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Found 9 results

  1. I came across this article today relating some of the long-term effects of verbal bullying. http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-new-brain/201010/sticks-and-stones-hurtful-words-damage-the-brain I've never understood the people who insist that kids should experience bullying in school because it makes them stronger. Um, no. I figure the people who say that must have been the bullies not the bullied.
  2. OK, so one of the arguments I frequently hear against homeschooling is that kids who are not exposed to negative experiences with their peers (i.e. bullying, though that word is typically not used) will fail to gain crucial life experience in dealing with other people. Why do people make this argument? What research I have seen on bullying does not show positive gains of any sort as a result of the bullying--quite the contrary. Nor do I know any adults who honestly ascribe strength of character or ability to cope with challenging people and situations to the bullying they received as children. Are the people who make these claims people who were not bullied (or perhaps were bullies themselves?) Or is there something else behind the insistence that traumatic social experiences are in some way a critical component of a healthy childhood?
  3. I get that it's a popular word and all, but let's be real. Doing something annoying, or even something mean, to someone else...one time...is not bullying. That is all. You may now return to your regularly scheduled programming.
  4. Possibly this contest will be of interest to some of your DC, 13 to 18 years of age. There are USD$3000 in prizes. Here is the URL: http://stopbullying.challenge.gov/ The video is for the U.S. Government.
  5. It's been a rough week. One week ago today, our 18 month old puppy Kayak, Molly's puppy, cut himself badly above his left front pastern, or "wrist." Two out of the three tendons were completely severed, and the third 70% severed, and he missed a major vein by 2mm. I raced him to the vet and the tendons were surgically repaired. He came home in a cast, which had to be removed to day because of infection/skin degradation. So now he's got all 120 lbs on his front legs, 7 days post-surgery with nothing-- no support at all, but those sutures holding his joint together. He's in a crate under severe lockdown-- NO movement, and partially sedated, but he's not coping well. And I'm giving a professional development seminar tomorrow. To make matters worse, that whole bullying thing is escalating-- Molly's being targeted by a nasty, cruel girl who has had the reputation for being Miss Perfect for years. She's sly and cunning, and lies like a rug. Molly is now back to what got us to pull her out of school back in second grade-- pulling her hair out. Literally. And on top of it all, our dog food was included in the recall. Two weeks ago Ray, Molly and I all got violently ill-- severe stomach cramps, vomiting, diarrhea. Molly ran a fever, Ray and I had sweaty chills. We are still not back to 100%. Last Thursday was Ky's emergency and on the way home from the vet's I heard the news bulletin about the salmonella taint. I am CERTAIN we had it. I"m literally frantic with worry about both Molly and Ky, still queasy, and I swear I need to be sedated. Please-- send me a virtual Mike's. Or some advice. Or something that will make me wake up when everything's better. My mama's heart is hurting tonight. Thanks everybody.... astrid
  6. I have two boys that we have always homeschooled. This year we made the decision to enroll in a small Christian school(approx. 115 students). My oldest is a more of an introvert where as the youngest is a bit more of an extrovert. In fact, he has adjusted to school quite easily where as my oldest has virtually no friends. From day one, the oldest says he has nothing in common with the kids(he hunts, loves country music and has a southern accent...true country boy!) He has been made fun of...teased and basically, the boys in his class tell him it is just easy to pick on him because he's him! Today, he told me that he had $20 stolen out of his wallet in P.E. A little over a month ago, he had a pair of Nike Shox stolen out of his locker in P.E. He wants to quit school where as my youngest likes school, attends the activities, has a girlfriend. We are moving after this year to Raleigh, North Carolina and I thought going to a small private school would give them the experience so when we go there that they could try private, Christian or publice. At this point, I don't want to go Christian...these boys call him stupid, hit him, tell him to go kill himself and call him gay(which he is not but that should not matter period!) He says he just tries to be nice, and friendly but seems to be an target for their humor. He is extremely bashful around the girls despite the fact that he is extremely funny(has my husband's wittiness) and very cute. He says that all these kids have had 9 years of school to learn how to deal with the crap kids throw at each other...he hasn't had that experience and his self-confidence is blown. He loves to hunt but all these boys love team sports(which he has absolutely no experience at so they make fun of him for that...) any advice?
