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happysmileylady

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happysmileylady last won the day on September 5 2018

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  1. Have you done of the classic card games like euchre or rummy? Have you done spoons?
  2. Me Too! lol OK, so I was NOT keeping proper track of my crap. I had been doing good on not hitting drive thrus and then I fell off the wagon. PLUS....I forgot that the small local place that we ordered pizza from for DD11's birthday party did not take cards. So I had to give them cash from my grocery budget. Which means I have spent $387 (well, give or take the change I just dumped in the change jar) on groceries and eating out, PLUS, another $75 on the pizza, for a total of $462. This leaves me with $338 LEFT, out of the $800. I am hoping I can actually scrap by with that, but if I need to pull the other $75 out of the gifts and celebrations account, I can. I just want to not do that if I don't have to. To that end, a prelim look at my grocery list has me at $95, including turkey stock up......they are down to 33c a pound!
  3. One of my biggest fears for my future life is that my kids will find spending time with our family so abhorrent that they desire to keep my grandkids from spending time with me. It's always understood within our family that work obligations, inlaw obligations, travelling issues, etc etc, are all factors. There's no one in my family that gets bent out of shape when someone has to work on Christmas day, just reschedule. Or when someone has to go to their inlaws because there's no other date the inlaws can use. Or when it's too far to travel, or whatever else. I would never place toxic obligations on my kids to show up without regard for any other obligations. What I fear is that my kids won't want to participate in ANY family celebration...........simply because they do want to spend the holiday with me/us.
  4. Generally speaking, I am all about spending time with beloved family, and consider dealing with the stuff I *don't* like, such as dogs, to be unimportant, because life isn't perfect and my minor discomfort is not as important as maintaining the relationships with people we are close to. But the bolded would have us out the door too. It's one thing to deal with dogs when I don't like them. It's another for my asthmatic DD23 to risk a trip to the ER because someone had to have a cigarette. Asthma, allergies, health issues, those are always more important. No one should have to risk their health for Christmas Dinner.
  5. Well, please don't hate me, but I hate cards. I try to remember to send one to my grandmother, because she *really* likes them, and places a value on the fulfillment of that obligation. But generally, I don't send cards *specifically* because I don't want people to send them to me. If someone that I have a hard time keep in touch with were to send me a personal Christmas letter or personally designed card specifically to communicate with me, I would find that touching.................and then in a month or two, I would still probably pitch it. I just don't keep mountains of cards or letters around. Part of this is how I have always been. But when FIL passed, that really solidified it for me. We had to go through all the papers and dressers and chests and so on. MIL's hope chest was FULL of cards and letters, 95% of them from people we didn't know. SIL kept one card that FIL had sent to MIL decades ago, with a very sweet and heartfelt lovenote, but the other several pounds of cards, we pitched. So, IMO, send the cards to those people that you know will appreciate them. And don't worry about the rest. People who don't appreciate them aren't likely to be upset by not receiving on.
  6. And this is why it's so difficult to have productive discussions some times. Please, once again, point out exactly where I said "some other unspecified thing may be better" Please point out exactly which post you used to determine that I don't/didn't support ANY government funding for working families who need care. I am being honest. Are you being honest about the presumptions you are making vs actually reading what was posted? The words I actually used are that I don't think THIS proposal is a good use of tax payer dollars. That DOES NOT mean I am opposed to any government spending at all. You clearly CHOOSE to believe I am lying, and it's pretty difficult to have a discussion when someone refuses to believe that the opinion someone states they have is the opinion they actually have.
  7. Of course they do. As does this. Never once did I state that I objected to any and all financial costs.
  8. I don't believe I did ever say "something else was better." All I said was that just because something is easier that doesn't mean it's better. That doesn't mean what we have is better, it simply means that just because a proposal might make something easier, that doesn't automatically mean it makes it better. If something doesn't improve (ie make it better) a situation, that doesn't mean the situation as it stands is automatically better than the proposal, it simply means the proposal isn't a better solution.
  9. Yes to all of this. I have no problem discussing any of this. Things like better defining ages that kids are allowed to stay at home. I am totally interested in the idea of school buses dropping kids off at their local dance or gymnastics or martial arts lessons.
