Sports -- do you make your kids pick one?

[msjones]

My son is 9 1/2. He is very verbal, a complete bookworm, a lego 'expert', enjoys musical theatre/drama, likes to draw, writes cool stories, likes to hike, camp, ride his bike, loves tumbling at his gymnastics class, and is a great inline skater.

 

He is not good at organized sports.

 

There's no way around it. His hand-eye coordination is very poor as is his overall large motor coordination. He is currently playing baseball (his idea) and it is very difficult for him. (We knew it would be.) We're working with him to make it a positive season, but, geez, it is hard to watch sometimes.

 

My question: If you have a kid like mine, do you push a sport? Part of me thinks that the team experience is important. And it can be so fun, too! I want him to be able to enjoy participating on a team.

 

I know people require musical instruments, even if their children don't want it or don't seem talented.

 

Do any of you require a sport? If yes, what sport for a sweet, clumsy boy like mine?

[JudoMom]

We don't do team sports, but we do require Judo. Some days my boys love it and other days they hate it. I'm out there with them, and some days I love it and some days I hate it. In addition to being great exercise, I think it promotes self-control, confidence, and self-defense so I require it (the same way I require Latin and Piano).

 

For your son, I would consider a martial art or swimming. I wouldn't force him to pick a team sport, but if I felt that a competitive sport was necessary, I would consider a sport where he was mostly competing against himself.

[jonesloonybin]

If you are just looking for the "team work" aspect, I think they have Lego competitions. You have a team there.

 

I would not require a sport if he is getting enough exercise already (bike riding and in-line skating)

[PineFarmMom]

I wouldn't require that. I don't think team sports are the be-all-end-all. An instrument, in my mind, is of move value because it can be used into adulthood, particularly for the child who just isn't really all that athletic in the first place. I have one child who very much enjoys team sports and another who doesn't. I have a nephew who never liked team sports. He is brilliant and has chosen his own path and kind of bucked the system, as far as "what boys do". He travelled the world at 18 and is now a missionary at 21. Even though my brother LOVES team sports and had dreamed of having a son to play them, he chose to let my nephew be who he is, and I see it was just choosing the things that were best for my nephew rather than what the world said was best. Of course, I'd make sure he was outside playing enough, but other than that...

[joannqn]

I don't require sports either. My daughter isn't awkward or clumsy, she just isn't interested. My son has chosen taekwondo and is in it for the long haul. He wants to get his black belt and become an instructor. I don't require any team sports for either child.

 

With your son, I'd be worried about how the team would react to his clumsiness. Kids can get quite mean when they think one kid is costing them the game. Between knowing he isn't any good and the other kids' reaction to him, I'd be worried about long term damage to his self-esteem. I'd go for an individual sport.

 

Martial arts might be a good choice for him. Not only is there no pressure to win for the team but it builds balance, strength, coordination, and discipline. He can advance at his own pace. You can choose to have him participating tournaments or not. We limit our son's tournaments to just two per year because they get expensive.

[calandalsmom]

I do require it but I keep in close contact with the coach and know the coach will stand up for my less than gifted athlete should any remarks be made regarding his uh lack of prowess.

 

I require he participate in sports because he needs the exercise. Left to his own devices he'd do nothing but read and play lego.

 

We also do martial arts.

 

His sports are wrestling in winter and football in fall. Summer takes care of itself.

[Melissa in CA]

I have a kid exactly like yours, my 12 yo, and no I have not forced him to pick a sport. He doesn't like sports for one thing, and he would completely humiliate himself. Completely. I refuse to put him in that position just because the world thinks sports are the be all to end all. :tongue_smilie:

 

I don't put a lot of stock in self-esteem, and my ds would be the first to point out his weaknesses and laugh at them, but I also don't feel like a child needs to be ridiculed and made to feel like a complete failure either. This boy inherited his lack of coordination. He takes after his dad who, still to this day, cannot sing and clap at the same time. But he can do all sorts of really important things...like currently building me a porch and extending my laundry room. :D

 

Not all children MUST play sports. That is a lie propagated by society's love of all things sports. My two older boys played LL baseball for several years starting with coach pitch, they loved it and wanted to play. When they got tired of it, they quit. No questions asked, no trying to force them to continue. My oldest was an excellent pitcher too, who was wanted by several coaches. While my middle son was a fantastic catcher. They were very good players. Long story short, we do not make sports a god in our home, regardless of ability. It just isn't a priority. ;)

[chai]

I think having a physical activity that can be continued life long is far more important than being on a sports team. I would continue to encourage your son in biking, hiking and skating. He can do these for the rest of his life. On the other hand, if he wants to just try something, I would let him do that too, but I would pick a very non-competitive environment.

