My teaching interferes with my mothering.

[BamaTanya]

I've been teaching in ps again this year. When we determined it would be best for me to go back to work, I decided teaching would be the best job schedule-wise for my family. I specialized in gifted and talented education and headed back to public schools -- doubling our family income since dh is a school counselor.

 

It has been a stressful year. Older ds with Asperger's has struggled horribly with the transition to middle school. He'll have to stay home or we'll have to fork over big $$$ for a private school that accepts students with autistic disorders. That's why I went back to work -- to pay for his (and our other dc's) needs. Private school. Therapy. Etc.

 

The other dc have had their ups and downs . . . Mostly ups, I guess. But whenever there's a problem, my homeschool heart questions why my dc have to deal with this . . . and that . . . and the other nonsense of schools . . .

 

If I don't return in the fall (my interim contract will be ending anyway), we can't afford the private school.

 

On the plus side -- I'm almost finished with my higher degree and we've almost paid off our substantial cc debt and we're planning our first vacation in 11 years . . .

 

The guilt -- am I sacrificing my other dc (sending them to school) to pay for special services for one? If I stayed home (teaching him at home), would I be able to meet his needs?

 

I wasn't before. And after his wonderfully successful year in ps last year -- with teachers who helped him progress more than ever -- I'm afraid I would fail him again. Unfortunately, he couldn't take those teachers with him as he grew!

 

I can't afterschool. I can't even keep up with everyone's homework. Teaching wears me out. I'm exhausted every evening.

 

It's rewarding in some ways, yes. I haven't been a great teacher for my students this year, but I've done some good, I think. I've encouraged and nurtured and taught, challenging some and motivating some others . . .

 

I'm back at square one, I guess. We need extra money. We'll be paying my student loans soon . . . and college for the kiddos (at least some of them) before long . . .

 

Is there some PAYING job that works with homeschooling?

 

I cannot work from home. I have 5 children. 2 with special needs. They can't work independently or even cooperatively if my mind is elsewhere. KWIM?

 

I'm afraid if I'm homeschooled all my dc again, I'd be cutting corners and trimming off all the "busy work" and I wouldn't match the expectations of school. Or that my dc wouldn't meet the challenge like they've *mostly* done in their classrooms . . . It's time for college preparation now -- not "they'll get it someday."

 

Yes, I could tutor. But it doesn't come close to matching the money I make teaching. And it's so unpredictable. And, for me, not having a PLACE to go to work makes it more difficult to keep my work-stuff (and work-thoughts/preparations) separate from the family. I don't have an office at home. We have bedrooms and living spaces.

 

I must be rambling because I can't sleep. Too much on my mind.

 

Thanks for listening.

[Ibbygirl]

I've been teaching in ps again this year. When we determined it would be best for me to go back to work, I decided teaching would be the best job schedule-wise for my family. I specialized in gifted and talented education and headed back to public schools -- doubling our family income since dh is a school counselor.

 

It has been a stressful year. Older ds with Asperger's has struggled horribly with the transition to middle school. He'll have to stay home or we'll have to fork over big $$$ for a private school that accepts students with autistic disorders. That's why I went back to work -- to pay for his (and our other dc's) needs. Private school. Therapy. Etc.

 

The other dc have had their ups and downs . . . Mostly ups, I guess. But whenever there's a problem, my homeschool heart questions why my dc have to deal with this . . . and that . . . and the other nonsense of schools . . .

 

If I don't return in the fall (my interim contract will be ending anyway), we can't afford the private school.

 

On the plus side -- I'm almost finished with my higher degree and we've almost paid off our substantial cc debt and we're planning our first vacation in 11 years . . .

 

The guilt -- am I sacrificing my other dc (sending them to school) to pay for special services for one? If I stayed home (teaching him at home), would I be able to meet his needs?

 

I wasn't before. And after his wonderfully successful year in ps last year -- with teachers who helped him progress more than ever -- I'm afraid I would fail him again. Unfortunately, he couldn't take those teachers with him as he grew!

 

I can't afterschool. I can't even keep up with everyone's homework. Teaching wears me out. I'm exhausted every evening.

 

It's rewarding in some ways, yes. I haven't been a great teacher for my students this year, but I've done some good, I think. I've encouraged and nurtured and taught, challenging some and motivating some others . . .

 

I'm back at square one, I guess. We need extra money. We'll be paying my student loans soon . . . and college for the kiddos (at least some of them) before long . . .

 

Is there some PAYING job that works with homeschooling?

 

I cannot work from home. I have 5 children. 2 with special needs. They can't work independently or even cooperatively if my mind is elsewhere. KWIM?

 

I'm afraid if I'm homeschooled all my dc again, I'd be cutting corners and trimming off all the "busy work" and I wouldn't match the expectations of school. Or that my dc wouldn't meet the challenge like they've *mostly* done in their classrooms . . . It's time for college preparation now -- not "they'll get it someday."

 

Yes, I could tutor. But it doesn't come close to matching the money I make teaching. And it's so unpredictable. And, for me, not having a PLACE to go to work makes it more difficult to keep my work-stuff (and work-thoughts/preparations) separate from the family. I don't have an office at home. We have bedrooms and living spaces.

 

I must be rambling because I can't sleep. Too much on my mind.

 

Thanks for listening.

 

I wish I had a great answer for you... heck, I wish I had a magic wand that could make it all better for you. That's a hard place you're in. My dd has Asperger's too. It's definitely not easy and she's the ONLY student I have. I am sending you lots of good thoughts and :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: I will pray for you.

 

Jennifer

[Peela]

Wow, you have a lot on your plate.

Its hard to make decisions like that, with so many variables, with more and more thinking. I think you have to go with your heart, your gut feeling, and let go of the guilt and fear that stop you doing whatever is the right thing for you. And sometimes there just isn't one correct decision, and no one gets a perfect childhood or life, and you just have to accept you are doing the best you can, and don't be so hard on yourself.

[lollie010]

OK--I could have written this post. Just change the career titles and the number of kids. Mine are not special needs children and they are so young that school really doesn't matter right now. Yet, I was pushing myself too hard. My work schedule and stress were ruining the time I did have with the children. I resigned on Tuesday! What a relief! Now I will have to figure out all of the financial details and I will still be working occassionally. It really wasn't about the quantity of work, but I never felt like I could totally focus on the kids and their needs. I have had a few moments of regret this week, but I know it is the right thing for our family right now.

 

I hope that you come to a decision and that you have peace about it. I was working to pay for things that the kids can do without if they have me.

 

Soon after the difficult decision was made my ds (5yo) looked at me and said "mom, is it fun to be an adult?" If he had asked before I decided to quit I don't know what I would have said, but he asked after I made the decision and I was able to lift him up, dance him around the yard, and say "yes, it is now." Blessings in your decision.

 

Laurel T.