  7. DS is quitting scouts. He is going to finish up his remaining 2 merit badges and possibly attempt an Eagle project and then he says he's done. He wants to be out in the next couple of months. Evidently there was some bullying going on at summer camp - I knew some of the story because one of the mothers posted about it on Facebook - and DS has been singled out as the instigator. Last week, during the regular meeting, the leaders had a short discussion with the boys about bullying and said that the complaints that were made were strong enough to have the boy kicked out of scouts. At that time another scout was being named as the perpetrator and no one said anything to me about DS. Evidently this week boys are coming forward and implicating DS. DS admits to saying things that would be considered mean but that nothing he said was anything different than what the other boys were saying and that he was going along with the group. The Scoutmaster wanted to discuss the allegations and talk about DS's behavior. During the discussion I brought up the OA issues and behavioral examples of other scouts. The SM agreed that there are problems with other boys but since no one has complained about them there is nothing he can do. Since there is a parent complaining about DS disciplinary action will be taken. DS says he can't take it any more and wants to quit. He would leave now but I have convinced him to hold on and to try to finish his Eagle. We are registered for a Scouting event this weekend and DS is supposed to complete 3 merit badges. I hope he can find it in himself to go and have a good time. None of the other scouts in his troop wanted to go to this event - they never go to scouting events outside of the troop - and I am hoping DS will find something to keep him motivated. This whole situation breaks my heart. DS loves scouts and has focused much of the last two years on becoming a good/great scout. ETA: during our conversation the SM said that of the four boys who crossed over 3 years ago DS is by far the best scout, has the strongest leadership ability and has the potential to do the best and go the farthest in scouting. He said if he had to rank the boys in the troop based on scouting ability DS would be No. 2. ETA: I was in a hurry when I wrote the OP so I will add this here (it's in a post later on) - DS requested a chance to address the troop last night after he learned of the accusations and the discplinary action. He spoke to the SM and told him what he wanted to say. The SM denied him the opportunity saying it wouldn' do any good. DS is also not allowed to speak to the boy making the accusation, the boy's family or the committee. What are the accusations? Initially, name calling. He called a younger scout a baby and a girl scout; DS admits to this. The boy has since changed his story and is now saying DS hit him and pushed him down; this after the boy initally accussed of hitting was not at last week's meeting. ETA: DH and I are disciplining DS with situation appropriate consequences. DS is learning a lesson, believe me. We are not taking this situation lightly.
  8. Well this 9 year old kid, (used to be my neighbor) always somehow manages to say mean things to my kids. Since they've moved we don't interact much but even when we do (once a month or recent once in three months) she initially plays nice with my kids (6 and 5) but then somehow manages to say something mean or bully them somehow every single time. Well the most recent incident is when as we were leaving she asked my girls if they knew who she likes most and my 6 year old answers her 5 yr old sister and the 9 yr old says yes and I look at my 6 year old and her face just got so small :sad: but then thankfully her mother overheard and for once stepped in and said something in her language (they speak a language I do no understand) and then the 9 yr old says "oh ok I like both of you" SO my concern is what should I do. A part of me thinks that my kids will eventually toughen up and learn how to deal with the world and not let the world walk all over them, but part of me (the part thats scared they might turn out like me which is passive aggressive) needs to know if there is something I can do to not let these things affect them. My girls don't have a lot of friends and the ones that they do are tweens who obviously want to hang out with their age group. So the basic scenario of our social life is that we "need" our friends but our friends don't really "need" us. Am I getting too confusing? My main concern is to just raise strong personalities that dont need validation from others to feel good about themselves. I tend to need that most times so I dont want my girls to turn out like me. If someone wasn't nice to me i'd take it politely but then of course it angers me but I internalize it and spend days or even weeks affected by it. Which I know is ridiculous but thats how I am , sometimes. Anyway , so any advice from you mothers out there? I am trying so hard to socialize and try to join homeschool groups and go on field trips with them so my girls can find a few "friends" but it is very hard.... we just end up making acquaintances not "friends". How do you make friends anymore? It just seemed so easy when I was in college myself but now I sometimes feel I may be lacking some serious social skills to be in this position. We've joined this homeschool group and their activities are sometimes a 45 min ride or even and hour ride away from where we live but I try to make it with my 7 mos old and my two yr old just so my 5 and 6 yr old can be around kids and somehow click but when we get to these trips most times we don't even get a smile from a few of the parents. There is just the moderators of the group who seem nice so I continue to go to these trips with them hoping that eventually people will warm up to us and let us "in". So again am I trying too hard to provide a social life for my kids? Am I doing something wrong? Thanks in advance for reading this long post and replying! :)
  9. The NY Times ran an article yesterday documenting recent research on "bullying" among the popular cliques in middle and high schools and I've written a blog post outlining my take on this in the context of homeschooling: http://www.knittedthoughts.com/2011/02/homeschooling-and-socialization.html I'd love to hear what you think of it and what your experiences have been as homeschoolers when it comes to the "socialization" question. Thanks, Holly
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