 

Theatre and drama can provide teamwork skills if you are concerned about that. The lego team idea is also a good one.

[eternalknot]

I think the "team experience" is a good one, and that it definitely benefits all kids to know HOW to work within a team. It's a precursor to being in relationships, be they personal or work ... you know? That said, there are many ways to get the "team experience" outside of organized sports - chess, legos, scouts, educational co-ops, et cetera. I'd definitely encourage those for your son.

 

However, there are also individual sports that function somewhat as a team - tennis, golf, martial arts. Those he could practice individually on his own time to develop his motor skills (I think that's more important than the team experience thing) , but also gain some 'team experience' at tournaments and camps.

 

But if he's great at inline skating ... what about finding a skate park? Or roller hockey team? I live in a very small town but even we have both of those within relative close distance :) this way, he's getting the team experience but he's on more even ground with his current physical abilities.

[msjones]

I have a kid exactly like yours, my 12 yo, and no I have not forced him to pick a sport. He doesn't like sports for one thing, and he would completely humiliate himself. Completely. I refuse to put him in that position just because the world thinks sports are the be all to end all. :tongue_smilie:

 

I don't put a lot of stock in self-esteem, and my ds would be the first to point out his weaknesses and laugh at them, but I also don't feel like a child needs to be ridiculed and made to feel like a complete failure either. This boy inherited his lack of coordination. He takes after his dad who, still to this day, cannot sing and clap at the same time. But he can do all sorts of really important things...like currently building me a porch and extending my laundry room. :D

 

Not all children MUST play sports. That is a lie propagated by society's love of all things sports. My two older boys played LL baseball for several years starting with coach pitch, they loved it and wanted to play. When they got tired of it, they quit. No questions asked, no trying to force them to continue. My oldest was an excellent pitcher too, who was wanted by several coaches. While my middle son was a fantastic catcher. They were very good players. Long story short, we do not make sports a god in our home, regardless of ability. It just isn't a priority. ;)

 

I hear all of you with your concerns about him being teased. The funny thing is, it hasn't happened. I think he's a likable kid, and the other kids and coaches seem to know he's trying. And he's good at cheering everyone else on. So, even though he is such a poor player, he's enjoying this. (!)

 

My husband isn't pushing it at all. (Thank goodness. I don't know what I'd do if he 'needed' our son to be a football player. That would be distinctly bad.) He sees that our son's gifts are elsewhere and appreciates that. (Plus, our younger son is quite athletic and LOVES football, so there is one 'football boy' in the family.)

 

While I realize that not everyone MUST play a sport, I also think that sometimes people need a little push to get started with something.

 

I guess I'd just like to direct him toward a sport that he could have a little more success with. For you martial arts parents, how does it go for the uncoordinated kids? I know almost nothing about martial arts.

[momofkhm]

I would push physical activity which it sounds like he does with his gymnastics and inline skating. If he's active most days, I wouldn't worry about it.

 

My kids do compete in sports but all of their sports are on a recreational level, no select teams, travel teams or anything. My oldest is good enough she'd probably make a select team, but that level of competition is not something she would enjoy.

[Perry]

My son isn't good at team sports, but I still require him to do something physical. After trying several different sports, he discovered that he has a real talent for figure skating. It's perfect for him, as it's one on one with his coach, and there aren't any complicated rules to remember. He also enjoys bicycling and swimming. As long as he's active, I don't really care what the sport is.

[SquirrellyMama]

I don't require a team sport but we do require a sport of some kind. I don't care if it is aerobics as long as they are moving. All of my kids right now are in TaeKwondo. This summer there will be swimming lessons and a short gymnastics camp.

[Cheryl in NM]

My son is 9 1/2. He is very verbal, a complete bookworm, a lego 'expert', enjoys musical theatre/drama, likes to draw, writes cool stories, likes to hike, camp, ride his bike, loves tumbling at his gymnastics class, and is a great inline skater.

