I don't want to be a soccer mom! What's it like in rural areas (not a subdivision)?

[RoughCollie]

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Edited May 22, 2009 by RoughCollie

[Remudamom]

I grew up country club, private school, sororities and debutante parties. I survived, but give me country anyday. When I was growing up I had to get a ride out to the barn to see my horse, now I walk into the backyard.

 

I have coffee with my chickens. The guineas wake me up. The kids play in the creek and come home filthy.

We don't do team sports, we found they took up too much valuable family time. We do have neighbors, but they live a ways down the road, (and in our houses, it's nice to be able to control who you have for neighbors)

 

We have to drive 20 minutes for Walmart, that's not bad. If we want something else it's an 90 mile one way drive. It's very quiet at night, you can see the stars.

 

I'd go for country over soccer mom.

[Margaret in GA]

Your Question: What's it like to live in a rural area?

 

On a good day, I love the peace and seclusion. I love that my kids don't have neighbors to speak of-- they really can be a pain especially when you have a teen. The salt of the earth people will help you in a pinch. My kids know how to build stuff, kill chickens, ride horses, and work a hard day in the garden.

 

On a bad day, I long for pizza delivery. More entertainment options like a movie theater that I don't have to drive the 35-45 minutes home from when it's so late and I'm so tired. More like-minded friends for myself and my kids. Those salt of the earth people don't read good books and it's kind of hard to relate to them. The long drive to various activities for kids is really, really hard.

 

I'm learning to embrace it since a.) no one seems to be able to sell anything anyway and b.) this is my husband's idea of heaven. Good days seem to be outnumbering bad days lately.

 

Margaret

[amy g.]

I was a soccer mom before we moved here. I much prefer this lifestyle.

 

I just heard yelling outside. The kids were swimming, and the turkeys tried to join them. There was much screaming, and stick waving to shoo them out of the yard.

 

We do have neighbors, but they have their own animals and land. We help each other out, but also realize that everyone who lives here values privacy.

[melissel]

I just talked to my mother and I asked her what category I fit into, and she said I'm a soccer mom. We discussed it, and she's right.

 

What's wrong with this is that I live in a community chock full of soccer moms, and I don't fit in. Oh, I fit in on the surface (house, vehicle, kids) but aside from that, it's just not me.

 

I am so desperate to get out of here, and my chance has come since we are moving to western PA.

 

I figure there are two other basic lifestyles: urban and rural. (There are no tropical islands in Pittsburgh.)

 

What is it like to live in a rural area? The one we are considering is 8 miles away from the county seat, and about 45 minutes from Pittsburgh. The location isn't so important -- the ruralness (I know that isn't a word) is. There is a small dairy farm next door. The landlord told me if I sit on the front porch at 4 p.m., I can watch the cows coming home from the pasture (to the barn to be milked).

 

 

Thanks,

RC

 

While a 90-minute drive might be a bit too rural for me, something in between there and suburbanism sounds like heaven. If only I could get DH to agree... *sigh* RC, I don't think 8 miles from the county seat sounds too bad. How long would it take you to get to "civilization?"

[jenL]

I yearn for country over soccer mom, and I am a soccer mom! Ds loves it, and dh is an assistant coach and will most likely coach his own team next season. Like the op, I don't fit in aside from appearances. The fact that I homeschool already sets me far back -- I've even received odd looks on the sidelines when they learn what I do. The county sports "politics" drive me crazy. I would take country ANY day... it's just not in our plans right now as Dh needs to be near a city for work. :sad:

[Catwoman]

(There are no tropical islands in Pittsburgh.)

 

 

And you're moving there anyway? I'm shocked and appalled, RC! ;)

 

Cat

[newbie]

I missed the scoop, did you get a place in Greensburgh? Or carpeting the old one?

 

I live in rural, but I like rural, tired of the trac homes and everyone in everyone elses biz.

 

I love to see horses, birds, cows and all wildlife. Its a sight not many city kids get. Even if its for a short while, its a short blissful period.

[snickelfritz]

being rural just means that you have to drive further. The driving is enough to make some people choose not to do as many activities. For others, it means they spend even more time and money getting to activities.

 

I grew up playing city-league softball and showing animals.

 

My parent purposefully kept those activities at lower levels of competitiveness. We had 5 or 6 livestock shows a year and our softball season had 1 or 2 practices a week, 1 game a week for 2 months, and maybe a tournament.

 

Others were involved in travel leagues that they had to travel 45 minutes to practice and then travel for tournements. Or they made every livestock show they could, having a show on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday of every weekend.

[Impish]

Dh and I were just online yesterday, checking out rural properties and sighing longingly! We can't wait for the day when we can get the heck out of the city to an acreage.

 

My parents had an acreage, and I remember the quiet the first few nights we moved up there. It was almost deafening when you're used to the steady hum of the city. Oh my gosh, the stars! Incredible!

