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Is It Jealousy?


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I posted yesterday that Diva will be earning some high school credits next year while she's in grade 6. She'll be working on grade 9 science, and probably english as well...I'll be discussing more with the t/a to see if there's any more to add.

 

Anyways, I was very excited about it, and as well as posting here talked to several friends and family members about it.

 

Bad idea.

 

Several of them had the need to whiz all over the situation. Compelled to tell me WHY this was bad, how damaging it would be for Diva to complete high school early, could we afford for her to go to college early, and on, and on, and on.

 

Why? I could understand the concerns if Diva was being thrown into a classroom with kids several years her senior, but she's homeschooled. Those that know me know I wouldn't force my kids into something like this. Diva is doing this because she can handle the work, and requires the challenge. Without the challenge, she gets bored.

 

So why can't people just be happy for her, and us, and not start spouting negatives immediately? :banghead:

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I don't know what causes those rain-on-your-parade type reactions. Jealousy is the obvious explanation, but mostly people just parrot what they think is common "knowledge". It is a rather common misconception that accelerated kids will have social issues. There is NO real evidence to back that up.

 

Kids go to college early (dual enrollment etc) fairly often, and, after a brief adjustment period, they do just fine. You are talking about two classes (at home no less). It's not like you're throwing her into a college dorm and driving away.

 

My oldest finished gr. 8 at a local (tiny) private school at age 12. The interesting reactions we got when discussing the curriculum chosen (If asked we shared it was high school level.) for our first year homeschooling quickly brought me up to speed on this phenomenon.

 

Sorry you're dealing with this. :grouphug:

Edited by darlasowders
clarity, punctuation....
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Several of them had the need to whiz all over the situation. Compelled to tell me WHY this was bad, how damaging it would be for Diva to complete high school early, could we afford for her to go to college early, and on, and on, and on.

 

Just say, "Hey, it worked for Doogie Houser!"

 

Oh, wait. Maybe that's what not to say. :D

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I wouldn't say it's "jealousy" per se, but similar in that you're breaking status quo.

 

When a person breaks the status quo:

 

1) others take it as an act of superiority or a judgment of inferiority against them

 

2) they simply get uncomfortable, because it's outside their box of understanding

 

3) well, they think they know it all and it has to be done their way, thus you are wrong and they are trying to save you and your daughter from your misguided good intentions

 

 

 

My opinion (for what little any opinion is worth ;) ) is....

 

 

You go, girl!!! Rock on, little diva! :D

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Hey, I just had a thought. Has anyone ever met anyone who graduated early that wished it had taken longer? Where ARE all those "damaged" people? :confused:

 

I'd challenge them to find even one.

 

I knew one...he was a bit of a social misfit, but a genius in his IQ. That is not unusual. He would have been a social misfit in highschool also, so it really didn't matter. In fact, he probably felt more comfortable at the local community college. I know I felt more comfortable there when I was double dipping. (btw, I was a social misfit also and in public school :tongue_smilie: so I guess I can say this). I'm sure he balanced out, most kids eventually do and so did I.

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*sigh* It's hard, isn't it? As I've said in another thread, we should be able to be proud of our kids no matter what level they're at.

 

Congrats to Diva and you, and a big fat :tongue_smilie: to everyone who had to dampen your spirits. And you might want to come over to the Accelerated Board for a visit too! ;)

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I wouldn't say it's "jealousy" per se, but similar in that you're breaking status quo.

 

When a person breaks the status quo:

 

1) others take it as an act of superiority or a judgment of inferiority against them

 

2) they simply get uncomfortable, because it's outside their box of understanding

 

3) well, they think they know it all and it has to be done their way, thus you are wrong and they are trying to save you and your daughter from your misguided good intentions

 

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

 

Sometimes with people who really care about you it can help to preface the "news" by saying outright, "Please be happy for us. We are proud of Diva and she is ready to take the next step."

 

Otherwise, you have to just confine your telling to people who appreciate it, like us! Congratulations, Impish and Diva!

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Hey, I just had a thought. Has anyone ever met anyone who graduated early that wished it had taken longer? Where ARE all those "damaged" people? :confused:

 

I'd challenge them to find even one.

 

 

Not to detract from the OP's daughter, because I do think that's quite admirable of her to be able to proceed at an accelerated rate in a nice, safe and loving homeschool setting, but....

 

I graduated early and it was a bad thing all around. I was bumped up two grades with the "rationale" that I was tall so I'd fit in. I felt like I had to lie about my age in order to avoid the wrath of my schoolmates. It is not a good feeling to live like that. I was not emotionally ready to go to college, but I did anyway, because that was what was expected of me. My first 2 years were a complete disaster on many levels. Academically, I was fine. As a person. I. was. not. fine.

 

20/20 hindsight says I'd have been much better off either not skipping grades, or having waited until I was at least 18 or 19 to start college.

 

And to the OP: Yes, they are jealous. People are nearly always jealous any time you dare to step outside the box they've preconstructed for you.

Edited by Audrey
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I wouldn't say it's "jealousy" per se, but similar in that you're breaking status quo.