 

He is not good at organized sports.

 

There's no way around it. His hand-eye coordination is very poor as is his overall large motor coordination. He is currently playing baseball (his idea) and it is very difficult for him. (We knew it would be.) We're working with him to make it a positive season, but, geez, it is hard to watch sometimes.

 

My question: If you have a kid like mine, do you push a sport? Part of me thinks that the team experience is important. And it can be so fun, too! I want him to be able to enjoy participating on a team.

 

I know people require musical instruments, even if their children don't want it or don't seem talented.

 

Do any of you require a sport? If yes, what sport for a sweet, clumsy boy like mine?

 

I started ds in martial arts when he was 5 so sports have always been a part of his life. Of course I shied away from all organized sports because we are rural and I didn't want to spend my life driving to all the practices and games. Ds begged for years to play baseball, I finally let him 3 years ago. He was very awkward, he still struggles somewhat but is getting better. He played football this past fall and it was the same story. He loves the sports, but just doesn't seem to be able to put all the motions required together. If I had it to do over I would have put him in team sports when he was younger so he could develop that coordination. I thought martial arts would take care of that, but it didn't.

 

Long story short, yes, I would require it as part of school. I think you are doing a great job. You are being supportive. Just be there for him emotionally and do what you can to help him with his hand-eye coordination.

[Tree House Academy]

My son is 9 1/2. He is very verbal, a complete bookworm, a lego 'expert', enjoys musical theatre/drama, likes to draw, writes cool stories, likes to hike, camp, ride his bike, loves tumbling at his gymnastics class, and is a great inline skater.

 

He is not good at organized sports.

 

There's no way around it. His hand-eye coordination is very poor as is his overall large motor coordination. He is currently playing baseball (his idea) and it is very difficult for him. (We knew it would be.) We're working with him to make it a positive season, but, geez, it is hard to watch sometimes.

 

My question: If you have a kid like mine, do you push a sport? Part of me thinks that the team experience is important. And it can be so fun, too! I want him to be able to enjoy participating on a team.

 

I know people require musical instruments, even if their children don't want it or don't seem talented.

 

Do any of you require a sport? If yes, what sport for a sweet, clumsy boy like mine?

 

I do NOT "require" sports. My 9.9 year old will play any sport you give him the tools to play (and is pretty darn good at basketball and soccer. He stinks at Baseball! LOL) while my 5 year old would rather dance or sing or play "Transformers." To each his own.

 

It sounds like your ds WANTS to play sports...just isn't very good at them. In that case, I would let him keep playing until HE decides he doesn't want to.

Edited May 13, 2009 by Tree House Academy

[Impish]

'Sport', no. 'Physical activity' yes. And he's already doing gymnastics tumbling, and gymnastics is a sport ;). I come from a family of 3 boys and I was the only girl. I was also the only one the slightest bit interested in sports. I was the only one to play on any teams in highschool. My one younger brother ended up pursuing martial arts, but as far as team sports go, I was it. The only way I'd put a child into team sports is if they wanted to be there. Trust me, when you're on a losing streak that seems like its never ever going to end, the love of playing, of improving your skills is very necessary, lol! To be there only at parental insistence...its just not going to make a child enjoy a sport if its not in them. Given the cost of sports these days, I need for my kids to be enjoying and wanting to be there.

[Melissa in CA]

I hear all of you with your concerns about him being teased. The funny thing is, it hasn't happened. I think he's a likable kid, and the other kids and coaches seem to know he's trying. And he's good at cheering everyone else on. So, even though he is such a poor player, he's enjoying this. (!)

 

My husband isn't pushing it at all. (Thank goodness. I don't know what I'd do if he 'needed' our son to be a football player. That would be distinctly bad.) He sees that our son's gifts are elsewhere and appreciates that. (Plus, our younger son is quite athletic and LOVES football, so there is one 'football boy' in the family.)

 

While I realize that not everyone MUST play a sport, I also think that sometimes people need a little push to get started with something.

 

I guess I'd just like to direct him toward a sport that he could have a little more success with. For you martial arts parents, how does it go for the uncoordinated kids? I know almost nothing about martial arts.

 

That's wonderful that he is enjoying basball! And I am very glad the other children are being kind. From our many years of baseball experience, I know that that is the exception and not always the norm.

