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Zebra

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  1. Zebra

    BMV JAWM!

    This is a JAWM. Yesterday DD had an appointment (that took 2 months to get) for her drivers test. We get there, there is nowhere for me to wait. They take my car. I had to stand in a parking lot while she took her test. Fine, I lived for 30 minutes. She got her license (YAY), but then we had to wait FOUR HOURS to actually get her license. This has been happening since they opened by appointment only in June, according to the BMV employee who finally waited on us. However, now you cannot make an appointment. MANY of the the people that went in ahead of us had old appointments and would go up to the door and be allowed in. And we had an appointment for a road test, but not getting the actual license. They came around trying to get people to come back later. They will not let anyone make any more appointments. The only suggestion they had was to drive an hour away to a "possibly" less busy branch! The people in front of us had to drive over an hour to our branch because theirs is closed, and had already waited a month on the 2 month temporary license. The woman behind me needed to register her car because her municipality doesn't do it. She had already gotten a 30 day extension, and the day before had been pulled over by a State Trooper and was told she MUST get her car registered ASAP. My DD had to take the day off from work to go to her road test. We were told 90 minutes into our wait that we had 60 days to get her license. They did not tell us that when she passed her test. And I was not going to lose the 90 minutes we had already wasted, have her take ANOTHER day off work, wait for another 4 hours in linr etc. There was no indication, warning, etc we might wait in line for THAT LONG. On top of that I had to endure the humiliation of desperately needing a bathroom, and fighting with someone to let me inside to use the bathroom. They were not going to let anyone in until you go up to front of the line. I don't know a woman in the world who can go 4 hours without using a bathroom. Now I understand why people lose it! A year ago the news was abuzz because people had been waiting at BMV in my state for "up to 100 minutes" which was crazy at the time. So four hours isn't typical. I've never waited more than a half hour. We were standing next to the same people for 3+ hours. Yes we were outside, and yes most were wearing masks. Then we were inside for an hour. But, if anyone around us had Covid, I'm sure we got it from them. I do not understand how any of this is helping ANYONE. This is not a haircut, this is license survival related stuff. No one is at the BMV because they want to be! People have to work and drive cars, and I don't understand how anyone has the time to wait in line for 4 hours for something that is vital and also be denied food and bathroom facilities. And then, be exposed to all kinds of people for hours anyway. It's just absolutely insane, heartbreaking, and I think I may finally understand all the people who fight masks and have seemed to give up. I just never thought this country would get like this.
  2. If I ask for Ultra tampons there is a darn good reason. And it's a desperate situation when I get a teenage boys idea of a good substitution for feminine hygiene products. So no, I am not grateful across the board with all substitutions. Particularly when I specifically ask for NO substitutions. I'm with you OP. The substitutions are baffling and more trouble than they are worth. We've been in this pandemic long enough to do a reasonable job. No one should feel bad about reasonable criticisms.
  3. My dd started working at a local coffee shop a few weeks ago. Now she's been there long enough she's getting a portion of the tips. Today she came home with a little bit of cash. She's making normal minimum wage, but apparently she is going to get some tips too. There is a tip jar and apparently at the end of every shift the manager divvies it up. So this isn't like money someone gave directly to her, and the manager clearly knows about it. DH and I have absolutely no experience with this. Trying to read the IRS website is making my head spin. Other than having to report more than $20 a month in tips, I can't make sense of it. Relying on my dd to actually ASK her employer what she's supposed to do....well.....probably not going to happen. Is the employer supposed to be keeping track of this for her for tax time, or should we be making her keep a log? I mean, maybe she isn't going to earn enough money overall for it to matter but I don't want to have to scramble and figure it out when tax time comes around.... TIA!
  4. Could you threaten to get in the shower with him and wash his hair? I would think that even the most stubborn of teens would suddenly care very much! 🤣🤣🤣🤣
  5. Yeah, I've tried the whole shampooing less thing/no poo and none of it works for me. Really, really tried. But, some of us are just greaseballs. I bleached my hair this spring so I could dye it, and it's been a real eye opener about what life is like for people who don't have insanely greasy hair. I have magically dry hair now and I kind of love it.
  6. I like the Suave, but I also really like the Classic Clean Pantene. I know at that age my hair was so greasy I had to wash it twice, make sure it was rinsed completely, and not use a 2 in 1 shampoo or a "moisturizing" shampoo. And I could never use conditioner. All those things made my hair look greasy even though I had washed it. Also, I started blow-drying my hair because sometimes (particularly in the summer) when it air-dried it looked greasy. So maybe he just isn't washing it, or maybe he's not rinsing it out properly, or maybe he needs a more specific shampoo for his hair type.
