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Slowness due to perfectionism - tactics and how to move to cursive?


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Hobbes is a perfectionist. Through a variety of tactics, we have got to the stage where he doesn't actually cry when he gets things wrong. He is improving.

 

However, when he writes, making a mistake stops him dead, he gets cross with himself, makes the same mistake again, gets crosser with himself.....

 

I have modeled making mistakes, given him a phrase to say, 'Oops, I made a mistake,' and given him lots of hugs. He doesn't give up like he used to, but he still gets frustrated and his writing takes him much longer than it 'should'.

 

Two questions:

- should I schedule less writing in the week to take account of how long he spends on it, hoping that he will speed up over time? Or should I schedule a more normal amount?

- I was planning on having him start cursive next year. His printing is quite nice. Should I delay the cursive or get it over with? Should I consider using italic or similar, rather than HWT, in order to reduce the relearning?

 

Edited to add: he's left handed.

 

Thanks

 

Laura

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Hobbes is a perfectionist. Through a variety of tactics, we have got to the stage where he doesn't actually cry when he gets things wrong. He is improving.

 

However, when he writes, making a mistake stops him dead, he gets cross with himself, makes the same mistake again, gets crosser with himself.....

 

I have modeled making mistakes, given him a phrase to say, 'Oops, I made a mistake,' and given him lots of hugs. He doesn't give up like he used to, but he still gets frustrated and his writing takes him much longer than it 'should'.

 

Two questions:

- should I schedule less writing in the week to take account of how long he spends on it, hoping that he will speed up over time? Or should I schedule a more normal amount?

- I was planning on having him start cursive next year. His printing is quite nice. Should I delay the cursive or get it over with? Should I consider using italic or similar, rather than HWT, in order to reduce the relearning?

 

Edited to add: he's left handed.

 

Thanks

 

Laura

 

I am like this and two of my sons are. What I did was make "cursive" our art lesson for the week (usually 2-3 times per week). I'd give them a phrase (usually in Latin to double up on school) and have them write it in cursive, but it also had to be artistic. This let them work through their frustrations over "flubs" and decorate the nice parts. With each lesson I'd vary the medium they were working with - watercolors, markers, pastels, etc.

 

It was a little more work for me, not much, though, and it helped them work through that perfectionistic streak as far as writing in cursive.

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I have these same issues with my ds(8). I always brush off mistakes as no big deal and just ask him to correct ones that cause misunderstanding (like a wrong math answer or a misspelling). Over time, he's learned to be less hard on himself. He doesn't like writing either. We tried approaching cursive, but it didn't go over well at all! The perfectionism reared it's ugly head big time! So, I've backed off for now. He can actually read cursive, so I'm not stressing about it. I know many successful people who never use cursive handwriting. I anticipate that we will revisit the task of learning how to write it at some later point. I'm satisfied, for now, that he can read and understand it when he sees it.

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My lefty ds 8 was just this same way last year. We have been doing cursive this year and the people at HWT would be amazed at his book as it looks like a teachers manual. His writing looks exactly like theirs. His manuscript is getting faster (and sloppier). My dh said when he was younger his teacher told him he was too slow writing so nicely, so he started going faster and you still can't read anything he writes. I won't tell him to speed up, I'll let him go his own pace. It's hard enough writing as a lefty. He'll speed up eventually.

Have a great day,

Katty

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The moves are fluid, the lines aren't straight, and it encourages getting to the end of the word before dotting I's and crossing T's.

Just a thought.

 

I just fear the re-learning. I may well go with UK-style cursive, which is not very different from printing. There are samples on this page:

 

http://www.nelsonthornes.com/nelson_primary/new_html/nelhand_comps.htm

 

Laura

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I just fear the re-learning. I may well go with UK-style cursive, which is not very different from printing. There are samples on this page:

 

http://www.nelsonthornes.com/nelson_primary/new_html/nelhand_comps.htm

 

Laura

 

I learned cursive in the US for one year, and then moved to Australia. I *can* write US cursive, but left to my own devises, I do something like your samples! I wasn't aware that is what I was probably taught in Australia

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Hobbes is a perfectionist.

 

Two questions:

- should I schedule less writing in the week to take account of how long he spends on it, hoping that he will speed up over time? Or should I schedule a more normal amount?

- I was planning on having him start cursive next year. His printing is quite nice. Should I delay the cursive or get it over with? Should I consider using italic or similar, rather than HWT, in order to reduce the relearning?

 

Edited to add: he's left handed.

 

 

 

We have a lefty perfectionist here too. He has beautiful handwriting, always printed well. Then he wanted to learn cursive. We found a website -- Basic Handwriting for Kids, Cursive -- which showed the alphabet in motion online. We printed out the alphabet, he sat down and taught himself in a couple of days.

 

Then we hit the snag. He was so good at it so quickly that he wanted each letter to be perfect, in a long handwritten passage. Things were taking forever to be completed. He would use white-out, and then we would have to wait for the white-out to dry before we could go on. (Do you hear my silent scream?)

 

Our compromise here was to learn typing.

 

Ds now types the science papers, school papers, writing, where he can print out doublespaced, correct, edit, let his perfectionist ways fly.

 

And the cursive is for his own enjoyment for letters to the grandparents, fancy notes, projects, signing his name to things. He can read italics in print and cursive notes from people as long as they aren't too stylized.

 

That's what's worked here. I liked Amy's ideas -- kind of like calligraphy. Having a true perfectionist can be interesting. Good luck figuring out what works for Hobbes.

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