 

Yes, there are drawbacks, such as the lovely waft of pig manure when you have laundry out on the line. Or, as others mentioned, lack of pizza delivery, etc readily available as in the city.

 

But for all the drawbacks, dh and I pray nightly that we're able to find a way to purchase a home of our own on an acreage, and allow our children the freedom that comes with being able to roam your own property without fears of cars, strangers, etc. Of being able to send them outside for a day and not worry. Of them building forts in the bush, of being able to camp on our own property. Yelling and carrying on without fear of disturbing neighbours.

 

I just keep praying that day comes SOON! :D

[Carrie12345]

Well, I live in a cross between rural area and subdivision in eastern PA, and it makes me nuts. Most of the moms here would be considered soccer moms, even though the practice fields are 30 minutes away. But I can hide in my house and avoid them all for weeks on end! ;)

[hillfarm]

We are about 30 miles from the nearest town of any size, about 35 miles from the nearest McDonalds!

 

Rural living is great, but not what most people's fantasy about it involves. We don't have any street sounds or emergency sirens, but right now there is a rooster standing on my front porch banister crowing for all he's worth. And he is LOUD!

 

If you are in a working farm area, there will occasionally be dust, smells, and sounds that are...less than pleasant. For example, when that dairy farmer is spreading manure on his pastures to fertilize them and the fragrance wafts toward your home. Or when he is combining corn or making hay and the dust plume rises high and blows with the wind. Or when the milk truck comes grinding down the road at 4:00am every day to collect the milk. That is the price to be paid for living in an area that is usually more scenic.

 

Rural areas are not immune to crime, nor are all the people who live here nice, kind, welcoming, open-minded individuals. Often times rural areas are dominated by a small number of family groups who seem to run everything. And many times they are characterized by a certain level of poverty and lack of educational opportunities.

 

However, I love living in a rural area and wouldn't trade it for the world. I love the freedom to explore and to enjoy nature. The opportunity to work hard and literally grow a business from the ground up if I choose to do so. The fact that my 10yo dd knows where her food comes from and is more comfortable playing in a creekbed than at the mall. It's not for everyone, but it suits us quite well.

[KidsHappen]

What happened to the house with the hardwood floors? Is this the same house?

[momo9]

......I have coffee with my chickens. The guineas wake me up. The kids play in the creek and come home filthy.

We don't do team sports, we found they took up too much valuable family time. We do have neighbors, but they live a ways down the road, (and in our houses, it's nice to be able to control who you have for neighbors)

 

We have to drive 20 minutes for Walmart, that's not bad. If we want something else it's an 90 mile one way drive. It's very quiet at night, you can see the stars.

 

I'd go for country over soccer mom.

 

 

 

 

:iagree: yep. Country anytime, anyplace. Trust me, after living in the Orlando/Daytona area, a Kansas farm is awesome!:party:

[AnnetteB]

We live just outside the urban growth boundary. It is only 5 miles to the library, but we have a little over 3 acres to call our own in a "rural" atmosphere. We love it! There are a couple of sports-minded families in our sprawling neighborhood, but we all get along just fine. I am not a competitive person and shudder at the thought of team sports.

 

I would not want to live right next door to too many cows. The ammonia gets pretty stiffling in the summer heat. We have six goats and the barn smells are minimal.

[Tree House Academy]

Let's see...I live on 60 acres of farm land in a town of less than 2,000 people. My nearest neighbor is about 400 yards away (my MIL). My other neighbor is across a 60 acre field. My house backs up to a mountainside and has a creek running through the back yard. How's that for rural? LOL

 

I love love love love where I live. I never thought I would, but after being out in the world, I have to say that there is no place like home. The mountains that surround us are gorgeous - I see one at every single view from my windows. If I want quiet and peace, I come HOME. :) If I want something to do, I drive about 45 minutes to the nearest decent sized city. I am used to the drive now...and besides, when I lived in NW Ga and had to drive to Chattanooga everyday, I spent at least that same amount of time sitting in traffic on the interstate!

[Tree House Academy]

Rural areas are not immune to crime, nor are all the people who live here nice, kind, welcoming, open-minded individuals. Often times rural areas are dominated by a small number of family groups who seem to run everything. And many times they are characterized by a certain level of poverty and lack of educational opportunities.

 

On the other hand, :iagree: 100% with this as well.

[Garga]

I live in semi-country. I live in a 2 mile square town.

 

My house is in-town, but surrounded by country. The closest Wal-Mart is about 25 minutes away. But there is a movie theater 10 minutes up the road (Yes!!) This town has one traffic light.

 

It was a HUGE culture shock for me, moving from Baltimore suburbs to this tiny little town. People around here would complain about "rush hour." What a joke!! Rush hour means there are like 5 extra cars on the road. Strangers will actually smile at you when they pass you on the street. I used to be creeped out by all the smiling strangers. People will randomly strike up conversations with you at McDonalds. If pedestrians are trying to cross the road, cars will stop and let them cross!! Unheard of in suburbia. EVERYTHING closes at 8:00--on a late night. Other nights stuff closes at 5:00. Businesses don't have answering machines, so you can't figure out what their hours are unless they are open and answering the phone.

