That is true, but we would move with him if he got the job there. Even if it was only for a year.

We are in a flux situation with DH's job and are facing a complicated issue. There are 3 options - one requires moving quite a bit away (half way across the country) from family, friends, and our church. We're actively attempting to avoid this option. The problem is, DH is a certified teacher, which is his "out" from the first option. He's applied to a bunch of school districts and has made it through the primary screening interview with several, so we are hopeful that by the end of May he'll have a position somewhere. Option 2 is our preferred option - getting a teaching job within about an hour radius of family and church so we can stay local (housing is currently temporary so we will move somewhere in the middle between the job and church/family in this situation). We have no guarantees of this working out, but have had several screening interviews at schools within that hour radius and are just waiting for principal interviews, hopefully sometime in May. option 3: There's a school district about 3-4 hours away that he applied to and they look like they are probably going to start the interview process a week or 3 ahead of some of the closer schools. This would mean leaving a church we really love and being too far from family to hop over for dinner. Although they do pay better. DH got an email yesterday inviting him to a networking event where the principals with openings will be at in the far away district. There are 2 events and DH wants to go to the latest one possible to allow other closer districts to have a chance to call him for an interview first. But we have not had full time income for the entire winter and are hurting for a job and I'm afraid it will hurt his chances to not take the first opportunity they offer (next week). That said, I get really emotional thinking about having to leave our church and totally understand the desire to allow closer districts to interview him first. We just don't have any guarantee that anyone else will even call for an interview, so I it's really frustrating trying to decide what's best. If we knew that there wouldn't be another offer, we'd obviously take the far away district, but if we just knew there'd be an offer somewhere close, we'd not even bother with the further district at all. what to do... what to do... :confused1: :unsure: :sad:

If you ask at the schools and they tell you no, I'd be sure to ask for the specific law saying that you cannot - I've heard of stories where parents are bullied about wanting to opt out and told they cannot when in fact the law allows it. Not sure where you'd find the exact law yourself.

I have no idea how the personal issues may be playing into things, but I have sold a house with a less than stellar realtor before. She gave us feedback after showings, but NOTHING if nothing was happening. Nothing. It was very frustrating. We contacted her when we wouldn't hear for a week and she'd say basically the same thing: "nothing much happening right now, I'll let you know when something changes". By the time we finally did sell I think the realtor was more relieved than we were because it meant I'd stop pestering her. She was just very laid back and didn't pursue anything. No advice except that we learned that we will ensure the next time we sell a house we inform the realtor from the start that we expect regular updates on a predetermined schedule, with detailed plans on how to change the plan if interest wanes.

Yes I realize that I need more evaluations, this was a first step. we've already had a speech and language assessment too, actually, which was normal. (or average? on target? however they say that he is not delayed in speech/communication) I'm pretty sure the Occupational therapist is next up.

He turned 4 in January

We're finally getting the first steps in getting help for my son. We have filled out a sensory processing disorder checklist, had a physical, and a basic developmental screening as part of the physical. We are making dietary changes and a few other small things to start. We are waiting for word on the next steps to take. One thing the Dr. mentioned was that there "are some delays". This was after he failed to adequately draw a stick figure. (he drew a head, 3 randomly placed shapes for eyes and nose, and an arm was sticking out where an ear should have been) I know the delays cannot be in gross motor skills based on the conversation. I had a LOT to process during the appointment and never remembered to ask specifically what delays she saw. What do you think the drawing of a stick figure indicates regarding development? Can someone point me in the right direction as I research some of this on my own? Thanks!!

Yes, this might be what has to happen. That said I haven't given her a chance yet, I'm only going on previous experience. A careful talking to from my husband might actually work, I should give it a chance anyway. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

big enough for a visit! Only it's pretty far from the jobs that my husband is applying to... and we'd need passports... and plane tickets... lol

I get your point with self-assertiveness. And yes, I do have the problem of attempting to always convince people of my opinion. BUT, I cannot allow this to be something that I have to keep asserting. Once and done, or it won't be a valid diet change. I like the idea of putting together a bag of "treats" the ones that look like treats too but are safe to eat. and in the end I may just have to always be present to prevent issues.

I may need another instant pot!

