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highspirits

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Everything posted by highspirits

  1. Haha yeah this exactly. We have a very active group text. Kids all the same ages and have known each other since birth. It definitely feels a little different than just “friends†Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  2. I really didn’t think I would get this many responses, thank you especially for those of you who offered support and hugs! Weirdly enough, I feel fully processed now. Something just snapped into place this afternoon and I don’t feel hurt anymore. I’m heading out to see my friends in about 20 minutes and I feel totally capable of asking how the party went and enjoying pictures and stories and whatever they want to share. And being genuinely happy about it for C. My son also made a cupcake and decorated a balloon for his friend and he was excited about that so even though I’m still seeing reflected in anxious behaviors, it’s progress. So we are good here. This was really helpful and therapeutic, thank you everyone. You are of course welcome to keep discussing social niceties and so on if you wish :) Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  3. Thanks for this post! I think there is so much here that is truth. I know I sometimes don’t know how to handle a situation so kind of just throw my hands up and hope for the best! There are a million possible reasons, but in the end it doesn’t really matter because these are good friends who have my back :) Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  4. Thanks for this, I think you nailed it exactly. It’s like I know no one did anything wrong, but I guess it would have been nice for my friends to make an effort knowing that we’ve been having a hard time lately. I didn’t realize that was the root of why I’m having a hard time letting go. This is like therapy :) I’ll go do something for myself today :) Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  5. Yes thank you for the support. I really do need to get out (he was up multiple times last night crying about it and I’m really tired!) so that’s why I do want to go out with my friends tonight, but I’m not sure I’m emotionally ready not to say something unnecessary if it comes up. Mainly just because I’m mentally and emotionally tired. Getting to talk about it here has helped since I couldn’t take it to my RL friends :) Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  6. He’s upset about all of it :( his friends having fun without him, missing out on games and activities. And especially cake. He loves cake. We are having some today! Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  7. This is a lovely idea! I actually offered it to my son and he was upset that other people might hear about the fun time they had and feel sad and left out. I love his sensitive heart .... maybe just a little raw for him to consider right now. We are going to have to have lots more conversations about this! Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  8. Yeah we had been thinking about doing an art class with the kids together but then she said she had decided it was too far to drive. It would really have been better if they just said they were busy, or going to a party. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  9. Thank you! I think a heads up would have really helped my son be able to process, he was really blindsided when his other friend shared all about it. I honestly just think the mom didn’t think about it. As my good friend she knows we’ve been struggling a lot with his anxiety and emotional regulation lately (we’ve had lots of conversations even in the last week) so although I wouldn’t expect her to consider his feelings, it would have been nice! Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  10. I don’t know if you read the original post very closely, but I specifically said I was trying to work through things in my own head so that it doesn’t affect our relationships or make anyone else feel bad. I also specially said exactly what you did, that it is okay for people to choose who to invite to parties and that we are working through that with my son. I’m feeling sad that my son is sad. It’s okay to have feelings. I refuse to believe that that makes me petty, micromanaging, or in any way a bad friend. Also, it’s just moms hanging out tonight, without kids. I think that giving myself a little time to get over the initial hurt so I can approach this maturely is not unhealthy. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  11. I think this is partly why I’m confused. I have a lovely picture of all of them (including my son) dressing up as princesses just a couple of months ago. At this friends house. It so obviously wouldn’t have been a problem at all. I think it would help me to get it off my chest and I definitely prefer for things to be out in the open, but I don’t think it’s worth making my friend feel sad about the party she made for her daughter. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  12. Thank you for this. Could you clarify what you mean by “problem within your own family� I mean my son is sad, I’m feeling sad, but I don’t really know if that’s a problem? It’s just feelings :) I definitely want to be gentle and probably won’t say anything at all just because I don’t want her to have a little raincloud over what seems like a wonderful memory for their family. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  13. Yeah that’s the conclusion I came to as well. I think if we were having our mom get together at the weekend I would be fine, it’s just tonight it’s still a little raw, you know? Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  14. Yep, no boys were invited. I know it definitely wasn’t personal and that’s why I’m trying to get past being upset. My son is only 4 though, and in therapy for anxiety and other issues, so he takes things really hard. We’ve talked about they just wanted it to be girls etc but I still have to deal with the fallout. It will likely be a couple of days before he’s not acting out constantly on his disappointment. And I think that’s what it’s hard, because it makes my parenting week really hard and I can’t even vent to my closer friends about it now! Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  15. So my son didn’t get invited to the birthday party of one of his best friends (a little girl we will call C). He’s 4 and found out when another of his best friends (we will call her b) was telling him about it yesterday. He is completely distraught and it’s really set off a whole chain of emotions/ difficult behaviors. Right now he’s refusing to go to his therapy because he’s so upset. So yay for that. I’m trying not to be upset. Logically I know that it’s just a kids birthday party and kids should be able to invite (or not invite) whoever they want. Also, the party was a princess party and I imagine that was probably the biggest reason he wasn’t invited. Though I’m kind of annoyed at the sexism in that considering they are 4 and my son is a sweet sensitive boy who is happy to play princesses, is not self conscious about traditionally “girl stuffâ€, and would have enjoyed the party very much. So the biggest problem is, I’m supposed to be hanging out this evening with C’s mom, B’s mom, and another girl’s mom who also went to the party. These are a few of my best friends. I looked after B in my home for over 2 years and C for months (for free!) while her mom got back on her feet after her divorce. I’m upset and I know I shouldn’t be but I’ve just spent the last 24 hours dealing with an extremely emotional preschooler and I’m all worn down. It wasn’t personal, I know. I don’t feel like anyone should have done anything differently particularly but I still don’t really want to talk to them right now. Oh, and I asked B’s mom whether she was coming to something and she gave some excuse. It’s only after I realized they were at the party instead and didn’t want to tell me. So I’m kind of upset about that too. So my question is, how do I let this go? I know time will help, so should I just cancel tonight and hope no one tries to delve too deeply into why? Try and get through the evening with a fake smile? C’s mom posted lots of cute pictures of happy smiling twirling girls on Facebook and seems so happy about the beautiful memories created. I don’t want to mar that for her. But ... ugh Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  16. Hey just a heads up in case you didn’t know, but this is basically as dangerous as taking the baby out of the car seat. Your weight and positioning would compromise the car seat in the event of a crash Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  17. Just re-reading the thread and I need to look into whether the seatbelt locks and how to do that. That might help a ton actually. For those saying high back boosters, one would fit but it’s that tiny middle seat that’s causing the issue. But I really appreciate the ideas, I’ve got lots to think about in terms of solutions! Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  18. It’s a 7 seater van. I have 3 kids of my own in car seats, and there is only space for the set up we have now, since someone has to be in the tiny middle seat on the back row. So no, nothing safer is going to fit. They were doing carpool before me and were excited when I got the van so I could join. They just continued using the same system with boosters and leaving them at preschool that they had before. But obviously no one else had issues with this. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  19. Thank you for this. I think we could do a face to face conversation. They already know I’m the weird friend :) Just to be clear, they aren’t getting all the way out of their seats (though they do unbuckle before I’ve come to a complete stop), they just aren’t sitting safely (leaning forward, sliding their bottoms off the booster onto the chair etc). And of course the poor fit. That’s still a problem right? Everything I’ve read says that they should be able to sit properly to move into a booster. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  20. Yes, Britax clicktight! That’s what I have for my son. Best install ever :) Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  21. Thanks everyone. I just didn’t know if I was overreacting or not! Sounds like I’m not [emoji4] Unfortunately these moms are my very good friends and opting out of carpool is going to take more explanation then simply that it isn’t working for us. I’m going to have to think on that and how to handle that :/ since preschool is 30 min away, it will be a pain for everyone to have this not work out. Oh well Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  22. Absolutely. Plus big car seats actually wouldn’t fit. It’s definitely a question of whether I continue with carpool or whether I opt out. I was fine with the situation until I realized how often they move around unsafely in their seats! Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  23. So I’ve been thinking about something for awhile and am looking for opinions. I carpool with some other moms to get our kids to preschool. I make sure that my 4yo is always in a 5 point harness because I’m pretty strict about car seat safety. The other moms however send their kids with backless boosters. I’m pretty sure they are over the minimums required for boosters so it’s not illegal per say, but it’s definitely not best practice especially when they won’t sit still (you know, because they are 4 and don’t have great impulse control yet). I’m always having to tell them to stay in their seats, and one girl in particular has one of those inflatable boosters that doesn’t get her high enough for the seatbelt to be in the right position on her shoulder. My question is, would you allow this in your car? It’s basically this or no carpool at all. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  24. My brother and his wife are visiting there right now and were just telling us this story! Everyone’s phones in their group just started beeping at the same time. They got all panicked and went outside and thought they heard fighter jets. They couldn’t figure out where to go or what to do though and they couldn’t find anything online. They are back to relaxing at the beach now though [emoji4] Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  25. Agreed. Those things say like half an hour prep time, which is usually a full hour if you have kids underfoot. Too much work! Plus if her kids are picky they probably won’t eat the meal and then she’ll still has to come up with something for them to eat. I think it’s great you are trying to help her out. Homemade frozen stuff would definitely be the way to go if you can, or chik-fil-a gift cards (drive through, play place, the food isn’t bad AND they usually give a book instead of a toy in kids meals) Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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