 

I hope you'll forgive me if my post seemed...well...snarky. I must admit that I get a bit defensive when this topic comes up due to pressure from friends thinking I am somehow hurting my son by not signing him up for a sport every season. Yet, I sit back and watch these same people complain about never being home due to carting their kids all over kingdom come for practices and games. It's like they think by doing so, they are doing the best for their child, while I am not. It bugs me to say the least. :glare: Of course, these are the same people who think I am crazy to homeschool and who cannot wait for their children to get back to school after each and every break. :001_huh:

 

I personally think martial arts is a great way to learn coordination. Holding poses, learning kicks, etc. My older boys did some of that as well when they were young, they loved it. We had to quit due to money issues, but it was a good experience. I have considered it for my 12 yo, and if I could find someplace close I would probably encourage him to try it a few times and see if it's a 'fit' We live in the boonies though, so our choices are limited. My 12 yo also loved gymnastics. It was very helpful in building muscle. He decided to drop it due to wanting to be in a play which had a conflicting schedule. He loved the play, and got a lead part, but once that was finished, we never picked up the gymnastics again. Not sure why. :confused:

 

Currently he is not involved in anything, though he loves playing around on the wii fit! :lol: I've been having him do a lot of the balance games, and anything that takes coordination...like the step aerobics, rhythm boxing, strength training and Yoga poses. He is enjoying it, but now you've got me thinking about martial arts again... :D He mentioned a few years ago that he might like to try it, but at the time we didn't not have the money. I think we can swing it now. Hmmm. I'll have to ask him if he's still interested. ;)

[Pixie]

I hear all of you with your concerns about him being teased. The funny thing is, it hasn't happened. I think he's a likable kid, and the other kids and coaches seem to know he's trying. And he's good at cheering everyone else on. So, even though he is such a poor player, he's enjoying this. (!)

 

My husband isn't pushing it at all. (Thank goodness. I don't know what I'd do if he 'needed' our son to be a football player. That would be distinctly bad.) He sees that our son's gifts are elsewhere and appreciates that. (Plus, our younger son is quite athletic and LOVES football, so there is one 'football boy' in the family.)

 

While I realize that not everyone MUST play a sport, I also think that sometimes people need a little push to get started with something.

 

I guess I'd just like to direct him toward a sport that he could have a little more success with. For you martial arts parents, how does it go for the uncoordinated kids? I know almost nothing about martial arts.

 

He sounds very much like my oldest daughter, she LOVES to play softball. She has been waiting impatiently for the season to start (started last week). However, there is no 2 ways about it, she is just not very good at it. She lacks hand-eye coordination, also at 11yo she is still very much a little girl and some of her teammates this year are a head taller than she is and so much stronger. The important thing for me is that she enjoys it, as long as she wants to play and has fun we'll sign her up, the day she says stop that is what we will do.

I will require one physical activity but not necessarily sports. She dances so she has it covered for now.

[Laura Corin]

I require exercise but not team sports, as there are other ways to learn to be a team player: scouts, orchestra, etc. Calvin (klutzy, motor skills delays) enjoys Taekwondo but he and his brother also run each day and swim for half the year.

 

Laura

[Tree House Academy]

You are wanting a recommendation for him...Have you thought of swimming or maybe even martial arts. My older ds does tae-kwan-do at his own pace and is learning a lot about balance, coordination, integrity, respect...just the whole nine.

[swellmomma]

I do require physical activity of some sort. My dd is the one that would prefer to not have any but she is usually happy in gymnastics and swimming. We have tried rock climbing and baseball with her and she is going to start TKD int he fall with the boys and she wants to try basketball on for size(this child is smaller than the average 7 year old and she is almost 10). I don't make them pick one and stick with it forever instead I say they have to be in something activity and they can pick what they want to try. Next year ds10 is trying archery, fencing, TKD and basketball for the first time. Ds5 is trying TKD and indoor soccer.

 

I tell them I don't care if they are good at it, but they have to be active, so far so good. EVen with my unathletic dd (baseball was a very sad sight), the kids on her teams and her coaches have always been supportive of her attempts. My problem has always been other parents on the sidelines making comments so dd mostly does individual sports as opposed to team sports now.