  7. If we read the same story, I actually live in the state where this happened. And yes, it is a real thing. People have been doing it for years. I think I have heard about them arriving in the mail dead before, it just happens sometimes. I'm not sure if it's worse this year, or they are just trying to make a story. I've never ordered chickens, but FWIW I have had absolutely nothing turn up late in the mail recently. We're the easternmost state in the US and have a lot of rural areas (....but probably not as rural as Australia!). That's why they mail them, as far as I know.
  8. I keep saying this exact thing! The problem is, I am getting worse and now talking to myself LOUDER, forgetting that the mask doesn't block the sound! But I don't like that when someone says something to me like, "Oh Sorry" or "Excuse me" I generally smile at the person, like, "No worries" and now people think I am ignoring them.
  9. In my state we're not allowed to be in cars with non-household members. Which I think is overkill, and I wish we had the option to decide for ourselves if we should wear masks in the car. BUT, I also don't think you or your friend are wrong. Honestly, this situation is so new for all of us that expectations are going to have to be laid out for a long time. There are many gray areas right now.
  10. Me too, I am exhausted. I read an article from The Atlantic and one of the points I got out of it was all this "hygiene theater" is giving us "pandemic fatigue". And it's something I have been saying for awhile. For example, employees are spraying down every single grocery cart, when we all know it's a waste of time because surface spread really isn't the problem. But the "theater" of it makes us all feel better, just like all the stuff TSA does at the airports. Instead our precious effort should be put into more worthwhile things like masks or distancing or whatever, not uselessly spraying down every grocery cart when people should be washing their hands after grocery shopping anyway. Another thing I was reading about yesterday (in a book about self care) was the concept of "radical acceptance". For me personally it's being irritated because X candidate shouldn't win X election, or someone is wearing underwear for a mask, and realizing at a certain point I just have to accept these things. And not waste any more time ruminating or getting irritated. You do what you can and accept the situation and move on. These were 2 big concepts that came to me yesterday, and I think a lot of other people have touched on similar ideas as well.
  11. How is it for grating hard things like carrots? The salad shooter looks interesting too.
  12. No, but I do have a Nutrimill Artiste which uses the Bosch attachments I think. Good idea, I hadn't thought of that.
  13. I have been grating everything by hand for years. And I am finding that my wrist cannot handle it anymore. I need a new robot! I had a big food processor 20+ years ago but never used it and got rid of it. I also have zero counter space, and very little cabinet space. I grate lots of carrots and A LOT of cheese. I've been buying pre-grated cheese and it is not good IMHO. Maybe I need a small food processor? If so, which one? Anyone have a suggestion for a smaller machine?
  14. I'm sort of shocked this is the first time this has happened to you. It happens to me at least 10 times every time I go grocery shopping. Everyone is very lax about social distancing with mandatory masks.
  15. I have a completely dysfunctional family that I've had to entirely give up on years ago. I understand you are probably in a place where you still try to keep the peace with your family, which is why this decision is more of a struggle for you. However, it seems to me that A) It might be hard to leave after 10 minutes for various reasons (Aunt Edna will corner you and talk your ear off etc) and B) SIL sounds like she might be mad at you if you "only stay for 10 minutes" anyway. I really think you need to decide your discomfort level with going to a party like this, and base your actions on that. If you're comfortable with going to a party like this right now, then go. If you're not, then don't go. I would really base my decision on that. Not if I should go "to be nice", but how I feel about exposure to the virus. And I wouldn't over explain or apologize either if I decided not to go. Also, I don't know what is going on in your state but even though we're a low risk state we're still under a "stay safer at home" order. So it's easy to bow out of things.
  16. This isn't OCD. A more laid back personality might accuse you of overthinking it. But, I wouldn't accuse you of that. I think this current situation is impossible to figure out if you don't come up with some sort of system. It's a completely different world now than when you were making these same decisions last fall.
  17. I feel like he was since I talked to his wife. I didn't think that until last night. But, I also didn't hear the music again last night and they were out there when I went to bed at 10.
