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JIN MOUSA

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Posts posted by JIN MOUSA

  1. Infrequent poster here, but have some experience with this (that I wish I didn't). Another option to consider is a life insurance policy with an advanced use rider. My mom has this (I think it's either variable or universal life insurance), and we are planning on drawing on this rider. So the LTC is not a separate policy, but with certain qualifications (using a state-licensed home health care agency or state-licensed facility, and certification from a doctor of a diagnosis of dementia or requires help with 2+ ADLs), we can use up to the full death benefit for long term care expenses.

    • Like 1
  2. 5 hours ago, Baseballandhockey said:

    So glad to meet you!

    I worry about safety.  They've discussed converting Grandpa's garage, or building a shed.  I trust my FIL immensely, worrying is just my nature.  

    A garage or shed are better options than say, a spare bedroom or basement, so that's a good start!

    This is a very thorough walkthrough on setting up a studio https://alchemistressbeads.wordpress.com/2015/08/08/studio-set-up-part-1-choosing-your-space/ 

    And if he needs a space to ask questions, I've found this Facebook group to be helpful https://www.facebook.com/groups/lampworkbeadmaking

    It can definitely be done safely at home, it just takes intentionality and prioritizing safety - plus you know, the time + money thing.

  3. Coming out of lurking! I do flameworking and have looked into setting up a home studio. I ended up at deciding to rent studio space. 

    To do it safely at home requires a significant initial expense and also the right space to set it up. Most torches run on propane (or occasionally a different fuel) and oxygen, either in tanks or using a decommissioned medical oxygen concentrator. 

    The flame combustion and the trace elements in various glasses releases some nasty chemicals into the air, so sufficient ventilation and air movement is a must. 

    Then there's the other tools/supplies to buy, such as the torch, a kiln (usually a small one that runs on a regular outlet - though it is good to have a dedicated circuit), fireproof work surface, and miscellaneous small tools and paraphernalia. 

  4. 2 minutes ago, domestic_engineer said:

    What makes a good Bobby pin?  They always seem to skip out and never hold a thing in fine hair. 
     

    I’ve  learned I was using them upside down, but even with reorienting them, they still seem to slide out. 

    Teach me, please. 

    The MetaGrip ones are really stiff, so they don't slide out as easily (I also have fine hair). Like I have to hold it open with my fingers to get in place and then pull it open again to get it out without pulling hair. 

    Also, bobby pins like to have friends, so two crossed over each other from different directions are more secure than single ones.

    • Thanks 1
  5. Last summer I kept my hair very long and wore a braid crown most days. It looks very fancy, but with really long hair is super-easy. Two braids on the side, wrap one braid up and around head, bobby pin in place. Repeat with other braid.

    I liked it because it helped distribute the weight (#longhairproblems) and was very secure (wore it swimming and also all day at Universal Studios, on rollercoasters and such).

    A few tips to help:

    - My hair would stick in its braids and behave better if it was a little bit damp when I put it up, so I kept a spray bottle with water in the bathroom to help.

    - GOOD bobby pins are a must; I like these https://www.amazon.com/s?k=metagrip+bobby+pins&i=beauty&ref=nb_sb_noss_2

    - If you're going to be outside, either do your braids so you don't have a part in the middle, or be sure to put sunscreen on your part; ask me how I know ...

    • Like 1
  6. In high school we had a costume day for something, and I dressed up like a Christmas elf -- red/white striped socks, green shoes with pointy toes and jingle bells on the end, jeans, vaguely Christmas-ish shirt, some sparkly eye makeup, Santa hat. And the best part were the ears. I got some pointy ears from a legit costume shop (I think they were marketed as Spock ears), attached them with liquid latex, and covered them and blended them into my skin with stage makeup foundation. It was fun. 

    Walking through the halls that day, I had one girl (surely a freshman), stop me and say, "OH. MY. GOSH. You have elf ears!"

     

    (beat)

     

     

    (beat)

     

     

    (ANOTHER beat)

     

     

    (the light dawns) "Ohhhhh, they're fake."

