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OKBud

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OKBud last won the day on February 5

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About OKBud

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  1. can you use a power washer instead? Maybe the water wouldn't kick stuff up as much?
  2. Then she'll just have had the same experience as her friends 🙂 I confess I don't understand why you're worried about her losing touch with the other kids that are mean and petty to her and to one another. ... If there's a third group (homeschool friends, mean public school friends, friendly public school friends), then she's already in better shape than a whole bunch of kids. Cold comfort, of course, but still...if that's the case then it's just something to be endured and there are worse things than "only" having a few nice friends.
  3. The thing of not necessarily being love connections despite having things in common is true everywhere, not just church. I have told my husband to stop setting me up with women he notices I have a lot in common with 😄 I've met my closest friends at kid's sports, the neighborhood, at work, online, mutual friends finding out we live near each other and giving us one another's cell #s, people that drifted by when I was hanging out with my mom and her husband, book club at a book store, DH's work, homeschool park day.... these are across 7 states. I have had to completely decouple my kid's search for friends from my own. I don't expect to be friends with their friend's mom and I don't expect them to be more than polite with my friend's kids.
  4. My initial impressions are: This grandmother probably loves her grandchildren very much. But probably should have gone along with her daughter's request if she was interested in healing the rift between them, since on her end, it's completely benign. No one ever needs pictures of other people on their own SM, but people regularly need to circle the wagons for any number of reasons. People are VERY WEIRD in how they think that SM needs to reflect their lived lives. [weirdness is obviously subjective, I am aware] It was a matter of time.
  5. Leaving aside the fact that this involves European legal system peculiarities, what do you think about this? https://www.nytimes.com/2020/05/22/business/facebook-privacy-law-grandmother.html?smtyp=cur&smid=fb-nytimes&fbclid=IwAR3a9DfT0Npsz8Zfy3mf9pwQWWe2gIZqPwv7YoRr2o8BkHnaxniaLcU5zjs
  6. All Creatures Great and Small is hilarious. There is some grossness, but that's by dint of dealing with farm animals, not because of base potty humor.
  7. LOL It all blurs together after a while 😄 ...but that's because it gets so much better!
  8. EDIT: I am so sorry. I replied without reading the second page, and the convo had taken a whole different turn. Should have known! Agreeing with everyone who has said that grandmotherly emotional manipulation definitely isn't usually part of the Mother's Day Package Deal. In case someone else likes it, I'll tell you that my DH is my MIL's oldest. So I always try to do a little something to celebrate her on his birthday. It's THE day she became a mother, and she was (is) an awesome one, and I love her so much ❤️ For myself, if I am hankering for something specific I'll ask DH to cook or buy it for me. He's always happy to do it, but calling it "for mother's day" makes him a little bit more happy about it, because after all, most people like to make the people they love feel special. ... and butts to anyone who takes the opposite tack when it's not a mutual giving! Oh! I bought myself one of these notebook covers "for mothers day" this year. Aren't they adorable!
  9. QFT When you're talking (when she's receptive and calm) it is probably going to be important to emphasize that what anyone else does is basically none of your or her business. That you've got the one responsibility here-- her health-- and that's the only reason you're doing what you're doing.
  10. From experience, and gently-- When you reach the point where you have to do something about screentime, and toxic friendship time, you have to just do it. Don't do it a little, and no bargaining. No earning time. Earning time is for kids for whom screen time is a reward, not those for whom it is already their default mode, and a disruptive and mentally unhealthy issue. ...Besides what you REALLY want to get to, is the place where she doesn't have to earn it, but to the place where she can just do it and monitor herself. In kids with issues around screens, you have to take baby steps and be on hand to prevent backslide. It's a marathon, not a sprint. You can not, if you want her to read for entertainment/personal elucidation, frame the issue to her as screen vs. reading. Or screen Vs. family time. Or screen Vs. anything else. You have to just set and enforce limits on screen time, full stop. Give it a good amount of time. Longer than feels necessary, probably. You are at a point in her life where bargaining is not instructive, it is destructive because bargaining, in fact, means arguing. Don't argue means don't bargain. Just take it away. And talk to her about it a lot **when she