I’ve done 3 major moves sight unseen. That seems crazy to me now but it actually all worked out.

Can you go down in hours and pick up per diem work outside of the house? I worked a boring job and it was a deal breaker for me. But my happy place is a job so busy that I literally have to be in the zone from clock in to clock out. It's not for everyone. The thing that stood out to me is your time for exercise and family stuff. That's pretty incredible. Work is always going to be work, so I guess you just have to pick your poison.

I would retest but it almost doesn't matter if they're symptomatic. Between RSV, flu, paraflu, and covid, whatever it is, just stay home and keep a close eye on them. It's all circulating and it's all nasty.

The down side is wasted time and money. The upside is college credits that lighten the undergraduate load. My son did not apply himself to his AP tests and by his senior year, we opted out of spending the money on tests he was not willing to prepare for. Of the 4 AP classes he took, he took 2 tests and only got a helpful score on one. And no, the scores don’t harm college app chances. The GPA bump was still beneficial to him as he still managed to get decent grades in those classes. Dd also took 4 APs but she rocked the tests. Those have translated into class credits that have truly lightened her college load. Additionally, having those credits put her in a better registration position for her spring classes and she ended up with a much better schedule than some of her peers.

Opt out. If you have the ability to keep track of your appointments without the text reminders, just reply back “stop.”

I believe it's possible for a negative person to *learn* a more positive mindset, but no, I don't think it's possible for anyone to *teach* positivity. Change is an inside job.

THEIR STAFFING ISSUES ARE NOT YOUR PROBLEM. This is the entire healthcare industry right now. I can't express enough to you just how much their staffing issues are not your problem. Give them 2 weeks. That is industry standard. Do not let them guilt you into a minute more, for the love of God. And no getting talked into staying on per diem!! Congratulations on the job offer! Please do counter them on that hourly wage. Don't undervalue yourself. They're not going to take away the offer.

You stepping out of the do-everything role was such a vital part of them getting to this point. I know we don't really know each other, but I'm so proud of you! It's a great example to everyone here that being the martyr is in no one's best interest.

Reframing this- maybe dh has the prime role? He’s not the lead on anything, so you guys can control your contribution (and you have- good job!). Let’s say, worst case scenario, dh commits you to fill some task- you can absolutely say, “that doesn’t work for me.” Based on the family disfunction, I think it’s better that they don’t want you there. You’d just get railroaded. If dh commits himself to some task, don’t rescue him out of it. “Gee DH, that sounds like a lot of work for you.” There is only one solution to your IL’s situation- hiring more help or paying for a facility. All other attempts at navigating this are doomed to fail.

I predict that it will get better over time. Transitions are HARD but they don't last forever. I think you might have a clearer picture by the end of the school year. IMO, December is too soon to call it, though I would totally understand if you did. I don't even have school age kids at home anymore and I've been surprised by how straining it is to go to work full time. Just even between dh and I, and caring for our special needs guy and FIL. It's so much to juggle. But it's been about 5 months now and I can feel us getting into more of a groove. My advice- 1) Absolutely make sure dh understands that your income cannot be folded into the regular budget. You need the option to quit. 2) Definitely hire help- that's a completely necessary expense to make this work. 3) Don't sign the kids up for as many activities/sports this year. If you can, I would take a full season off of extracurriculars. School is the extracurricular right now. If it were me, I would take winter off of anything extra. (((HUGS)))

DD finally settling into college after a rough start A job working in a field that I know without a doubt that I'm called to (this might seem weird but) TeA. Because when everything else is hard and feels out of control, it's an immediate connection to dh. And it's free!

My bed. It's the comfiest.

Cheering you on. This is tough but I'm hopeful that you will end up in a good place.

Several people in my nursing school cohort did not graduate on time because they failed to take the required upper level GEs. A few of them were complaining on the group chat that it wasn't clear. It was 1) in our orientation packet, 2) stated clearly and repeatedly at orientation, 3) easily identifiable in our degree auditing page that was accessible on the school website at any point in our 2-year program, 4) something that any course counselor would have told them if they met with them, as recommended. I didn't feel bad about them being delayed because if you can't navigate your nursing degree then you are not ready to be a nurse.

I haven’t read the whole thread. These were DH and my exact ages when we started dating. My answer if I was the mom of the 15yo is that it depends on the 18yo. Some 18yos are really sweet and trustworthy, some are not. I would be a very active presence and there would be a lot of input from dh and I. If I was the mom of the boy, I would be very concerned about the risk he is taking. He would here from me a ton about protecting himself, boundaries, the legal risks, etc. You have more control if you’re the parent of the 15yo but not a ton more. Better to nip it early if you can. At some point they will just do what they want without telling you. I would rather have more access to my kids’ relationships than less.

Got it. Agree, children’s hospitals are for children. I work at one. If my children’s hospital had an early 20’s patient with autism and acute asthma exacerbation come in, I would consider it appropriate for that patient to be seen at my hospital. That’s all I was trying to share.

I was wondering why your response felt sharp. Sorry about the inappropriate advice from so many people. That seems to be a consistent theme when getting advice from online sources.

Are you in the US? Every ED in the US is legally bound to take anyone who walks in their doors. They don't have to admit you, but they do have to examine you and provide appropriate emergency care.

Nope. Sorry!

Glad he seems better. For now or the future, I would send him to the children’s hospital ED if it’s close enough. Children’s hospitals do take young adults and they tend to be better at both asthma and autism.

I didn't have any side effects, either (other than inflammation that I think is related to bad technique). We get the flu shot every year, too. I really don't think it's RSV. He has no respiratory symptoms and his only public exposure was literally walking into the clinic, getting the shot and walking out. If we were indoors for more than 10 minutes, I would be surprised. Everyone was masked and it wasn't crowded. Whatever this is, I really don't think it's viral. This kid has been known to brew random bacterial infections, so that's what I'm most on alert for.

We had covid in July and I have been wondering if it's stirring up his immune system because of that. This would be the first immune challenge he's had since then. It's reassuring that many people seem to be having a strong reaction.

SAME! Mine started with the Pfizer booster and the flu shot definitely has increased it. I also think I have bursitis from this shot. We're feeling more beat up than usual over here!

DS got his flu shot on Wed. Ran a fever Thur, was fine Friday, ran a fever again yesterday and today. On Thur, I assumed it was a flu shot response. Today I'm starting to wonder if this is something else. He's never had a prolonged reaction to the flu shot before. This is my non-verbal kiddo, so I don't know if he has any other symptoms. We've screened for UTI, it's not that. His O2 sat is baseline. He no longer has an appendix or gall bladder, so we know those aren't infected. No one around him is sick and he has only left the house for his shot, during which we were in the clinic for 15 min max. He's Covid negative. I'm stumped. If other people are having this type of vaccine reaction, I will feel better about it (though I know that everyone's immune response is unique). Any ideas?

I’m debating what to do with my 2 college kids. They both will have more loans by the end of next year so I’m wondering if we should wait until closer to the deadline to apply?