    😳

    • Haha 4
  7. - self-service holds and check-out

    - a children's area separated with proper doors and walls, and a good bathroom for children in said children's area

    - study rooms available to reserve

    - a room with seating and tables that is specifically marked as a quiet room

    - a hold system that allows me visit the library once a week and not risk having any books put back (another library near me has a 3-day hold period and wildly different timeframes on getting books, so even if I wait until my first book ready is about to be put back, another book arrives the next day and I feel like I'm constantly needing to go to the library to pick up books)

    - no fines on children's items (it's very rare for us to be late in returning a book, but I appreciate the realization that even what seems like small fines to most of us can become overly burdensome and a hurdle to using the library for some, especially for those who could particularly benefit from free access to lots of books and other items)

    • Like 1
  8. I'll be making this drive on a Monday in July with my 3 kids. Any hot tips?

    I'm pretty sure I'll take I-90 through New York and Massachusetts, then skirt around Boston up to I-95. I've heard great stuff about the Kancamagus Highway in NH, but this will be the final leg of a multi-day road trip, and I don't relish the idea of adding even an extra hour. I'm consoling myself by saying it's the totally wrong time of year, so I won't be missing anything. 

    I'm looking for any great places to eat or stop on the way. We're usually use-the-bathroom-at-a-nice-gas-station-while we-fill-up-and-get-a-snack kind of people, rather than rest-stop kind of people, but I'm open to suggestions. 

  9. Thanks for all the replies everyone, and the reminder that this is a long-term battle. I just get so tired of hearing myself saying the same things again and again, and I'm sure my kids are tired of hearing it too. 

    Some general responses:

    - I feel like I'm constantly fighting battles on several fronts with DS4, this being one of them. He's not allowed in his sisters' room, and I have no problem with the girls playing in there, without him. He is often sad when they don't want to play with him, and I explain that may be a consequence of how he treats them. Given all of that, there are times when they all play nicely together.

    - DD8 is very much an oldest child and would be happy to run everyone's life for them, whether they want it or not. And I have explained to her that DS4 often tries to bother her more than DD6 because DD8 tries to be in charge. 

    - I definitely let DD8 know it's okay to be angry, and if someone did whatever DS4 did to me, I'd be angry too. The problem comes when she says that she had no choice but to hit him because he made her angry. 

    - I'm trying to find the balance of letting the kids navigate relationships and conflict on their own and me having to mediate every. single. time.

    - I also need to remember DD8 is only 8 - it's easier for me to have unrealistic expectations for the oldest. 

    Funny (sad?) story about this whole thing: we've had to put a moratorium on saying the golden rule because DD8 had an absolutely twisted understanding and application of it. "He hit me, so that's *obviously* what he wants, and I'm just giving him what he wants, because you should treat other people how you want to be treated." No amount of explaining or discussing was getting any traction on this, so we've moved on to, "Outdo one another in showing honor - try to be the *most* kind".

  10. I've used this - https://www.amazon.com/All-Terrain-DEET-Free-Repellent-Activities/dp/B000MWDYAY/ref=sr_1_1

    It doesn't spray on nice and smooth like aerosol cans, but I just spray a bunch in my hands and then rub it in. I think it smells nice for bug spray and does a decent job of keeping the mosquitos away. 

    For the 1-year old, there's also a Kids' version. As with most things and a 1-year old, I'd be concerned about anything on their hands that would end up in their mouth. 

     

  11. I'm looking for a different way to frame this ongoing challenge I have with DD8. She and DS4 get into spats multiple times a day. Part of the problem is that DS4 likes to push buttons, and I think he does so more with DD8 than with DD6 because DD8 tries to be in charge of him. I'm working with DS4 on his issues. What I'm looking for help with is how to talk to help DD8 in these situations. 

    Up to now, I've been acknowledging that DS4 has acted rudely (being careful to talk about his behavior being rude, not he himself being rude), and then reminding DD8 that the only person she can make choices for is herself. We've gone over that if your brother is acting rudely, you can say, "Please stop ___." If he doesn't, you can say, "That's unkind." If you're getting angry, you should walk away before you make a bad choice. Choosing to hit him or yell at him or rip something out of his hands - those are all bad choices. 

    So this is the discussion I've had with her 50+ times. As we proceed through this discussion, I give her time to air her grievances and acknowledge that she's upset and so on. I just feel like I'm not getting anywhere. 

    Any ideas?

  12. 7 hours ago, Seasider too said:

    BTW, ime with construction, sometimes you get farther when business can happen man to man. Sad but true. Perhaps your husband could call the male business owner?

    i know, shouldn’t have to be this way. But you might get answers faster. 

    THIS drives me up a wall. I had SO much more knowledge about general construction stuff and specifically about our project, but I had to go above and beyond to more or less prove that to our contractors before they'd even get close to talking to me about the project the same way they talked to DH about it. 

