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Everything posted by Scarlett

  1. I think it needs to be discussed more often than every few years.
  2. My evidence uncovered many many things that ds will never know about from me. But I absolutely believe my son had the right to know the general reason we were destroying his family...an affair. And if I had not foolishly left that file there he would never have known about the porn....but he saw it....and I think he needed some explanation reassurance that I wasn't viewing porn. Or my dh.
  3. Correction....no porn in the home when ds is there.
  4. Constantly was an exaggeration. Not anywhere constantly. But it is a huge problem and I do keep lines of communication open with him.
  5. Well, it isn't actual porn....just a file of the evidence....and no, my xh won't be opening that can of worms. But is gone now, so problem solved.
  6. Lol. Good question. 4 years ago ds NEVER got on my computer and wouldn't have known how to go find files if he did. And just for clarification there were no actual images in the folder. Only links to the pages my x had visited... Butthe words in the links are sick enough I wouldn't want ds to see. Much worse than 'naked girl' if you know what I mean. I did speak to my son today and told him that folder was part of what I discovered when I put a keylogger on his dads computer back when I found out about the affair. And that my lawyer has it all and I should have deleted that
  7. He does still ask for details. And he a very curious boy. He is like me in that way. My mom never kept secrets from me.....ever. I have found although sometimes kids hear more than they should have to know the truth is generally the best choice.
  8. RC I do see your point. However I want to add a few details that might change your opinion.....his dad and I have been divorced for almost 4 years....separated for over 4. I had a clause put in our custody agreement that specifically addressed porn...that none was to be in the house of either parent and that our son was not allowed access to any computer that had accessed porn. I then told ds of that clause and told him he is to let me know if he EVER runs across that at his dads house. Our divorce was very difficult on us, but my xh and I now have a very good relationship now. He brok
  9. My son has in the past begged me for details of how I caught his dad. I have told him that is information he doesn't need to know. I told him at the beginning that I was divorcing his dad because his dad was having an affair. Apparently some people think THAT is more than a 9 year old needs to know. I don't regret what I've told him but I lean toward giving too much info...so I am trying to reel myself in. My mom agrees with you Audrey. That I should tell him. Because she doesn't think ds will let it go. We had lunch with my parents last week and he told them he found porn on my comp
  10. I discovered things about my now xh that led to me divorcing him by a key logger I installed on his computer. I had A LOT of evidence. It was enough that I got sole custody and a visitation arrangement that I wanted. All of that evidence is in the hands of my attorney. However I carelessly left copies on my computer. My son is now 13. Huge into Minecraft.....well the other day he was on my computer looking for some Minecraft files. He says, mom why do you have a folder named Porn? Well I told him it was not porn...and it wasn't me looking at porn and that was all he needed to know
  11. I absolutely think it is an important element. But as you say things happen that make it impossible and although the absense of teA may be difficult for one or both, hinging marital happiness on nothing else is a bit naive. And yes, I was in a 26 year long marriage, where plenty of teA happened to the very end, but it wasn't enough.
  12. My parents both call a harness a horness. Makes me laugh every time. My dad says coner instead of corner.
  13. Paid cash. I would not buy a house if my payment was more than 25 % of our net income or longer than 15 years. I hope to never have a mortgage again.
  14. Well, I was married 26 years the first time.....2 1/2 this marriage. So my thoughts may not be welcome. But I think it is very important to be kind to each other and that includes in your conversations about your spouse.
  15. Scarlett


    It reminded me that MY chiropractor told my cousin I was trying to get pregnant. And cousin told my mom. Yeah, I was NOT happy......but I reminded him he only knew about that because he was my DOCTOR doing x-rays on me.
  16. Scarlett


    Yes.....I got all of that. There was so little information in your post there wasn't much to reply to. Thus, BBT came to mind.
  17. Scarlett


    This thread is reminding me of Sheldon telling Penny he knows she has a thing for him because (among other things) she always calls him 'sweetie'. She says, "I call everyone Sweetie." He says, 'You Tramp!" Ha ha. I love that show. Can't imagine being offended by being called Sweetie or Honey...so I really have nothing to offer except a few lines from BBT.
  18. I remember the days of being separated and waiting for my divorce to be final. I went through everything....one step at a time. When I finally had to move to a new place it was much easier. Would have been harder if I hadn't been making small changes all along.
  19. I think I will reach out to both of them....I found the fiancé on fb and I have the xws address. Thanks all.
  20. A few months back I heard they had divorced two years ago. The talk was it was his fault....an affair. I don't know that for sure.....
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