It's crazy. We have the technology!

Come for the monolith, stay for the cats!

We absolutely locked ds in his room at night. We had a video monitor set up. I can’t think of a single reason it would be safer to let a 3 year old Houdini with a death wish have run of the house while we slept than it was to simply lock him into his child-proofed room with a monitor.

I wouldn't want to live it again but I loved those years and delight in the memory of them. We had so much fun. I'm not a very nostalgic person. I think I do a pretty good job of being present. Dh was constantly bemoaning the kids not being little and I think he missed a lot of little years because he was too busy looking backwards. He actually has a pretty terrible memory for their childhood and I think the lack of presence is part of it. I delighted in all the stages and did my best not to spend much energy looking back. Now I have a bunch of young adults and, while it's not my favorite, I am aware that the summers of them coming home at school breaks will be done in a flash. I'm trying to, even now, enjoy this stage without too much rearview mirror gazing.

I could be wrong, but I would probably make less rules that involve you monitoring him and more that involve natural consequences. No use of your cars I would charge rent but save it for him to pay for the car repair Enrolling in school and job changes are really outside of your control. Those have to be his decisions I would heavily encourage/facilitate getting into a psychiatrist I have a kid who is impulsive and an unreliable narrator of her life. After her 4th car accident she became uninsurable on our insurance so we told her she'd need to find her own. We charged rent when she dropped out of school. She eventually became motivated to find roommates. She lost many, many jobs. The less we did for her the less she blamed us for everything (or maybe it was just the less we heard about it). I currently make a lot of sympathetic noises when she steps in caca but we don't bail her out. Her consequences are no longer our consequences. She's 26 now. She's in the middle of a divorce, lives with a roommate, has a job that she talks about quitting but hasn't, sees a counselor and takes meds. 18 is different but I would start moving in that direction.

Thorne Ferrasorb.

I'm heartbroken for you. As a fellow special needs mom, I've always felt a kinship with you. Anticipating that awful day is part of it, I think. I'm so sorry. Just so, so sorry. You've always been a warrior mom for him.

I would wear headphones.

Rereading Peter Pan currently. I also read a lot of Austen when stressed.

DD used it a lot to travel from school to my mom's house. Delays/route changes are a definite possibility. She was surprised with a bus trip for one leg because they were working on the station partway through her route. She says their customer service is terrible but the price was right. Most of the time she arrived about 20 min before departure.

From this list: Huntington Beach- my teenage-hood beach. The water is less clear here, the beaches are deep and flat. Cool pier and some dining/shops but more spread out. I think of this as a classic SoCal beach with loads of colorful characters, but it's not the prettiest of your options. Newport Beach- fun mix of everything. Lots of shops and restaurants, a pier. There's a car ferry between Balboa island and Newport that's a fun ride. Water is clearer than HB but not clear. There's a carousel and old-fashioned arcade near the pier. Laguna Beach- clear water, upscale dining and shops, lots of small coves. Very pretty. Crystal Cove State Park- A favorite vacation spot for my family. Gorgeous coves, tide pools, water is clear-ish. Lined with historic cottages and hiking trails. There's a sit down restaurant on the sand that's a little more pricey and a snack shack up at the top of the cliff that has an endless variety of shakes. Waves can get bigger and it's prone to rip currents but well-guarded and they're good about telling you if/where the currents are. I haven't been to these last 4 beaches since I was in high school so I won't add as much but what little I remember Doheny State Beach- south of Laguna but north of San Clemente San Clemente State Beach- cool surf town, just a bit farther south than you might want to go Bolsa Chica State Beach- in-between seal beach and HB. Similar water. Seal Beach- where my mom took us when we were kids because the waves are smaller. LA county beaches have muckier water, though. Corona del Mar is a great choice. I would not recommend Long Beach.

I used calm sleep stories to fall asleep when my son was in the hospital and I recommend it to all of my patient parents.

