These are good fun! This might be a good time to transition to something a little less laborious for yourself, since the family is growing. https://www.worldmarket.com/p/large-merry-christmas-wreath-crackers-6-count-605254.html?mrkgadid=&mrkgcl=660&mrkgen=&mrkgbflag=&mrkgcat=&camp=ppc%3Agoogle%3A_pMAX_%2B_Holiday&acctid=21700000001660222&dskeywordid=&lid=58700008591177007&dsproductgroupid=&product_id=605254&merchid=5165106&prodctry=US&prodlang=en&channel=online&storeid=&device=m&network=x&matchtype=&locationid=9032090&creative=&targetid=&campaignid=20706707886&adgroupid=&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQiAuqKqBhDxARIsAFZELmKxFKK8nIewEEmD4QZRGjjXmmY5rjZUEIN5iYGRwUmkFGrrSSOT-OEaAgPXEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds

Maybe just wait until you see her in person again? I have a friend that I love dearly, but we are very bad at texting with each other. Somehow we consistently miss each other's tone/meaning. She's the only person I have experienced this with but it's happened often enough that we generally avoid texting if we can. Or you may not be a personality match. Who knows.

Then just for a vacation, lol!

Destin popped to my mind, too. Do what the snowbird do- head to Florida!

Definitely had it and loved it!

As someone on the other end of child-raising, I go hard for date nights. My youngest is 19 and we're watching some of our friend's marriages implode but dh and I are flourishing. We're happier than we've ever been in our relationship. I 100% credit regular date nights and couple's vacations during our heavy lifting years. Sometimes the dates were weekly, sometimes monthly, but there was always some sort of plan to make it a regular thing. We dedicated money to this. Vacations were much less often but it's amazing what even one night away did for us. It took work and planning to make these happen but we're enjoying the fruit now. Date your wife!

Oh, interesting! That's good to know. She's definitely in a suburb.

It's a little unreasonable to want it to be all or nothing, imo. (and as a parent, I would take all over nothing) If it's not possible to find an accommodations that work for a larger group, then split it up and the people bringing spouses can get a hotel.

Any recs for jackets and other gear she might appreciate as a Californian experiencing her first real winter?

It’s a hike, but the whales migrate right past it!

I live in a pretty spectacular area (NorCal). I will never feel at home if I'm too far from the ocean. These are all in my county.

I'm very much like you. I refuse to follow stupid rules. If I'm not sure if the rule is stupid (say, if it's outside my domain) I will follow it. I will also follow rules of courtesy. But if I am knowledgable and the rule is clearly dumb, I will absolutely use my own judgement.

Unless the day program is spectacular, I would lean much more in the direction of giving the new school a chance. I just think at 5, you never know what leaps he could make in a more nurturing least-restrictive environment.

Dh and dd19 have dodged it.

Totally agree.

I feel sad because she was a big part of my childhood and she seemed like such a genuinely good and kind person.

I kind of wonder, though. How many people do you know who live 28 years with breast cancer? Also, her then radical views on bio identical hormones are pretty well supported now (or at least the original research on HRT and breast cancer has been challenged pretty thoroughly and found wanting).

Don't overthink it. Text the mom that you'll take care of it. Tell your son to knock it off. Move on. He's not in trouble, but now he knows that she doesn't like it. I wouldn't worry about the big picture lesson on this one.

Wow, I must have missed the thread where the sale actually happened! I totally thought it fell through. Congrats!

Have you heard of the podcast “What Should I Read Next?” This thread reminds me of it. You might enjoy listening to her recommendations.

1000%, even with the kids that aren't hard to live with. Ds21 is currently home. When he has lived away, he makes a point to call and check in. When he lives at home, it's a lot less intentional communication. Dd26 is truly hard to live with and we have a pretty good relationship with her as a fully launched adult. Dd19 is a joy but maybe a little less prickly when she's not at home. These young adults need their breathing room.

That's horrific, thank you for the warning. Al-Jazeera had a good timeline and Washington post had a decent summary with video clips.

Kind of shocked we don't have a thread on this yet. What time did the attack start? I've been at work all day and am just catching up.

Next time she’s hospitalized, don’t let them discharge without involving social work to come up with a plan for follow up care that doesn’t depend solely on family.

MIL may have to miss some appointments. There is only so much you can do. Sacrificing your dh’s health or your family income are off the table. I found with FIL that some appointments could be telehealth instead of in-person. Or they can spread them out more. Other things that may be available if you tell them she simply can’t make it to all of the appointments- home health nurse to assess and do labs or community transport. There are solutions that are never offered if a family is willing to do all the things.