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mamashark

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Everything posted by mamashark

  1. My gut says the majority is sensory overload. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  2. Not until August. I've got an OT contact and a behavioral therapist contact scheduled for an informal chat this week though. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  3. Yes! You are so right about the picky eating ! Only, Her method of dealing with picky eating was to serve the same 3 foods he would eat for every meal. I am actively working to figure out which foods he can tolerate and why and ensure he gets adequate nutrition in the meantime. Mil thinks the possibility of a nutritional deficiency is ridiculous... Her words not mine. She feels I'm creating problems by working on this. But she Also feels eczema isn't a problem for a child to deal with, even if you know a food causes it... If it were up to her, she wouldn't remove the food and just treat the eczema with creams. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  4. Lol, I really wanted to just turn around and leave without saying anything. Let her draw her own conclusions. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  5. My mother-in-law is one of those types who has strong opinions and tries to share them "out of kindness" and I was on the receiving end of a 30 minute "good conversation" (ie lecture) yesterday about my parenting and issues with my son. My son, for background, has increasing behavior issues and turned 4 in January. I've been receiving advice on the LC board and our pediatrician, and the current consensus is that we need a good behavioral assessment. In the meantime we've been working though diet changes and adding OT into our day. His behavior is explosive and unpredictable and becoming more extreme and while most of the time he's sweet and nice, when he decides to throw a fit, it's uncontrollable. Add to that extreme picking eating, sensory defensiveness, sleep problems, and extreme difficulty separating from me in familiar places (like at Church). In fact, the pediatrician didn't even give him any vaccines at his last apt. even though he's behind, she was concerned about toxic buildup in his body due to this behavioral problems. Grandma sees him throwing fits at her house but doesn't see the explosive fit that lasts the entire shopping trip at the store, or the struggle at church to go into class. She doesn't lose sleep over and over again because he's waking her up at night more nights a week than not. (rather, she's upset because we won't allow him to sleep over at her house like we do the girls) To her credit - her youngest (of 2 children - I married her eldest) gave her behavior problems and was an extremely picky eater. He is now grown and married with a job. "turned out just fine" in her words. Yesterday I made the immense mistake of mentioning that I was mentally maxed out because of trying to sort through all the recommendations by the ped., etc. over my sons behavior. She asked for more info in a friendly way and this is the first time I think she's ever shown interest in ME, so I took the bait. The following 30 minutes included her telling me that he is a "Normal 4 year old boy" and that "picky eating is not a problem, just look at her other son who is a healthy adult now in spite of his picky eating" and that "I wish you would just listen to others for once" and that she has "already raised her children" and thus knows better, and that the behavior is "normal." I challenged her because she's literally the only one telling me his behavior is normal and she's telling me to listen to others, so which others should I listen to? The ONE who is telling me he's normal or the REST who are telling me he's not? She was very very very upset with the idea of having him "labeled" and did NOT want me to pursue evaluations. She told me she's seen me "work with him when he throws a fit and if you would just walk away and let him throw the fit he would learn to stop" and "have you tried paddling?". Yes, yes I tried spanking him. Actually it was DH who tried that. He became violent in a hurry. That method of discipline is off the table. She indicated that I'm causing his behavior to be worse and that I'm borrowing trouble by assuming its not normal. She doesn't care what the behaviorist says, she doesn't care what the pediatrician says, she doesn't care what the OT says. She thinks it's acceptable for him to scream his way through the entire grocery store for 20 minutes because I told him no and he knows he can't get what he wanted. He's 4, not 2. This isn't the first issue we have had with her either. Bedtime is "too early" and removing gluten from our DD2's diet because it definitively causes her eczema is just "wrong" and trying to cut back on sugar is "a shame for kids" and removing milk from our son's diet since he loves it so much is "cruel". I'm "over protective" (because of carseat rules - yes my 6 year old is still in a 5 point harness and my not-quite-2 year old is still rear facing...) and I'm not reasonable because I won't take my kids to her church (we LOVE our church). Oh and homeschooling is dangerous. She also thinks our eldest (gifted DD) is behind in school because I'm homeschooling and we spend a lot of time outside/playing. This is probably worsened by the fact that DD2 has dyslexia and struggling to learn to read as a 6 year old. And there is more, but I won't continue... I can't afford to ruin this relationship (yet - we are living in our camper in their yard right now while DH looks for a fulltime job) but believe me come summer the chips will fall and I won't be able to stand there smiling at her even though I'm raging so badly inside that I literally cannot see straight. I was so mad when I left that I went home and browned a half-frozen pound of ground beef in a short few minutes, chopping it into little frozen bits until my hand had cramped up so badly without my noticing that I had to pry my fingers off the spatula when I was finished. And all this happened after a wonderful morning at Church where I received a ton of support and love from friends.