 

When a person breaks the status quo:

 

1) others take it as an act of superiority or a judgment of inferiority against them

 

2) they simply get uncomfortable, because it's outside their box of understanding

 

3) well, they think they know it all and it has to be done their way, thus you are wrong and they are trying to save you and your daughter from your misguided good intentions

 

 

 

My opinion (for what little any opinion is worth ;) ) is....

 

 

You go, girl!!! Rock on, little diva! :D

:iagree:

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Not to detract from the OP's daughter, because I do think that's quite admirable of her to be able to proceed at an accelerated rate in a nice, safe and loving homeschool setting, but....

 

I graduated early and it was a bad thing all around. I was bumped up two grades with the "rationale" that I was tall so I'd fit in. I felt like I had to lie about my age in order to avoid the wrath of my schoolmates. It is not a good feeling to live like that. I was not emotionally ready to go to college, but I did anyway, because that was what was expected of me. My first 2 years were a complete disaster on many levels. Academically, I was fine. As a person. I. was. not. fine.

 

20/20 hindsight says I'd have been much better off either not skipping grades, or having waited until I was at least 18 or 19 to start college.

 

And to the OP: Yes, they are jealous. People are nearly always jealous any time you dare to step outside the box they've preconstructed for you.

 

Wow. I could have written. I skipped 2 grades, did ok academically, but was a social disaster. I really wish I had not been skipped.

 

But I do think handled appropriately it can work for some kids. I think it acceleration may be best done with homeschooled children. It's just easier to find peers and provide safe environments while providing academic acceleration.

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Wow. I could have written. I skipped 2 grades, did ok academically, but was a social disaster. I really wish I had not been skipped.

 

But I do think handled appropriately it can work for some kids. I think it acceleration may be best done with homeschooled children. It's just easier to find peers and provide safe environments while providing academic acceleration.

:iagree: OP has a different situation with the dd being homeschooled. Totally different environment. She has her parents to nurture and guide her.

 

Now, public high school... that was brutal. Just simply brutal. :crying:

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*sigh* It's hard, isn't it? As I've said in another thread, we should be able to be proud of our kids no matter what level they're at.

 

That is good advice. I read things like this on the board (what Impish posted) and I think, "Why can't my kid be doing that?!" I had such high hopes when we started homeschooling. I bought the line that homeschooled kids are advanced simply by being homeschooled. I imagined my kids being so intelligent that they would at least be juniors in college when they graduated from high school. Well, let's just say that now I don't expect that to happen EVER! :lol: My oldest kid may never be advanced but he's a good kid and has so many talents in other areas of life.

 

Congratulations, Impish and Diva! I think it is great if she can go ahead. I can't think of a single negative, especially since she is doing the work at home and not actually attending high school at a young age.

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I did post yesterday when I first talked to our t/a about it :D

 

There is no WAY I would consider this if Diva were still in ps. I can too easily imagine the damage that would be done socially to her...and she struggled with bullying when in ps (a huge part of why we pulled her) Can't imagine how much worse it would have been, skipping to highschool *shudder*

 

This may sound incredibly...odd...but having an 'advanced' kid never occurred to me...at least not with Diva. She's so QUIET about her intelligence, if that makes sense. The Littles, they plain scare me. They've pulled stunts from infancy that have warned me that I'd best be on my toes when it came to their future education, but Diva...she's flown under the radar, always a C student at ps...the first sign I had was when she was at a cousins while I was at the hospital having The Princess. She was shown a short piece on the piano once, played it back perfectly, and repeated it again the next day...perfectly. And when we brought her home, her math skills blew us away, and have continued to grow by leaps and bounds...WHEN she chooses to buckle down and do the work of course :lol: Her reading skills have always been ahead, but I considered that 'normal' :blush: It wasn't until her t/a asked if I 'helped' her write her fiction story that I realized that her skills were way ahead of whats typical.

 

Honestly, I credit everything to Diva herself, and to being homeschooled. If it weren't for being pulled out of ps, I have no doubt at all that Diva would have continued to be a C student, and we would have been none the wiser as to what she was really hiding, in a combination of distraction and depression from bullying, and trying to 'fit in'. I thank GOD that we decided to homeschool, and this child has had a chance to really shine!

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It doesn't sound like jealously. It sounds like genuine, loving concern for your dd. :001_smile:

I wish I could agree. One of the people is very openly against homeschooling. She accepts that I deem it best for my children, but will never agree that there isn't some social developmental harm being done that cannot be met through any other means than ps. That Diva is doing well enough to accelerate 3 grade levels seem to really tick her off, and prove further that Diva was suffering socially. *sigh*

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I don't think it is jealously. I think that when people don't really 'get' homeschooling, they may come off as being negative. Your relatives may not have understood that accelerating is very common for homeschoolers. An elementary student doing hs level work is not unusual for lots of reasons ie. if you have a mix of elementary and hs homeschool children in the home, you hs year round, motivated student etc. But the same thing happening in the school system is unusual and people would be concerned because of the age/social maturity issue. You should probably make sure to explain to those that voice concern to you that the circumstances are very different because you homeschool and it really isn't something they need to be concerned about. Tell them that there is nothing wrong with early college either. My son accumulated 3 yrs of college before he graduated from hs high school this year. He also had no problems whatsoever with fitting in with the college crowd. His college teachers love him because he was mature and responsible.

Edited by 2cents
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