Search the Community
Showing results for tags 'divorce'.
Found 2 results
Hi, I have a friend, a fellow homeschooling mama, who is going through a pretty terrible divorce. I have never been in a situation like hers and she is struggling with some serious feelings. It’s been 3 years since her husband left, and they finally got all the financial and custodial issues worked out legally this past summer. They were officially divorced last month. In all this time, she has tried her best to help her kids through it all. She hasn’t badmouthed him or the woman he left her for. She hasn’t complained about the months he refused to pay support to force her to go to work and give up homeschooling. She tries to make transfers between the two households comfortable and without drama. But it’s really hurting her to see her kids with her ex and the other woman. She feels so hurt still by what her did to her in the lead up to to their separation and worries that letting the kids be around the woman she considers a home wrecker is irresponsible of her as a parent. Her anger is growing so much right now after years of being only in survival mode that she wants to tell some of her kids some of the details. She has four, ages 16, 14, 10, and 7. The oldest is the only boy. I have counseled her not to. I’m not sure what she could gain from it and the ex is a really vindictive guy. If he takes it as my friend intervening in his current relationship he might take it out on her in legal stuff. I also worry that then the kids will feel all three of the adults in their life are messed up and willing to lay their burdens on them. The kids do know the facts about the break up but not most of the fall out on their mother. Also, since I’ve never been divorced and my parents never divorced, I feel unequipped to give advice on how the kids might feel and how it would affect their relationships. What I would like to know is this: 1) If you went through something like this, what were the best ways your friends comforted and supported you? 2) What are some book recommendations I could give her regarding the perspectives of children after divorces? 3) She has not gone to therapy and I really think she needs it. Her oldest child is in therapy but the others aren’t. I also have tried to look for divorce support groups for her. She’s not refusing those things but she’s so burdened and overwhelmed that she basically does no self-care at all. It’s all she can do to get through each minute of the day and no amount of my “put your oxygen mask on first” speeches has made any dent at all. I totally get why this is happening but what will need to happen for her to realize she needs these things. 4) What faith based resources might be useful? I’m an atheist, but she is an evangelical Christian. I met her after her marriage fell apart and I feel pretty sure that if we’d met before that we would never have become friends. She’s ... from money, and cares about appearances, and believed in the power of cheerfully carrying out your callings. I’m ... a mess. Really, no better way to put it. It’s all jeans and sci-fi t-shirts. I am on meds and in therapy for severe anxiety issues. But I like helping. And she needed help. So over the past couple of years we’ve bonded. She needs more than I can give her and though I don’t share her beliefs I can tell that’s where she wishes her help was coming from. Is there an organization for divorced Christian women, or books to read, or forums she can surf? Anyway, thanks for any insight. I love her kids and I care about her. My husband goes to fix stuff over there for her, I take the kids to do stuff a lot, and I listen to her vent and try not to judge her when I catch myself thinking, “how can you still love him when he was such an a-hole?” Where can she go from here?
My husband has filed for divorce and I am completely unsure how to do FAFSA for my 18 yr old senior. Son lived with me all of 2015; my husband did not live with us in actuality but used our address as his home We filed JOINTLY for 2015 I have no income, but my husband has a high income Any helpful advice? Anyone BTDT?