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Needing a Pep Talk


Guest raisingcain
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Guest raisingcain

Hello out there! I could really use a pep talk. I am feeling like...I'm not sure what I am doing. I've been homeschooling my oldest child for the last 7+ years, he's now 13 years old and finishing up the 7th grade and I'm feeling like he is sooooo behind!! It scares me. When people meet him they all comment on how bright and interesting he is, however if he had to write they would quickly see how behind he is. This year was a really slow year for math, he just wasn't catching on. I feel like high school is right around the corner and we just aren't ready. He really needs his "hand held" through much of his work. I feel like I've failed him. I know he has "special needs" and maybe my expectations are just too high. I feel like I'm making us both feel like failures. I'm tempted to send him to school so it just won't be my fault anymore. Anyway, thanks for listening...

 

Raising Cain

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No advice for you, but I know how you feel. My dd will soon be 12 and she is behind in math and writing. She has dyslexia and dyscalculia. I also think she has inattentive type ADD. I just had a meeting yesterday w/ the local school to get testing done. They are going to do it in August. I'm glad about it. If she needs accomidations later on for ACT/SAT or college, it has to be documented. I don't know what the future holds for her, but I want it to be an option if she chooses it. That said, dh and I have just about decided that I will go back to work, nightshift, full time to pay for her to go to a private school for dc w/ LD's. It's pricey, but I really need someone to work w/ her who knows what they're doing. I'm not saying I'd never hs her again, but I think she and I both need this. She needs the exposure to new teachers/methods and also to other dc who are like her. That's probably not an option for you.

 

Keep in mind that if your son was in ps he probably would be much further behind because he would not be getting 1:1 instruction. We are going to do 6 weeks of summer school working only on math, writing, reading and some fun stuff like science and art. No more than 2 hours per day.

 

IKWYM about feeling like adulthood will soon be thrust upon them. I hope someone can give you better advice. We just can't give up. They are intelligent, thoughtful human beings w/ learning glitches. The human brain is amazing. Surely, we or someone, can help them learn these basic academics so that they can achieve in life at what their gifts are.

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Here's a pep talk for you. :) First of all, it's NOT your fault. Even with an optimal learning environment, some kids just learn more slowly than others. Another thing to consider is that sometimes, learning doesn't occur in a straight line - kids can seem to be languishing along, stuck in a particular area, then suddenly, something clicks and they begin to move forward again.

Concentrate on the positives. He's bright and interesting - he obviously has a lot going for him right there.

Have you figured out the underlying problems that make schoolwork difficult for him? With this information, you can plan a program to best address his needs and possibly remediate underlying weaknesses. If you need curriculum advice, there are lots of experienced and helpful people who post here. Truthfully, I've found more useful and productive information online from parents dealing with similar issues than from professional assessments. Professional assessments can be helpful, however, as long as you remember that they are at best a snapshot of performance on a given day and not necessarily a predictor of how your child will do in the future. Perhaps it would be beneficial for you at this time to try a different approach or curriculum.

It's important, especially as kids enter the teen years, to focus on their strengths and interests and help them develop in those areas, while guarding against focusing mainly on their weak areas (although continuing to assiduously work on those weak areas with the most effective methods available to us). Doing so will help you to alleviate that false sense of "failure".

Also, we need to try to be realistic about the educational path our child should take. For instance, I doubt my child with dyslexia will be taking calculus in high school or writing novels or winning the national spelling bee. But he's special, unique, and gifted in his own way, and so is your child.

Stay positive! :)

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