Change in pet's personality after death of another pet?

[Rhonda in TX]

We had two cats that were littermates. Mittens (male) and Smokey (female). Mittens died unexpectedly a few months ago and Smokey is so different now!

 

She was always very, very quiet. Now she is almost annoyingly talkative. And loud!

 

She was kind of overweight. The vet actually lectured us a bit about it. She has slimmed down a lot since Mittens died. We think she was a social eater. She'd eat when she was hungry, and every time Mittens ate, too. She now prefers it if one of us are nearby when she eats. She'll actually meow at us to get us to come over, then starts eating.

 

She used to hide and sleep most of the day. You could usually find her, but she was away from us. Now, she wants to be where we are. She'll actually even jump up on the couch with us, which she never did before.

 

Her bossiness is really funny (and annoying at times - LOL). She wakes us up in the middle of the night all the time now for us to let her out, or feed her. She never did that before. I'm wondering if she thinks she's the "alpha" now.

 

Has anyone seen this type of thing before?

[Renthead Mommy]

Yes.

 

Our cats were brothers. When the 'alpha' cat (Kat) came up missing, his brother (Kitty) changed. Kat had always been the obnoxious one, (Hence the name - "Kat! Cut the out!") and Kitty the sweet. ("Oh, sweet Kitty") Kitty was still sweet, but sort of came into his own. It was like "Okay people, now we are going to do things MY way for awhile! He got a little demanding in his attention, and even went after the my brother's Rotweiller when he was brought home as a puppy. You could totally see the dynamic change in the pet line. It truely went from Kitty, to TobyDawg (who was raised by the two cats) and finally the big huge Rot.

 

I used to think it was his age, the cats were 14 or so when Kat went missing, but later I realized they missed each other. When we finally had to have Kitty put to sleep (at 19), both the Rot and TobyDawg missed him, you could just tell. At that point TobyDawg was getting up in age too. We knew he had cateracts, but didn't realize how bad till after my brother took his Rot back home (after having been back living with all of us for 1 1/2 years). That was when we realized the Rot had been basically acting like a seeing and eye and ear dog for TobyDawg. After the Rot left, I'm sure TobyDawg missed him, but his leaving really affected Toby's quality of life. He just couldn't get around without the Rot. We decided it was best to put him to sleep soon after that. He was 14.

 

And yes, we really were that original. Kat, Kitty, TobyDawg. We had an oscar fish named Oscar and a hamster or gerbil (I never knew what it was) thing named Critter. My mom teased my son was lucky we didn't name him "Boy"! LOL!

[Sputterduck]

Yes. My cat Mikey howled for most of the day for Months and Months after my dog died. They were best friends. Mikey wanted little to do with humans before the dog died. He got his social needs met by the dog. He finally attached to our family after the dog died and he needed love from us. He turned out to be the best cat I ever had after that and I still have his ashes all these years after he died. I don't have any of my other pets' ashes. He was just so special in those later years. Animals have emotions, too, and can become very needy after a great loss.

[Sharon H in IL]

Yup. The pecking order of the 'family' changes, and with it come aspects of personality that the alpha animal had acted to suppress.

[Shannon C]

We lost our lab a few weeks ago and our other two dogs have definitely changed a lot. They mostly seem sad. Our Italian greyhound has become withdrawn at times and at other times he seems agressive with our other dog. He always used to umm...try to "mate" our lab and I think he misses his outlet!(he's neutered by the way and all of our dogs have been male--odd) Our other dog, a chihuahua, has started following us around everywhere and sort of whines sometimes. The dog that died was our youngest, but they had all been together for 9 years. I wish that I could talk to them and explain. Sometimes I wonder if they think we just got rid of him or something.

[Rhonda in TX]

Wow. It sounds like it's not that unusual. We've lost pets before, but have never noticed this change before. I think Smokey does miss Mittens. She'll meow like she wants to be let out, then just sit in the kitchen staring at the back door when we open it. I think she's waiting for him to come in. :(

[Stacia]

Yes, they definitely feel the loss & personalities can change.

 

If possible, I think it's best for the pet pals to see their deceased friend or sibling, just so they know what happens. That way, they're not left wondering about 'disappearing' & can start their grieving too.

 

I've done that a few times in the past (when we have had multiple pets). They don't stick around the body long, but they can see/smell what has happened & at least know the situation.

 

Just my 2 cents....

[ElizabethB]

Growing up, we had a German Shepherd female dog for years. Then, we got a kitten. The German Shepherd loved cats, and was like a mom to the cat. She picked it up like a momma cat would when the cat was a kitten, and they played together when the cat got old enough to play.

 

The cat never meowed. The dog would bark when the cat wanted in, or the cat would come sit in the window in the living room to get our attention, then someone would go around to the front door to let him in.

 

About a year after the dog died, the cat started meowing! We decided it didn't up until then because its "mom" never did!

[kalanamak]

Absolutely. I had a quiet cat who was snubbed by the original cat. It was a bit of protein that moved about the house and didn't interact with us at all. (I took it in as a favour to my SIL). I never saw them fight, but Loner never got near enough. Wilda died, and Loner, a few days later, was cruising around. I made one of my rare rude comments to an animal "What good are you, you don't even sit on laps". Within minutes she was on my lap, and was the most loving of cats after that. I now think she was just a very respectful cat.

 

From an old post:

Obit: Lonesome B. Goodpussy, adopted as an adult in 1990 (and named by a five year old), died 1 July 2004 of probably lymphoma and lethal injection. A mouser supreme, she thankfully left birds alone, and was in death as she was in life: dignified, self-contained, and easy-going. I'm indebted to this cat, who climbed a tree whenever a child was about, but allowed Baby to explore her body without a scratch. "Cat" was Baby's first word.