister.

[Delighted3]

and keep the whole family together upstairs for a variety of reasons. Safety issues for one. Also, your guests probably like the relative privacy of the basement guest room. I also think that in the teen years, it is good to try to keep our teens as a part of the family and not let them separate themselves and even the most trustworthy teens can slide into bad behaviors and habits if the opportunities are there. He will still have his own room if he stays where he is and his sister moves to another room, so that way he can have his own space when he needs it.

JMO

Joy

[Faithr]

Thanks all for your responses. Alas, I do have reason to distrust him. There have been several occasions where I've gone to bed early and my dh has been out of town. I've asked him to go to bed at 11 only to wake up at 1 or 2 a.m. to find him still playing videogames or playing away on his guitar! Now he does have a tendency to get superinvolved in things and forget things like eating and sleeping. My dh is like this too. And I don't think he'd do anything immoral. He's not like that. But he's foollish in that he likes staying up and then sleeping when it isn't practical.

 

The story behind my son having to share the room instead of my daughter . . . we moved into a larger house from a smaller one. My oldest dd was 10 at the time and had been sharing her bedroom with her younger brother. I was pregnant with no. 5. We told the two oldest they could have their own rooms for a year or so until the baby got old enough to move out of our room. So when that time came at about 18 months, we put their names in a hat and we picked and my son got to share the room with the baby. We decided maybe we'd change things around in a year; just see how things went or so they could take turns, if one felt put upon. However, it worked out really well that the baby was in with my oldest son. This particular child hardly ever hangs out in his room. He just sleeps there. So it was great for having the baby take naps! My kids usually napped through 4 years old. He liked sharing a room with her. Didn't bother him at all. So it just continued on. But now the age difference really has become a pain and so changing rooms is probably a good idea. So that's how that happened.

 

Today I talked to him and told him that if he really wants the basement room, he has to go to bed at 11:00. I don't mind him listening to music and reading in bed past that, but if I come down and find him doing something else, he's back up to his old room.

 

We'll see. Thanks for letting me think this out!

[AuntieM]

We use BeSafe online as a web filter. It has a feature that allowed us to set our son's laptop to not allow him internet access after 10 pm. He is a good kid but could easily get into reading sports web sites and stay up all night.

 

He does not have a cell phone or tv in the room, but does have his radio and non-web computer access anytime. We just try to encourage good judgement, while at the same time realizing that teens often have different sleep schedules/needs. FWIW, no one here will get their own room in the basement until they graduate and that is their "home for the weekend" bedroom. I just don't want them that far away.

[Renee in NC]

At 17, could you let him regulate himself? Pretty soon he will be getting a job and/or going away to college and he'll be able to do whatever he wants.

 

I would set a wake-up time and tell him that he has to get up at that time. After one or two nights of little sleep, he'll probably learn to self-regulate. I would think it would be better to learn that now rather than later.

[Melissa in Australia]

my brother ( who is an electrician) rewired his house so he could turn electricity off in certain bedrooms. he turned electricity off in his step sons room after a certain time.

My oldest son sleeps in the outside laundry. it sort of 2 room detatched from the house. it is also the guest room. when we have guests, he sleeps in the house. the computer is in the living room. and I am the one on it late at night.:D:lol:

[Faithr]

Thanks for the Besafe online web filter tip. I'll look into that.

 

My 17 yo (actually in 20 days!) wants to self-regulate. He keeps telling me he is going to set his alarm and get up but he really doesn't have very good judgment yet. He'll set his alarm for some unnecessarily early time and then sleep through it. I guess you have to know him, but sometimes common sense is not his stronghold! He's a creative, absent-minded, 'artist' kind of soul. Practicality doesn't come to him easily. But we are working on this!