I have been completely gluten free for 5 years. I am a bit OCD about it around my MIL. So like I said, the diet changes aren't a huge change for me. A few things to tweak and that's it. No big deal. I have to focus on raising the kids to understand that we eat to live, and that treats have their place but only those that are safe for our individual bodies. (you should have seen the fit I threw in the grocery store about how many brands of canned beans have added sugar! canned beans was my one time saving vice! I think my husband was a bit embarrassed.) :leaving:

sorry, I was confusing - she has NOT studied nutrition. She works as a supervisor in an inpatient hospital facility for elderly people. She is in charge of ensuring state mandated combinations of vegetables, meats, etc. are served to the patients and everything is prepackaged and premixed, etc. I don't think fresh vegetables or fruits even enter the kitchen. I don't suffer migraines so I will not continue to judge based on those - she prefers those drugs you reference, though, to trying to figure out her triggers and avoid them. (my brother kept a food log and figured out how to avoid his migraines altogether, but again, I don't know a lot about it so I could be WAY off base there,I apologize for that!) But yes, in the end, I realize i need to use honey, which is I suppose the point of this post - someplace to vent rather than explode on her! And I know she loves the kids, I need to focus on that.

We are not living with them - we share one meal a week together, usually. They do get to go over and play daily, though, and they are always offered snacks and treats when they walk through the door. It's not a babysitting thing - we are living in our camper in their backyard. They've told us the kids are welcome to pop in daily but I restrict that a LOT. Technically it doesn't matter what Grandma thinks about bedtime routine except that it prevents them from visiting as long as grandma would like in the evenings, since we are temporarily living here. Grandma would also love to have the kids sleep over all the time but I won't allow it because she doesn't put them to bed and I have to deal with a cranky child the next day. Believe me, there are a lot of restrictions I've put in place, and more will be coming as the week progresses and we get the diet changes firm. I realize grandma won't probably change - she's proven in another area of her life that she is completely un-trust worthy, although the safety of our children has never been in question. I guess a shift in my thinking is in order... prayers for a job and the ability to move away quickly would be much appreciated!!!!!!!

I love your suggestions, thank you! I told my husband I wanted to tell approach it like this: "I know you love your grandchildren very much - I love my children more than anything and I only want them to be healthy and happy. Since the Dr. told us we need to try this for their health, I'm willing to do anything it takes, including things that seem hard, for them to be as healthy as possible. Since I know you love them so much too, I'm sure you'll agree that making hard changes is worth it for their health!" which I suppose is better than me saying "why can't you just respect our parenting choices!!!!!!!" :lol:

That's an awesome concept. I totally get it. And yet not this grandma. This grandma insists that eczema is "normal" and doesn't bother talking to her dr. about the fact that she has a minimum of 2 migraines per week. sometimes twice that. This grandma does not agree with dietary changes because disallowing "normal" food is not healthy for children. She works in dietary services and so she feels she knows more about food and nutrition than our drs do.

two are old enough to decline and one has already begun to do so. One has some pretty severe behavior issues that we will be addressing with dietary changes (and who knows what else the dr. recommends, will find out Thursday) so I anticipate some pretty hard push back from him at first that will include lots of tears and attempts to get forbidden food from grandma, so I will NEED her to be accepting of the changes.. The fourth is too young to care or notice at just shy of 2 years old. No issues for him either, so he'll just be along for the ride, so to speak, instead of requiring the diet changes. We might just have to not allow them over unsupervised. As annoying as that is. It's our only option at the moment - in 2 months we will be only here on the weekends based on anticipated summer job opportunity and then starting in the fall we will NOT be here no matter what job options come up. I only agreed to this arrangement providing there would be a way out by Sept. 1 at the latest no matter what. My mom lives on her boat and is in the Bahamas right now. :(