  18. It's an excellent learning opportunity for your kids, to see that the pastor isn't always right and you don't always agree with him. However, you need to think about the specific issue here. If the mask thing bothers you, then it's a problem. If it's the law and if it makes you uncomfortable that he's not wearing one, I think you need to find out why he isn't wearing one. If your pastor was caught speeding more than once, and he said, "My odometer is broken!" that might be a logical reason. But if he said, "I love to speed! I will never stop!" that would be pretty messed up. So I think context could be important here.
  19. I hope so. It might thaw my cynical little heart a bit 🤣 !
  20. It was positioned facing the gap into my yard. And I don't know if that makes a sound funnel or what there. It would be nice if he just moved the darn thing and that helped! I also offered to buy a sheet of acoustic foam, which you are supposed to be able to put under speakers to absorb some bass in apartments. But he didn't want to.
  21. Interesting. Do you mind telling me what material this is made out of? Was it something special?
  22. So, I have an update. Already! Friday night the neighbors started in at 3 pm. Saturday, the same thing. I was outside trying to read, and that was over. I went back outside at about 6:30 and was trying to look in their yard around my shed. There are a lot of branches and trees in the way, and a shed, and I was 10-15 feet away from their property, at the front of my shed not behind it. I was trying to sort of stand and look into the gap in between fences. Because at this point I am trying to figure out if I can record them, or put in a fence in or what. And I am trying to figure out by standing there how loud the music is, and if I can tell if it's bouncing off something obvious. It's hard to figure anything out when it's dark, or the music is not playing. And honestly I've never gone out there and tried to assess the situation before when they were actually playing the music. I wasn't hiding, but I also wasn't being obvious. We get in our shed all the time. And frankly, if I want to stand at the EDGE of my own property and look in their yard I have that right! It's weird, but I mean, GOSH! So yesterday when I was out there the guy was STANDING in his yard BLARING A/C D/C! Just standing there, him alone. I stood there looking for about 1 minute, wasn't entirely sure he could even see me, and he suddenly slammed the music off and screamed at me, "IT'S 6:30 AT NIGHT!!!!!" I can't come up with any other description than surreal. I do not skulk around the yard generally other than what I described above. I have said nothing to them for 12 years, until 3 weeks ago. And that time I went around the block, to the front of their house and knocked on their front door. I had a polite 5 minute conversation with the wife. I don't stand out in the yard and complain and sigh. Or incite the neighborhood. So what this says to me is, he feels guilty and has been being more of a jerk about it lately!! I don't know what came over me but I just calmly fought my way through all the branches, where our properties meet. Because had I had time to think about it I would have been po'd at the guy. And screamed at him and made the situation worse. We had a long back and forth. I explained a lot, I was FIRM but apologetic. He, by the end of it told me it wasn't my fault, that he would try to turn it down, try to move the music somewhere else in the yard. And, he said, I know how annoying it can be when you have to listen to something pounding like that. So....this was a shocking turn of events. I'm sorry, no one in the world needs to blare music outside 8+ hours 4 days a week. It's rude and mean to subject your neighbors to that. I shouldn't feel guilty that I don't want to listen to music in my house every time he does! Hopefully he understands that now. I am really, really hopeful. FWIW, the guy was using an Alexa. I wouldn't believe that you could hear it in my house either! Either we live in an "acoustical nightmare" or we need to do a commercial for how amazingly powerful the Alexa is 🤣 !!!
  23. I don't think I meant ear cancelling....that sounds violent 🤣 NOISE cancelling!
  24. Exactly. If I could just get my own anxiety under control, it might help the situation a little. Last night it was warm enough so that we could run the a/c at least for a few hours and I slept pretty well. I looked out at 10 and their lights were off, so I am assuming they had turned the music off. (I didn't want to turn the a/c on to check and wake my daughter up at that point! ironically) I did read an interesting article written about a Dr on sound sensitivity. He said that 80% of people who have sound sensitivity also have a magnesium deficiency. DH and I were talking about maybe installing a fence on our property. Maybe even just a few lengths of, I don't know what, to just have the sound bounce off. I don't understand acoustics well enough to guess what might work. And I would love some ear cancelling headphone suggestions if you have any.
  25. It makes me physically ill too. And I feel silly about it! It's just been too many nights now. I need like 6 nights to recover in between dance parties! I think they are bored too. I think it's got to be 2 calls from different residences. And it's not bothering anyone else. Again, some sort of acoustical nightmare that I don't think we can solve without rebuilding our house. Plus the pandemic. The good news is we can start running the a/c soon, but then I don't know what I will do in September.
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