isn't freaking out** about you taking it away. This phase will pass. There will come a day when you can negotiate solutions with your daughter!! It just isn't today, and that's a bummer. I would start talking about the toxicity in her online friendships and I wouldn't stop until she'd internalized that lesson. I would point out how she's sinking to the level of people who have hurt her and ask her if that is the kind of person she wants to be. Tell it like it is. Tell her that how she reacts to people being bad is her choice. It is, in fact, her only choice. So she gets to choose what kind of person she's going to be. This always BITES but it will doubly so because she's not likely to have the opportunity to replace unhealthy dynamics with one set with healthy ones with another set. But the solution to that is NOT to let her stay stuck in that mire. It takes practice to be able to disentangle yourself from bad situations, unfortunately. She won't get the practice if she keeps on the way she's been going.
  11. What do you want to do in third grade? In general the best way to get ready for third grade is to grow up into third grade age 🙂 6 is young. 7 is young. I had a kid who zipped through everything. Everything was easy. At first I piled on (I have written about this here a lot) but I had to pull back when it hit me how very young he was. ^^^That's probably not applicable to your situation, because it's almost certain you're wiser than I was 🙂 I say it only to say this: So I pulled back [absolutely 100% the best choice!] and gradually a new worry took shape. Worry that he would never struggle through something even remotely unpleasant in order to achieve something. But you know what? In **my** mind, school is a near-constant focus. That's all fine, well, and good. I take it seriously and to a large extent, it is how I live out the love I have for my children, and my dedication to our family. But to my son (and yours), school is just one thing he does. This kid I am talking about here is nearly in high school ( 😞 ) and I'm happy to report that he will absolutely struggle through when things are difficult, to get to the good of finishing something or doing something well! School is still exceptionally easy, breezy for him. To up the requirements to make it difficult at this point I'd have to do something absurd like insist that he hand write long essays or something, making it physically uncomfortable. I can count on one hand the times he's had a hard time in school, and in all cases a nap and a cup of tea soothed him. But he struggled to learn how to swim and how to row and how to skateboard. He struggles through puzzling out how to do electronics builds with the supplies he has/that we can afford. He struggles to draw but keeps at it because he is convinced it's beneficial to the other things in life he's interested in. So on and so forth. This is all in direct contrast to one of his brothers, who fights hard for every advance in school work, but to whom almost everything else comes easily. So, yeah, I mean add new elements to writing and challenging problems in math. Absolutely. But we should all do that at least some times for all kids because kids are people and it's good for people-brains to mix things up now and again. But if you share your husband's concern that his relatively easy performance in school (and do remember that he's YOUNG-- it may well be that academics won't always come to him so effortlessly and you'll be missing these halcyon school days!) is indicative of his future character in general, please don't! I think if you don't ruin his abilities outside of school with an overabundance of twaddly entertainment, you're probably golden. And in the meantime you can do "stretching" things **together** until he finds his own things. He's at the age where doing things together is where it's at. So... learn how to ice skate or build bird houses or cleaning and caring for tools or..... literally anything whatsoever that you and your huz can do with him. It's really good that you are thinking about these things now, though, because later on when he starts getting into life's little struggles, you'll recognize them and be so proud 🙂
  12. Off the bat: don't use MUS unless something about it calls to you that you have not written about here. Based on what you have written, you would find it laborious. I hope that Miquon ppl will chime in, because I would have guessed that it'd be right up your alley. If RS is parent-intensive you might find that to be a boon rather than a mark to the negative. We bought only the abacus and the games pack, so that is another option. Math Mammoth is definitely A++, go for it. Look at MEP! It's free and may have all the things you're looking for 🙂 In general I'd say...don't take your 5 year old's preferences too seriously. I mean, yes, keep math and everything else in the sweet spot as often as you can but things like...she likes the abacus...so just use the abacus, don't choose a program based on that discreet fact, yanno? edit: 8 and I were writing at the same time, so what she said lol
  13. They told me three days but I got them in two.
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