 

When we went to closing for the house, the one woman who handled the closing was wearing shorts. (Compared to the closing on the house we were selling in Baltimore, where there were 5 people there in full suits. Who got irritated and rude when we pointed out a typo they had to fix.)

 

I'm about an hour from Baltimore and today we went to the art gallery there. I'm worn out and it takes all day, but I like it that we're that close to civilization so we can still get doses of it. However, I kept passing all the malls and restaurants and clothing stores and STUFF TO DO that just isn't available in my town. That part is a bit of a downer.

 

No one ever (ever) tailgates me around here. They're all driving nice and slow. They're not in a rush. On my trip to Baltimore today, I was going 15 mph over the speed limit and was still being tailgated. I don't miss that!

 

I spent the first 6 months after moving here driving around totally not paying attention to where I was going in the car because there was so much to see! The green (green green--who knew that Green could be so GREEN) fields. The blue sky. The HUGE clouds. Looong stretches of fields that end in mountains in the distance. It's gorgeous! Bucolic. My kids totally take it for granted. We pass horse farms and cow farms and goats and all that and it's normal to them. I still get excited and yell, "HEY! Look at the horses!" The kids look, but it's normal for them. I guess it'd be like someone saying, "Hey! Look at the billboard!" They're just so used to green and horses and clouds.

 

This is way too long.

Edited May 21, 2009 by Garga

[luv2quilt]

"Ruralness" has its pros and cons. We lived for four years in the smallest county in TN (which only had 2 stop lights). We lived on 11 acres in the country with cotton fields and cows across from us. It was nice having a large area for the kids to roam and play, and gazing at stars and listening to crickets churp at night was wonderful. My kids got a little tired of country life after a while. They preferred living in a place where you could at least see you next neighbor and have kids over to play. It was hard getting used to having nothing to do after a while (even the movie theatre in town closed). I got tired of hauling coolers to the nearest grocery store (40 minutes away) every weekend. So I guess we're more surburbanites than rural folk.

[Tree House Academy]

LOL - I have to add this to my list of rural experiences. I grew up in an "in between" area. Not here. We lived in a rural neighborhood of houses built in the 70's when I was a kid. We had land and a barn, but most of the folks around my house didn't farm as their living. The kids all played together...in the street. The cars just knew to look for us. We were always sitting in the road or in someone's driveway. It was a safe, rural but not, kind of area.

 

Well, I moved to Knoxville, then to Chattanooga, and then outside of Chatt. in GA before coming here with dh. Of course, that was city life and by the time I moved here, I was really a city girl. It took me awhile to LOVE life out here in the hills. Though, I admit, I did not love life in GA with the wonderful view of 80 other houses from my back porch either!

 

One day, just after we settled in here, I was folding laundry in my bedroom. I went to get a load, came back, put the basket on the bed, looked up at the window and there was a COW standing there staring at me. We don't raise cows. This was NOT our cow...or the cow of anyone we knew...yet there it was - eating my grass and staring at me. I called my dh and told him and his response was, "what...you didn't order a cow?":glare:

[MamaT]

Well, I'm a soccer mom who lives in the country! My children's activities are anywhere from 20-40 minutes away. I really don't mind the driving them around every afternoon, though.

 

What I like about living in the country is that when I am here it is peaceful. I have wonderful mountain views. We have turkeys and other animals visiting our pond all the time. My kids play in the springs/streams that are all over our property and have a great time. We have kickball games in the pasture.

 

We have friends and neighbors that are "down the road a bit." Most of the people are nice, but I have found the ones that are more than acquaintances are the ones who are transplants here as well. The old-timers around here are pretty close-minded. They are nice enough, but they have their own friends/family that share connections that a new-comer never will.

[Mari]

your terminology, I mean.

 

It seems as if you are more concerned about where you live rather than the sports/activities your kids play. I live in the suburbs but know MANY moms who have chosen to limit or cut out altogether their kids activities. I would not consider them soccer moms. To me, that label is reserved for the moms who could be mistaken for taxi drivers, shuttling their kids to multiple activities several times a week, or the ones who are overly involved in the activities themselves. However, I also have friends who live out in the country and still choose to be this sort of "soccer mom." They just have to drive farther. They love where they live but still want their kids involed in sports and other activities.

 

Just what is it that you are referring to in your question...not wanting to be an overly involved, taxi-driving mom, or one who is concerned about where you live?

[katilac]

The bad thing is that it is rilly, rilly hard to tell if you're going to like country living without actually trying it!

 

Growing up, I spent a fair amount of time with relatives in the country, and still visit. dh and I spent a year in a tiny town in Tennessee, we have lived in the midst of the city, and we currently live in the burbs and own a cabin in the country.

