We bought a VW Passat less than a year before the emissions scandal. At first I didn't think much of it despite getting numerous letters from lawyers wondering if we want to get involved in a court case....I like my Passat, we didn't have any plans to sell, I love the fuel mileage, it seats 5 comfortably and I didn't really feel like we needed compensation for anything. Basically, I just ignored the whole thing thinking that it doesn't really affect us. However, we just got a notice in the mail today from Volkswagon with what I thought were incredibly generous settlement terms. In short, if we turn in our car, they will give us $20,000. (At least from what I understand from their website) This is a very tempting offer because since buying the Passat we have added a 6th person to our household so we no longer all fit. Whenever we want to go somewhere as a family, we need to take 2 vehicles. This hasn't been a problem so far because we don't really drive a lot of places together. And hey, teenagers, they like to drive by themselves, anyway. :001_smile: We have 3 vehicles right now....my husband's work truck, my Passat and a beater that we picked up for less than $2000 for our up and coming young people to drive around in. So maybe it would make sense to trade in the Passat and buy what? A van? Ughh. (Sorry to those of you who drive a van :P .) An Expedition or something similar? Horrible fuel mileage. We live a million miles from nowhere and I loved that I could drive my Passat guilt-free. Plus, I would hate to use such a big vehicle for running around. :unsure: Maybe 2 vehicles, both older? A 6 passenger something for the very occasional family trip and then a cheap run around for me. If we went that route, would you sell the beater we now have so as to avoid owning 4 vehicles? We probably do need to buy something that seats the whole family. We have close family that lives 10 hours from us and then my parents (who we try to visit once a year), live 40 hours. So maybe long distance trips 3 or 4 times a year? But it kills me to think of buying an expensive vehicle that we would use so rarely. Another thing to consider is that we might not have our 6th person for too much longer (foster child who may or may not become ours). And then there is the oldest who is 16....how much longer is she going to be with the family? Maybe we should just buy an economy car to replace the Passat and put the rest in savings? Am I over thinking this? Trying to plan too far ahead? WWYD? Specific vehicle recommendations would be greatly appreciated if you have any thoughts.

It's awesome that you had an emergency fund and that your husband is so resourceful. :thumbup:

Oops, I guess that doesn't work. Sorry.

Not sure if this will work and I didn't take a ton of pictures, but here is a link to before/after. Unfortunately, no close-up of before. I wish I would have considering how nice they turned out. https:[email protected]<script data-cfhash='f9e31' type="text/javascript">/* */</script>/?

Not a small thing, but something I am darned proud of..... My kitchen cabinets were painted.....ugly, kept chipping.....we have been throwing around the idea of getting them refaced or replaced altogether. I decided before we do that maybe I should try my hand at refinishing them. So I removed the doors, removed the hardware, bought paint and varnish stripper and went to work. Three weeks later, we have a brand new kitchen. :001_smile: It was so much fun yesterday putting it all back together. DH was gone in the morning and the children and I worked frantically to put all the doors and hardware back on to surprise him when he came home. :001_cool: I did spend a lot on supplies (stripper, stain, varnish, steel wool, sandpaper, etc.) but way less than the alternatives we were kicking around.

Echoing what the others said. My little guy was tested at 9...so a few years older. But still I don't think I used the word test. More like, "hey, you know the struggles we have been having learning to read...we are going to go talk to this guy about it and see if he can give us ideas of how to help you learn" He is very social. So for him it was fun and exciting. Hope it goes well for you. :001_smile:

So I bought a digital textbook through Abeka for ds11 history class. Call me clueless, but I thought digital meant audio. :confused1: ....or at least that it would have the option for text-to-speech. It doesn't. What now? Do I return it or is there any easy app download that can help me out. The Ipad's voice-over feature doesn't work inside the textbook. Thanks

My experience: Bought it......It's been maybe 4 months and I have found less than 10 books that I was looking for. So for me, it wasn't worth it. YMMV, of course. I have had a lot better success with Tales2Go.....much easier interface and even though they don't have nearly the selection, what they have is very good. They also have a free 30 day trial. Maybe something to check into if you haven't yet? Blessings.

