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Scarlett

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Posts posted by Scarlett

  1. 2 minutes ago, DawnM said:

    Ok, just called the HOA.....apparently it is a city ordinance and in the bylaws, we cannot have a 2nd dwelling on our property.   I will look through the documents tonight about parking a trailer or wheeled vacation type home on the property.

    But it looks like we are going to have to make it work inside the home.

    I am reading a lot about how popular multi-generational dwellings are though and so it might be a really good thing for resale.

    The really nice part about that room is that if we were to eventually let a kid use it, the ceiling height would allow for a nice loft area, hwich would create a bedroom.

    I think you can really make it a nice space for your dad with some creative thinking. Somebody like my dh could figure out the best plan without breaking the bank I think.  Not every contractor is good at that sort of thing.  I would just keep thinking and brainstorming.  

    • Like 2
  2. 2 hours ago, Jean in Newcastle said:

    They have rejected following God to instead follow the political leader(s) of their choice.  Which has an added level of irony since Jesus Christ specifically rejected becoming a political leader in His time and instead chose to willingly go to the cross to pay the penalty for people's sins - thus paving the way for us to be in His eternal kingdom, not an earthly one.  They are dangerously ignorant Christians at best, and not really followers of Christ at the worst.  (Based on what the Bible says identifies a follower of Christ.)

    I can’t even believe some of the things that are coming out of some people’s mouths.  This weekend I was chatting via text with an old friend.  We worked together in my life before ds almost 21 was born.  So I quit there 21 years ago.  We stay in touch.  We are FB friends. I never even knew her to be political although I did think she was religious.  I have seen a shift since 2016 and I hear all politics out of her and very little religion,,

    So in our conversation I was asking her if she was thinking of retiring, if she had a plan, etc.  that led to a discussion about social security.....I told her until I went back to work a few years back I did not have enough credits because I had been out of the work force so long. She suddenly said, ‘sad you wouldn’t be eligible for ss but-an illegal can collect’.  
     

    I mean what the heck. All I said was, ‘I don’t think someone who is here illegally can collect social security’.   I quickly moved the conversation on to something else but wow I felt like I was talking to a stranger.  
     

    This is what things have come to.  She is not a close person to me....I can not talk to her and things are fine......but if she was my sister or my MIL.....,wow.  How do you keep up relationships with people who believe stuff like that??

    • Like 4
  3. 1 hour ago, prairiewindmomma said:

    I'm still hung up on why he thought it was the attorneys that trashed the bathroom, and not clients who came in, or staff, or a dude before him, since apparently he was a guy in a mixed gender restroom.

    Or why he thought people who bill out at $200/hr should be mopping the floors, instead the housekeeping crew.  Dude, I could work for an hour, and pay someone else to clean for 8, iykwim. 

    Sorry, Quill, I've worked for a lot of sexist and racist old white men, and it doesn't make life easy in the office.

     

    I don’t think he thought the lawyers should be cleaning.  I think he thinks they should require better for their bathrooms. 

     And frankly I agree.  

  4. 1 hour ago, Quill said:

    Interesting...I would not think that at all. For me, the answer to, “Wouldn’t you think an all-female firm would keep their bathrooms tidy?” is a puzzled, “No...” I know men who keep fastidious bathrooms and women who are slobs. To me it has nothing to do with gender; it has to do with whether the person is fastidious or not. 

    Out of my three children, the one who likes things neat and orderly the most is male. My dd is on the messy side and is marrying someone who likes order a lot. 

    Yes, but statistically men who have a men’s only bathroom will not be as careful about it as they are if a female is going to follow them into it.  A former boss once told me cleanliness of a bathroom is an indication of how well the company is managed.  He would be about 67 by now so probably a similar age to your boss.  Maybe it is a generational belief.  And maybe it is true.  

    • Like 1
  5. 7 hours ago, Quill said:

    He definitely wants familiarity; I can assume that from him asking me to call him by his casual first name. 
    I am thinking about your second question...I think the answer is No, but I do get a strong vibe of gender stereotyping from him. For example, he was talking about an all-female firm where he said, “The bathroom was filthy...wouldn’t you think a firm full of females would keep the bathrooms clean?” And other similar things. He also tried out some racial stereotyping on me early on but I shut it down. We had a pretty significant argument over that. 

    I think it is a good question.   LOL  Don't women typically insist on a cleaner bathroom?  Or were you thinking he was implying they should have been cleaning the bathrooms themselves?

    It is a statistical fact that when men share a bathroom with women they are more careful.  

     

    • Like 1
  6. 19 minutes ago, perky said:

    Can you put a long ramp on the left side of the room from the doorway?  I say long so it meets ADA suggested slope.  