 

One big downside to small town living for me was the lack of like-minded people. There was little to no interest in books/reading/academics, and people were jaw-droppingly open about their prejudices. I find the pressure to conform far more intense in small towns than anywhere else I have lived; pretty small deviations quickly mark you as weird, :D.

 

Often, not only does everybody know everybody, but everybody also know's everybody else's business. This drove me utterly insane, even when it was harmless (my dh's customers were constantly telling him when/where they had seen me last, I felt like I had a hundred stalkers, lol!).

 

So, I pretty much know that 'small town' living is out for me. It would have to be country enough that we didn't have neighbors, or an entire town full of people who seemed genuinely interested in why I drove to Johnston City twice in a week.

 

Our cabin pretty much fits that description. It has a creek and a pond, plenty of trails for the kids to meander on, and many cute woodland creatures. It's very peaceful and relaxing, but the remote location means that jobs are an hour or more commute away. Also? No high speed internet, which is pretty much a deal breaker for me. If we lived there, we'd have to budget for satellite access or something.

 

The type and quantity of activities you want your kids to participate in is also a consideration.

 

You talked about a landlord - - would you be renting? That's definitely a low-risk way to try it. I really wouldn't recommend plunking down your life savings on a house/acreage if you've never had the actual experience of country living.

[Mom2boys]

We live just outside the urban growth boundary. It is only 5 miles to the library, but we have a little over 3 acres to call our own in a "rural" atmosphere. We love it!

 

Sounds like heaven! :001_smile:

[MrsMe]

 

What is it like to live in a rural area? The one we are considering is 8 miles away from the county seat, and about 45 minutes from Pittsburgh. The location isn't so important -- the ruralness (I know that isn't a word) is. There is a small dairy farm next door. The landlord told me if I sit on the front porch at 4 p.m., I can watch the cows coming home from the pasture (to the barn to be milked).

 

 

Thanks,

RC

 

Peaceful. You can make it as crazy or serene as you wish, because the city is busy and noisy. But mostly, I'll bet you'll end up more peaceful.

 

I plan my trips for the most part. At night it's quiet and we can see the stars. I can walk outside in the morning in my jammies and nobody will see me. I can burn my Amazon boxes from my deliveries in my burn barrel. :ohmy: I can park my RV wherever I want and if I don't want to bring in my garbage can up from the "curb" I don't have to. I can put a shed where I want it and can make it whatever size I wish. I can have 5 sheds if I want. I know that if I walk around my path 4 times, it's a mile. I can ride my bike and nobody will honk or run me over. My dd has a good friend that lives 5 min away. I can hang out my sheets on the line and nobody cares. Even my undies, but I don't like stiff undies. LOL! Nobody is revving their engines and I don't hear the neighbor's music. We can play a game of baseball IN OUR YARD. Yes, actually hit the ball and run bases all the way home, not just to 1st base or play in the street. I can watch the storm roll in and roll out. We have 4WD when the wash flows, but then that's our "snow day". Who needs curtains or blinds unless the sun is too hot. And yup, a few times a week, the rancher's cattle goes through the neighboring state land and we giggle at the calves behind their mommas. 4 calves about 3 days ago. Very cute!

[caitlinsmom]

I love the country! I am six miles from the county seat that has a whopping 3K population. Its peaceful, quiet and relaxing. I have a large city (not as big as pitsburg) 90 miles from me. Honestly I make it there about 3 times a year. Once you get used to living in the boonies you relax and simplify your life.

 

I would never consider going back to the city. Oh and as far as soccer moms go, they are still here, they just drive beat up pick up trucks, go to exersice class after they cut hay, and plan other activities around crop harvesting. :D Better than the city anyday!

[caitlinsmom]

Peaceful. You can make it as crazy or serene as you wish, because the city is busy and noisy. But mostly, I'll bet you'll end up more peaceful.

 

I plan my trips for the most part. At night it's quiet and we can see the stars. I can walk outside in the morning in my jammies and nobody will see me. I can burn my Amazon boxes from my deliveries in my burn barrel. :ohmy: I can park my RV wherever I want and if I don't want to bring in my garbage can up from the "curb" I don't have to. I can put a shed where I want it and can make it whatever size I wish. I can have 5 sheds if I want. I know that if I walk around my path 4 times, it's a mile. I can ride my bike and nobody will honk or run me over. My dd has a good friend that lives 5 min away. I can hang out my sheets on the line and nobody cares. Even my undies, but I don't like stiff undies. LOL! Nobody is revving their engines and I don't hear the neighbor's music. We can play a game of baseball IN OUR YARD. Yes, actually hit the ball and run bases all the way home, not just to 1st base or play in the street. I can watch the storm roll in and roll out. We have 4WD when the wash flows, but then that's our "snow day". Who needs curtains or blinds unless the sun is too hot. And yup, a few times a week, the rancher's cattle goes through the neighboring state land and we giggle at the calves behind their mommas. 4 calves about 3 days ago. Very cute!

