I hadn't really thought through this part before. How your dd put up boundaries and she pushed through them. Not that you need me to tell you, but you are absolutely right, she is not safe. Before I was thinking that people were over reacting because I don't think she's do anything to physically harm your child. But reading this post makes it clear to me that the danger is in the way she is pushing past your dd's boundaries and violating her mentally.

You're right- she doesn't have the right. I guess the only thing I'm torn about is the motive. I can relate to her motive, so I don't find it as devious as you do. Knowing your history, I totally get why this is so disturbing to you. In the end, i still agree with you- she's totally out of line.

I think you're on to something here. I'm in the same camp with Aubrey, where I'm really torn here. As a Christian, I hear her heart. There is no separating my love for Jesus and my love for others. On the other hand.... I've been thinking this over- could I ever see myself doing what she has done. 1) The puppy- yes, I could see myself doing that. There is no separation between my Christian walk and any generosity that comes out of me. I'm really not generous on my own. 2) Talking to another's child about God- Not the way she is doing. I do not hide my faith. My kids openly talk about God and Jesus often. BUT, I would not ask the leading questions that she is doing. If asked, I would absolutely answer my truthful beliefs, but I would not pursue conversations of the sort. In my experience, 7yos don't usually ask adults other than their parents questions unless they are very close with that adult. Well, maybe some 7yos, but I can't think of one time I've been asked a question about God by someone else's 7yo outside of church/close friend setting. 3)blogging about it- NO! NO! NO! On one hand, at least you know what is going on. On the other, wow it's so wrong. You've got to talk to her one way or the other. Quite frankly, she needs to know the damage she is doing to friendships, trust and how she is perceived by others outside of the faith. She needs a humbling. I can't say what I would do in your shoes. Knowing Jesus is literally a life or death thing to me. Someone trying to convince one of my children that there is no God would be like someone trying to kill my child. If the situations were reversed, I would absolutely cut them off from my child. In your situation, I'm not sure. You have been disrespected and your authority is being subverted. Is that grounds for cutting off the relationships between your children and hers- I don't know, you'll have to decide. Maybe a talk will be enough, maybe not. No matter what, I would demand that the descriptions of my dd be taken down.

That's good stuff. With my strong willed child, superhuman calm and consistency have been key. Here are the things we've done that have yielded positive results- *Keeping absolute control over my emotions and voice. Yelling does NOTHING to help with him. <raising my voice with my super compliant oldest has always been instantly effective, so I had to retrain myself> *Consistency- if I let him get away with something once, he WILL try to walk all over me. *Telling him in advanced what my expectations are and what the consequences will be for disobeying. *Extra attention- This especially applies to time with my husband. I will take time to cuddle with him, read a book, ect. When dad takes him out, he usually gives a little "man of the house" pep talk. Things dh says to him have a deep impact. For your dd, she may need an extra dose of mommy time. Personally, I do not connect positive attention with bad behavior. In other words, if a child sasses me, I will not pull them up on my lap in that moment for a cuddle. I will make a point of it later on though. *Jobs, work and overall busyness. My SWC is also my energy factory. I try to keep him very, very busy throughout the day. For your dd, I would consider keeping her close to your hip. Involve her in your work, give her jobs of her own. Some general rules here- *When I give them instruction or correction- they need to respond with "yes Mom." This lets me know that they hear and understand me. *When someone wrongs another person (including talking back to me), the offender must apologize, "I am sorry <insert name>, I was wrong, would you please forgive me?" That apology has become key because my kids are the type who will not say "I was wrong, " unless they mean it. So it usually flushes out any unresolved heart issues or unconfessed wrongs by the other person. *emotional outbursts and unkind talk are straight to your room offenses- every time. Ds 6 is my SWC. We do not spank him. It does not work for him. We use time outs in his room, and taking away privileges. DD4 is my emotional outburst child, and probably the worst as far as sassiness. She gets time outs in her room and spankings, because it works. DD11 is my super-compliant child, our sheer disappointment has always been enough correction for her. Grounding also works, but is rarely necessary. They are ALL different. You've received a lot of advice, I can only tell you what has worked in our house. I hope you find a solution that works for your dd. The only things that I think are universally effective are CONSISTENCY AND CALM. Whatever approach you decide on, do it without raising your voice and never waiver from the plan. (((HUGS))))