  10. No, that's not what you said. Which you then elaborated on with This proposal has school buildings staying open more than hours per day, year round. It has very few guidelines on how the program should be run or how the money should be granted, and I don't think it has any guidelines on where the money comes from. Schools in low income areas already STRUGGLE to even teach kids how to read, and STRUGGLE to even keep kids warm enough, cool enough or safe enough. They struggle to provide books for teachers to teach with. And now, we are supposed to expect that some new federal program meant to provide daycare to kids in those same areas, is supposed to be a great use of taxpayer money and a benefit to kids, this program is somehow going to be better run than the already struggling school system there? It's supposed to help kids more than what is already NOT helping them in those places? And this is supposed to happen WITHOUT requiring more from teachers, AND it doesn't really outline where all that money is supposed to come from. No.......I am not ok with any of that. And I don't have to demonstrate that my preferred model is better in order to think this proposal is a bad idea.
  11. I think the government mucks up most things they attempt to provide. I find most government programs to be terribly run from a financial standpoint and to be terribly bogged down with way too much bureaucracy and paperwork. But.....that is all why I think THIS particular proposal is a bad idea. That doesn't mean I am completely opposed to every single governmental idea, nor doesn't mean that I prefer help be non-existent. I am totally and completely willing to examine individual proposals for what they offer and to form an opinion based of various an assorted proposals offered. The fact that I don't think this one works does not mean I will automatically be against some other proposal that may or may not offer some federal assistance or involvement. It certainly doesn't have to be all or nothing. I don't have to come up with my own proposal or idea to have a valid opinion on a proposal or idea that someone else has presented.
  12. What preferred model? I didn't present one. What I DID say was Why do I think the government will be terrible at it...........because I think the government mucks up most things that they attempt to provide. Why do I think the governement will be terrible at the financial aspect....because I find that most government programs are terribly run from a financial standpoint and terribly bogged down in so much bureaucracy and paperwork. What unintended consequences....well that could be anything. One of the funny things about "unintended consequences" is that they are often unknown before they happen.
  13. Considering that I am a voter in this society, and a taxpayer in this country, yes, I do believe that my opinion actually matters when it comes to the laws that are proposed in this country. Even if that opinion differs from yours or someone elses.
  14. It's not really about what *SHOULD* be harder. It's more or less about what is the net benefit. Are kids, overall, going to benefit from the concept of such a problem. Will society benefit overall from such a problem. Are there things that could be negatives that we aren't thinking about. And is this really how taxpayer dollars spent from a beneficial standpoint. Just because something is *easier* for X or Y or Z....that doesn't mean that it's *better* for A or B or C. And I think it's been shown that in a whole lot of cases, just because something is *easier* that doesn't automatically mean it's *better.* It sucks for a "working family" (and really, what does that even mean....are most families in the US living off of some royal allowance or something? Most families in the US have at least one, and probably two WORKING parents.....so doesn't that mean most families are "working families?) to have to struggle to pay for childcare. I have struggled to pay for child care. I have struggled to simply ARRANGE child care within the times needed to say NOTHING of paying for it. Does this proposal do ANYTHING to handle those people who work overnights? When DH was laid off, I worked 5:30pm, to 5am at an Amazon warehouse. PLUS full time at CVS, and many nights stocking on truck nights which fell on the nights I wasn't at the Amazon warehouse. Has anyone ever tried to find OVERNIGHT care for kids? If you think afterschool care is difficult to find and pay for, try looking for overnight care for 3 kids when you are working OT during Christmas and your spouse has to stay overnight out of state for an interview. Childcare isn't some new struggle for people. It is literally a struggle as old as time. Making this struggle "easier" is a great idea......but that doesn't mean that *THIS* idea of requiring schools to be open and available 10+ hours a day, with government funding and all the rules that come with that, and requiring that schools be open year round, 10+hours a day, while also requiring a whole second staff because teachers aren't required to cover more than they already.....................that's simply not the solution I see as being better. Someone mentioned vouchers....perhaps that's a better solution. Or, perhaps instead of government handling the before and after school care, the government simply refines and/or offers better grants to the groups/charities/companies that provide those things. Maybe it means that laws regarding kids being on their own are better refined (ie more clear age definitions, or maybe we stop placing parents who let their kids play outside run afowl of the law...or maybe it's something else.) Basically, I am not opposed to helping people. I am all for helping people in a way that make things better for all. I simply don't believe that government run daycare through the school setting is the way that will be good for that.
  15. I don't believe that "easier" is always *BETTER* . Whether that's for individuals, parents, families or our society in general.
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