 

:iagree: You totally descibed my house! Well you forgot to mention the neighboors sheep that prefer my grass so each morning I wake to lambs making their sounds and munching away. Oh and the barn owl across the way that has the most soothing and haunting hoot, it lulls me to sleep all summer.

[G5052]

A lot of our co-op friends live in subdivision while we live on 1 1/2 acres on a road in a semi-rural area with houses built by different builders at different times. We don't do the summer swim team, the soccer league, etc. by choice and because we work and play outside so much. My kids know so much about nature that it scares me. I haven't belonged to a gym in 4-5 years because it's just easier to get my exercise working outside or with my equipment in the basement. We drive to town 2-3 times a week to do martial arts and errands, and do a weekly school-year co-op about 30-40 minutes way (I do errand that way afterwards). Overall, I wouldn't change a thing.

 

Of course it's a pain in winter plowing our way down to the main road, our power goes out a lot, and we have a well and septic field to worry about. If there's a fire, they have to bring a tanker. Nothing's perfect, is it?

[RoughCollie]

.

Edited May 22, 2009 by RoughCollie

[newbie]

Congrats on the hardwood floor home. Everything will work out fine.:grouphug:

[Remudamom]

Well, here's something I left out because I don't think about it anymore. Some folks have commented on the lack of like minded people. It's true. I do not have any friends around here. Really. There are women I talk to, but I do not do ANYTHING with them. No movies, no coffee dates, no girl talk, no shopping. We don't socialize with anyone. I mean, we wave, we speak, but they are not friends..not even the people dh grew up with and went to high school with.

 

So, this might be a big drawback for some people but not for me. People in general annoy me with their stupidity. I have dh, the kids and a sil that comes by weekly to see us. I have friends I see every 2/3 months, I see my family yearly. My dds are older now and good friends for me. The boys are fun to be around.

 

Everything is a strike against me around here. I'm imported from the South. Homeschooler. Reformed in an non reformed Baptist/Methodist community. I like my horses and chickens better than all the ladies down the road.

Don't do the team sports or 4H.

 

So if you need a friends, it might not work well. I couldn't care less.

[newbie]

Well, here's something I left out because I don't think about it anymore. Some folks have commented on the lack of like minded people. It's true. I do not have any friends around here. Really. There are women I talk to, but I do not do ANYTHING with them. No movies, no coffee dates, no girl talk, no shopping. We don't socialize with anyone. I mean, we wave, we speak, but they are not friends..not even the people dh grew up with and went to high school with.

 

So, this might be a big drawback for some people but not for me. People in general annoy me with their stupidity. I have dh, the kids and a sil that comes by weekly to see us. I have friends I see every 2/3 months, I see my family yearly. My dds are older now and good friends for me. The boys are fun to be around.

 

Everything is a strike against me around here. I'm imported from the South. Homeschooler. Reformed in an non reformed Baptist/Methodist community. I like my horses and chickens better than all the ladies down the road.

Don't do the team sports or 4H.

 

So if you need a friends, it might not work well. I couldn't care less.

 

Remuda,

 

I just woke up from a nap, and could be seeing things, did you strap a saddle to a goat, if so do the chickens ride em.

[hsmamainva]

We live in a rural area.

 

Here are the worst parts:

 

1) No cable TV or high speed internet. It's satellite or dial-up. The TV doesn't bother me...the speed of my internet does!

 

2) Quite a few roads here are nothing but dirt and gravel. When it rains, they turn into a sloshy, bumpy mess

 

3) A trip to Wal-Mart takes 40-45 minutes. That's also how long we have to drive to find a library, a bookstore, a movie theatre, a shopping mall, or a Starbucks. When you need something, especially in an emergency, it's rough! It's also that far to the nearest hospital -- not a fun drive when a crying child needs stitches! :(

 

4) My oldest drives an hour each way to the community college. She's been doing this for two years because there's only one high school in the county and they don't offer AP classes or exams. She had to drive an hour to take the PSAT / SAT exams, too.

 

Here are the good parts:

 

1) No crime. We never lock our doors, unless we're going to be away overnight.

 

2) My kids can roam outside without a care. They spend hours exploring the woods and building forts.

 

3) Plenty of room for the dogs. We have 3 acres of land and our house is 2 miles from the main road. I don't know what our two Labs would do if we had a tiny yard.

 

4) Nice folks live in the country! For all the whining and complaining I do about the internet and long-distance drive to town, I've met the nicest people I've ever known! Most will bend over backward to help you when you need it.

Edited May 22, 2009 by hsmamainva
I keep remember stuff!

[RoughCollie]

.

Edited May 22, 2009 by RoughCollie

[hsmamainva]

No one ever (ever) tailgates me around here. They're all driving nice and slow. They're not in a rush. On my trip to Baltimore today, I was going 15 mph over the speed limit and was still being tailgated. I don't miss that!

 

 

 

LOL! I agree with this one!!