Denisemomof4 - that's frightening. I am so grateful that you listened to your instincts and that you kept your boy safe. I spent the day shopping with my DD and we talked about some of this. She said she would have no problem with me doing whatever I need to feel comfortable about the situation. Even quitting if need be. I am glad for that, at least. If we do end up asking her to stop entirely, she will be disappointed, but very understanding. I am sorry that this happened to your daughter, gr8lander. Those in charge should have been more careful. Second chances are all well and good....in many cases.....but I think that for some crimes/behaviours there is no going back. Not saying that God doesn't forgive....I just would always be wary around someone with a history, no matter how repentant the person is. Especially if it involved children. Yes, he would recognize her vehicle, but she isn't going to go there alone anymore. And yes pastor is going to talk to him and also DH. Again, knoxinsox, I am sorry. That seems like such a lame response, but truly I am. Hopefully you have found peace and healing. I come from a very similar background and know exactly what you are talking about. Also, my FIL is in the ministry and I have heard so many stories from him that would attest to what you wrote about the percentage of girls molested in Christian circles. It is heartbreaking and maddening. As a congregation we have talked very openly - not just to the parents, but also to the children- about what is proper and improper behaviour, how to recognize when something isn't right and above all, if something bad happens, never, ever be afraid to talk to someone about it. Evil breeds in the darkness, in silence, in secrets. It is sad to see how often victims are made to feel the shame of others actions.

:iagree: And I read back through the responses (and maybe I missed something, forgive me if I did) but the harshest thing anyone said was that it wouldn't be a bad idea to run a background check on this guy. I don't think that's unreasonable or unloving at all.....just wise.

Just a quick clarification....there doesn't seem to be anything at all wrong with this man. He seems as able-bodied and able-minded as anyone I have ever met. Rather good looking, definitely charming. Just, according to him, a man down on his luck who lost everything through no fault of his own. The agreement made with him by our pastor was that he could live in the cabin rent free for two months...long enough for him to get back on his feet. After that he had to start paying rent or move on. Like I said earlier, I talked to the pastor's wife last night and she said that he will probably not be there much longer. He hasn't made much of an effort to find work. Our pastor is not only a pastor he is also a very well connected, well-respected businessman in town. He could find a job for anyone, but apparently "Steve" keeps not showing up for job interviews. :huh:

I am not going to get involved in the judging/hypocritical/unloving Christian discussion except for to say that I am going to do whatever makes me and my girl feel safe. Beyond that, I will try to show as much love/acceptance/respect to the guy as Jesus would have me do. He is welcome to come over for family dinner or to hang out with my husband, etc But like others have said, just because I am a Christian doesn't mean that I have to throw common sense or caution to the wind. I called the pastor's wife this evening. She said that her husband did check into the guys background and that there was nothing really troubling. The worst thing on his record was a DUI. She also asked me if anyone had cautioned me about DD working at the church house alone and told me to make sure it doesn't happen. She didn't think there was a real worry, but definitely better safe than sorry.

I watched the video that someone posted upthread and didn't see anything like that on the church doors, but I can look again. I tend to agree with gardenmom, though, that at his point locks are no guarantee of safety. I felt uncomfortable with the situation to start with and after reading everyone's thoughts on the situation, I feel even more strongly that I can't let this continue.

No worries....I do not feel like anyone is coming across as harsh. Just concerned, which is sweet and well-intentioned. We are definitely not going to let the situation slide...I am a firm believer in listening to your gut. :001_smile:

There are no administrative offices in the building. Pastor's study is at his home. Clerical work is also done off-site. Two people cleaning would be a good solution, I think. (In conjunction with some of the other measures suggested.) Yes she would have to split the cost, but maybe better than quitting?