    I agree with the person that said to do something right next to your current laundry room and bar, taking advantage of the plumbing and electrical there but just adding some walls  to create the spaces that meet your needs.  Like his laundry room/bathroom could be right next to your laundry room and also extend to the bar area.  

    I don't know if this is the same everywhere but dh says one long ramp won't work because it is too far up.  Has to zig zag.  And Dawn has already said a ramp would be too loud.  

     

    • Like 1
  7. 22 minutes ago, saraha said:

    For no apparent reason is reasonable, it's the sheer number of times a day it is used 😆

    "She's drawn down pretty lively, but she'll be allright" is apparently Appalachian for "she's been to weak to get off the couch for a week now, but she'll recover ok." I've heard dh and his dad talk about sick/weak cows being "drawn down", or if really bad "drawn down pretty lively" but never heard him say it about a person before! 😆😆

    I definitely learned something new.  I love sayings.  

    • Like 1
  8. 6 hours ago, saraha said:

    I just heard my dh say to his dad on the phone in response to asking how I was dealing with Covid "Aww, she's drawn down pretty lively, but she'll be allright" I know what he means but it literally makes no sense.

    I have one daughter who to this day says "No apparent reason" like it is all one word. Like, she hit me for no apparent reason, or I tripped over that thing for no apparent reason. My youngest says it occasionally too.

     

    What does it mean?

     

    For no apparent reason sounds perfectly reasonable to me.  🤷🏻‍♀️

  9. 1 hour ago, Terabith said:

    Okay, while I agree that sister is out of line excluding your daughter from family events, and that you should protect your daughter, I don't agree that sister should only come if she is up to being joyful the whole time.  That's an unreasonable expectation, and it's not good for your sister to hide herself away from society and family until she can be joyful for extended periods, which could be literally YEARS.  I see a huge difference between skipping a church baby shower and family get togethers.  Family means nobody gets left behind, as we learned from Lilo and Stitch.  Your sister doesn't get left behind because of her grief.  Your daughter doesn't get excluded either.  

    If it's too painful for your sister to see your daughter, then your whole family stays home.  

    This.  I have not lost a child to death but I have had loss that has literally knocked my to my knees for years. All I have ever known to do is to keep swimming.  Eventually I have learned, the pain dims and joy returns.  

    • Like 1
    • Thanks 1
  10. 1 hour ago, kirstenhill said:

    We have the ikea style bed slats in a wood frame that was originally designed to be a waterbed frame, I think? We currently have a Purple brand mattress on it, and it's always worked well for us.  I feel like exercise is a bit noisy due to the bed frame itself creaking, but I don't think that's the fault of the slats.

    Our platform bed is not squeaky. 

  11. 32 minutes ago, DawnM said:

     

    We had a couple of contractors come in, that is where we got the $37,000 quote for changing the kitchen area into a bathroom.   I think the only way to make it a truly independent space is to add on to the outside of the house (adding the bathroom as an addition), but that will be very costly.

    More than 37k?

    I don’t know what your dads money situation is but that might be money well spent.....don’t your have a son who might never be fully independent?

  12. 28 minutes ago, LinRTX said:

    Today is my son's 35th birthday. My oldest and only boy. He died 3 1/2 years ago, suddenly. I could not imagine excluding family members from any event because they made me uncomfortable and brought up memories.

    And believe me there was quite a bit happening the first year after his death.

    My daughter had our first grandchild just 19 days later. I was in the delivery room even though it hit hard that my first had just died and I sobbed as I held that baby, not with joy, but with grief.

    My oldest got married 10 months later. Stephen's picture was displayed on the seat next to me so he could be a part of the wedding. That was hard. It was hard turning from lighting the unity candle to see a picture of my son.

    My youngest graduated from high school one day before the one year anniversary of his death. He was my first home school graduate. She, my last. His absence was definitely felt.

    But through it all I grieved and celebrated. We all grieve, but we cannot exclude others from the life that goes on. 

    I am so sorry for your loss.  ((((LinRTX)))))

    • Like 1
  13. Dss19 had the same bed but an 8 inch mattress and he experienced terrible back pain....he switched back to a traditional bed frame with mattress and box springs.  I think it was a combination of his bad back, being a stomach sleeper and the mattress not being as good.  
     

    Dh has a double fusion in his spine and a double in his neck and another in his back bulging......and he likes our set up fine.  

    • Like 1
  14. 29 minutes ago, Quill said:

    Instead of box spring & mattress? Are you happy with it? Does it have the proper “give” when you are...ahem...exercising? And what brand of mattress is good for a platform bed? 

    We do.  We like it.  We have a memory foam mattress......it was about $1000 at Mathis.  And the bed was about $150 from Amazon....we added a headboard later.  I love it.   And exercising is fine.  

    • Thanks 1
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