Older moms -- do you ever stop missing your kids when they move on?

[Gwen in VA]

my oldest left for college last fall. I missed her like crazy last fall, but I figured I'd get used to it. Well, I'm still missing her like crazy! :( (And I still have three at home -- it's not like I've been left with an empty house!)

 

Any comments from folks who have been there and done that?

[Tokyomarie]

Well, Gwen, my first started college 4.5 years ago. She graduated last May with a BA. I have missed her all these years but though she never came back home to live- even in summers- she was always here for the holidays and the occasional weekend. There was something about the idea that our house was "home" that kept me from feeling a real sense of loss.

 

However, in 6 short weeks we will be watching her walk down the aisle to marry her beloved. Then they will promptly move to a city many states away. Today I am full of tears thinking about how far away she's going to be. How thankful I am for cell phones with mobile-to-mobile service!

[Ellie]

they are 31 and 29. We live in Central Texas; one dd lives in California, the other lives in Seattle.

 

I guess we just grew into it. Or maybe I prepared myself psychologically. I dunno. Yes, I miss them, but we talk on the telephone, and air fare isn't all that expensive.

[kathleen]

No, I don't think it ends. My son is in his first year of graduate school, and I'm so excited that he will be home this Friday for spring break (and it's not even spring yet!). I have one child left at home, and he'll be a senior next year, and I'm not looking forward to him being gone at college.

 

It has gotten a little easier over the years to send our son off at the airport, but it always feels a bit lonely around here without him. I don't mean to make it sound like I mope around all the time--I don't, and I keep myself busy--but there always seems to be something missing!

 

My own mom lives near me, and she said she would be devastated if we ever moved away--and I'm 51, and haven't lived with her since I was 18!

[ereks mom]

ER is my oldest & will be graduating & going off to college this year. I have dreaded it -- literally -- since he was born! I am excited for him, but sad for ME. EK will still be home for a few more years, and I do look forward to getting to spend more time with her only, but I also dread the day she leaves home. She and ER are very close, and she is feeling the same way I am.

[Susan in IL]

You wouldn't be a mom if you stopped missing them. I think it is part of the job description. :D

 

I still miss mine, he is in the 2nd year of a 6 year program. He calls me at least once a week, more often if he has time. I haven't seen him since mid-January but I will pick him up next weekend for break.

 

I am having lunch with his girlfriend this week. She is on break and was just visiting him last weekend.

 

His little brother misses him terribly.

 

I think your feelings are pretty normal. :)

[Janet in WA]

Not yet. The most I can say is that I've adjusted to missing them.

[Amy in Orlando]

I'm dreading this ... I know this is what I've been working towards all these year but I'm going to miss them. At least I know that I'll be sending them out able to find the answers they need for school, able to sort and do laundry, able to cook more than microwave food and mac and cheese and I know they'll come back (right?) to visit?

 

I have a couple of years until the first one leaves, but it already pains me, even if I know it's for the best.

[Merry]

My oldest ds is 25 and lives with a wonderful wife and two beautiful children 6 hours away. My 23 year old dd lives a couple miles away and sees us for dinner once a week. My 19 year old ds is going to the state university while living at home but he's already starting to be independent of us and is becoming more focused on his friends than his family which is normal. I missed my oldest ds terribly for the first year or two but have gradually gotten used to the feeling and the joy I have from seeing him grow as a husband and father makes up some for the loss of his presence. I missed my dd when she moved out of the house but then we almost never saw her when she was living at home anyway and I'm so proud of her the way she has matured and taken charge of her life. I think that once your children have become full grown adults, it'll be a bit easier to have them in their own homes. But I have to say that I hope that my oldest ds will be the only one to move so far away and that my other five children will stay close by in the future:) And I do fantasize that my oldest ds will find an equally good job here and move here but it's not likely. Anyway, it's fun for us to visit back and forth.