    OP - contractor stuff is so frustrating. I've half-jokingly played with the idea of getting trained and licensed to be a GC, and then just do good business (like regular communication). 

    What is it about construction or people who are drawn to construction that it so often involves such terrible communication? Is there any other industry that seems to have such an endemic communication problem?

    • Like 1
  13. 5 hours ago, soror said:

    Very good point about medical care for the kids, that is something we'll have to make sure is settled, we do have back-up care!!!! I bet that was a bit scary. We were planning 2 CC's just in case, we planned on getting some Euros and pounds for London but no clue how much we need. WE're going to pay for most stuff ahead of time but some things, like a taxi that won't work.  Dd3 did ask for some Brittish candy! 

    In the CCs, you should carry one and DH the other, that way if something happens to either of y'all's wallet/bag/whatever, y'all will still have an uncompromised cc with you. 

    • Like 2
  14. Not sure what you've tried, but I've had good luck with OxiClean on other items. I do a combination of scrubbing them with paste (powder with just enough water to mix it and apply with an old toothbrush) and letting them soak in solution (hot water with just enough powder to dissolve). 

  15. 1 minute ago, PeterPan said:

    Is he going now or did you drop it? It sounds like he likes novelty.

    What you might try is some activities where you work on non-verbals and joint attention. Sometimes that behavior is masking that something is wrong (glitched, missing). So google RDI and do some activities that work on joint attention. You can play them as games or do activities together where you drop the language and just do it by pointing. It can improve pairing, compliance, and promote calm.                                              Relationship Development Intervention with Young Children: Social and Emotional Development Activities for Asperger Syndrome, Autism, PDD and NLD                                     

     

    He's going now. The rough day was the last day he had last week, and I've already started prepping him for today.

    And I'll look into that resource. I forgot to answer your other question - his language is fine. In fact his sense of debate may be overly developed?

    • Haha 2
  16. 17 hours ago, PeterPan said:

    I think the blank plates are a safe option. He also sounds like he's bored and maybe needs to start some serious school work to use up that brain power. Nature walks, math, read-alouds, crank it up. I was doing K'nex science kits and roller coasters at that age with my ds. 

                                                K’NEX Education – Intro to Structures: Bridges Set – 207 Pieces – For Grades 3-5 Construction Education Toy                                     

                                                K'NEX Education - Intro to Simple Machines: Gears Set – 198 Pieces – Grades 3-5 – Engineering Education Toy                                     

    How is his language? My ds was unusually precocious with his fine motor and dexterity because the brain energy that should have been going into language development wasn't. When we got really good speech therapy, he stopped some of that behavior. So if there's something else on him that is behind, definitely look into pulling that up. 

    The other thing is, and this is sort of in the category of untruths that I didn't know where untruths, but my mom always told me if you put your finger or whatever in the outlet you'd DIE. I didn't know till my mid-20s that wasn't the case, so I had already told that to my dd. My ds was told that too, that my mom always told me... And I'm still surprised he's not frying things and causing problems. My SO put a knife in an outlet (yeah, don't ask, it was dumb) and sparked and lost metal from the knife and made burn marks! So almost no where is that safe, seems to me. So I'd be giving him some stern imprecatory truths. Like maybe take him to a morgue online or something. But that's just me. 

     

    11 hours ago, Rachel said:

    I have a very resourceful kid too. It can be quite tiring.  Hopefully this particular issue is a passing phase.

     Maybe when you get this solved you can figure out how to channel that curiosity elsewhere. If he’s interested in electricity maybe he would like snap circuits. 

     

    This version of the nonsense is part of a larger pattern of nonsense. It may very well be that he is bored, but it's also combined with must-not-agree-with-mom-about-anything-ever. I've asked him if he wants to do school with me (yes) and what he wants to learn (how to write). So we tried some, but all he wanted to do was argue with me over how to write each letter.

    I've tried all sorts of things with this kid, but he doesn't want my help and so things go one of two ways: he can't do it on his own and gets super frustrated, screaming and throwing things; or he can do it on his own and he gets bored with it and squirrels it away in his room (like the Hotel California, lots of stuff in, NOTHING out). 

    The above, plus other nonsense, for months on end, is how I ended up enrolling him in preschool last month, which has mostly been fine, until the day he decided he didn't want to go and I got to carry him in screaming and thrashing. 

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