I know that preserving relationships with relatives who are disrespectful of parenting choices is a controversial topic on these boards, and honestly, I've had many heated conversations with my husband about it (regarding his parents). But I need to preserve this relationship because of some life circumstances at the moment. So we are looking at grandparents who eat a standard american diet, have multiple health issues (minor ones like chronic migraines and serious ones like kidney disease due to uncontrolled diabetes.) and don't make dietary and lifestyle changes required by dr's. (eat fast food more than at home...) Our kids are generally healthy by their standards and any concern I've ever brought up has been dismissed outright as my being overprotective and ridiculous. I've taken our eldest to a new dr. and the other 3 go on Thursday and we've already got a list of changes to make for number one, and I guarantee more changes are coming after the next apt. My goal as the parent is to ensure my kids are OPTIMALLY healthy. (sorry but frequent complaints of stomach aches are NOT indications of a healthy child, even if she can run and play "like normal" in spite of the stomach ache.) We have already gotten push back from grandma and I anticipate much more when she finds out the extent of the diet changes. Examples of push back: we are not to allow any screen time (including kindle) for at least 1 hour before bedtime to help DD fall asleep easier. Grandma's response "didn't you ask if a later bedtime would help?" When we told grandma the Dr is concerned about the chronic/extreme congestion/inflammation in DD's body, and that we have to make several dietary changes to help, she challenged: "I've been fighting a tiny bit of a cold, don't you think she's probably just fighting a cold too?" Basically grandma is going to argue with everything she disagrees with regardless of what the Dr. says. (my mom on the other hand immediately asked me "is plain yogurt ok and please tell me anything else that would be good to keep on hand") Among the changes we have to eliminate all gluten, milk, and sugar other than fruits and tiny amounts of natural sweeteners like honey. This means changing our standard pb&J lunch on gluten bread, switching to almond milk instead of cow milk in cereal, and that's about it. That said, it means huge changes in what Grandma can give them, because no matter what we say or how we approach it, she still constantly offers chocolate milk, fruit punch, candy, desserts, etc. DAILY at her house and only limit it when my husband says something and then it's only 1 cup each instead of unlimited supplies. Believe me when I say I've had huge arguments with my husband over this issue and I'm really close to giving grandma a serious tongue thrashing. :banghead: But we can't walk away. We can't stop going over. and we can't ruin the relationship by my giving that tongue lashing because we are living in their yard at the moment while DH looks for fulltime work. But we are going to have to put our foot down, and grandma is going to HAVE to get on board with the program or there will be serious mother bear issues here. :glare:

Lol this! We love good will book shopping! I'm pretty sure I've bought 2-3 times as many books as clothing items in the past year! Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

wow congrats on losing all that weight!

My husband told me last night that he read an article at work that the average American purchases something like 63 items of clothing per year. (not the average american family - the average individual) I tried to think back over the past year - and even if I count the clothes that I was given for Christmas (that I subsequently returned because nothing fit/looked good on me - wish my MIL would stop buying me clothes!), I barely break 20! I got 2 pairs of comfy pants, 2 skirts, 2 dresses, a pair of jeans, probably 3 warm shirts, maybe 4 summer shirts, a pair of leggings to go with one dress, a scarf, 3 "workout" shirts, and 1 new bra. I returned the three sweaters I got for Christmas. That's a total of 23. Even if I inflate that for items I may have forgotten I wouldn't break 30 items! I added to every category of clothing in my wardrobe and didn't even come close to the "average" number of new items! And I have gotten rid of a bag of clothes in the meantime that don't fit/were ripped or whatever. Do you think that 63 is high or is it just me?

I tend to agree with this - when my SIL got a home last year she was so excited to paint/decorate... and she did everything in varying shades of gray. It's not my preferred color for sure, nor are all the nicknacks that are "decorative" and just take up space and give me one more thing to keep my kids away from!!

This morning everyone was tired and cranky - and they all got up early. We had no where to go and nothing to do so it was lazy but both boys had been up several times overnight and it disturbed the girls sleep too. In general, one boy wakes cranky almost every morning and I have to work to protect his space while he wakes up. I love your milk/cereal idea, btw! But yes, we are not living in ideal circumstances right now, so my fuse is shorter than maybe should be typical for me. I tend to feel tired all the time right now, which I'm sure is my response to environmental stress. I work on it really hard because the more stressed I act, the more the kids act up. I guess my eldest (who just turned 9) is ending up at the brunt of it most of the time. The irony of this mornings cereal issue is that after throwing a fit over not wanting the cereal, he ended up eating almost all of it.

I see you're point, I need to think about it more to see if that could be part of it. Much of my negative words to her involve her siblings or her school work. She likes being in charge of play and regularly causes fights when she tries to join into play with siblings. I'm constantly telling her she's not in charge and that she can't control how her brothers and sister play. I've talked to her ot about it when we had the money to do that, and she said it was an anxiety thing. She wants to know exactly what to expect from play. So we work on it with lots of sensory integration. Today is a hard day because she's really tired. I role play with her a lot to try to teach her how to play more open ended and respond to different types of scenarios. School issues tend to be when she doesn't think. I will know that she knows something but she will give a stupid answer because she didn't pay attention and think about it. When I call her attention to it she will say, oh right, and give the right answer. And believe me we take lots of breaks and structure school around her sensory needs based on work we did with the OT. I just get fed up with it more quickly than I should. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk