Good job!

I stopped bringing them in visits. It was serving no one. It’s understandable that FIL misses them. Maybe you can bring them to do something outside with FIL while you sit with MIL but that’s as far as I would push it. Figuring out how to get the kids over seems pretty low priority right now. I wouldn’t worry about that until there’s some stability in her care plans. PS. After any of you visit, wash your hands with soap and hot water as you leave the room. Hand sanitizers do not kill cdiff.

An incredible woman (and her husband) at our church. DH and I have become fast friends with them.

I know many people who have no negative side effects but dh, who was prescribed it for nerve pain, had a crazy reaction to it. Within 2 days he couldn't string a coherent sentence together. It was like word salad. He looked at me so earnestly, like he knew exactly what he was trying to say, but the words came out all out of order. But I will say that he has crazy, over the top reactions to Neuro medications. Nortriptyline made him lose entire spans of time.

Every minute I soaked up with my youngest before she left for college. Wine country days with dh (California has its perks). Visits with my mom. I’m hoping to be much more intentional with my vacation time next year.

To the OP, yes, my family had this dynamic. If we were going to choose a level, it was probably a 6/7 out of 10. My grandmother was the main gossip. But to Rosie’s point, once she died, I do think the family lost a lot of connection. I no longer know what shit my cousins are getting into because I don’t have my grandmother broadcasting both the good and the bad. My family doesn’t feel close anymore. To the youTuber’s point, that’s probably because all we ever had was cheap intimacy.

I have a friend who will literally share every single bit of information shared with her unless asked not to. She doesn’t do it maliciously, and she’s absolutely trustworthy when asked to keep things quiet, but if not asked, you’ll have 20 people congratulating you on your new job the day after you tell her. She tends to have better judgement with hard things (I’m also more careful to ask her not to share). Being her friend has taught me a lot about how I personally feel about my news and information. When I get together with her, I’m forced to think through what information I want to control vs set free. It can be tiresome but she’s also a uniquely wonderful person, so it’s worth the effort.

The hospital I work for has a weekly email updating us on which drugs are on shortage and what the alternative is.

Most hospitals have a palliative care doctor/team. They are great for helping to walk families through these situations. I have a few thoughts. First, I agree with whoever said to just own your decision to talk to social work. Let, "I'm concerned" become your go-to response. Second, I just want to reiterate that you can't fix this. We're throwing a lot of directives at you on this thread but in the end, this still remains out of your hands. I just want to acknowledge that. Lastly, something struck me about this whole thing (and this may be controversial) which is, prolonging her life may not be the highest goal here. Her going home might be ok. She will probably die sooner but she also might be comforted by her familiar surroundings. If SIL really, really wants to make that happen for her, then the big thing to reenforce is that she needs 24 hour care. What isn't ok is leaving her at home in a state of neglect. This could be accomplished by hiring full time care ($$), or maybe SIL can take a leave of absence from her work (that suggestion might be a cold splash of water). Maybe dh needs to Yes-AND FIL/SIL and just start agreeing that the goal is to get MIL home with 24 hour care. And if you have a chance to comment, just move forward by making statements that ASSUME that 24h care is the goal because anything less would be neglectful. Again, though, I'd like to acknowledge that this isn't your responsibility to fix. MIL (and FIL, for that matter) might have a more precipitous decline if she comes home but maybe that's OK? FIL certainly seems so devoted. I think any of the inevitable outcomes are probably going to lead to his decline. In the end, do what you've been doing- allow the siblings to absorb the consequences of their decisions. Hugs to you. This is hugely stressful.

Getting hired as a pediatric hematology/oncology nurse (on day shift!!).

Disappointment provision love

25th anniversary trip to Oregon, gorgeous sunrise view curled up on the couch with my husband. Just heaven.

One of my favorite threads of the year! This year I became a nurse. Last year I graduated, but this year I passed boards and began my goal job as a pediatric hematology/oncology nurse. I love it. No children in public school. The baby graduated and special needs guy aged out of PS. All of my kids are legal adults!

I think you’ve done your part. You’re not going to be able to make them go to rehab so I would just let that go.

She probably has Medicare advantage administrated by Aetna. FIL has the same

Compression socks, door dash/Uber eats, massage, figs…all good choices.

Poor thing. Not sure who you are referencing with “she” and “he” but I really do think the respite that everyone experiences from this stay will help clarify some future decisions. Though, be forewarned that as soon as insurance cuts off, the facility will push for her to discharge no matter how ready you all are to care for her.

Hospitals mess this up all the time- discharge too soon and end up with bounce back admits. I think it's very important for you or dh to speak with social work. They need the full picture.

I’m really glad someone pointed out the elder abuse aspect of the situation to them. This is not a wait and see situation.

I worked yesterday so today is our Thanksgiving. I did pick up some Christmas pajamas from ON and last night I ordered refills on some of my skin care products that were on sale. We're getting our tree today, as early as possible. Then it'll be cooking for the remainder!

I would say it's even normal for this culture, we just don't call it co-sleeping. If you talk to most parents of young kids, I would guess more than half have a child crawl in bed with them for at least part of the night. It's fine. Everyone is fine. Mine are all grown and there was all sorts of musical beds at your kids' ages.

If you do it as intended, yes, you will read/listen to every single word of the whole Bible. The podcast is a recap- usually focused on contextualizing the passage into the whole of scripture.

I did it the very first year it was out, so she’s added a lot of resources since then. This was before TBR even had its own reading plan on YouVersion. I would listen to the passage and then the podcast. She keeps the podcasts short enough that it felt doable. I got a lot out of it. It was important to me to stay on pace, so I didn’t do a lot of journaling. My friend that I did it with really wanted to add in a lot of reflection and journaling. She had to slow down her pace and ended up taking a year and a half to finish. It’s really just about your own goals for the time. If you already have the habit of reading long passages daily, you might be happy to add in other resources/journaling. For me the priority was building that daily habit and actually accomplishing the thing. And it did feel like a huge accomplishment. I have contemplated starting up again next year but I’m undecided.

Was she able to get them?

I'm finally in the queue- just 2000+ people ahead of me 😅😩