Yes, I will. That's what I meant by the last line of the update. I am going to talk to the pastor about the whole situation. The locks and sign would have to go through him, which I don't think - actually, I should say, I know - will be a problem at all. :001_smile:

I guess I was thinking safety in numbers, we both have cell phones and there is good coverage. The pastors house is a quarter mile away. The church is along the main road although admittedly set back quite a ways. We could both carry mace or pepper spray. We are used to doing that (pepper spray) for the threat of bears or other dangerous wild life. Now you have me paranoid.... :tongue_smilie: But, yeah, something to think about.

Garga, that's interesting that you posted that verse. It's been very much on my mind concerning this situation. And one that I use a lot in regards to giving or helping others. It is indeed a balancing act. Hopefully helped along with God's guidance. :001_smile:

Just a quick update - I am at work and don't have the time to reply individually, but thank you all for your input. For those of you who have been hurt in the past by being too trusting, I am sorry and hope you can find healing. I don't think I am naive. I have watched enough crime shows to know the ugliness that is out there. :crying: Even though it has never personally touched my life. Someone mentioned that churches/church people are often taken advantage of. And I realize that. With monetary things, I don't think it matters so much. With my daughters safety, that's a whole different story. We are dealing with the situation and above all I am going to do what I think best protects my daughter, which at this point would be quitting or having me there with her. I honestly didn't think that this guy was dangerous. I have talked with him several times after church and he seems (seemed?) harmless, but I guess you never can know. I would rather be safe. Maybe he is "creepier" than I thought. When I went with her yesterday, he didn't drop by. Although he might have been gone. I asked my husband and he clarified for me that "Steve" is paying minimal rent so he must be making some money somewhere. DD has a very variable schedule. Basically all she needs to do is make sure that the building is clean for Sundays and for Wednesdays and any special events. She sometimes cleans right after services or she waits half a week and cleans right before, depending on what else she has going on. So, he is definitely watching for her and comes over whenever she is there. Which sounds really creepy to me when I see it in writing. Although, he just might hang around the church a lot. His cabin is kinda tiny and he might feel like the church house is "open property." I checked the doors and at this point there is definitely no way to lock them. Although I am sure that can be fixed. But I still would not be really comfortable with her going to and from the building. So, anyhow, thanks for all your input. Like I said, I think we are dealing with things, but it is good to hear everyone's input. I am going to suggest locks on the doors and a sign closed for cleaning...that sounds like a good idea in general even if it is not my DD that is doing the cleaning.

Poppy - see this is what I worry about. Offending or hurting a lonely soul. Putting locks on a building that never had locks on it before - wouldn't if be obvious that they were put there because of him? (Assuming locks were the answer in the first place.) It just seems simpler and kinder (and possibly, safer) to quit the job or try to rearrange my schedule so that I could always be there. ETA - I'm not sure how practical it would be to always accompany her, but I could try it for a few weeks and who knows, maybe he will have moved on by then.

Marbel, believe me, she is not going to be there anymore by herself. Two times before last ds went with her, today I did. My question was is there any way that she can keep this job which she dearly, dearly loves. And I am not sure how the church can put a stop to it....short of kicking him out. Even if they tell him to stop, IF he is a creepy guy would that stop him?

See, I guess I think that if locked doors are required to protect her, then if he is really a creepy guy that the locks wouldn't necessarily stop him. The building has a dozen full length windows easy enough to get into if someone wanted to break a window. I guess I have always thought that locks were kind of useless in actually deterring bad things from happening. So, company or quitting is what I am thinking.

So pretty much the only two choices it would seem would be for someone to go with her all the time or for her to quit. I think I already knew that....just wanted to check with you all if there is something I hadn't thought of.

I don't know. I am assuming that he is looking for a job. I know that he has gone along with some of the guys sometimes on construction. Honestly, though, I really don't know what he is thinking long term.

Yes, the guys from the church have all very much befriended him....but most (all?) guys his age are working during the day.