I agree with her and I'm Xian. I'm not offended by what the Bible says, but I clearly don't think it says the same thing you do.

Ohhhhhh, that was mean.

My MIL still cooks from the Betty Crocker cookbook.

That really stinks. Programming Fundamentals should really be teaching fundamental concepts of programming that are applicable to all languages. One would think.

It was not my experience at all. Although when I got my degree I first learned mainframe programming, I did learn C#. Is this your first programming class? Who is the audience?

True... hmmmm...

I understand exactly what you mean. I think. I don't think sales is inherently bad. My DH is an excellent salesman (not his job). It isn't the selling that makes me uncomfortable. It's the almost desperation to make every interaction a possible sale, regardless who you are talking to. I do think that sales to people who you already know don't need or want what you are selling is bad. I know most people will disagree with that. I've never tried to articulate this opinion so I'm just thinking "out loud" here.

The No Puftas sign would actually be more in line with the Orthodox Church in today's climate, not against it.

Kyle Kaleb (Caleb) How about Caedmyn? (or Kaedmyn) I think you should scrap the J requirement and forget about calling him by his middle name and just pick a name *you* like. And announce that that is the name. End of.

We did something similar, I have 2 NT kids, one with anxiety, one ADHD. We called it the "Wall of Solutions". So every time there was a meltdown over something easily solve-able we'd talk about it later and put together a page with the problem and the solution - using pictures instead of words where appropriate. We mounted it in the front hallway - one 8.5x11 for each problem.

Read your edit, PJ, and I hear what you are saying. I am in no way saying that domestic violence is confined to the Orthodox Church and I'm not sure if that's how my post came across or what, but that would be pretty silly. I also understand - pretty darn well - the culture and the daily lives of people in Russia, both in my parent's youth and currently. My father spent more of his elementary aged years speaking only Russian in school than the language of his people. I have traveled to Russia, my sister lived in Moscow for years, many of my friends, from childhood on up, are immigrants from Russia. I have been schooled in the history of the region at the dinner table my entire life. I'm not approaching this from a purely American POV. The Orthodox Church in Russia has made sure that they are the only game in town. There have been many articles published which talk about their deep political influence in Russia. As Laurie said, they wanted parents to be able to discipline their children? I know what that looks like in an average Russian family, and it isn't the same as the spanking debate in the US. In any event, that doesn't jive with the claim that the Orthodox Church is against violence. I'm honestly sick that this kind of thing is going on to this degree and people who have the power and the responsibility to make it better are not, in the name of "family values". Like I said, I had intended to do a lot more research into this situation but I've had a family emergency fall into my lap and I can no longer make time for this. I would not have posted in the first place if I knew that was coming. Apologies.

Just chiming in again before heading to bed because I didn't want it to seem like I'm ignoring you, PJ. FYI, I am actually *really* familiar with Russian culture - it's almost identical in this area to the culture of my FOO. I don't really know how to discuss this with you if you haven't seen what I'm wanting to discuss. Laurie, you bring up some good questions and I had planned to research it further but got re-routed to Urgent Care this evening. ETA: yes, I know the man wasn't clergy. that's why I called him an Orthodox *man*.

Well, I'm at urgent care wth my son so I can't watch it again to give specifics and If you haven't watched the video I'm not sure how to discuss it. There was a very disturbing interview with an orthodox man and his wife who talk about men beating their wives. I don't want to try to quote without watching it again. The Orthodox Church is also supportive of the decriminalization of domestic violence. And I know that they are very protective of that area spiritually yet they don't seem to be doing anything about this. There was one priest they interviewed who seems to be making an effort it he acknowledged that he was going against the grain.

There was definitely a tie-in with alcoholism, but aside from that, the depth of misogyny even in sobriety was staggering. The Orthodox Church is in a great position to do something about this but the seem to be complicit.

https://docur.co/documentary/stacey-dooley-investigates-russias-war-on-women This documentary popped up on my FB feed. I found it difficult to watch at times. I knew about the new legislation that was passed this last year that decriminalized certain kinds of domestic violence but had forgotten about it. I wasn't aware of just how dire the situation was - even given my own personal experience with a similar culture of my FOO I still found the reality of it shocking. It mentioned the Orthodox Church a few times and I'm wondering what part they have played and are playing and will play in this situation. Would love it if any EO ladies would chime in.

I have ZERO doubt that this applies to my MIL choosing a young man for husband #2.

My MIL married a man 27 years her junior. He is not old enough to be DH's father and went to the same high school as DH did. Surprisingly, it isn't weird. He clearly needed a motherly figure and for her part, choosing someone like that made it feel less like she replaced DH's father who died very young. They've been together for longer than DH & I although they didn't marry until the year after we did - so 20 years married, together longer. ETA: clarify

During the 6 years of marriage prior to pregnancy, I had between 0-5 glasses of wine a year. That didn't change during pregnancy. I don't know anyone who drank more than that during pregnancy. I don't like drinking culture - at least not the kind around here where adults regularly drink so much that their behavior is impaired, often around children. But I don't see people drinking during pregnancy as a common thing. I did get a few horrified comments from people who thought one glass of wine during pregnancy was going to kill my baby.

Generally speaking, from my own experience both as a child and also seeing it as an adult, I think people are afraid of confronting anything that is uncomfortable. All the important things, unless we're talking about it in very high-level general terms and it doesn't affect anyone personally, we just. don't. talk. about. Can't talk about it in church, "friends" don't want to talk about it because they "are trying to be positive", can't talk about it on FB because yuck - such a downer. I mean you CAN talk about it in any of those places but people will start avoiding you.

This is something that I could see happening to me if I had dared to get highlights as a teen. What an awful situation.

I have GAD also but not BP. I sometimes have the sensation of all of a sudden being too tall, as if I'm on stilts or something. So I get the weird feeling about having holes. It doesn't make any sense yet there is it. I would try to channel my energy to try to distract myself. Tracking your moods would also be good. It sounds like maybe you'll need to change one of your meds.

I agree. We call those slize (slee-zheh). Yummmmmm.

I find Eeyore to be incredibly lovable. So if someone is so negative that it's irritating, then they're not Eeyore ;) I am a realist, so I have definite Eeyore times. Sometimes I channel Pooh or Christopher Robin though.

My point is that even the "helicopter" kind of parents can be neglectful. Even focused parents who let their kids play every day after finishing their work can be neglectful. And I know a number of parents whose kids are alone all summer long who are good parents who know what their kids are up to all day. Because they don't underestimate their kids and consider them capable of caring for themselves during the day. It seems like the term "tiger" parents is just becoming code for "perfect" parents. Which I don't get. Another point - I think that there is a significant disconnect between parenting styles that I think boils down to what is considered "success". If you think success is being the best at ______ then you'll be a very different parent than someone who thinks success is being happy, or supporting oneself, or being well-rounded, etc.

Speaking generally, you can be a Tiger parent and also be a neglectful parent. Nothing you describe means the parents aren't neglectful in some major ways. Neglect isn't all or nothing.