Wow. Very interesting thread. I consider my son math bright.....doing algebra 1 now as an 8th grader. I didn't realize he was far behind.

She was sick for 4 years. So I am sure he did do a lot of his grieving before she died. I am not fundamentally opposed to it. I just hurt.

So the paperwork has to be done before the marriage? If not it delays permission even further?

Thanks everyone. I friended the new girlfriend on FB just now. I had no idea immigration was such a big deal for a Canadian marrying an American. Wow.

Thank you. His choices are not off the wall.He searched within our religion......and I have no reason to suspect she is not suitable. I am just scared. And feeling motherly.

Thanks everyone. I just can't believe it. I look at pictures of us together, mothering our kids, joking about how they 'love' each other....wondering if we will someday be in laws and then BAM! she is dead and he is moving on. I just can't take it.

It is so surreal. I was not feeling well last night and went to bed early....before 9. This morning my ds casually mentions that 'friend' is moving to Florida. As a side note. Like, oh, I am going to the zoo next week because I have a free pass. Crazy.

I am on line with the grandmother tonight. I will be supportive and encouraging. I know it could be so much worse. I am grateful for what I have with this child.

Sob. Yes. I am in tears tonight. She skypes my son. a day or more later he 'mentions' it. It is heartbreaking to me.

I just don't know how to even talk to any of them. I don't wish the father to be alone and lonely.........but I want my girl to stay close by! I am scared and sad.

How does one survive that?

I am about to have a heart attack. He has met someone on line....they are considering relocating.....him from AR her from Canada....to Florida.

Yes....there is no animosity between grandmother and father....but this is hard.

He is re marrying and moving out of state.

She told my son she is scared.

How does a grandmother survive her daughters death and then her granddaughter taken away?

So now. Barely 5 months into this grief.....he has found someone. I am not surprised. But my heart aches. I am on chat with my friend's mom now.....sobbing because it seems so hard even though I am not surprised.

I know that all sorts of bad fathers exist. I also know that all sorts of bad mothers exist. Like the one who is the mother of my dhs boys. She has poisoned the oldest against my dh ...the details are unbelievable. A man who doesn't really want to be a father but agrees to invertro......and then bonds with the baby and wants to be dad.....yeah he might not be on my list of most morally upright but he definitely shouldn't be booted to the curb. I think booted to the curb should be reserved for drug addicts, child molesters and wife/child beaters.

Did you show them the parody? They will probably love it.

I know....so unlike her usual style.

I agree you can't believe half of what you read. But I know this stuff happens day in and day out.

Did you see the YouTube video of the little boy who was crying in the car while the song was playing? It went viral and Rachael Ray had him and his parents on her show today along with Great Big World.

I would too. But that doesn't give a woman the right to keep a father from his child. It is damaging to the child.

Yes I am aware that is what the law is about. And I know that is what she is using to keep him from their child. But they had a relationship, he was involved at some point in his child's life and so other than the technicality of it, I don't see this as a sperm donor case.

He wouldn't be the first man to not feel ready to be a father. However he clearly DID step up and became involved in the boys life. And he IS the father. I don't get a woman who actively continues to reject his efforts.