 

Our idea of a traffic jam is when we're stuck behind a tractor or harvester. And no one honks...just plods along, going 5 miles an hour. ;)

[Mari]

RoughCollie,

 

Thanks for giving us your definition of a "soccer mom."

 

I mean no disrespect here, but it seems as if you may not be enjoying your life right now and it really doesn't matter where you hang your hat. The house sounds beautiful but moving there won't guarantee you'll find like minded friends and you may still wear the "WEIRDO" label there, too. Why should that matter anyway, though, if you are convicted in living YOUR life the way YOU want? BTW, I've found that women talk about those same topics you mentioned regardless of where they live. And until their kids can drive themselves, they still cart their kids wherever they need to go. Perhaps if you look harder with a different pair of glasses, you might find other SAHMs who are more suitable to your liking.

 

Please forgive me if I'm totally off base with my comments. It's just that as a military wife, I've uprooted so many times to places I never wanted to go, sometimes with young kids BTW, just to keep my family together. I'm not a fan of long-distance marriage!;) I've always been advised by other military wives to "bloom where you are planted." I hated that phrase when I first married into the military but I have since accepted it as my own and can say it does make a difference in how I choose to live my life.

 

It just sounds to me as if you need to add color to that box you're living in, especially if your hubby doesn't want to move out of suburbia. Remember, it's his box, too. You might find that others will like the splash of color you are using and decide to paint their own as well.

[runninmommy]

I just talked to my mother and I asked her what category I fit into, and she said I'm a soccer mom. We discussed it, and she's right.

 

What's wrong with this is that I live in a community chock full of soccer moms, and I don't fit in. Oh, I fit in on the surface (house, vehicle, kids) but aside from that, it's just not me.

 

I am so desperate to get out of here, and my chance has come since we are moving to western PA.

 

I figure there are two other basic lifestyles: urban and rural. (There are no tropical islands in Pittsburgh.)

 

What is it like to live in a rural area? The one we are considering is 8 miles away from the county seat, and about 45 minutes from Pittsburgh. The location isn't so important -- the ruralness (I know that isn't a word) is. There is a small dairy farm next door. The landlord told me if I sit on the front porch at 4 p.m., I can watch the cows coming home from the pasture (to the barn to be milked).

 

 

Thanks,

RC

 

What your describing..the cows, the pasture, and being far out sounds like heaven. I live out in the country and I love it. We have acres to ourselves, peace and quiet, several farm animals and a large garden. It is just such a simple life, a traditional life and it got me away from the "busyness" of living in town. The kids are learning so much and appreciate the simple things. I can not say enough good things about it.

 

It is not for everyone though. I have several friends who like to shop and be close to city events. They would be miserable out here. If that sounds like you, it probably is not your cup of tea.

 

Me? I like my piece of heaven. My quiet. My bubble.

[mommyrooch]

I feel that we have the best of both worlds.

 

We live in an undergound home on 5 acres. (Talk about rustic!) We own a large creek that is spring fed so it never dries up. It is fully stocked with fish so we can go out on our dock anytime and go fishing. It's also large enough for paddle boats and canoes so we enjoy those as well.

 

We have a large garden every year and my daughter loves her pony. I do have 2 neighbors but we can't even see each other from the front of our houses because there is a total of 40 acres between all three families.

 

My kids play outside ALONE and I never have to worry about them getting snatched or ran over. My biggest fear is them finding some big stick and killing each other. :D Since my house is underground and far off the road you wouldn't even know that our house exists unless you specifically knew us. You can't see it from the road. VERY private.

 

The other side of the coin is pretty darn good too. We live within 15 minutes from EVERYTHING. Movies, major chain restaurants, bookstores, convention centers, museums etc. We live in the country but my husband works in the city. It only takes him 20 minutes to get to work even accounting for rush hour. My kids play soccer, volleyball and swimming at a YMCA that isn't in our town but a larger town close by. 10 minute drive! That's it! Some people drive WAY longer than that just to get across their large towns.

 

I would not change my lifestyle for anything. At times it does seem like a lot of work trying to maintain our property but the pain is sooooo worth the gain. You couldn't pay me enough to live in downtown suburbia.

 

Like I said, best of both worlds. Country lifestyle but fast & easy access to all the creature features that society has to offer. :)

[runninmommy]

People in general annoy me with their stupidity. I like my horses and chickens better than all the ladies down the

So if you need a friends, it might not work well. I couldn't care less.

 

We are soul mates.

:lol:

[RoughCollie]

We live in an undergound home on 5 acres.

 

Wow! Would you mind telling us more about it? Your home sounds so cool.