[Suzanne in ABQ]

Team sports? Absolutely not. I understand that children learn a lot from playing on a sports team, but all those things can be learned from something else. There are lots of activities that require teamwork, but don't require athletic ability. And there are lots of sports that provide exercise and train coordination, but don't involve team competition.

 

I definitely don't put team sports in the same category as music. I require musical training. I require some sort of exercise. My daughter does several dance classes a week. My ds does karate. They both swim, and run and jump and play. Neither one has ever played on a sports team. And, I'm glad! :) My little dd is different. I can she that she is very athletic, and may someday want to play a sport of some kind. I'll let her, but I won't require it of her.

[dtb1999]

My question: If you have a kid like mine, do you push a sport? Part of me thinks that the team experience is important. And it can be so fun, too! I want him to be able to enjoy participating on a team.

 

I know people require musical instruments, even if their children don't want it or don't seem talented.

 

Do any of you require a sport? If yes, what sport for a sweet, clumsy boy like mine?

 

I would not push a sport on a kid that does not want to do it. It can be fun, but it likely won't be very fun for someone who doesn't enjoy sports. For me it's like imagining my husband dragging me into a hardware store and expecting me to love it. The thought makes me cringe. :tongue_smilie: There are other ways to get a "team experience" if that is what you hope he will gain from it.

[ccm]

My daughter has enjoyed rock climbing at the Y, fencing classes through the town recreation department (her instructor competed in the Olympics!), and ballroom dancing classes with the local homeschool group.

[Avila]

Like many of the other people, I require physical activity over a sport. I have because given their natural inclinations, I think two of my DDs would glue themselves to the couch instead. I do require a certain level of proficiency in swimming, for safety reasons, and I do require them to sign up for either a sport or a class at the YMCA to stay active. Unless there is a schedule conflict, I let them choose the activity. Until this Spring, this mostly ended up being a once a week homeschool PE class and their choice of a once a week physical activity.

 

I do like my kids to all have the experience playing on a real team for a season, and my oldest two have both done this. I may suggest things, or they may do things their friends are doing, but I don't require they stick with anything long-term, other than to finish the season or class session once we sign up for it. We have tried softball, soccer, dance, gymnastics, swimming, cheerleading, volleyball, and rock climbing over the years, with varying degrees of performance and success. Right now, my oldest is doing the swim team, and my youngest is in ballet. My middle DD is the child who most needs and thrives on activity, but she can't find anything she likes well enough to settle on, so we are still going on a session-by-session, season-by-season basis, letting her try out different things. Next up is martial arts!

[Only me]

I know it's not really a sport and not a lot of exercise but I think it is good for kids who aren't overly athletic. We like it because it is a team sport and an individual sport. You work to improve your own score. If you aren't a good bowler you will have a lower average.

 

My ds and my dd are in a league. There are many different kinds of kids who bowl. Some kids are lucky to get to get 80 but their average is low so it doesn't matter and no one makes fun of them. Then they help the team because they have a high handicap.

 

My dd played basketball but she was never aggressive enough. She tends to be shy and quiet and didn't really want to try other team sports because she didn't think she would be good enough.

 

Her little brother really enjoyed bowling so she wanted to give it a try.

 

She started off really slow and was lucky to bowl an 80. One day she bowled pretty well above her average. It just happened to be the day they were qualifying for a tournament. Even though other kids bowled higher she had a higher score because of her handicap and she went to the tournament.

 

The tournament was in February and even though her average was only around 80 she bowled very well that day. She bowled 4 games and bowled almost 200 over her average. She qualified to go to the state competition, which is this weekend. I think she shocked everyone.

 

I really think it has helped her confidence.

 

My son has a blast on his team. There are days that he does really well and the other bowlers don't do so well. There are other days when it is the opposite. They all just try to do their best and have a blast doing it. There really is no pressure except for pressure he puts on himself.

[jenL]

 

For your son, I would consider a martial art or swimming. I wouldn't force him to pick a team sport, but if I felt that a competitive sport was necessary, I would consider a sport where he was mostly competing against himself.

 

:iagree: Both sports allow the child to be a part of a "team"; however, the competition is actually individualized. For us, physical activity is important, but that does not mean a team sport is necessary. I was horrible at team sports, whereas dh excelled. Another bonus about these sports is they tend to be less politically influenced (ie. loss of spot b/c of coach's child, good 'ole boy networks, etc that can sometimes plague some of the towns). I'm also realizing there's a lot to maximizing the talents we have, and for some of us, sports may not be one of them.