  6. We have insurance coverage through a health sharing plan that does not have much "mental health" type coverages. I'll have to call to see what they will cover exactly. -edited for privacy- My frustration with getting on that waiting list isn't the potential label, it's the not treating or doing anything for all that time. Is that really my best/only option??
  7. I know many of you have pressed me to get my son (4 years old this past January) formally evaluated several times and I do have a message into the pediatrician about his behavior and my concerns about waiting until next month to follow up on the diet/OT stuff we've been doing. Today I carried him around Aldi's while he cried at the top of his lungs and refusing to walk because I said no to a lunchable. (thankful for sympathetic fellow shoppers) Then a switch flipped and he was giving kisses (to make me happy) and speaking pleasantly by the time we got to the register to pay. I avoid going out with all 4 kids without my husband because his unpredictable behavior can become a huge issue for me to manage by myself. So thinking through this - I've been depending on a pediatrician so far, but if I ditched the conventions of medical hierarchy, who do I go to? What test/evaluation would give me the most bang for my buck? And what will a label give me other than arrows to interventions? Can I not start with the interventions? I realize that his behavior is indicating that he doesn't feel comfortable in his body for some reason - whether physically or mentally. I also realize that if he was happy and felt "good" that he would not act this way. So how do I help him today? what can I do NOW to help him feel better? I also realize that whoever I go to for evaluations/interventions will only give me a piece of the puzzle based on their experiences/trainings, etc., so how do I know which interventions would actually be best? OT's look through one lens while a nutritionist would look through a different lens, etc. The last time we went to a psych (for older daughter, diagnosed with adhd at the time and my other concerns were blown off) we got a diagnosis and the dr. prescribed medication with a strong warning against trying any alternative therapies. I accepted that for a year before I started looking for alternatives but I am skittish about psych's because of that experience. In fact, this was the same Dr. who told me my son was exhibiting "normal" behavior. My husband is currently without fulltime income (we're staying with family for the short term while he substitute teaches and looks for a teacher position starting in the fall) and we don't have traditional insurance. I cannot use state services at this time because we are only visiting at the moment - we are hoping to get a fulltime job here, then become residents, otherwise we'll be continuing to travel with a different job, so we can't officially "move" here yet. (sorry for the complicated explanation) So hopefully come fall things will be in a very different financial position, but I have to work with what I have at the moment. So now, those of you looking back from the other side of evaluations, therapies, etc., what would you tell me to do?
  8. I understand what you are saying. I'll see if I can get on that waiting list the same time I go for the ot eval. It's a pretty big deal that I've found a dr. who agrees with me, our last ped. Blew me off and said his behavior was normal. So at least I feel like I'm making progress. Maybe I'll contact the dr. This week instead of waiting the 3 weeks we have left until his next apt. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  9. The SLP eval was articulation and comprehension based on age-appropriate norms. He was receiving services for a while, then it was consult only, then a final eval and she determined that he was within age-appropriate norms. (this was a PROMPT certified SLP whom I trust with my life). The Sensory processing checklist we filled out indicated that he has some sensory avoiding issues and the Dr. made some suggestions to work on regarding that and we are supposed to go back for a followup after a 6 week food trial to ensure that it is not food allergies causing difficulties. One of the suggestions was to get an electronic toothbrush and that was magic! We've gone from fighting him tooth and nail to brush his teeth once a day to him voluntarily brushing them twice a day! I know as a toddler he used to crawl on the floor pushing and rubbing the top of his head along the floor as he went. We spoke to our DD's OT about it and she said it was likely related to reflexes, but I can't remember exactly what she said - she indicated it was fine at the time. The sensory things we're changing in his day right now are also showing an increase in his willingness to give/receive hugs and kisses and I've discovered that he likes deep pressure - I almost can't push hard enough when doing a "hotdog rollup" in a blanket for his liking. I expect that a full OT evaluation will be next after the follow up. It is very interesting about him not being able to draw the parts of the body he's having trouble connecting to, I'm going to ponder that some more. The thing I am thankful for is that I finally have a dr. who is taking me seriously. She did not even want to give the vaccines that he's due for because she wants to figure this out first. Yes, I've gone back and forth with DH about the possibility of autism. I'm going to follow this thing through one step of the time. I know enough to know that his behavior is not typical for his age, and that I need help.