 

RC

[sportymom]

I was kinda wondering, too, like Mari, what your definition was. After reading it, I realized my definition and yours are different. I am a soccer mom/baseball mom--meaning I take my kids to their events, watch them, and we come home. We live in a neighborhood, we have our little square foot garden w/a few veggies, we don't have pets. I don't really know what I'm trying to say...if we had a chance to move to the country, we wouldn't just jump on it, it would take some thought. For one, DH's job is good right now and it's a blessing that he's able to be home for a good chunk of the evening. Who wouldn't love some land and space? There are a lot of SAHM in my neighborhood, but I don't know any of them that run out for breakfast w/friends, don't have lawn people, etc. Maybe they think I'm a weirdo, but I don't care to notice if they do. Maybe it's just where you live? Maybe the standard of living in some neighborhoods dictates the attitude that goes along with it?

 

I hope that your family finds what works for you! Interesting topic...

[melissel]

Honestly? I think your ex-H is right. This does sound like your dream house. And if it turns out that it's not, then you have all the time in the world to find a new place to live. I think this is a wide-open opportunity for you to experience something different...an open door. Enjoy the experience for what it's worth, and change it up if and when you need to.

 

I'm really glad you found a place to live. I can't imagine what the last few months, and especially weeks, have been like for the 6 of you :grouphug:

[Mari]

Well, I don't have friends here now because they all moved to states with cheaper costs of living.

 

I want people to be friendly to me, as I am friendly to them. All that stuff people do with their friends -- movies, shopping -- is not something I like to do.

 

I do want to go hunting and fishing, and maybe I'll meet someone who is willing to take me under their wing, who knows.

 

Mostly my friends and I got together at one of our houses and talked about interesting things. I could talk shop with the accountants and college profs, I found out lots of interesting information from the physicians, the mathematicians, and the physicists. We talked about literature, Paris, politics, science, just everything.

 

One time, I had a group of friends who got together to work math problems. We'd each bring a challenging problem to the table and have fun solving them. (We all taught math or science at a college.)

 

We spent time taking our kids places from amusement parks to camping to other types of vacations.

 

We never talked about our spouses or our kids, except in passing. Why should we? We already knew about the kids because they were right there with us. The spouses - what's to tell but gossip-fodder? I have a rule that I don't discuss my marriage or my kids with people IRL.

 

It would be nice to find someone like me and around my age in a rural area. It's just as difficult in the suburbs based on my experience, and I've given up, anyway.

 

Meanwhile, I like being with my kids and we don't have many years left before they head off to college.

 

Hi, again. I guess you posted this while I wrote my last response. Our bedtime routine over here took FOREVER so I'm just now able to respond to this one.

 

Basically, I stand by my earlier response but just want to add that I understand a little more of what you are missing. Can I just say, though, that so many SAHMs feel the way you do and would LOVE to have someone such as yourself come in and shake up their humdrum lives?

 

We often resort to the same boring conversations revolving around our kids because well, kids are usually what we have in common. If what you are craving is stimulating conversation and companionship, you just need to "bring it." Your last post reminded me so much of the "Frazier Crane" character in the sitcom, "Cheers." He was so out of his element in that crazy bar but the locals eventually warmed up to him and strangely, he found a place there, too. I just think you are missing the fact that friends can be packaged in all sorts of different ways.

[mommyrooch]

Wow! Would you mind telling us more about it? Your home sounds so cool.

 

RC

 

Sure, it's actually quite unique. My husband always jokes with his friends that he has to go home and mow the roof. :D At first they think he's kidding but when he says "no really, I have to mow the roof" they become really interested.

 

Our house was built into a large hill. Dozers were brought in and basically removed the inside of the hill and built the house under the hill. It was built by building giant molds for the walls and then the walls were made by pouring 10,000 PSI concrete. Yes, our house is solid concrete. :D You cant tell by looking though becasue all the walls are completely finished our with texture etc. The only way you can tell in by knocking on them. Or running into them with your head. ;)

 

After the house was completed the hill was then backfilled and the dirt was repositiond all around the house, including the top. The walls are 10 inces thick, then there is a waterproof sealer coating everything. After that 18 inches of a polystyrene insulation (kind of like styrofoam) was laid and then the dirt was put back in place. There is 30 inches of earth on top of the house. So yes, we mow the roof. :001_smile:

 

It is BEAUTIFUL however. It is brighter in my house than in most sight built homes. More light enters a building from the top than from the sides and we have TONS of skylights. At least one large one in every room. Even the bathrooms. We never turn on lights during the day. Our formal dining room is designed to be an atrium. It has a 6'x12' skylight in there.

 

Also, our home has a southern and an eastern exposure. Meaning, even though the entire house is underground, the south wall and the east wall are not covered. These two rooms are completly lined with windows. One of those room is a large sunroom/playroom. The other is our family room. Tons of natural light and fresh air. Aslo, the house is designed so that you can see out of these windows from any of the other rooms in the house so you can always see out no matter where you are. A lot of thought went into designing the home.

 

Our house is 3200 sq ft. It has 3 large bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, formal living room, formal dining room, family room, large kitchen, office and a separate classroom for our school.