[MamaT]

My kids have always been involved in sports or a physical activity of some kind (dance for one). I never thought about requiring it, but I do think that some sort of physical activity is important.

 

It doesn't have to be a team sport. As long as your child is active and getting some sort of exercise, I wouldn't worry.

[Hillary in KS]

I don't have time to read every reply, so I apologize if this is repetitive.

 

We push sports, but not team sports. Dh and I look at fitness as a lifetime thing, so our boys participate in sports they can do for years: running, tennis, swimming, etc.

 

The boys also need a way to burn off energy. Swimming and other sports has been a wonderful help in that area.

 

With ds 1, he wasn't interested in any sport. So we enrolled him on swim team, primarily because he needed to learn how to swim. As it turned out, ds loved it, and he's been swimming for 4 years.

 

Ds 2 is also on swim team, but he wanted to take gymnastics as well. (Very low-key class)

 

Ds 3 is learning to swim, and is also in gymnastics.

 

We live about 1 mile away from the YMCA, so it's very convenient.

[Old Dominion Heather]

I do require team sports and I require them to try different ones each year.

 

I do this because so much of male relationships, small talk, etc... is founded (at least around here) on sports. I don't require that my boys love sports, but I consider helping them to gain an understanding of the rules and basic skill of the sports to be almost etiquette issues.

 

If my boys are hanging around with a bunch of boys who want to play touch football or baseball or whatever, I don't want my kid to be the one who opts out saying "I don't know how to play." He needs that skill as a social one.

 

I also think that it is much easier to learn to lose as a part of a team rather than as an individual.

[beezus]

I don't think I would force him to do a team sport if he weren't expressing an interest in it. Sounds like he's getting exercise anyway. If the concern is learning about team work, you probably have plenty of opportunities right at home - helping do the dishes, folding the laundry - just learning to start taking on some of the responsibilities of being part of the family unit, as well as enjoying the benefits. To me this is a more important team work lesson than playing sports.

Not as exciting perhaps, but we just try to aside aside some time to do something a little fun after the chores are done. I'm not trying to knock team sports, my kid has done them, liked some and hated others, and I know lots of other people get a lot out of them. It's just that team sports aren't necessarily for everyone. If you broaden the idea of what a "team" is, there are probably lots of way to learn how to offer something positive to your group, which is what team work is all about.

[msjones]

I do require team sports and I require them to try different ones each year.

 

I do this because so much of male relationships, small talk, etc... is founded (at least around here) on sports. I don't require that my boys love sports, but I consider helping them to gain an understanding of the rules and basic skill of the sports to be almost etiquette issues.

 

If my boys are hanging around with a bunch of boys who want to play touch football or baseball or whatever, I don't want my kid to be the one who opts out saying "I don't know how to play." He needs that skill as a social one.

 

I also think that it is much easier to learn to lose as a part of a team rather than as an individual.

 

This is part of my motivation -- I want him to be able to join in and have fun when kids want to play soccer or football or baseball at the park, or on a camping trip, etc. Most of the kids around here (just about all of his friends) do play soccer or baseball or basketball. We hadn't done those things up until now because my boys weren't interested.

[msjones]

I appreciate all these responses.

 

I'm going to do my darndest to stay positive for the rest of baseball (just three more weeks) and then look into swimming. He is not interested, but I feel that I can require it since both my kids need to firm up their swim skills.

 

There is also a martial arts teacher at our resource center -- lots of kids like him, so I may look at that.

 

I wish there was a place for speed skating. He is SO FAST on his skates -- he looks like a different kid! And he loves it. But the only skating around here is ice hockey (soooo expensive) and figure skating (grace is not his strength...). Maybe I could at least get him out on the local trail on his skates more often.

 

Thanks, all of you, for your perspectives. There are many days when I wish kids came with a how-to manual and a check list!

[Melissa in CA]

This is part of my motivation -- I want him to be able to join in and have fun when kids want to play soccer or football or baseball at the park, or on a camping trip, etc. Most of the kids around here (just about all of his friends) do play soccer or baseball or basketball. We hadn't done those things up until now because my boys weren't interested.

 

This is where a good homeschool PE group comes in handy. Kids learn the sports in PE, without the stress and competitiveness of organized team sports.

 

My sil has a son who is amazing at every sport. Amazing. Yet she refuses to get him involved in organized team sports because of what an ugly little man he would become. :lol: He's very competitive and egotistical....and he's only 11! :001_huh::D

[Kathy in MD]

I have't read all the other posts yet, so I may be repeating someone. If team sports are important to you, check into things that can help him with his hand-eye coordination. Vision therapy has anacdotal evidence that it can help even professional athletes improve their hand-eye coordination. This may also help with the gross motor skills. If not, there are other things that will help with gross motor skills. My personal experience was with severe problems, so our solutions were initially with therapy, but our OT recommended horseback riding, martial arts and swimming to continue building on ds's therapies. Your ds may have different underlying problems, so he might beifit from different sports.

 

Re: team sports. My dh and I were not for team sports, especially at an early age. We didn't see the need for them and thought individual sports was the better way to go. finally ds dragged us kicking and screaming into the team sport scene.

 

We should have done it earlier. There is still much that can be learned in this setting that isn't in individual types of sports. Even if you are on a swim team or a tennis team, there is still a higher level of team integration in a traditional team sport.

 

So I now would back you in pushing for a team sport (I never would have said that a year and a half ago). But your ds is on a team sport, baseball, and loves it. Keep that up, help him improve his underlying physical skills and let him go with his team sport love. Do encourage him to try other individual sports that can be a lifetime activity, though he can develop those later, when he decides gymnastics is too difficult :)

[Kathy in MD]

This is where a good homeschool PE group comes in handy. Kids learn the sports in PE, without the stress and competitiveness of organized team sports.

 

My sil has a son who is amazing at every sport. Amazing. Yet she refuses to get him involved in organized team sports because of what an ugly little man he would become. :lol: He's very competitive and egotistical....and he's only 11! :001_huh::D

 

But this can be a great teaching lesson on how NOT to be ugly. But it takes a lot of courage on the part of the parent and cooperation from the coach. It's also best doe when they're young.

 

a young relative once showed unsportsmanlike behavior on the field. His father immediately grounded him from playing for a game BUT required him to suit up and sit on the bench so the young man remembered WHY he wasn't playing. It paid off in spades. A opposing team member recently mentioned to his mom how nice the youg man was to his opponents now. Of course, there will be slow learners. My ds would have required several applications of this training before he decided to use his competitiveness in acceptable ways.

[Guest Virginia Dawn]

My sweet clumsy kids are on a bowling league. We did baseball for a while. Bowling is much more fun for my kids. Plus it is easy to track your improvement.

[Frontier Mom]

Nope. I would find what he enjoys and is good at and pursue that. For my family, sports is that thing so that is what we do. However, as a Mom who has seen others struggle before kids their age, I don't think you are doing him any favors by putting him on a sports team if he is not good at it at all. To be honest, kids are just cruel sometime and it certainly won't help his self-esteem.

 

I try to teach my dc's to be considerate but not all kids are like that. Personally, I think childhood goes by so fast that everyone should get a chance to be themself and participate in the activities that enhance those things. Not everyone is made for team sports.

[msjones]

Nope. I would find what he enjoys and is good at and pursue that. For my family, sports is that thing so that is what we do. However, as a Mom who has seen others struggle before kids their age, I don't think you are doing him any favors by putting him on a sports team if he is not good at it at all. To be honest, kids are just cruel sometime and it certainly won't help his self-esteem.

 

I try to teach my dc's to be considerate but not all kids are like that. Personally, I think childhood goes by so fast that everyone should get a chance to be themself and participate in the activities that enhance those things. Not everyone is made for team sports.

 

I was talking with my husband about all this last night, and he pointed something out that goes along with your point, Frontier Mom.

 

He has kids come to play football every year who have never played on a football team. He says the coaches are happy to have these news guys, and that most of them do fine, contribute to the team, and enjoy the game.

 

That's a good reminder for me that sports don't need to begin early. And there's no doubt that my son is one of those kids who just isn't good at sports. Somehow he isn't miserable, but I'm sure that's not the same as "finding what he is good at and pursuing it."