  10. He can connect dot to dots but not always in a straight line. I've not tried tracing lines. He is working through lolipop logic with me and doing well. he can do easy puzzles. The thing that's caused most of my concern was behavior... He'll throw big fits and shut down and be non-communicative. He's got serious attachment issues and thew a big fit last night when he had to go home with dad because I was going to swing through the store. He didn't really calm down before I got home and I had to finish getting him ready for bed. He often won't go to his church class and it took a minor miracle to get a weight and height on him at the dr. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  11. Here is a picture he drew for me last night of a person. he worked painstakingly at it. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  12. thanks, I appreciate your comment, not condescending at all! Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  13. I agree with this - and know personally I was never explicitly taught the difference between a scientific theory and an unsupported theory in normal life. I think part of it was that I was taught that evolution was not true, and heard it referred to as a "theory" and thus understood scientific theory to be something that was considered logical and then disproven once put to the test. It was not until I was an adult that I learned otherwise about the definition of a scientific theory. I realize that with a thoroughly science smitten child, who just spent her birthday money on science books, that the same learning experience for her will do her a disservice.
  14. I found that I can't schedule beast. We do 30 minutes a day and I don't always make her do the puzzle questions because they drive her nuts and she's willing to work through the others and show mastery of the skills. Sometimes we blow through 5 or 6 pages in 30 minutes and sometimes 1 page, it depends on how difficult the concept is on that particular day. I note in my plans what page to start on the next day after the end of each math lesson.
  15. This underscores the importance of music lessons, to me... although my husband told me (he's a music teacher) that stringed instruments would be best, and to a lesser degree, brass, because of the need to hear and tune each note as you play. Piano, he said, wouldn't provide the same specific benefit, even though piano is beneficial for other reasons. My question then, is what other activities can you involve your children in that will help improve processing speed? Is this a unique benefit to music lessons?
  16. I was going to argue with you but you may be right and I don't have a lot of argue left in me. We've been living in frustrating circumstances for awhile now and our church has really rallied around us even more than family in a lot of ways. I am frustrated by the possibility of having to move away to have a job but if that's what happens than obviously God has something in mind for us. Maybe a miracle will happen and something will work out but we've been a bit short on miracles in the past few years. It doesn't help that one of our dear friends is probably moving away too. Just so many possible changes. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  17. True. I think most of the apps he's filled out required all the contact info for references but nothing more.
  18. Things you won't get out often go in the hardest to reach spots. Honestly I like Ikea best for these types of organization hacks. You can get wire shelves to put in the cupboards that will help split the space up for you.
  19. I know your pain! About a year ago I had to downsize, which meant going through everything we owned and purging most of it. I reached a point where I wanted to light a match and burn the whole lot down!
  20. Interesting... He is planning on staying in teaching long term. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  21. We don't have a home here yet, waiting to get a job first, so that's not a factor. A year there means possibly renting. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  22. Usually schools don't like you to take more than a couple days to decide on an offer, So we may not have the opportunity to receive more than one offer to leverage. There's also not much negotiation at all in teaching jobs - it's all predetermined based on years of experience/level of education. This means we know going into it how much each district will pay (approximately) and the decision is ours based on location/demographics, etc. DawnM: we are in PA/MD/VA area, so that might be part of the difference. There is a lot of difference between various districts and application procedures though.
  23. He's not run into that, ironically. He's had to list references and has used the same ones each time but I'm pretty sure only a couple have required the references to respond prior to the interview process beginning.
  24. That is true, but we would move with him if he got the job there. Even if it was only for a year.
  25. We are in a flux situation with DH's job and are facing a complicated issue. There are 3 options - one requires moving quite a bit away (half way across the country) from family, friends, and our church. We're actively attempting to avoid this option. The problem is, DH is a certified teacher, which is his "out" from the first option. He's applied to a bunch of school districts and has made it through the primary screening interview with several, so we are hopeful that by the end of May he'll have a position somewhere. Option 2 is our preferred option - getting a teaching job within about an hour radius of family and church so we can stay local (housing is currently temporary so we will move somewhere in the middle between the job and church/family in this situation). We have no guarantees of this working out, but have had several screening interviews at schools within that hour radius and are just waiting for principal interviews, hopefully sometime in May. option 3: There's a school district about 3-4 hours away that he applied to and they look like they are probably going to start the interview process a week or 3 ahead of some of the closer schools. This would mean leaving a church we really love and being too far from family to hop over for dinner. Although they do pay better. DH got an email yesterday inviting him to a networking event where the principals with openings will be at in the far away district. There are 2 events and DH wants to go to the latest one possible to allow other closer districts to have a chance to call him for an interview first. But we have not had full time income for the entire winter and are hurting for a job and I'm afraid it will hurt his chances to not take the first opportunity they offer (next week). That said, I get really emotional thinking about having to leave our church and totally understand the desire to allow closer districts to interview him first. We just don't have any guarantee that anyone else will even call for an interview, so I it's really frustrating trying to decide what's best. If we knew that there wouldn't be another offer, we'd obviously take the far away district, but if we just knew there'd be an offer somewhere close, we'd not even bother with the further district at all. what to do... what to do... :confused1: :unsure: :sad:
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