 

From hearing about this house it probably sounds like we're rich huh? 3200 sq ft. home on 5 acres with a beautiful creek and a 2400 sq ft. workshop to boot. NOT! It's location, location, location. We paid under $175,000 for everything!

 

A comperable property somewhere like say, California or Florida would probably be ubsurdly high but here in our unpopulated, unglamorized area the cost of living is peanuts compared to many other places.

 

Like I said, I wouldn't trade it for anything. I love living underground with the moles and our utility bills are very low. I figure that I"m doing my part for the environment. ;)

[Remudamom]

Remuda,

 

I just woke up from a nap, and could be seeing things, did you strap a saddle to a goat, if so do the chickens ride em.

g.

Okay Newbs, you've lost me. No goats here??? No riding chickens. What did you drink before your nap?:D:D

 

ETA- wait, if you're talking about my avatar that's Hacinta the Arabian, misbehaving.

[Staci in MO]

Rural areas are not immune to crime, nor are all the people who live here nice, kind, welcoming, open-minded individuals. Often times rural areas are dominated by a small number of family groups who seem to run everything. And many times they are characterized by a certain level of poverty and lack of educational opportunities.

 

That's true.

 

I've also noticed that although people in rural areas are generally friendlier, it's often harder to develop new friendships. People aren't trying to be that way, but most the people in rural areas already have strong family ties and long-standing friendships. They aren't really looking to form new bonds, and it's harder. So, while it's unlikely that anyone is going to flip you off if you accidentally pull out in front of them on Main Street, they also might not have the time to invest in a new friendship. In a suburban subdivision, people seem to be willing to put forth more effort.

 

I still prefer rural areas to the city, but that's one difference that a lot of transplants find difficult.

[mom2abcd]

The house I found is 8 miles (10 min by car) to the county seat, which has restaurants, a county pool, a big park, Regal Cinemas, and so forth. Malls are close by, too.

 

Right now, even though I live in a densely populated bedroom community west of Boston, it takes me 20-30 minutes to drive to shops and movie theaters that are only 4-5 miles away.

 

Living rural in this location actually means a shorter or equal commute to wherever we'd like to go. I guess it helps that there aren't very many other cars on the roads.

 

So this is not out in the middle of nowhere, and is only a 45 minute drive to Pittsburgh. From our place now, it is takes the same amount of time to drive to Boston.

 

The house is in an area where we can get cable, internet, phone service, and cell phone service ... all the comforts of home. Plus it has 5 bedrooms if we use the home office as a bedroom, 2 gas fireplaces, a living room and a family room, a separate dining room, 1.5 bathrooms, and 2700 s.f. on 2.5 acres of land bounded by forest and more land (a farm is in there somewhere).

 

But it is rural. And it will be a big change for us. I think it will be a good one, based on the comments below.

 

This is the house with the Brazilian cherry floors. The man told me today that he is not going to rent it to anyone until DH goes there next week to see it.

 

I told my ex-husband (we have been friends since we got divorced 23 years ago) about all this. He thinks that God was protecting us when the house deals that seemed perfect fell through. He said he has a feeling that God wants us to have this house, which is why it came on the market in the last few days and is available right when we need it (June 1). When I described it to him, he right away said, "That's your dream house".

 

This house has a stream behind it, then forest. It is nestled in the hills. The forest is owned by the house's owner and his family and posted for no hunting, and we can use it whenever we like.

 

The totally weird thing is that it is exactly my dream house and setting -- I gave DH a full description of exactly what kind of house and land I want, 22 years ago when I met him. This is the house and the land. I mean, fancy floors or not, this is it!

 

Still, as much as I loathe the box, I'm afraid of making a mistake. The suburban house that was rented before we made it that far down the list felt comfortable because it is what I (and we) are used to.

 

 

This sounds perfect to me!

 

I've lived in the country most of my life, though now we're in the city. I much prefer being rural. We don't order out for pizza, go to movies, etc. here anyway.

 

I love seeing God's creation, sunrises, sunsets, stars... I love the peace & quiet. I love still being able to connect with friends by phone, emaill, etc.

 

It sounds like you are the type who enjoys a simple life with her family. I bet you would love the country life!

[RoughCollie]

.

Edited May 22, 2009 by RoughCollie

[RoughCollie]

I love living underground with the moles and our utility bills are very low. I figure that I"m doing my part for the environment. ;)

 

Thank you! Your house is so interesting. I love unique houses.

 

RC

[RoughCollie]

It sounds like you are the type who enjoys a simple life with her family. I bet you would love the country life!

 

I think I would, too. I do like (and already have) a simple lifestyle. The boys are covered because there is an old-fashioned general store 1/4 mile down the road, and they sell freshly made pizza. My boys can walk down there and be fulfilled (or filled full) if they don't want to wait on me to make pizzas from scratch.

 

DH told me tonight that even though we won't know a soul, he thinks we will be happier because people are so nice in Pennsylvania. Sure, there are not so nice people everywhere -- but we were there for 9 days and everyone was friendly to us.