It's hard to tell from these descriptions. I think it's ok to tell teens that mom needs a minute (figuratively), but it's another thing to have them actively play a role in settling you/addressing your needs. With my teens, I have shared when something was hard for me or when I needed them to be more self-sufficient in order to take care of myself. Almost like starting to erect some adult boundaries....but I have never expected them to play an active role in addressing my emotional needs. IDK this is a hard thing to articulate. In my teens, my mom definitely overshared about my parent's marriage in ways that didn't wreck me but I don't think were necessarily helpful. But she didn't expect me to tend to her emotions, and I think that would have been damaging. From your description, I can't tell which side of the line you are on. If you recognize that you need 45 min settle yourself with a book and tea so you say to your kids, "Kids, I'm having a hard day. I'm going to take a time out for myself. Would you mind putting some tea on?" I think that's fine. But if it's more like your kids seeing you upset, asking what's wrong, "here mom, let me get you some tea. Would you like your book? Here's a blanket..." and then saying affirmations to make you feel better, then I think that is parentification.

My kids who retook ended up with nearly identical scores, even when they felt better or worse about one test or another.

She’s completely bizarre

Can you say more about these 2 things? What is an artist’s date? And how did you change your gate? Dh has horrible plantar’s fasciitis and he’s done so much to try and address it with not much result.

I’ve fixed this by not reading certain topics or posters. And on occasion, when I do get sucked into some unhealthy back and forth, I’ve learned that I don’t have to have the last word. I just peace out of the whole thread and never go back. Also, I never ask for personal advice anymore (except in the elder care club, when I was dealing with that). Every time I did, someone would post something really unhelpful. But your solution works, too!

I was going to ask whether the OP is in a state that’s received a lot of Californians. I apologize, we are stupidly aggressive drivers.

Mine are all graduated but we've never managed to have less than 2 at home, thus far. DS22 is special needs and will always be home. We had him and dd18 all of last (school) year. This school year has been DS20 and DS22. DD18 will be home for the summer. The olders have been out for many years. The weirdest one to have gone is dd18. She's non-stop chatting and activity. Ds20 is so quiet, sometimes he's home for hours without me realizing it (our house is NOT big enough to lose a person in). In the fall, we may or may not be down to just ds22. That will be very sad. I've always called myself a summer mom- I love the down time and adventuring. That's become even more true now that they're in school. PS. Spare Oom is my phone call room now

I’m a people nurse so take this all with a grain of salt, but kidney failure leads to less pee, not more. I would be more suspicious for uti or diabetes. We are very much natural life/death pet owners. We don’t do invasive treatments or testing. I think going in with that mindset will help you to know what to say yes or no to. UTI is an easy fix and probably a good place to start. Hope it’s something simple!

We tip every single person we interact with when we go to Mexico. I think for an area where tourism is their main resource, it is helpful to contribute to that resource as long as you don't exploit it (ie: not tipping is exploiting it, imo). BTW that's an absolute steal- where did you go? We've been to Mexico several times and while it's cheaper than Hawaii, it's never been anywhere near $500 for 5 days.

Do people not have outdoor cats anymore? I haven't been a cat owner in years but ours were always allowed outside.

If it makes you feel any better, I once left behind one of my son's seizure meds and had to have a friend break into our house and overnight them to me. It was a one time occurrence, for sure. Shit happens, mama. It's ok not to be perfect. (I also once left on a road trip with both sets of car keys, leaving my husband stranded)

We stayed in a VRBO on ocean beach and it was so lovely and fun to be right on the sand. The rate was not at all high compared to hotels.

I mean, that show is almost 20 years old...it's hard to remember what the norms were and which ones they pushed against vs not. I don't think they did anything with casting that ER didn't do 10 years prior. And the ER actors were probably more "normal" looking as far as beauty standards. How a person remembers and reflects on (and later writes about) their own motives is going to be somewhat unrealistic. I think most people tend to look back on their choices as more benevolent than they really were.