OK, I really need to seperate your question from the dishwasher bit. I would struggle without a dishwasher. For us, going from 3 to 4 was not a big deal. Personally, my big transition was from 1 to 2. By the time we got to 3 and 4, I was very comfortable with parenting/newborns/the general pattern of our lives. Bringing another one in was not hard to do. Of course, YMMV :)

:iagree:

Overall, I like her studies. I didn't like Believing God, I think because it was light weight and I really hate light weight studies. I thought Daniel was excellent because it got away from "tell me about me" type I studies. To each his own. My dh hates the general Beth Moore fixation that many churches seem to have.

Tell me about it! I ended up "cleanng up after" three half-finished mugs this evening. I better be careful.

FLL WWE Singapore 1 ETC Phonics pathways HWT Lots of library books for science, history, art

Yay! I was the best mom ever when I made this tonight :)

If it isn't already planned for me (SL), I am just a "do the next thing" type of gal. At the beginning of the year, I look over any material that isn't broken down into lessons that fit the school year and figure out how many pages per week to cover. Other than that, I don't do much planning. I did make a loop chart this year and I keep a learning record for ds6, but nothing hardcore. I'm just not wired that way.

bump

As a group, I've always thought of hs moms to be on the more dominant end of personalities. While I wouldn't call myself a control freak, I know quite a lot of hs moms that would fall under that umbrella. Hsing is a counter culture lifestyle, so I have to think that you'd have to have a somewhat dominant, or at least confident personality. I actually think that I am not a controller, but I have a fierce independent streak that has allowed me to go against the norm without caring much of what anybody else thinks. I'm INFP, if that helps at all.

If it's between sharing a room or a better financial situation, I would go for better financials without hesitation. All of our kids have shared or not shared and I think there are benefits both ways if all things were equal.

I was around for less than a year before the change.

Thanks for the replies so far. It really helps just to hear what others have done. Cadam, I'm considering a change because I only have 2 more years with dd and I'm very focused on her being fully prepared for highschool. I love MUS, but I've seen repeated concerns about it's upper levels. If we were hsing through highschool, I might go with it knowing I could backtrack if need be, but we're not.

Another vote for Handwriting without Tears. Personally, I would not combine handwriting with any other subject. Her reading/phonics progression should not hang on her ability to write, those are 2 different skills.

Bueller? Bueller? Anyone?

I was just musing about this today as I was watching my 6yo's swim practice. He's one in a group of 20 kids, all learning their strokes for the first time. I'm watching the coaches try to give step by step instructions. The boys in the group are all bouncing and bobbing, sometimes listening, sometimes distracted. At each lap I watched him and thought, "if I could just tell him this or correct that, he would get this so much faster." But the coaches are busy watching all of the kids and maybe once during the whole practice did ds get specific corrections. When he did get them (and on the couple of times that he was paying full attention during the group instructions), his improvement was dramatic and immediate. So transfer that to the classroom and it's no wonder they need 6 hours to accomplish what we do in an hour! I think that a lot of the time, the homework is just reproducing what we hsers do at home. Teachers expect (hope!) the parents to help tutor the kids through their homework. The kids who's parents do the work with them are the ones who do well because they are the ones getting tutored at home. just a few wandering thoughts...

That's FANTASTIC!! It's so funny, when we went into full time ministry I thought that it was the end of our vacation days. I just didn't see how we'd ever be able to afford one again, but God has been so faithful to provide us with better vacations than we were ever able to take before. What a huge blessing for you guys! Not that this is totally a vacation, but still, WOW! As for any meaningful help, I've got nothing. Sorry!! I would just explore and soak it all in.

Oh what a blessing she was! I love the way God uses animals in our lives. How much better is life because of the presence of our pets?! Many prayers for your son tonight.

Every once in awhile, Colleen, you really surprise me. Too funny!

I have never heard of this. I may need to start eliminating some things from my diet. Thanks for the info!

We're watching. I think there is a AI social group. Or at least there was talk about making one.

I know all of the words to "Ice, Ice, Baby." :lol::lol: